'I'll just find a girlfriend,'
He'd tell himself, struggling to deny his own feelings. It was always the same, every time, every minute he was with her. No matter when or where, he couldn't escape it…this thing he felt. What was it? He'd admit he was scared; scared to give it a name. Such a label would only make it that much more real, wouldn't it? Hesitantly, he tested the thought- he couldn't help it.
Could it be…that he was in love?

He took a long drag from his cigarette as the word echoed over and over in his head. As it did, to Shizuo's dismay, it both chilled and sobered the man. That was it- Shizuo Heiwajima was in love. Wisps of smoke drift fresh in the air, and he watches as it gradually begins to fade, not saying a word.

Still, the woman in front of him stood there, her mystical, shadowy presence igniting the awe of those around them. She couldn't sense his discomfort- could she? No, of course not. She wasn't a psychic. She was however, a dullahan- he could only assume that the two didn't relate.

[Shizuo…? Are you alright?]

…Perhaps he was wrong.
Or maybe, he was more transparent than he thought. Then again, she…she was perceptive, intelligent, patient- if anyone could pick up on his emotions, it was her. Yes- she was the headless enigma he's known for years; his friend. They were close, but not close enough, never close enough. And he'd stood by and watched as she fell for the unlicensed doctor he'd gone to school with- but what could he have done? Nothing, nothing he had ever had the courage to do. Now they were stuck, regardless of this feeling that had found a place in his heart.

He nods listlessly, a faint smile ghosting over his lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Celty shrugged, her slender, lithe fingers tapping gracefully once more on her PDA.

[You just looked a bit-] She backspaces frantically-

[You looked kind of-] Delete delete delete-

[I'm not sure how to put it. Your eyes were somewhere else.]
Even as his chest tightens painfully, he awaits the next message from her PDA.

[Could it be that you're upset about last night? Or maybe you're tired from fighting…]
The way she worried was endearing- it tore him apart.

It was true…last night had been eventful to say the least, but more than that it was invigorating. He only vaguely understood the situation, but the opportunity had finally come for him to let himself go- and he couldn't pass it up.
He released his full strength upon the hordes of Saika's possessed, thriving on the evidence of his own power.

[That must be it! See, you're scratched and cut all over…why didn't you go to Shinra?]
Celty scolded herself for only noticing his injuries now- it seemed he was always banged up to some degree, but the slashes across his face were quite clear.

Shizuo laughed, his cigarette soon finding his mouth. He inhaled slowly, exhaled, and gave a more genuine smirk.

"Tch, this? This is nothing. I couldn't feel shit- still can't. I don't need any fixing, so I didn't go."

Celty lowered her helmet in shame for underestimating her friend. It wasn't that she thought he was easy to damage, but rather, was afraid of the damage he might take, and how that would affect his body.

[You're right, I apologize. Just checking- after all, Shinra's been a little less busy lately.]

She took a step closer towards Shizuo, placing her hands on his broad shoulders.
But Shizuo couldn't face her. It was that name again…Shinra, Shinra, Shinra. If he could feel pain like others, he would have likened it to a stab in the chest- but he didn't feel physical pain in that way- only his emotional pain remained unchanged. He began to feel a rage building up inside of him, but he focused on Celty's touch…the feel of her small hands on him, and he managed to fight it back down.

Celty's helmet tilted to the side in her curiosity- Shizuo wasn't acting like himself. She straightened suddenly, hit with an idea to cheer him up.

Her typing was calming…it reminded him of the woman he was with.

[Let's get something sweet. I know a store nearby. My treat.]

-

'Her treat, huh?'
Shizuo's eyes softened. That's right…she knew of his love for sweet foods, and his dislike for the bitter. It wasn't often that they had the time to head to a store, and he decided against risking the moment.

"You sure? I just got my paycheck."

Celty clasped her hands together happily.

[Even better reason to celebrate! I'm sure, so follow me.]

Her motorcycle was uncharacteristically silent until now, and both Shizuo and Celty were surprised as it nickered softly. Celty didn't waste a second in reassuring her Coiste Bodhar.

'Don't worry, we'll be back soon. If anything happens while we're gone, please go to Shinra's.'

