Beloved, an inuyasha fanfic

Beloved

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/General

Anime: InuYasha™

Pairing: InuKag

Dedicated to: Me. XD

Warnings: None, kind of. XDD

Summary: [InuKag, OneShot] When every day seems to drone on, a grown up Kagome wishes she could go back in time. That happens to her, and she's given a choice. To stay, or go back to her real world.

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

Longer Summary: After Naraku's defeat, Kagome and Inuyasha go their own ways. Kagome returns to the modern era where she studies to be a doctor in Kyoto University. On her twenty-fifth birthday she is invited back to Tokyo by her mother to celebrate. But the memories of her childhood there return to haunt her; from seeing her old friends to seeing old sights that made her want to go back.

Unknowingly, one night, she finds herself dreaming that she is in the Feudal Era once more, meeting Inuyasha after so many years. But it's just a dream, right?

I Just Want To Fly Away!

Kagome smiled and brushed some of her hair from her face. She was finally what she wanted to be, finally someone so great. She was a doctor, Dr. Kagome Higurashi. With a smile, she fixed her white collared shirt and straightened her skirt. Not that she looked bad or anything, but she had a thing for looking professional.

Now, when she was in presence of others, she could proudly say her name was Dr. Kagome Higurashi. Not just Ms. Kagome Higurashi, but a doctor. That meant quite a lot to her because she hadn't called herself anything since high school ended. She had moved away to Kyoto so quickly, she barely had any friends here.

For a moment, she froze when her phone rang. Someone's phoning to congratulate me! I wonder if it's Iroi, or Shara. With a smile she lifted the receiver and opened her mouth to speak.

"Kagome dear, it's been too long since we last spoke."

Kagome's brown eyes widened. "M-Mother?" she asked. This was the first time her mother had phoned here. It had been years since they had spoken. Not since she had moved. And for her mother to phone today was something new. Was she missing something? Was today important? Did Souta do something like get a girl pregnant? No, no, no, he's too young. Did grandpa want to annoy me with something weird?

Once more, she was reminded of her incomplete childhood. Souta bugging her, or her grandfather giving her 'antique' items for her birthday or Christmas. A small smile came over her face, but it was a painful one. How much she wished she was still in that world. But she had ran away for some reason, and she couldn't turn back time. Besides, I'm a doctor now. I'm the happiest I'll ever be. Could mom be phoning to congratulate me?

"Well, if you've forgotten, yes, I'm your mother. Your school is over, right? Why don't you visit for a week or two?" her mother asked. For a while, Kagome felt all of her worries melt away. For a moment or two, she felt calm and controlled. But that all went away at the mention of living there. Shaking her head, she tried to speak out. But her mother's stern voice interrupted. "You should be here tomorrow, I booked a train ticket and everything," she continued. "I look forward to seeing you soon Kagome."

The morning was always a good time of day. For Kagome it normally was, because she would wake up, have a cup of tea, and then go to her co-op work place at the municipal hospital of Kyoto. But today, she was sweaty, tried, and grumpy because of a long ride in a train. All because her mother had suddenly decided to bridge up relationships and invite her to the family shrine in Tokyo.

The family shrine, she reminded herself. Where I was raised? Where I learnt to say the daily prayer, to cook and clean. She bit her lip at the long lost memories. It had been years since then. She didn't know why it affected her so much now. She should be happy, a doctor in Kyoto. My world is so much brighter than the one I could have had in Tokyo, she reminded herself.

"We've arrived at Tokyo. All passengers please step off."

With a small sigh, she lifted her bag and stepped off of the train. She expected no one to be there. She expected that her mother expected her to know her way to the shrine. But she didn't. She had no idea how to go to the shrine. In fact, she had no idea where the shrine really was. I'm so lost. I can't believe I completely forgot where I live. There was a tone of fear to her voice. She couldn't remember her birthplace. Her mother, her grandfather, her little brother; none of it was in her mind anymore. She was no longer a part of this world; she was a part of Kyoto. To these people she was a stranger, and to Kyoto she was a doctor.

"Hey, have I met you before."

Turning around, she frowned at the man standing before her. He was dressed in normal clothes, and he had light brown hair. His smile seemed familiar, but she didn't know who he was. "Err, I used to live her, my family's name is Higurashi, you know, the old shrine?" she asked. The man's eyes brightened for a moment. "Yeah, I knew a girl that lived there. But she moved during midterms when I was fifteen," he said. Running his hand through his hair, he smiled at her. "Well, my name is Dr. Higurashi Kagome," Kagome said, adding her new title just to make others jealous of her newfound career. "I need to go there, for a visit."

"Oh my god, Kagome? I didn't even recognize you," the man said. He grasped one of her shoulders, and for a moment, she was reminded of someone else. Someone who kept asking her on dates, and when she said yes, she would postpone them for some reason.

