For YellowBrickQueen! Took me a while and it's kind of short anyway, but here it is!
Tiny giggles and tiny hands are all she knows. She simply cannot remember a time before now. She simply cannot remember if she had been happier.
She had been so reluctant to go to the hospital. She had seen nothing wrong with a homebirth. However, Massimo had insisted. And it had been a good thing. Their baby had been born safely and is now being taken care of by two people who couldn't be prouder parents to a being who hasn't done much of anything yet.
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The cries and midnight feedings are all she knows. And she supposes she doesn't mind. Does she get irritated? Yes, she does.
But it's all right. She will gladly stay awake for three days straight if that is what her baby needs her to do.
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Teething and bottles are all she knows. Who knew such a little thing could be so hungry all of the time? And the pained cries are so heartbreaking to hear; loud wails flowing from a tiny baby as little white teeth cut gums to come through.
She assures her baby that the pain will be forgotten and that it is all worth it. Her baby just doesn't understand yet. But her baby will. And she knows that someday her baby would be crying over more than just teeth coming in.
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First words and first steps are all she knows. The first word is "Ma" of course, and she can't be happier about that. Massimo is proud as well.
He boasts that their child will be special and very smart, for their baby will learn Italian, German, and English. Their child will impress everyone he tells her excitedly and she smiles in agreement. And as their child toddles unsteadily towards Massimo, both parents are overwhelmed with excitement. The life they created is growing up.
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Scrapes and bedtime stories are all she knows. Her little wild child runs about and falls down. It's a cycle and she is familiar with the rotation of that cycle. First the begging to go outside. Then the running. Then the falling down. Then the cries will come and pleas for Mutti; for mommy. And she comes to her darling angel and gives kisses that whisk away the pain.
And every night is the request for bedtime stories. She tells the stories from her childhood. She tells stories of a peasant who becomes a princess and then meets her prince and they have a child together. Massimo stands in the doorway whenever she tells stories, listening to her voice bringing the words to life; the life they lived.
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Elsa wakes up. It had just been a dream. It always was just a dream. It feels so real. But she should know better by now. She does not have a baby. Massimo is not by her side.
Perhaps today she'll take a trip and visit his grave and tell him her dream of their child. She knows that if he were alive, he would like to hear those dreams. He would like to make those dreams come true. Without him though, she has only achieved her dream of stardom, leaving the freak show behind.
Autographs and photo ops are all she knows.
Red carpets and flashing lights are all she knows.
Tabloids and movies and interviews and commercials and constant invasion of privacy and rumors and feeling like absolute sheiße is all she knows.
A life without Massimo and a child is all she knows.