A/N: Hello, all. It is I, EiSeL, and I am reintroducing this fic. I had to take it off before, because I was scared of the creepy I'm-going-to-eat-your-account-if you-have-songfics people. Apparently, they're no longer existent. So, this story is back. If my account gets deleted, I will cry. A lot.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related stuff-a-bunch belong to Jo Rowling. The song "Whiskey Lullaby" belongs to Brad Paisley.
Enjoy and please review!
Whiskey Lullaby
It was the summer after 7th year at Hogwarts. School was over. Harry and Hermione had decided to stay the summer at the Burrow. Ron was sitting in his living room supposedly playing Wizard's Chess with Harry. However, he was too preoccupied with a certain someone sitting in armchair across from him. A chocolate brown curl fell in front of her face as she sat reading her book.
"Ron. Ron?" Harry poked Ron in the forehead.
Ron came out of his daze. "Huh?"
"You're in check," said Harry.
"Oh, right." Ron looked over the chessboard and sighed. "King to B2." Ron then directed his attention back to her. I swear she could be a Veela. No, she's better than a Veela- she's Hermione.
Harry watched as Ron's king slid a space over and his face lit up. "Queen to B3. CHECKMATE!" Harry started jumping up and down happily. Ginny, whose head was in Harry's lap because she had fallen asleep, fell into the floor. "YES! I FINALLY BEAT YOU!"
"Ow! Harry!" said Ginny from the floor.
Harry scooped her up in his arms and kissed her briefly before setting her back on his lap again. "Sorry."
Hermione looked up from her book and smiled. "It really took you 7 years to beat him?" Hermione bookmarked her book, got up, and plopped down beside Ron. "It's just Ron," she said as she shoved Ron playfully.
Ron crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll have you know that I am a very talented chess player."
"And I'm the Minister of Magic," she said sarcastically. Ron stuck his tongue out at her and then slumped back in the sofa. "I'm going to go for a walk. I'll be back in about half an hour." Hermione got up and walked out the back door.
Ron got up and followed her. Harry looked up. "Where're you going, mate?"
"I, um………… I got to…… I'm going to go with Hermione." He knew his face was red so he walked quickly over to the door. The door slammed shut.
Ginny looked up at Harry. "Well, at least he wasn't too obvious," she said as she started laughing.
Hermione was lying on the top of a grassy hill looking up at the stars. "Okay, that one's Pegasus. And there's Gemini. And that one's-"
"Leo." Hermione sat up and turned around to see Ron standing there. He walked over and sat down beside her. "Hi."
"Hey, Ron. I would have waited for you if you told me you wanted to come."
"I didn't decide to come until after you left. It's not your fault," he said as he picked at the grass.
Hermione giggled. "Wow. You're not being a prat." She reached over and held her hand to his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"
He shivered when he felt her skin against his. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Well, you're never voluntarily this effortless..." She pulled her hand away and set it on her chin, pretending to think. "Okay, want do you want?" she asked almost sarcastically.
Ron sat there, still looking completely absorbed in the grass below him. And then, without even looking up, he said something that made Hermione gape in shock. "You."
"I'm sorry. What?" She certainly hadn't been expecting that.
Ron pulled up a chunk of grass and flung it somewhere before he looked over to her. "I want you, Hermione."
Hermione sat up straight and started messing with her hands. A very long, very uncomfortable silence came between them. "No you don't."
"Yes I do. I want you more than anything in the world." He reached up and stroked her cheek. "I love you."
"You can't love me, Ron. We've known each other too long."
"Exactly. I've liked you since the end of first year and I even heard that you liked me back in 3rd year. And besides, you're beautiful, funny, nice, caring, brave, and not to mention, brilliant. I would have to be crazy not to love you."
"But that was then, and this is now. If I were to go out with you, it'd be like dating my brother."
"Well, what difference does it make? You liked me."
"Well, I don't like you now. It's been 4 years since then. If you wanted this as much as you claim you do, then you should have done something about it then." Hermione got up and started to walk the other way.
"Hermione, wait!"
Hermione spun around and looked at him. "What!"
"Don't leave me!"
Her eyes began to tear up. "It's too late, Ron. You had your chance." She wiped away the wetness from her cheeks. "I mean, really, Ron! How could you not have known? I gave you so many hints! Like that time in the forest when Hagrid first introduced us to Buckbeak and I grabbed your hand. Or what about when we went to Hogsmeade for the first time? I did some serious flirting! And when we came up from Hagrid's and were watching Buckbeak get executed, I held onto you for dear life! And when we climbed out of the Whomping Willow, I sat next to you and listened to you be a drama queen about you're leg! Why? Because I loved you, Ronald Weasley! I loved you with all I had and I was so, so hurt because I thought you didn't love me back! I had almost put that behind me but now you brought it all back!" Hermione's tears were coming full-speed and she wasn't doing a thing to stop them. She fell onto the ground and then, she said the unthinkable. "I hate you!"
