Love the Ninja Way
Ninja are not like regular kids. They kill young and die young. The moment they pledge their life to their village, it can be given up like a shot to the heart or a mere wave of a hand. Not many kids who live in ninja families are ready for that though, and they are weeded out early in their career.
Tenten was perfect for the job. She was passionate about saving those less fortunate than her, and was already mature enough to understand her death would not be meaningless and to accept it with an open smile. She embraced the ninja tools, finding that sleeping with dozens of potentially fatal weapons more soothing than frightening. Her aim was perfect, and she would happily remark to her parents, "Look mom! Look dad! If that had been a person, they'd be dead!" She giggled like butterflies and didn't see her father gasp and her mother cover her disgust with her hand.
A ninja with civillian parents was nearly impossible. To be associated with the lifestyle was like burying your offspring early. Only a ninja clan would understand, but Tenten's parents have never even seen a shuriken until their precious only daughter brought three home one day and spent the afternoon throwing them at the dummy she had created in the back yard.
Her parnets fought often over what went wrong or who was to blame.
"Something is disturbed about her," Tenten's rugged, lanky father said sternly. He was more used to picking up garbage off the street than picking up his daughter's horrible, horrible weapons she collected like daises. "No girl - no person - should find comfort in these deadly tools so much. It's a mental disorder."
"She's going to kill us one day," Tenten's tired, wiry mother said bitterly. "That is no daughter of mine, that is a monster put inside me to destroy us. She is a danger in and of herself." To Tenten's parents she was a demon in disguise, a charade of bright doe-eyes and childish buns in her hair wearing a pink silken shirt. To the ninja academy, which she adamantly forced her parents to enroll her in, she was a diligent student who will most likely become a great asset to any team.
"Mom, dad," Tenten called to them one day, and her parents could almost believe that she was just an average girl when she said that. She held her hands behind her back, lower lip trembling and her endearing eyes twinkling like golden stars about to overflow with tears. Her father embraced her and picked her up, setting her on his lap proudly.
"Yes, Tian," he said, using her nickname affectionately. "What is the matter."
Tenten looked away, sniffling slightly and mumbled to him, "None of the other kids in the neighborhood want to play with me anymore." A feeling of dread welled up in her father's chest, something cold and hard as he gazed at his monstrous daughter, but he pushed it down in hopes of something better. Anything was better than this.
"Why would they not want to play with you?" he inquired as patiently as he could. Already he was disgusted he had set her on his lap, so close to him that all it took was one flick of her wrist or shot to the heart to end him. In the kitchen his wife had already turned back to washing the dishes with disinterest.
She whined in her throat like a baby panda, completely innocent to the world until she spoke, "Well I was showing Kenichi my kunai, and I told him that ninja have to overcome their flight or fight instincts. I demonstrated by throwing one at him, and I made sure it was only grazing his neck! There was no way he could have gotten hurt! But he screamed and his mother shooed me away, telling me I couldn't play with her son anymore."
Tenten looked to her father for reassurance, but he roughly pushed her off him. Tearily, Tenten watched as he stood up, trying not to acknowledge her, and exited the room as quickly as possible.
It happened near her seventh birthday. If Tenten had to be specific, the decision was set in stone the day she told her parents she wanted a katana.
"They're so beautiful!" she swooned, stars in her wide eyes as she went through the movements of slashing and stabbing. "Look, I even practiced! Handling a katana will be no problem for me!" Her charisma died down when her parents regarded her with that same look they often gave. Tenten was used to it, she wouldn't let it get her down on her dream to be a great ninja like princess Tsunade. But today, something felt just a little different. Just a little colder.
The next day they left.
They didn't pack much, as if they were escaping years worth of torture and imprisonment than their own daughter. Tenten didn't really understand nor believe it until she found herself come back to an empty house sixteen days in a row.
She didn't know what to do, so she told her teacher because at least when she tells him she can hit her target a hundred out of a hundred he doesn't look down on her with scorn.
Despite her retelling of the story, Tenten didn't cry. She had always known her parents hated her in some way, hoping for a sweet feminine daughter that will be humble and pure with rosy red cheeks and smooth dainty palms. She was a failure to them, picking what she loved over the woman who gave birth to her.