Shooter neighed understandingly before quieting once more, and Shizuo blinked. With a wave of her hand, the dullahan strode leisurely past the blonde man as he took a final drag from his spent cigarette before crushing it into the pavement. He followed Celty at his own pace, hands in his pockets as his mind wandered briefly.

As he walked his fingers brushed against something smooth, and he remembered- they were the gloves that Celty had made for him just the night before. Shizuo smiled, reveling in the texture. They felt as durable as ever, and slightly cool to the touch. The thoughtful gift brought a tinge of pink to his cheeks.

The headless woman looked back once to make sure Shizuo was keeping up, and he winked at her from behind his sunglasses, earning himself a puff of smoke that escaped Celty's helmet to swirl around her.

Moments like these Shizuo cherished more than anything else. He knew he got lonely every now and then, but there was so much more to it than that- because he was never lonely when she was around, because with Celty, he could forget the world and all that came with it. He didn't have to worry about being judged or getting fired, about hurting anyone, about scaring others or killing Izaya- not about holding back as not to overdo it- no, none of that mattered around her.
He didn't know how much longer he could keep up the act; if he could continue to seem unaffected by her presence, by the way she moved, by the things she communicated to him. To stay this way was a harrowing proposal, yet he feared doing anything else.

Was he trapped? Heiwajima Shizuo could rip apart any cage or binding, could smash any wall and decimate any fence. So then, why was he so helpless when it came to her? When it came to his feelings?

The strongest man in Ikebukuro felt the need for another smoke.

-

The shop was small, located on a lonely street corner. In large, bold, pink lettering, the
sign above them read 'BAKERY', and despite himself, Shizuo's mouth watered. It was empty when they ambled inside - the bell on the door chimed loudly as they entered, Shizuo following closely behind his companion. There was a large man behind the glass display case, boasting cakes, cookies, and other colorful baked goods of all shapes and sizes. The baker removed his chef's hat, lowered his head, and warmly threw open his arms.

"Ah, Celty! You've brought a friend! Please, please, take a look- we have muffins fresh from the oven this morning, help yourselves!"

Celty turned to her bartender suit-clad friend, but he shook his head, his eyes bright like a child's. His smile wavered now, but it didn't fool the dullahan- she knew that Shizuo could barely contain his excitement. Her PDA appeared in a gust of shadow from her sleeve, and she began to type away.

[What would you like? You can choose anything, you know.]

Shizuo reached up to remove his glasses, folding them carefully and sticking them in his back pocket.

"Ah, thanks…maybe…"

He eyed a small frosted cake, decorated with conversation hearts around the edges.

"This? If you don't mind."

He blushed, and Celty nodded sharply, wary not to let her helmet fall off.

She typed another message, this time showing it to the chef- he chuckled heartily before pulling on a pair of oven mitts (Celty assumed this was for sanitation purposes, as the cake didn't appear to be hot), and slid the cake out, tray and all.

"Will that be all…?"
The chef asked jubilantly, placing the cake in a cardboard box of the same size.

Celty nodded once more, readying her wallet.

"How about I give you a discount for bringing a new customer, huh? Four-hundred yen, please!"

The woman wasted no time in bowing hysterically, surprised by the baker's kind offer.

[Thank you!]

Quickly, the dullahan exchanged the money for the cake, and handed it to Shizuo, who smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, come again!"

As the pleasant chef waved to the pair on their way out, Celty returned the favor, but Shizuo was far too fixated on the box in his hands- it took all he had not to tear into it and devour the cake, right then and there. But he was withher, and knew he'd regret acting like an animal in her presence sooner or later.

-

Throughout the short walk back, this time it wasn't only Shizuo's mind that wandered- Celty lead the way once again, and his eyes found the curvy shape of the dullahan just ahead.
He found it impossible not to glance at her perfectly rounded bottom, the swell of her hips, those beautiful long legs, all covered by her form-fitting shadows. He wondered what it'd be like to touch her, more than a slap on the back or a playful punch. No, he wanted something intimate, deep…he wanted to feel her.

In an effort to distract himself, Shizuo opened the box to his frosted treat, plunging a finger into the icing and bringing it up to his waiting mouth. He licked- almost sensually- until every bit was gone, and then did it all over again.

