A/N: I own nothing. Though this is the shortest part, this fic is intended to be a 5-part piece.
1.
Bonnie, Caroline and Elena commenced their monthly slumber party ritual analyzing the men in town, unaware that they provided entertainment for an audience of one, listening intently through Elena's open bedroom window.
"C'mon, Bonnie! Admit it, girl. Damon's hot. He gets you and every other female in this town going," Caroline teased.
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "He doesn't rock my world. He's just one more pretty face to see strolling around Mystic Falls."
"Yeah, he's highly attractive. But, as I've told Jenna along with every other woman within his vicinity, he's an ass," Elena confirmed.
Caroline sighed, wiggling her eyebrows saucily. "Quite the ass he has, though."
"Besides," the green-eyed witch declared, "He and his wayward member have been all over this town, laying out women, young and old."
"I wholeheartedly concur, Bon." Elena said, stroking a brush through her pin-straight dark locks. "It's better if we keep clear of him."
Bonnie scoffed. "As if I'd let him near me with all that oozing, snarky charm of his. He's lucky he's a supernatural, or he'd probably be oozing somewhere else, too."
The three contemplated her words for a brace of seconds, then simultaneously shuddered, uttering, "Ewww!"
Bonnie demurred to Elena, "You can keep your Stefan though. He's more sensitive and broody. You're like the Bella to his sparkle-prone Edward."
Elena mock-snarled at her companions. "It's NOT like that; we're having lots are naughty sex, so keep your chaste Twihard-happy fantasies to yourselves."
Bonnie and Caroline laughed out loudly at Elena's uncharacteristically ribald humor. Bonnie reigned in her cackling first declaring, "I'm all sorts of happy for your chandelier-swinging sex life and if you come across another similarly-situated vampire, give him my number. As for Damon, I'd never let him next to me…no matter the state of his ass or prowess in bed."
Caroline protested, "But Bonnie, since the memories of my um, unfortunate sabbatical with Damon have all pretty much come back to me, I'm going on record with saying that he's probably the best lay in the state."
"That my well be," Bonnie said. "But as the great poetess Sarah Jones said, Damon's revolution will not be happening between these thighs. Agreed?" she demanded, spearing her girlfriends with a pointed look.
"Noted." Caroline and Elena nodded in agreement.
Duly noted. The thought materialized in Damon's mind as his crow took to the air, streaking away from the house.
A/N 2: You want more? Let me hear about it.