Loki loved Thor. . . but not in the brotherly way he was suppose to, no. Loki loved Thor in the way that Odin loved Frigg and that was wrong. Loki knew it was wrong, he'd beat himself up over it countless times. Every time Loki seemed to think of a plan to make Thor hate him it would backfire in his face. Take his plan to take over Midgard, Loki didn't actually want that disgusting place but he knew that Jane was there and he knew that Thor loved Jane and that place so if Loki destroyed it Thor would have no choice but to hate him. But of course things worked out their own way and that way was rarely Loki's. So here Loki was, sat beside his brother in his cell with the muzzle on to prevent Loki from what he wasn't sure of. Probably manipulating Thor because even without his mouth Loki could cast his spells. Loki was glad for the muzzle, he didn't trust his tongue right now and the look Thor was giving him was enough to break his heart and he knew apologize would spill from his tongue as easily as the blood he had spilled on Midgard.
"I do no understand you, brother. How did you let so much hatred consume you? You don't even seem to be fighting for a purpose anymore, just blood and power."
"Of course you'd think that. If you knew the real reasons I do what do, if you could feel the way I feel, you'd do exactly what I've done. Before Odin banished you to Midgard you were like me and now you don't understand it? Do not fool yourself."
Loki just stared at the ground thinking his replies back to Thor knowing they would go unheard. It helped though, Loki had screamed at Thor that he loved him, that he was sick and wrong and he was sorry but he couldn't stop himself from loving him. Loki would scream and ask Thor why he liked Jane so much and what she had that he didn't, he'd scream at Thor that he hated her and Midgard and that he wished he could hate him too. Loki would tell Thor all his thoughts and feelings until tears would pour out of his eyes and Thor would think his words were what had caused Loki to cry and not Loki's own mind.
Loki knew his punishment was light but he didn't expect anything more or less from Odin. Loki could spend the next 50 years alone in this cell with ease. Thor was still allowed to visit Loki as often as he wanted and really, Loki had spent a very long time in a prison of his own so the cell was rather fitting. Loki would do nothing but think for hours at a time. Think about all that he had, all that could have been and all that he lost, he'd think about what would happen if he told Thor the truth, he'd envision the look of disgusted on Thor's face and he could hear Thor screaming at him that he was wrong and Thor would never love someone as rotten as Loki and Thor would leave and Loki would never see Thor again. Loki could do 50 years in this cell alone with ease because he knew that every other day Thor would come in and speak to him for hours. It was bitter sweet and the more Thor came the more Loki would hate himself and love Thor.
"Do you remember when we were younger? You'd always worry about me when I went to hunt with father. You'd worry that something would hurt me and that you weren't there to heal the wound. You told me when you heard Odin was back, you'd hold your breath until you heard my name mentioned as well. You were worried about an animal attacking me and yet here we are years later, you doing exactly what you were once worried a create would do."
Thor stared at Loki with tears in his eyes, he hated this situation and everything about it. Seeing not just his brother but his best friend as well sat on a stone bed, muzzle and torn clothes the only possessions Loki had now broke his heart. Where, when and how did everything get this bad? Had there been signs Thor was unaware of? Thor had gone back through his memories searching for a sign that Loki would turn into this but there was nothing. Thor knew his brother was a great liar, he knew that Loki could hide anything he wanted to and he feared that the Loki that destroyed Midgard was how his brother always was and that the Loki he had grown to Loki was just a false image to please his family. Thor stood up fast, the idea enough to make him feel ill. "When you are ready to tell me what has caused all this I'll have them remove your muzzle." Loki watched as Thor left his cell almost in bad a shape as he was in right now. "You're killing him, Loki. You're not suppose to hurt the ones you love like this." Loki shook his head and laid down, trying to turn his mind on something else.