"H-Houjo?" she gasped. It had been too long. She had forgotten Houjo, but he was still here. "Yes, Houjo. I heard you moved to Kyoto after midterms. But time has been good to you, I can see that. You're a doctor now?" he asked. Kagome nodded, proudly somewhat. Kyoto was her new life, her pride was all there. Little Tokyo would never match up to that world of hers. "That's good! I'll walk you down to the shrine. My fiancée Tenjo's meeting me around there to pray for her uncle anyways," she said. Fiancée? He's engaged. Houjo used to always ask me out… it looks like, life does go on.

Kagome thanked Houjo and walked up the steps leading to the house part of the shrine. She wasn't all too excited about being back. But something in her stomach welled up just as she passed a flower patch near the side of the shrine grounds. The patch was large, but she didn't remember it being there. Stopping right infront of it, she looked at it. Something else was here, I know it. But—

Her eyes travelled off to one side, where she saw a large tree. It was very old, and she knew it from somewhere. But by now, she could barely remember what it was. Shrugging it off, she walked towards the house steps and knocked on the door. Hopefully Souta had moved out, and Grandpa was (finally) hanging out with friends. Hopefully no one was aware that she, Dr. Kagome Higurashi, was back in Tokyo.

"Hey, we're not giving money to the poor—Sis!"

Without warning, someone jumped on her. Landing on the ground, she stared up at an older Souta. He must have easily been fourteen or fifteen. He easily resembled their father, whom Kagome could still remember. After standing up and brushing herself off, Kagome looked up at Souta. He was clearly taller, and more mature than the Souta she remembered as a child. The Souta that used to bug me about how I was such a klutz, who made me go into the well looking for Buyo.

Her eyes widened at the sight of their cat. Buyo had lost weight; the once over-weight tabby cat was, in fact, skinny. "You've gotten older, sis. Gramps and mom have been waiting for you all day!" Souta said. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her inside. But Kagome had to catch her breath. How much had changed?

Kagome sat down before her grandfather and her mother. Her mother had, changed as well. The short hair had grown to be longer than Kagome's, but she still had the kind look in her eyes. Her grandfather was still as scary as she remembered, but when had he turned so weak. The wheelchair was certainly a big change. Is this really my home? Why did… why did they change so much? Did I miss so much while I was in Kyoto? She bit her lip, and for a moment, she was surprised when her mother frowned at her.

"You didn't even think of phoning us, all of this time, Kagome?" she asked. "When father got surgery, when Souta's girlfriend had a son? Even when it was your birthday each year?" Kagome couldn't believe it. How could she forget? Every time something big happened, every one of their relatives phoned. But she, their daughter, she didn't even phone them. "And what did you think? We weren't waiting for you? Your grandfather sat here each day on your birthday with this antique hand, waiting for you to phone so he could tell you about it. Souta left the baby nameless so you could come and name it," she scolded. Kagome felt each word hit her hard.

She felt tears breach her face, but she couldn't stop them. And when she felt her mother hug her, she felt warmth all around her. The warmth from her childhood.

"Tomorrow's your birthday Kagome, and as a gift, we're asking you to stay."

When Kagome slipped into her bedroom, familiarity came over her. The pink all over the place, the brightness all around her. She felt like crying into her arms. No matter how hard she tried, this would still be her home. Here I'm just Kagome, not Doctor Kagome. She really did miss being here, and now, she regretted not living here. She regretted not continuing to live with her family. She regretted not sleeping in her room each night.

Lying down on the bed, she stared up at the ceiling. As a child, she always stayed here. She always felt safe in her room. Whenever she was alone in Souta's room, she could never sleep. But here she could. Closing her eyes, she let sleep drift her off into sleep land.

Thump.

She opened her eyes and looked at the window. No one was there. But she felt someone there, watching her, like a shadow. Ignoring it, she tried to sleep. But someone's eyes were continually on her. I'm a doctor now, why am I scared? There's no one there.

But something kept telling her that in her past, someone was. He'd be there when they argued and she came back here, keeping his eyes on her to make sure she was okay, even here. Safe, even here. And she wished he still was, because he wasn't, she just knew he was gone.

I want to be in that world, I really do. But… but I'm a doctor now, and I can't…

Kagome yawned and opened her eyes, sitting up.

It was morning, but why did her room seem more, monstrous than she remembered? Why was her room more like a log cabin then her room? Sitting up, she ran a hand through her short hair. Getting a more modern haircut had been a good idea at first, but why did she feel so out of skin now.

Did Souta drop me off in a barn? Or am I drunk and imagining I'm here? Rubbing her sore head, she tried to figure out where she was. But she had no idea. This was more primitive than a barn, or any log cabin she had been in. Standing up, she tried to straighten out her clothes. But looking down at her outfit, she found it wasn't her usual blue night clothes. It was a white and red priestess outfit.