"It'll be okay," her teacher said, cradling her to his chest. Tenten embraced it, having never been hugged in a long, long time. The only form of physical contact she remembered was that time she wasn't allowed to play with the civillian kids anymore, and her father consoled her until she explained why, then he pushed her off and left the room. Tenten had no idea that a simple hug could be so warm.
After that, Tenten was given an apartment to herself and taught how to take care of it. She was a ninja, she couldn't go to an orphanage. She was allowed to keep everything her parents left behind, and could begin paying back the debt when she was a genin and would take missions.
She would never admit it, but Tenten was glad for the outcome of these events. No one was staring at her with judging eyes or a barely concealed look of disapproval. They didn't scold her if she practiced juggling kunai or pinning her hair up with senbon. Maybe she should have made her parents leave her years ago, but the thought was so disturbing she bottled it down and smiled instead.
Tenten finished the academy with top-marks and was placed in a team with a Hyuuga and a no-named kid who could only use taijutsu. Tenten tried to teach Rock Lee how to use weapons, but his aim was terrible and he lost more of her kunai that she will admit. Neji on the other hand always held a dark look in his eyes that reminded Tenten of her father, and thus she didn't want to associate with him.
But it was that deep, bottomless stare of seeing something he hated that drove Tenten to him. She had never been able to appease her father, but she found hope in the pale-eyed boy. It didn't matter to her whatever Neji had gone through, because she knows the pains of losing everything you had loved. He pushed her away, but Tenten was so used to it that she took it on the chin and wedged herself closer.
She trained with Neji, who at least appreciated her perfect aim with cool respect. He taught her hand-to-hand combat, and she helped him take care of his weapons despite not really needing them. Sometimes she would forget his cold voice and his usual frowns, and just prattle off about weapons to him like she was discussing the joys of love and life.
If Tenten loved anything about Neji at that time, it was because he wouldn't leave her when she was like this.
"You are truly weapon-obsessed," he said with a hint of a smirk, sitting cross-legged against the trunk of an aged tree. Tenten had been spending their break time prancing around twirling her new weighted chain as if she had just received a cute puppy.
To his surprise, Tenten stilled immediately and put the chain down. She looked at him with fear in her doe-eyes; it wasn't for him, but he had caused her pain in some way.
A tense silence enveloped them. Tenten held her hands in supplication behind her back, watching a bird pass by overhead. "Neji," she said softly, "do you think being weapon-obsessed is bad?"
It was a ridiculous question. To a ninja.
Neji scoffed as if he found the mere thought absurd, not catching how Tenten stilled at his reaction. "Of course not," he said, causing something to finally warm in the girl's chest. "You are a ninja, Tenten. Your vast knowledge and versatile utility of weapons is nearly the best in the village. The fact that you enjoy what you do is simply an exceptionally lucky bonus, a trait most wished they were fated with." Neji was slightly relieved when her eyes shone brilliantly, two amber gems dancing about jubilantly in her head. For some reason, Tenten not looking happy was just too weird for him as he watched her jump-rope with her weighted chain and throw it around some more in glee.
Some would say that Neji needed Tenten in those lonely times, the light in his life that kept him from trying to kill his cousin early. But in truth, he anchored her just as much as him. Lee had Gai, and Gai had them, but to each other they found the strength to pick themselves up.
Of course, to the outside they appeared to be very formal teammates who could trust the other with their life. They didn't pat each other on the back or drag the other into something they didn't want to do. Tenten, because her life had literally revolved around no physical contact and doing what she wanted. Neji, because he hated being touched and was too stubborn to try anything new.
Every day they trained as a team, but one day Neji propositioned Tenten as a sparring partner.
"I need to work on something I've been trying out confidentially," he told her after a visit to Lee in the hospital. Tenten had been feeling rather down that her weapons were unable to penetrate Temari's defenses, and agreed to train with Neji to take her mind off it. She didn't know that Neji had very determinedly tried to kill his cousin soon after her own match, or that he picked her for training because she was the least likely to judge him. She didn't know until much later, and still believed she would have helped him had she known.
It took him nearly a week to pivot on his heel several times in a row, and another half a week to begin pouring chakra out of his system into a dome shape. Tenten helped by throwing weapons at him, forcing his body to move in a circular pattern to avoid being hit. Training with him helped Tenten bring back her confidence in her weapons, that she was worth something.
