Disclaimer - the only thing I own is the mind that spawned this fic.
Season - 8
Spoilers - Basically season 8
Pairing - S/J
Author's note - This story was written in attempt to help me deal with the loss of someone I barely knew and now I won't get the chance. He was a guy I knew in a forum I'm a member of and he died in a car crash last week. It was therapy for me and I hope you get some enjoyment from this little story. Please review.
Comrade in Arms
You're standing on the sidelines looking in. You feel her grief as if it were your own but you can't find the words to help. You can't do anything but continue to look on and wish that there was something, anything you could do to bring him back. But despite all you've seen, you know it's not possible. He's gone and nothing can change that. You wish you could go over there and give her a big hug but you hold back, it wouldn't be appropriate, not here. In this place you are CO and subordinate. Colleagues, perhaps even considered friends by some but nothing more. You can't be more, shouldn't be more, but you are. So much more. Despite your depth of feeling for her you still can't do anything to help.
Finally you down to her and simply hold her hand, they can talk if they want but you are going to give her this small comfort. She grips onto you like she'll never let go, and she doesn't for the longest time. You sit there looking down at the body of a father, a friend, a comrade in arms and you feel the tears break through your barriers. You're as lost as she and only the feel of her hand in yours keeps you grounded.
Eventually you have to move, the Tok'ra are there to take him away and you follow as they push him to the gate room. Your hand still firmly in hers, people who see you simply bow their heads or salute in respect to the man under the sheet, they don't even see you. You continue to hold her hand as you walk her to your office. You indicate for her to sit and you crouch down in front of her, hands tightly clasped. Looking into her eyes you see the watery film of tears she is keeping at bay and you break a little more.
Your free hand slides up her cheek and you feel her lean into your touch. You pull her head into your shoulder and slide your hand down to her waist. She leans into your neck and you feel the tears fall from her eyes you couldn't careless if the President himself walked in right now. You have the woman you love in your arms and all you can give her is a friendly hug. You wish you could do more but she's not yours to keep, she belongs to another. So you take comfort in the fact that you can be here for her now, at her most vulnerable.
Time seems to stand still, you have no idea how much time has passed with her in your arms. You feel her pull back and you catch her eyes and see that some of the old spark is back. She gives you a weak smile and you know that she's going to be fine, that she'll get through this.
She places her hand on your shoulder, her thumb gently caressing your neck,
"I have to go and see Pete."
Your heart stops in your chest at his name but your face betrays nothing.
"Of course. You need someone to be there for you."
She smiles at you again,
"I already have someone to do that, always. I need to tell him I can't marry him. He deserves the truth and I deserve to have everything I want."
Your heart begins to beat again as you absorb her words.
You feel the smile that slowly creeps across your face and watch her reaction to you. You grab her hand as she pulls you from the floor as she stands.
"Always Jack." She says as she releases your hand and leaves. She may have walked out of your office but she has just walked back into your life.
You know you shouldn't be feeling like this on such a day but the smile on your face shows the world how you feel. You're happy. After 8 years of up's and down's you are finally getting the girl, always.
You look to the Stargate, close your eyes and thank the comrade in arms that you lost today for giving you the best gift you could ever receive. His daughter. Always.
James 1984 - 2007