Would Celty taste sweet like this? Surely she wouldn't be bitter- even her scent was lovely, the smoke from her neck refreshing when he'd breathe it in. It was pure, unlike the smoke of his cigarettes- if he could, he'd breathe her in every hour of the day. She was so…addicting, in her very own way, and Shizuo loved it.

The excited whinnying of Celty's bike brought him back to Earth, and he realized that they had returned. His heart clenched at the meaning- they were about to part. Turning to face her powerful ally, Celty's PDA made an appearance once again, and Shizuo bit his bottom lip in nervous anticipation. He cursed himself when he drew blood, and suddenly the dullahan was in a frenzy.

[A-Are you alright? What happened?]

"Celty, relax! I'm fine, really. Seriously."

[…A-Alright. Um, well I hope you enjoy your treat. And-]
Mentally, Shizuo laughed. Who types 'um', really? How cute.

"Hmm…?"

[And please, feel better!]

He was unprepared for the impact of Celty running into him, wrapping her arms around his torso, her helmet slamming against his chest. It took Shizuo a minute to register the contact, but as soon as he did, he passionately hugged her back, encircling her tiny waist. He tried his best not to crush her, his large hands gripping her sides. This feeling…it was both blissful and a world of pain. He was sure it would kill him.

-

This day was the shortest he's had in a long time- and he knew exactly why. It was his time with Celty that stood out, most vivid in his mind. Even after the burdens of work and chasing Izaya out of Ikebukuro, Shizuo was able to unwind only after remembering the way it had felt to hold her.
He sat languidly against the white walls of his apartment, thinking back on it. His body suddenly grew hot, and he struggled to ignore his urges.

The cake…shit, he'd eaten the cake. It was long gone by now- but he could still recall the sugary sweetness of the icing, the way he'd licked it off of his fingers like a hungry dog.

'But I'm nothing more than a dog, anyway…'

Laughing darkly, the tall blonde gave up once more on holding back. Thinking of Celty at a time like this…it both disgusted and aroused him at the same time. He imagining licking her, tasting her, having her squirm underneath him in heated pleasure. He pictured her milky-white skin drenched with their sweat as he thrust into her with abandon…

He couldn't explain why, but he needed those gloves, and he needed them now.
In the confines of his own residence, he could be as wild as he wanted- he reached into his back pocket, pulling out Celty's shadowy gift. Shizuo used his teeth to stretch each of them down over his hands, until they fit snugly around them, his fingers all in their corresponding positions.

Furiously, he undid his belt and unzipped his pants; quickly, breathlessly freed his now throbbing erection from his boxers, and watched as it twitched in excitement to his own gloved hands.
He grasped himself firmly with his right hand, grunting as the chilly shadows met his hot flesh. It wasn't long however until they began to heat up, and Shizuo pumped himself slowly, feeling the warmth beginning to spread. He watched as precum dripped from the tip, and he rubbed what he could around his sensitive head while the rest ran down his hard length.

He felt guilty, masturbating like this with these gloves that bridged the gap between him and the dullahan his friend Shinra was in love with. He couldn't deny the shame he felt eating away at his dignity, but he'd restrained himself one too many times. He could no longer savor the dullahan woman as simply a close companion, not anymore. Not with how close she'd been, how she'd hugged him with such force, how she'd felt pressed tight up against his body...

He stroked himself with more fervor now, the lubricating precum spurring his ecstasy. His hips began to gyrate on their own, thrusting into his gloved hand as his head fell back against the wall, and he allowed the other hand to slip underneath his bartender attire to brush against his nipples, delighting in how the gloves felt just like Celty. He imagined plunging into Celty's velvety warmth, watching as she trembled, right on the edge, and pumped himself faster, seeing spots in his vision. His own precum coated his cock and mimicked the wetness he so craved- and finally, as he pictured Celty thrashing as she came, he found his own orgasm.

"Ah…fuck!"

He ejaculated into his hand and all over the wall, flashes of white stealing his vision, and he collapsed onto his futon, exhausted.

"Tch…I actually did it. Fuck…"

He rubbed the back of his neck in regret, cursing himself, these feelings he had, his instinct. He wanted her. He wanted Celty. He wanted her bad, he needed to have her. But he couldn't…he just couldn't.