Biting her bottom lip, she tried to ignore the feeling of fear building up in her stomach. Where was she? What kind of sick joke was this? She walked to the entrance, and was about to touch it. About to open it, but then, she felt something burn her. Stepping back, she placed her thumb in her mouth and sucked on it, trying to relieve the burn. When finally it stopped, she realized why it burned so much.

This place is on fire!

She covered her ears and shuddered. Why was it burning? This was so stupid, but so scary. Is this how I'm going to die? A burning cabin the middle of nowhere? On my birthday?

And suddenly, like magic, someone lashed through the door with a giant sword. Wait, a giant sword. A sword shaped in a fang… fang.

Reality hit her too hard.

Am IGood Enough?

"Sh-should I go?"

"Just go, Kagome," Inuyasha scowled. The hurt look on Kagome's face went completely unnoticed. Naraku was dead, that was true, but Kagome just didn't feel complete. How could she just leave like that? But Inuyasha's cold shoulder was making her believe she should. He didn't need her anymore. Was that why he kept shouting?

"I'm just… if you want me here, I'll stay—" she began. But he growled and grabbed her by the arm. "No, by all means, leave me alone. You don't belong here, Kagome. So go back," he snarled. Her eyes widened, and she stepped back. Did he really want her to go that much? By then, he noticed her eyes, the way she looked so hurt. He let go of her hand, and without even thinking, he turned away from her.

His hand fisted, before he lowered his head. "It was supposed to be this way, Kagome. You have a future there, and I have one here," he said. "You belong in your world, I belong here. So go back, and find a real life there." Her heart broke with each word. How could she? That world was connected to this. Her world was connected to this. How could she just go now?

But she nodded. He was right. She turned around, and for a brief moment, she heard him open the locked she had given him. Her locket. She assumed he'd throw it off, like the necklace she would assume he'd have Kaede pull off. With a short sob, she went back towards the well.

"Stupid human, get out of there!"

She couldn't speak. Her mouth was too open for her to make any sort of syllables. What was going on? Was this some part of her imagination? Shakily, she tried to close her mouth, do anything, but she couldn't. It had been years. She had forgotten him; she had forgotten this chapter of her life. How did this come back all of the sudden? She had no idea who he was; she had somehow managed to go to Tokyo without dying of heartache. But now, he was here. He was saving her from something.

She was reminded of the burning building when a wooden tiling of the roof almost fell on her. She was lucky, because he seemed to grab her at the moment and pull her aside. But she still couldn't move or do anything. Was this funny to someone? Bringing her back here, where she had decided to leave Tokyo forever? When he came out of the burning building and looked down at her, her eyes watered over. He hadn't changed one bit. Still the same person from before with his stunningly amazing amber eyes.

He let her stand, and for a moment, she remembered just how much she had changed. He couldn't recognize her, not at all. She wasn't Kagome anymore, she was Doctor Higurashi. A first class doctor who was no longer a silly little girl travelling between the past and the future to defeat an evil demon. And to him, she was just an idiotic woman in a burning cabin. I'm not Kagome to him anymore, I'm not really much of that Kagome anymore…

But when he grasped her shoulder, her eyes widened. "You… you look like her," he began. I'll deny everything he says. It won't hurt that much when this dream ends, then. She shook her head and tried her hardest to appear less Kagome-like. "My name is Kikio, I'm from a nearby village," she lied. Kikio? Am I trying to remind him of Kikyou? I need to come up with better names. What's next; I was once in love with Inuwasha? "Oh… what were you doing in there?" he asked, suddenly more dull.

Another excuse was in need. Of course, Kagome wasn't too good at excuses. When did a doctor lie? Never. Not even when the patient is dying. In this case, it was a matter of life or death, or facing her past.

"I was there because… because my pet Soukka went in there and then it ran off. I… I-I couldn't find my way out," she said. Nice save, Kagome. He'll fall for that. A pet in these times. "Then you should go to a village," he snorted. "You women are so stupid." She honestly felt so pissed. How could he say that when he barely knew her? "Well it isn't my fault my stupid pet left me and ran away! Some dogs are just so disobedient and so annoying, they bug you when you don't need them, and when you do they tell you to go away!" Kagome exploded.

His incredulous look made her stop. I'm not Kagome, and he's a dog. I need to stop ranting. "Keh, you're pretty mouthy for a miko," he insulted, plainly. "You're pretty mouthy for a dog. Osuwa—" she began, only to stop mid sentence. He continued to look at her, as if she had been about to say something he was waiting for. With a smile, she pointed at a random tree. "I thought Soukka was there. Hey, you take me to the village! I can't go back to my village today," she said.

Without waiting for an answer, she marched ahead.

