A warning: I have never watched Gundam 00. This is a gift fic for my good friend sushidei, and she says they are in character. I apologize for any OOC-ness that may occur. I also apologize for shortness…I swear, my fics just get shorter and shorter. Wait. They were never long. XP Ramble done. On with the fic.
Alone, Again, Without You
Allelujah slammed his head against the wall from his position on the floor, where he'd been sitting for hours. Hours of nothing. Empty hours. There really wasn't a point since Lockon had died. He still remembered that moment with perfect clarity, even though he had tried endless times to block it from his mind. Everything he had felt from that moment on had led him to one conclusion. He'd loved Lockon. More than the brotherly way he'd always passed it off as. If only he'd know that sooner.
He could've said something. Anything. It would have gotten rid of all the words that bubbled up inside him no. Words that had nowhere to go. Conversations that had never, would never, happen rang constantly in his head. But, then, before he'd know what would happen, would he had said anything, or would he have been too ashamed? Nervous? Even scared?
Allelujah hit his head against the wall again. It was the best way to jerk himself out of his misery. Misery he had to hide, out of his duty to Marie.
He didn't love her, not really. Not the way he had loved Lockon. It was his duty to take care of her. She couldn't really take care of herself, that much was obvious. And it made sense, with all the time she'd spent in that place. And after all the misery she'd experienced there she deserved some happiness. There was no one else to give it to her, so he did. She seemed happy to be his girlfriend. Girlfriend.
Lockon had always said that. "Get yourself a girlfriend, Allelujah," he'd laugh. It was something they'd laugh about together. But now he did have a girlfriend. And it wasn't that great. He'd give her up anytime jut so have Lockon back. Even for just five minutes. Just to tell him how he felt.
Allelujah hit his head against the wall for the third time. He was wallowing. Again. He stood up. He needed to get out of here. To do something else, to forger about it for as long as he could.
"Allelujah! Is everything alright? I heard a loud noise!" Marie said, sticking her head around the door.
Is everything alright? What a ridiculous question. How could anything be alright. But he couldn't tell her that. Having her know he loved someone else would only make her unhappy. "Yep, I'm fine," he lied, looking at the ceiling, refusing to meet her eyes. By the time he looked back at where she had been, she was already gone. And he was alone. Again.
What did you think? I need reviews on this one, so I know if I'm doing okay for future Audrey Gundam requests. I know there will be more…so many more