The One with the Next Season
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Disclaimer: I don't own Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, Chandler, or Mike. Marta Kauffman, David Crane, and Kevin S. Bright own them. But I do own Mr. Jeckles! (as if that was a GOOD thing)
Introduction: I've always wondered what Friends would be like if there was an 11th season. I've also wondered what it would be like if Rachel stayed in Paris. Here's MY version of the new season!
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The One Where Ross is Depressed
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OPENING SCENE
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Chandler and Monica have FINALLY finished unpacking, and they are relaxing in their living room.
"Well, we did it!" Monica said.
"Yeah, we're finally in this house…Took long enough," Chandler said, closing his eyes.
The couple was about to go to sleep, when they were awakened by the cries of the babies.
"It's your turn!" Chandler cried, sleepily.
"We have TWINS." Monica began. "We can't afford to take turns!"
She grabbed her husband and they went to the nursery. After ten minutes, they were back in the living room.
"You know," Chandler began, "Do you realize how much has changed in 10 years?"
"I know! I never would have thought that my brother would get married 3 times, or that I would be married to you!"
"Oh, I feel so special!" said Chandler, slumping in his chair.
"Come on, Chan!" Monica said, sitting next to him. "I just mean that after you called me fat that Thanksgiving, I didn't think I'd be with you."
Chandler was bored of this, so he changed the subject. "So how's Ross been doing?"
"He's still miserable. Since Rach left, he hasn't gone out of the apartment. We'd better do something to cheer him up."
"Yeah," Chandler said. "If he keeps this up, he'll never be happy and he'll never find his next wife!"
Monica punched him in the shoulder and laughed.
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OPENING CREDITS
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Starring
Jennifer Aniston
Courteney Cox Arquette
Lisa Kudrow
Matt LeBlanc
Matthew Perry
David Schwimmer
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EPISODE
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Rachel is in her apartment, reading papers about Louis Vuitton. There is a knock and she goes to answer it. A very familiar man appears.
"Mr. Heckles?" Rachel cried. The man looked just like Rachel's former neighbor in New York, who died.
"Excuse me?" the man said.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Rachel said. "It's just…I had a neighbor who looks just like you! His name was Jerry…Jerry Heckles."
"Jerry Heckles?" the man wondered. "I had a cousin named Jerry. He lived in New York and died in 1995."
"Hey, I think your cousin was my neighbor!" Rachel exclaimed, shaking his hand. "I'm Rachel Green."
"I'm Terry…Terry Jeckles."
"Jeckles?"
"Yes, it's ironic. But I'm not like him…" he paused. "But I COULD be like him."
He walked away, and Rachel realized that she had found a Heckles Clone.
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Monica and Chandler are at their house, with Phoebe and Joey. Monica has a clipboard and is pacing.
"Okay everyone!" Monica shouted in her already loud voice. "Operation: Make Ross Feel Better About Rachel Leaving is in order!"
"And so is Operation: Ignore Monica When She Gets Bossy and Controlly," Phoebe whispered to Joey.
Apparently, Monica didn't hear her and kept talking. "Ross has been moping for days over Rachel. We NEED to do something to cheer him up!"
"Why?" Phoebe asked.
"Why? What do you mean why?"
"Well, why do we have to make him feel better? It's not like he's asking us to!"
"Anyway, I've decided to have a dinner party," Monica said, pretending Phoebe had never spoken. "And I have assignments for each of you!"
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey stared at each other, when all of the sudden, the babies started crying.
"I'll go!" Chandler screamed, getting up.
"No, no! Let me do it!" Joey said, pushing him out of the way.
"Ladies first!" shrieked Phoebe, running into the nursery and closing the door. Joey and Chandler sulkily returned to Monica, who didn't even notice the frenzy.
"Now Joey," she began, "your job is to sneak into Ross's apartment and get his address book."
"And why would I do that?"
"First of all, you live closest to him. Besides we're going to invite all of his friends to the party and we need their numbers."
"Why?" Chandler began. "All of us are already here!"
Monica slapped him in the back of the head, as Phoebe came back out. "Phoebe, you're job is to provide entertainment!"
"That'll be easy!" Phoebe said. "I'll get my list of songs ready!"
Phoebe went to the kitchen to practice. Meanwhile, Chandler sat in front of Monica, waiting for his task.
"Oh yeah! You need a job…" Monica said, thinking. After a few seconds, she spoke up. "I've got it!"
"What?"
"You have the hardest task: Get Ross over here."
"Is there a plan B?"
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Meanwhile in Paris, Rachel is getting used to her apartment, when someone knocks.
Rachel opened the door and several people were outside. One of them was Mr. Jeckles.
"Mr. Jeckles?" Rachel screamed over the crowd. "What the hell is going on?"
"Your party!" the man replied, after blowing a party favor in her face.
"Whenever there's a new tenant, we throw a surprise party!"
Rachel just stared blankly at all of them for a minute. But then she got over herself and went with them.
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Back in New York, Ross is at his apartment, when there is a knock. Joey and Chandler are there.
"Hi…" Ross said in his usual voice when he was upset.
"Hey man, what's up?" Chandler asked as he and Joey came in.
"Nothing really," he replied as he plopped on his sofa.