Ron looked at her with a look of disbelief, shock, and brokenhearted-ness. He walked over to her to try to help her up. "You don't mean that…"
"Get away from me!" screamed Hermione as she stood up, pushed Ron out of the way, and ran back towards the Burrow.
Ron looked in her direction as he, too, began to cry. Then, he kicked ground and faced the sky. "DAMNIT!"
Hermione walked back into the Burrow and saw that Harry and Ginny were on the couch, still, and were talking and laughing and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Hermione plopped down in the armchair she had been in before, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes. Why now?
Soon, Harry and Ginny realized she was there. "Hey, 'Mione. Where's Ron?" asked Harry. Immediately after he said this, Hermione began bawling and ran up the stairs to Ginny's room. Harry looked at Ginny confusedly. "What'd I say?"
Ginny, who had a fairly good idea of what happened, got up. "Go find Ron before he does something stupid. I'll explain later." She leaned over, gave him a small kiss and followed Hermione up the stairs. When she reached her room, Ginny found Hermione in a heap on the floor. "Oh, Hermione…" Ginny walked over and held her friend in a comforting hug. "What happened?"
Hermione told her everything and was still crying as hard as ever. "And then- I told him- that- I –hated-him!"
Ginny, even though this was somewhat expected, was shocked. "Shh, it'll be okay. Everything's going to work out in the end."
"No it won't! I had almost forgotten about how much I used to like him!" She slumped over again. "And I told him I hated him! How awful is that!"
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
"C'mon, Ron. Where are you?" Harry walked down the road to try to find his friend. With only his wand as a light, he worked his way up the dirt road. Then, he saw a human-shaped thing sitting on the side of the road. "Ron!" A few empty bottles of firewhiskey sat by his side. "How many of these did you drink?"
"Not enough," he said as he took another swig.
"Ron, tell me what happened?"
Ron finished off the bottle and threw it onto the pile and it cracked. "She hates me."
"Who hates you?"
"Her-hermione."
"No she doesn't. That's nonsense."
"What the hell do you know! She told me that she fucking hates me!" Ron pulled the cork out of a fresh bottle.
"We got to get you home…"
"I'm not going back there! There's no reason to live!"
"Oh, cut the crap, Ron. You're going to hurt yourself."
"Good."
Harry pulled out his wand. "Ron, I'm really sorry about this but it's for your own good. Petrificus Totalus!" With that, Ron went stiff as a board. "Wingardium Leviosa!" Harry levitated Ron back to the Burrow and set him in his bed. "Finite Incantum! Sorry about that, Ron."
"Leave me alone," said Ron as he rolled over in his bed.
"Okay, goodnight." Harry shut the door to Ron's bedroom as he went out.
As soon as he was sure Harry had left, Ron reached under his bed and grabbed another bottle of firewhiskey. She hates me. She actually hates me… He took down the entire bottle with one gulp. He dropped it onto the floor beside his bed and stared up at the ceiling. I have no reason to live anymore. He rolled over again and reached into his beside table drawer for his wand and found a piece of crumpled faded parchment. He unfolded it and slowly read it. Tears came down his face. "Oh, fuck it."
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
Hermione stood adorned in black beneath the immobilized Whomping Willow. The warm summer breeze blew through her hair. A mound of freshly turned dirt lay in a pile on the ground. She looked down at the tombstone.
HERE LIES RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY
LOVING SON, BROTHER, AND FRIEND
1980-1997
She bowed her head and wiped away the tears. "I'm so sorry, Ron." She set a daisy onto the mound.
Ginny walked up behind her and set her arm around Hermione's shoulder. She, too, had been crying pretty hard. "Hey. You okay?"
Hermione tried to smile but failed horribly as the tears started coming down again. "No- it was my fault!"
Ginny sighed. "We've been through this before. He did it because he was drunk and lost control."
"Yeah, but he got drunk because of me."
"Stop trying to blame yourself. It's not your fault."
Hermione didn't feel like arguing. She felt sick actually. "I have to go. I'll see you later."
Ginny looked concerned. "Let me come with you."
"No." Hermione cast a remorseful eye at Ron's grave. "I need to be by myself," she choked. Hermione pulled out her wand and Disapparated.
Hermione appeared in a smoky room. She walked up to the counter and sat down.
The woman behind the counter came over. "Hermione? Hermione, dear, is that you?"
Hermione wiped away the remaining wetness in her eyes. "Hello, Madam Rosmerta."
"It's so good to see you! What can I get for you? A butterbeer?"
Hermione gulped but sucked it up. "I'd like a firewhiskey, please."