Somewhere in the middle, the two evolved into a fragile bone-china friendship held on a tentative understanding. Neji was concerned about her wellbeing and Tenten would support him with whatever problems he was having at home. Tenten confessed though that because she didn't have a family of her own, listening to someone else's was nice.
"What happened to your parents?" Neji questioned. A logical question to have, but Tenten was caught unprepared as she unsheathed a katana from her scroll. Looking down at it with a forlorn look in her eyes, she wondered if she should tell him. Neji had idolized his father, so could he sympathise with her? A girl who drove not only her father but also her mother away with her abominable admiration?
She didn't want to lose the only friend she had been able to make. But she couldn't lie to him, literally; Hyuugas can see a heart beat faster when someone lies.
So she was forced to tell him the truth. "They thought I was a monster." And she left it at that, a smile on her face as Neji opened his mouth to speak, right as Lee ran into the clearing challenging him to a fight. She beamed as Neji glared at her, promising to find out what she held behind her happy eyes as he grudgingly agreed to a spar.
After his fight with Naruto, Neji changed. And Tenten wasn't sure she liked that.
True he became kinder, more stable, and understanding, but could he relate with her anymore? All these years he confided in her his hatred towards the people who didn't understand him, and that was what Tenten thought the basis of their friendship was built upon.
Slowly, it shifted.
Neji was able to train with the man he had vowed to destroy, acting freer than he had ever been before. He became a mentor to his cousin, becoming more like her brother rather than her enemy. Tenten was genuinely happy for him, to find that peace he had been longing for. So what if it didn't involve her? She's been left behind plenty of times.
But he kept coming back.
Not frequently, but he would always try and make time to hang out with her even when not on missions. Sparring. Looking at new weapons. They even ate out together because Tenten didn't want to cook and she was hungry.
"I never knew you liked sesame dumplings," he noted as she had yet another plate of them. His gaze momentarily looked to her hair, amusement tugging at his lips. "It's suiting."
She giggled, licking her lips of any seeds. "A mere amalgamations of happenstance," she waved off with a wink. Her hair had always been a way to keep it out of her face, and it pleased her mother to at least keep some of her girlishness. She remembered eating sesame dumplings with her father as well, and suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore. Glumly, she told Neji, "I think I'm full."
He looked at her in confusion. Tenten found it odd, how he was willing to show his emotions so much now. People still called him an ice block (most notably Naruto) but to her it was like the ice had thawed and every swirling feeling he had could be seen like a raging current. She found it so weird because she was accustomed to masking how she really felt behind a smile.
"You usually eat a lot more," he noted. Tenten breathed in sharply.
"Are you calling me fat?" she asked huffily, covering up his accurate statement with shallow offense. Neji hurriedly worked to amend his potential insult, and paid for the meal despite her protests. Tenten was just happy that they could leave.
That night she felt like she had just dined with a stranger. Or maybe it was her who was the stranger.
Neji found his happiness, didn't he? Then why was he with her, smiling boyishly and engaging in her silly whims when he could be doing so much more. Tenten didn't envy him, she just wished she could have found peace with her ghosts as well.
She told Lee about it instead.
"I think Neji has always tried to revolve around you," Lee said as they tried to punch each other in the face. "When we first started, he was with you more. He didn't have any friends back then, so obviously you were his only choice. But now I think he wants to be with you just because you're a friend, not a lifeline."
Tenten frowned, aiming a kick to Lee's legs that he had to jump out of the way of. "What could he possibly gain from being with me?" Lee stared at her peculiarly as he blocked a roundhouse and grabbed her by the ankle.
"Because," he said as Tenten twisted herself free midair, "you may not be a lifeline anymore, but you're still very important to him." He successfully intercepted her, punching her in the gut hard enough to throw her back several feet. She coughed, but got up on her own. Lee would either have to punch harder than that (which he could) or she would have to stop getting used to being punched (which she wouldn't).
"Sorry, but I have to cut this training session short," Lee explained suddenly, saluting her diligently. "I promised Sakura I would help her unpack all of the new medical supplies at the hospital!" He ran off, the weariness of fighting for nearly four hours straight practically gone as he spoke of the pink-haired medic-nin.
Tenten sighed and sat by herself under a tree, sun dapples warming spots on her clothing as she spun a kunai on her finger. Neji being nice was not a ground-breaking phenomenon. But being nice to her out of the pure goodness of his heart? It was something Lee would do instead, such as what he was doing by helping Sakura. Neji obviously didn't see her as the object of his affections, but she had to wonder his motives sometimes.
To Tenten, she had picked the ninja life. She was a kunai, a useful tool to be thrown away should its edges dull too much or its owner found a better one. Being cherished not for her skills was something she wasn't used to, after trying so hard to be recognized for them. Did Neji not find her competent anymore, that he had to find an excuse to still call her a friend? Oh, there he was now.
"You appear down," he noted as soon as he saw her, a small box wrapped in intricate lavender paper tied with a white bow in his hand. "Has something happened?"
Tenten didn't feel like she should tell him what she was thinking, so she shrugged listlessly and offered, "It was Lee. He cut our training session to go help Sakura." Her voice tugged on the other girl's name, having always felt a little jealousy over her. Sakura seemed to just have it all: looks, strength, independence, and people who could love her for her incredibly healing abilities. She was a graceful naginata while Tenten was just a kunai.
Something seemed to storm in Neji's eyes as he delicately slipping the box into his pocket. "Oh," was all he said, pensive over something. Has Hiashi put Hinata down again, Tenten thought. That always got him angry. "So you like Lee?"
A rather odd question. Of course she did. "I have ever since the Chuunin exams," she said. "What's not to like?" He determination to still be a ninja had been one of the very few times she cried, overwhelmed by his courage and willing to take any risk to accomplish his dreams. He was an inspiration, and Tenten was really happy to see someone who was supposed to be a failure rise to such extraordinary levels.
"Oh," Neji repeated, not looking at her but overhead at the passing birds. Then, he said, "You know he likes Sakura. Only Sakura."
Tenten grumbled. Even if Sakura was everything a man could ask for, Lee should really try to go for a girl who wasn't obviously in love with someone else. He was such a good person to have his heart broken, but that's what you get when you fall in love Tenten surmised; it was not in the ninja code, but more like an unavoidable casualty. "Yeah," she agreed a little sadly, wondering if her dorky bowl cut-haired teammate will ever find someone good enough for him. "It's very discouraging."
At that, Neji briskly walked over to her, towering above as he pulled out the wrapped box again and handed it out to her. "Just know...," he said, his pale white eyes boring down into hers. He almost looked nervous despite how intimidating he was acting. "Just know, that I'm still here for you."
She was incredibly puzzled now, but nodded. "You've always been here," she said.
"Well, I'm telling you because I plan to be here for a long time," Neji elaborated cryptically, turning on his heel as he was custom to doing and walking off. His back was chorded, pulled taught by some imaginary strain.
Tenten sat by herself under the sun dapples, peering down at the gift. Peeling off the paper, feeling rather guilty if she were to tear its beauty, and gently pulling the ribbon as if moving too fast would ruin it, Tenten opened the box to reveal a beautifully crafted kunai. It was made for battle, but shone with inexplicable brilliance and sureness that it momentarily blinded Tenten as it reflected the sun at her.
A weight felt like it had been lifted from her chest as she beheld the gift. Neji was not good with words, despite being so apt at mission planning and giving orders, but what he had just told her spoke over a million little things. I care. I've never seen you as weak. Your abilities are astounding. I think you're pretty. You're my friend, can I be yours?
So many things he conveyed to her in that single kunai. Tenten felt like she was holding his heart as she put her own kunai down to twirl the new one on her finger.
It fit like a ring.
A/N: No update for two months on different stories. Suddenly a new one. I know I'm terrible with multi-chaptered things, so currently this one will remain a one-shot unless I get inspired again.
Just a sad little spin on Tenten's life, as well as how it could affect her later. I didn't think to put Neji there in the beginning, but he sorta feels so intertwined with her that it was hard to make her standalone. Plus, twisting the usual NejiTen story is always something fun.
Sorry for being inactive, but it was nice to write this up. Any weird-wording of grammar/spelling mistakes pointed out are much appreciated.