"I'll be right back," Joey spoke up. "I'm going to…the bathroom…"
Joey winked to Chandler to let him know that he was going to get the address book. This gave him the perfect chance to convince Ross to come.
"So…" Chandler began. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"
"Not going on a date with you!" Ross replied, not even looking up.
Chandler just looked at him, and kept talking. "Anyway, Monica's having a housewarming party tomorrow night, and you're coming,"
"I am?"
"Yes."
"Who says?"
"Me."
"That doesn't scare me,"
"Does Monica?"
"Okay, I'll come."
Chandler relaxed at his surprisingly easy victory, when Joey came back with the book in his hand.
"Joey, why do you have my address book?" Ross asked, expecting a stupid lie.
"Well," Joey began, as he hung his head down, "there was a raccoon that just BURST into your room. And I said, 'Hey, that's Ross's!' and he said 'I don't care.'."
"And then I came and said, 'Let's get out of here!'" said Chandler, grabbing Joey by the arm and running out.
Ross just stood and stared at them. "They REALLY need to work on their plans."
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Rachel is talking to Monica and Phoebe on the phone.
"You guys would have no idea how interesting Paris is!" Rachel said.
"I can't believe we're apart!" Monica said.
"But, to make everything better," Phoebe began, "I've written a LOT of new songs! And I'll play them tonight at your party, Monica."
"What party?" Rachel said.
"Oh…" Monica said. She didn't want to mention Ross to Rachel yet, and she made a mental note to get Phoebe later. "It's just a housewarming party that we're having."
"No it isn't!" Phoebe spoke up. "It's a party to help…"
"—us!" Monica screamed. "It's to help us raise money!"
Rachel was about to speak when there was another knock on her door.
"Listen," she began, "someone's at the door. I'll talk to you later!"
"Bye Rach,"
"Bye! Keep your aura clean!"
"Bye guys," Rachel hung up the phone and went to the door. Mr. Jeckles was there.
"Oh hi, Mr. Jeckles," she said a little irritated. She had nothing against the man, but he was constantly around her.
"Hello," he said letting himself in. "Nice apartment."
"Thanks…" Rachel said a little scared. "How can I help you?"
"You have very nice things. I COULD have nice things."
"Okay…"
"You have a daughter?" Jeckles asked, looking at a picture of Emma.
"Yeah…her name is…Joan." Rachel said, not wanting to reveal her daughter's real name to that strange man.
"I COULD have a daughter."
"All you need now is a woman desperate enough to have one with you," Rachel thought. "Anyway sir," she asked again, "how can I help you today?"
"You can't. I have to go home and feed my daughter."
"You just said that you didn't have one." Rachel said.
"I COULD," he said monotonously and left.
Rachel waited for the man to leave, and then she went to the phone. "Hello, Main Office. I'd like to know if I could be transferred to a different room…"
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It is the night of the party. Monica is serving food, Joey and Chandler are staying away from the nerdy professors that Ross works with, and Mike is watching Phoebe sing.
CREEPY NERDS (to the tune of Smelly Cat):
Creepy nerds, creepy nerds,
Why won't you go away?
Creepy nerds, creepy nerds,
Who'll never get laid!
"Very creative, honey," Mike said, once Phoebe had finished.
"Thanks!" replied Phoebe happily. "I'll have my next set ready in five minutes!"
"Oh joy!" Mike said sarcastically, once Phoebe left. Meanwhile, Monica was fixing food in the kitchen.
"Hey Monica!" said Chandler, coming to her. "Where is Ross?"
"I just called him; he said he was almost here." Monica replied. "Why are you so worried anyway?"
"Joey and I are stuck here with a bunch of nerds!"
"No you're not. Mike's here!"
"Need I say more?"
"Chandler!" Monica screamed, after handing him a plate of refreshments. "At least take these out there."
Chandler cringed and slowly went back out. Soon Ross came in the door and went to Joey.
"Dude, why are there so many people here?"
Joey knew he couldn't lie, so he just ran away as fast as he could. Puzzled, Ross went to Monica as Phoebe began her next song.
NERDZ IN THE HOUSE (to the tune of Farmer in the Dell):
The nerds are in the house!
The nerds are in the house!
The creepy nerds who'll never get laid,
The nerds are in the house!
"Is she okay?" Ross asked Monica.
"I don't know. Until you came, she's been singing about how the guests can never have sex! That's so rude!"
"And for the majority, so true."
For the rest of that night, Phoebe kept singing songs about the sexless nerds, Joey and Chandler kept avoiding the sexless nerds, Monica kept trying to comfort the sexless nerds, and Ross DID have a good time and finally got over Rachel. How do I know this? Let's just say that one of the female sexless nerds isn't so sexless anymore!
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TAG
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Rachel is able to settle in her new apartment away from Mr. Jeckles. It is nighttime and she is in bed, when there is a knock.
"Good God!" Rachel screamed. "Who could that be this late?"
Rachel opened the door and saw her new neighbor.
"Hi," said the neighbor, "I'm Mr. Queckles."
Rachel slammed the door and screamed, running into her room to hide.
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There's my first episode! I hope you all liked it! Please review; I appreciate them all!
Here Are Some Episodes To Look Forward To:
The One With Rachel's First Day
The One Where They're Locked Out
The One With the Dinner