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
It had been a year since then. Hermione sat in the living room of her apartment. Books were scattered everywhere. Dirty laundry lay on the floor wherever it happened to land when she took it off. Life was not the way she had planned it to be.
She clutched a bottle of firewhiskey in her hand. Dark circles had formed under her bloodshot eyes. She brought the bottle to her mouth and swallowed a painful gulp. She hadn't been outside in days.
Just then, Hermione heard a knock at her door. She decided to ignore it at first but then she heard it again. "Hermione, open the door. I know you're in there."
Hermione sighed, closed the bottle, set it in a cabinet, and pulled a mint out of her purse. She walked over to the door and opened it to find Ginny standing there. "Yes?"
"Hermione, you've got to come out of this house. It's been days!" said Ginny as she walked past Hermione into her living room. "Look at this place! It's a pigsty!" Ginny leaned over and picked up Hermione's dirty clothes. She set them in a basket and then came back to Hermione. "And look at you. You look awful."
"Gee, thanks."
"Hermione, I mean it. You have been wasting away a little more every day since last summer."
Hermione winced. Last summer. The summer that Ron committed suicide. Because of me.
"Go get ready- we're going to go do something today."
"Like what?" Hermione asked somewhat annoyed.
"I don't know. Go shopping. Get something to eat. Go for a walk. I don't care- just something to get you out of your apartment!" Hermione sighed. "What happened to you, 'Mione?"
"I was responsible for Ron's death." Ginny opened her mouth to protest but Hermione cut her off. "Don't you even dare tell me I'm not because I know I am." Hermione's eyes began to water.
"Oh, don't cry," said Ginny as she went over and gave her a hug. Suddenly, Ginny stepped back. "Have you been drinking?"
"Leave me alone."
"No, I'm worried for you. I'm going to go get Harry." Ginny prepared to Apparate but Hermione grabbed her arm.
"No, you're not getting Harry. You're not getting anyone. You're just leaving."
"If I leave, promise me that you won't do anything stupid."
"Sure."
"'Sure' isn't going to work. I want a, 'Yes, Ginny. I promise that I won't do anything stupid'."
Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Ginny, I promise that I won't do anything stupid."
"And I'll be back tomorrow to make sure that you don't." Hermione nodded. "I'll see you later." Ginny Disapparated.
"Finally…" Hermione walked into her bedroom and sat down on her bed. She reached over onto the table and picked up a photo album. She looked at the cover. HOGWARTS: 1991-1997. She opened the book and saw a Harry, Ron, and herself standing inside the Great Hall waving- their first year. She smiled. That had been a great year. At the beginning of that year, she would have never guessed she would be friends with Harry or Ron.
She turned the page. She and Ron had turned around and were blinking like they had just stared into the sun- Colin took that one. That had been in second year, just before she had been petrified.
She turned the page again. Third year- wow. The clipping of the Weasley's in Egypt from The Daily Prophet was in there. Another one was of themselves in Hogsmeade. At first glance, you would think that it was just Ron and Hermione in the picture but every so often, Harry's head would appear out of thin air. Hermione had stuck a smaller picture of Crookshanks in the corner of the page.
She turned the page and laughed out loud. Harry and Ron looked like they were going into battle. They were at the World Quidditch Cup right before fourth year. On the same page was a picture of Harry and Ron who looked extremely annoyed. Yes, they were wearing the dress robes that they had been forced to wear to the Yule Ball. There was another picture with her and Viktor Krum but she didn't like that one too much.
She turned the next page to see Ron and herself beaming with pride. A shiny gold badge was pinned to both of their robes. They had been made prefects that year. Ron had carelessly slung his arm around her shoulder. There was another picture of Harry who looked annoyed.
She turned page and saw nothing on the next. This page had been reserved for 6th year, the year that the war took place.
Before the thought could sink into her head, she turned the page again. 7th year was great. No more death, no more worries, and no more Voldemort. They could just live their lives. She, Ron, and Harry were smiling in their graduation robes. Ginny was standing beside Harry and reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek every so often. She also had each of their individual pictures there too.
She picked out Ron's. He looked especially Ron-ish in this picture. His brilliant red hair was lying somewhat messily on the top of his head but it still looked nice. His piercing blue eyes looked like he was about to give you a hug and he had the same crooked smile that she had once loved.
Loved. She had loved him. She still loved him and she hadn't admitted that since she was 13 years old. She still loved him with all her heart and she was too stupid to see that before he died. Ron would have laughed at that. Her-too stupid.
She closed the album but still held Ron's picture. She lay back in her bed and closed her eyes. A tear fell down the side of her face. "I miss you so much."
She reached over, got a bottle of firewhiskey out, and finished it off. Hermione traced her finger down Ron's picture. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand. "I'm coming for you, Ron."
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby