Title: Another Step Forward
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tezuka/Fuji
Word Count: 1670
Summary: (Sequel to Forsaken Future) Behind the doors of Fuji's dreams, comes a handful of consequences that he is not willing to face.
Another Step Forward
By: Blufox
Fuji put on another smile one last time before leaving his parents house. It has been seven years since he last saw Japan, and to say that he's contentedly happy with his short 2-week visit would be an obvious lie. Still, he did his best to put on a happy mask in order to hinder his parents from worrying. For all he knows, all his parents ever wanted was for him to stay with them and live life like how they wanted him to. Saying his last words of goodbye, Fuji waved back one last time before entering the cab.
Although everybody insisted that it was too early to head to the airport to catch his flight, and that they can drop him off instead of taking the cab, Fuji stubbornly declined their offers with an appreciative smile. He reasoned that it'd be harder for him to head back home if they'd stay longer with him. His family then dropped the topic off, as if resigning from the supposed-to-be heated argument; for that, Fuji felt grateful.
It wasn't like he was lying in the first place. The words he mouthed genuinely came from his heart, but everybody knew, especially him, that his actions were conceived for another reason. A reason that involves the person he once loved, and continuously shed his tears for. A reason that involves the man named Tezuka Kunimitsu.
As Fuji looked at the busy streets of Tokyo from inside the cab, a sense of nostalgia engulfed his being causing him to give in and release a number of sobs. With every familiar place he sees, he couldn't help but feel himself being trapped in the world he had been longing to explore for the past seven years. And for every memory he remembers from the site of the placed he once called home, he could feel his chest becoming heavier and his breathing harsher, causing endless tears to fall from his eyes.
He could have sworn that he saw a trace of worry coming from the facial expression of the driver of his cab; he, however, ignored it, knowing that no matter how much time he'd spare to explain his stand, no one would understand him. He need not hide the truth that he had been pained for being viewed as a coward and a selfish bastard, but he ate all his pride and did his best not to look back, knowing that it was the right thing to do; the best way for him to grow.
And indeed, Fuji has proven himself right when he received a couple of news about Tezuka's success in the business industry. Known to be one of the best businessman figures in Japan, Fuji couldn't help but feel proud and accomplished. No matter how many tears he cried for Tezuka's warmth and affection, he did his best to stay as a shadow, and hide behind the light, knowing that any simple mistake he'd make, can lead Tezuka back to the life they had when they were together—a life with bounded limits and deprivation.
As Fuji took another glance at the view from outside his window, he began to feel his heart pounding in a harsh beat and power. And as he handed the money to pay for his fare and set his feet on the ground, he could feel his knees weaken and wobble in a manner that he couldn't care to explain. Lifting his eyes from the bags on his hand, Fuji can see the apartment he resided in for 6 years. All the memories from the day the first turned the knob and entered their shared flat, to the day he closed the door one last time, started to flood in his mind.
He didn't know why, he didn't know how, but as soon as he regained consciousness from his trance, Fuji found himself standing in front of the said door, staring at it for only God knows how long.
He knew that Tezuka would no longer be in that place. He knew that by now, being the successful business icon that he is, he would be staying in a luxurious house with his wife and children, merrily eating dinner together every night. He knew that no matter how long he stayed in front of the door, the knob will never turn itself, and give him the fantasy of locking his blue eyes with the chocolate eyes of the person he loved the most. He knew that much; however, no matter how hard he tried to lift his feet up, his body resisted with great force.
From the floor beneath him, he could hear the loud cuckoo clock making indication of the time.
It's ten o'clock, came the silent note that he made in his mind. If things were the same as it were seven years ago, any second from now, Tezuka would be opening the knob, heading off to work. If things were the same as it were seven years ago, Fuji would be standing on the other side of the door, giving Tezuka a goodbye kiss for a good luck wish at work. If things were the same as it were seven years ago, Fuji wouldn't be staring deadly at the door, with endless tears flowing from his eyes. But sadly, seven years had long passed, and yesterday is no longer similar from today.
For any other person, seven years may seem to be a long span of time. In seven years, one can promoted from being a cubicle employee to a team leader. In seven years, many people are born, and many people can die. In seven years, one can move on and completely forget about the past, as if it were a tragic nightmare. But for Fuji Syuusuke, seven years is no different from a blink of an eye.
Because in the past seven years he stayed in America, Fuji never once attempted to move on, nor do anything to make him forget about his past. For the past seven years, Fuji did nothing but cry himself to tears for every single night he spent in his bed alone. For the past seven years, Fuji lived his life in a place where he locked and shielded himself from any form of contact or affection from anyone. For the past seven years, Fuji continued to love Tezuka without faltering, and if possible, even more than before.
It wasn't much of a choice for Fuji when he started picking up his bags on the floor, while dragging his feet for movement. This place, this universe, is no longer his home; America is where he is supposed to be in right now. His plane is waiting for him at the airport, the only thing left for him to do is to leave this place, and remain brave like how he lived his life for the past seven years.
No, he wouldn't be extending his stay in Japan. No, he wouldn't do any research to search for Tezuka. No, he wouldn't sacrifice Tezuka's future for his happiness. He once did a selfish decision, for Tezuka's betterment in life; there is no way he'd do anything to ruin the life he granted Tezuka to have.
It took all the strength he had not to touch the door knob of the flat they once shared. It took all the strength he had to walk out from the site of his fairytale. It took all the strength he had to keep on moving regardless the pain he felt in his chest. But it seemed like he wasn't as strong as he wanted to be.
The moment he heard the sound of the door opening, Fuji couldn't help but face the door once again, only to see Tezuka Kunimitsu standing outside of it, with a shocked expression equaling his. He didn't know how long they stared at each other, or how much of a fool he looked like when he fell on his knees as he cried. He didn't even hear the sound of his phone ringing and footsteps gradually coming towards his way. All he knew was that Tezuka's arms were wrapped around him, in the manner that haunted him for seven years. It was all that he knew, and all that he cared to understand.
But as reality snapped out of him, he was certain that it was time for him to let go. He didn't sacrifice everything just to fall back to base one. He didn't cry for endless nights, just to sleep merrily for the rest of his life. He didn't love Tezuka, to deprive him of his bright future.
Tezuka deserved much better. Tezuka is too good for him. Tezuka shouldn't be hugging him right now while mouthing words of apology as he drew circles on his back to soothe him. And above all, Tezuka shouldn't be staying in that same shabby apartment at all. He should be in the luxurious home, Fuji envisioned him to be in. He should have married a lovely wife who gave birth to their adorable children. He should be a stable, happy, family man by now. He isn't supposed to be there, just as Fuji isn't.
Right now, Fuji should be inside another cab, sitting with an unknown driver, heading towards the airport. Right now, Fuji should be readying his ticket and passport, while resting inside that said cab. Right now, Fuji should be heading home—his home.
But everything that should happen was defied by what was happening right now. And as Fuji gave in and finally wrapped his arms around Tezuka's back, a soft whisper was blown in his ear, which made him genuinely smile, something he hadn't done for a long time.
A whisper of a simple Japanese word that meant more than millions of fortune to him.
A whisper of a simple Japanese word that meant welcome home—and it was all Tezuka had to say in order to make Fuji falter, and give in to what he really wanted.
Okaeri, Syuusuke.
FIN.
A/N: Due to the requests, I finally made a sequel. I tried making one for Fuji's birthday (which sadly, didn't exist this year) but obviously failed in doing so. I hope that making this sequel isn't as much failure as making it on time.
Reviews are warmly accepted. :)