Dear Readers/Fans/Friends of Mine,
I apologize dearly for the lack of updating I have been doing, even though I have recently updated Miharu's Fate and Pandemic. I've had a lot to deal with the past month, some familial issues that have involved a few finance and medical issues. Due to the current situation I've had to take the roll of the adult in my house and things have gotten very hard to me to manage to keep up with my writing. Between balancing helping out my family and getting the banking back to its original status it's been a bit hard on me.
Along with getting issues together with my school and my younger sister's school so she's ready for next year has also been another issues that I've had to deal with personally because of my father's current condition and due to his temporary immobility. I've been out a lot these past few weeks just dealing with miscellaneous things such as grocery shopping and paying the bills in my father's place and doing some repair work.
Things that have gotten a bit more advanced for the time being have also intruded into my normal schedule. I am part of a Gaming/Comic company and I am in charge for the artwork, which does take a very long time to do for all of the panels, other job placements have been put in for my spot due to the fact of other members not quite fulfilling their quotas so I've been packed down with doing the work for these projects for the past week and I'm honestly drained from it, but after working on this for the years we've been doing it. The Story is mostly done and now the actual graphic and comic work is being put into play and that it's self is enough to make me happy. Though very stressful it is something that is making me happy.
Emotional problems have been occurring for me as well; with the stress of all of these things happening at once is causing major problems, things like headaches and fevers, chills and slight cold like symptoms have been happening to me and a bit of Severe Medical problems on my part as well. It's been worrying me gravely and I haven't really had the time to get it checked out professionally so I'm waiting til it bypasses. Attending to my dad with his bad injuries has been a very troublesome issue. With his jaw out of place and cracked it's hard for him to eat so Cooking has become more of a thing I've had to do as well.
Not just with my family but my friends as well, we've had a bit of a fallout a few days ago and it's impacted all of us in some sort of way or form and it's been a big pain on me. Things like this bring me down and make it hard for me to write.
Also, a lot of my friend's birthday is this month so I am busy making tons of gifts for them which I really don't like to 50% do. So they will be done thoroughly meaning that more time is being taken out of my Schedule to do them. If you're wondering if any stories for their birthdays are going to be posted its not. I usually do Art gifts for presents because I feel more confident in that than writing a story.
Not all things that are happening to me are bad though, but it is taking up more of my time as well, recently I got called back from my Employer about a Medical field job position. But because I am only fifteen I have to go through the training course before I can do anything but I will still be getting paid for doing so. So I have to do several amounts of paperwork to even be eligible for the position which I surprisingly got done this day. But also more when I get to my Job Location. So the job is already secure, but I start Monday and it's ranging for 4-6 hours. Depending if I need to stay longer for any other things that need to be done, with that said, and recent discussion with my Father, he has said he will try to get a Gaming Computer, one bought and one surely built up by him his self when he feels better. So I can put it back into the thoughts of you that I will be able to play Elsword again soon. With the Paycheck I get after my Job is over for the summer. Summing up to 800 Dollars plus a bonus do to some extra paperwork I done. I shall be looking to get around 1000 bucks for my job overall which is more than enough to help with the cost of a new computer and components, or to help out regardless.
With all of these expenses said. I will be looking to buy a Art Tablet as well to expand on my Artwork, Do to recent demand I will be doing Artwork and getting down payment through through Commissions. So Extra Money will be coming in. So I will be occupied with my Art more than my writing this summer.
But, with Professional things said, there have been some trivial issues of why I feel I shouldn't be Writing for the time being at least, a few arguments that have dispersed and my ways of writing feel, slightly down put and it hurts to even think about how something I have a passion for is belittled and absolutely poured on for such small reasons. It's like telling an Artist His/Her work is crap after they spent 20 hours working on it. Which I have done. In fact, I have spent over 72 Hours working on one piece of artwork, luckily though I only got positive feedback. Some may say you shouldn't let the criticism get to you but in all honesty, if you want to prove yourself and make yourself a better Writer you have to listen to that criticism so you can't help but look. But when the remarks are of something that degrades how you depict your story that is what hurts the most.
And that has been what has been happening to me.
I know you guys who LOVE my stories are DEEPLY disappointed by this but I don't like to let people down but I can't put my heart and soul into a Writing unless I feel in a Heart-filled and Soul-litten mood. I wish to give you guys the best quality of writing that I can put out for you guys and nothing less. I enjoy my writing and when you guys praise me and tell me how much you love my stories, the development of the characters, to the point of the small tiny bit of interaction to the major fight scenes and plot twisting moments. That means the world to me. It's like a Mother and/or Father to their child. They don't want to let them down. Whether is comes to writing stories of Deep Angst with heart-touching moments that leaves you in tears, the Mysteries that gives you the Jump Scare of a Silent hill game. The action packed and heart racing and moving moments of a Action or Adventure Story, or the moving and sweet moments of a Friendship story, to the very Fluff parts of a Romance story, or the deep lust that a couple feels in the heat after they bypass certain stages. I don't give limitations, or my stories wouldn't feel complete, I write to the fullest extent to things that would happen in Real life, I like to keep my stories true to life so you can imagine yourself in that position and it's all that much better for your enjoyment.
Again, with this said I deeply apologize for my lack of motivation, but I will try to work on more of my stories when I can and when the putting down of not just me, but people in general of how they depict their stories, To the very Lusty parts to the Very Gore and Heart-breaking moments. GREAT Authors I know out there have been looked down on because this is their favorite genre of writing, but their motivation is killed when that down put is put out there.
All in all this is what I had to say and I felt like doing this instead of keeping you guys in the dark about my progress of things and instead of telling every single person the same story over and over again.
With all this said, I would like you guys to write a Review of how you feel about my statement, and/or which story you would like me to continue on once I get back into the mood for writing.
Sincerely…and Love you all,
Miharu Aria Scarlet Kokoro
