A/N: Tuesday, I had said something stupid to a family member and hurt us both. I wrote this to help ease my turmoil. I realize that Loki is most likely OOC, so I apologize. This story is like Loki's inner thoughts/ monologue to Thor and it's only brotherly love. Enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Loki's Lies
How has it come to this? I remember when we were brothers so long ago. We were close, nearly alike, yet different. I remember when we were in trouble for something we did and were punished for it. My memory recalls everything we had done in our childhood. However, I do not remember the exact moment, the precise action, which has set us on these separate paths we have walked since.
I have lied to you. I told you we were no longer brothers. I told you we never had been brothers. I hoped you would see through these lies and see the love I so desperately clung to even after I let go and fell into the abyss, even as Thanos warped my mind and seeded it with vengeful thoughts that were not entirely my own. It helped me endure and retain a portion of my sanity that I had hid.
When we met on Midgard, and after you started to believe my lies, I felt something within me die slowly and painfully. I knew you would never see what I wanted you to see.
In the observatory, I wanted you to tell me we were still brothers, even though I knew you did not know that my world was crashing down around me. Even though I tried to destroy you, I wanted you to tell me everything was not as dark as it seemed. You did not.
To protect myself, I lashed out even harder than I had already. I stabbed you in an, admittedly, underhanded way. I felt myself die even quicker. A tear escaped the corner of my eye unnoticed as you stumbled back in pain and as I cursed the hope that was in your eyes. I was casted the villain to your hero. Is it my fault that I was casted the villain, despite the love I still hold for you? Or is it because Fate knew that I would hate you as well?
A year has passed since my capture on Midgard and you have yet to visit me. During my imprisonment, I come to hate this enduring love I have for you and the desire to prove myself worthy of your love. I became embittered and convinced that the love and hope I saw on Stark's roof was a lie to kill this accursed affection.
When you do, finally, visit me, I feel the affection that I had long thought dead come alive, once more. My heart beats faster in hope that you have seen through all my lies and understand. I am willing to tell you immediately how much I regret my actions. I am willing to be your brother again. Until you speak first.
You tell me that you have come to ask for my help and that when I betray you, you will kill me. My hope to be redeemed dies. I see I have finally convinced you of my lies. You no longer consider me with hope. You now think me, what the mortals call, a lost cause. When I realize this, I feel a part of me die permanently. I am terrified that it is the part of me that is still capable of good.
Very well, then. You have no hope for me, then I have none for myself. I will forget our time as brothers. I will forget everything. Everything except my hate. I shall be your greatest enemy…
Perhaps, one day, I will convince myself of this lie.
End
A/N: Thank you for reading. :)