I hope lightning strikes me.

I hope I get run over by a horse.

I hope a demon eats me after killing me.

I hope I suddenly convulse from the lack of food this week.

I hope my circulatory system suddenly overloads and blood comes squirting out of my body, killing me on contact.

Her list went on and on. Numerous ways for her to die then and there, but none of them would happen. Inuyasha was quietly walking behind her, oblivious to her angry and blatant abuse of language in her mind. She wasn't supposed to be here. How was she even here? The well was destroyed; the tree meant nothing to her. The well. That patch of flowers was the well. It's broken!

That had been her way back home. Now it was gone. She really was stuck in the feudal era until she somehow got home. She was stuck here, as someone named Kikio, who was stuck looking for her pet Soukka. This is really ironic. "You smell just like her," Inuyasha suddenly spoke. My smell! Of course I do, I-I don't have enough perfume to hide my scent! I need to do something. She stopped, and thought for a moment.

"I'm not sure what you mean. My name is Kikio. I'm engaged to my fiancé, Doguwashoumaru?" she said, finishing off in more of a question. Nice save. What kind of a name is Doguwashoumaru? Why would I be engaged to man like that? She wanted to gag. Something, anything. "Keh, it's one thing to be ugly, but another to have an ugly sounding man," Inuyasha commented, sneering.

Her hand fisted. "Shut up. Doguwashoumaru is really nice, okay? He's always there for me and always looks after me!" she shouted. "A-and he doesn't just ditch me for another woman, nor does he have issues with choosing between women either!" "Why are you telling me this?" he answered back, smugly.

"Because, you're the one making fun of Doguwashoumaru!"

I'm protecting my non-existent fiancé. Lightning strike me now. "Keh, fine. Go to your fiancé, wench," he said, looking to the side. Obviously tired, she turned around and shook her head.

Kagome saw the village for the first time in years.

It was so beautiful, so utterly beautiful, even today. Her childhood played in her mind, when she would march into the village with Sango, Mirouku, Shippou, Kirara, and Inuyasha. They were so good back then, the good guys, always. Her hand shook, as she was reminded of leaving. Leaving forever.

Would it have been different if I'd stayed? She wondered, clearly, just what she might have been like. Inuyasha's girlfriend maybe, or married to Houjo in this era. But she did become a doctor, a mighty good one at that. "Just go see Kaede. She might know the way back to your village," Inuyasha said. He turned to leave, and she didn't want him to go. She wished he could see she was Kagome, his Kagome. Who didn't get married, and though changed a bit, still was his Kagome.

"I-I... You're not going to stay to make sure I'm safe?" she asked. He looked back at her, and for a moment, she saw a look of sorrow in his eyes. "No, I'm not," he said, plainly. Just ask him why. Please.

"Wh-why?"

"Because I have to go sit at the well and wait for her."

Her eyes widened. He didn't know the well was broken? Is he… is he waiting for me? "Wait for who? Is… is your girlfriend coming from another village?" she asked. At her words, he laughed. Almost hard enough to make her feel a bit bad. "You could say that she left. I haven't seen her since," he shrugged. "She's probably a really famous person in her village now. I just… kind of wish she came here, to be with me."

He misses me. He misses… not me, he misses Kagome. Not Dr. Kagome. "I'm sure she'll… be thinking of you. It might be time you moved on," Kagome insisted. "Find a woman in another village." "The funny thing is, you remind me of her. With how stupid your fiancé is, and how stupid your dumb dog is," he laughed. There he goes again. Ugh, I hate him sometimes! But… but…

"Well, I'll be saving you sometime later, Kikio."

With that, he was gone.

Kaede stared at her for a few moments, her eye narrowed. What if she thinks I'm some sort of witch? I'm not too convincing with the hair, the makeup, or the lipstick. I'm dressed so weird too. Does a doctor dress like this? "Does ye know who ye are?" Kaede asked.

"O-of course I do!"

"Ye can lie to ye self, but not to me, Kagome," Kaede spoke. Kagome's eyes widened. She… she recognized me? "Ye still have my older sister inside of ye," Kaede spoke. She stepped back, and reality dawned on Kagome. Of course. Kikyou was so much like her, and Kaede knew Kikyou well enough to recognize Kagome at any time. Even if Inuyasha can't, she can. I'm… such an idiot. "What brings ye back after so many years?" Kaede asked. Shaking her head, Kagome looked at the door.

I should tell the truth, she thought. All of the truth. "I… I've become someone big in my world, Kaede. And I came to visit my family in, their house, and when I woke up from my sleep, I found myself here. I told Inuyasha my name is Kikio, and that I'm a Priestess from another village who is engaged to a man named Doguwashoumaru," she explained. "I don't think it's good for him to realize who I am, I don't think anyone should." Kaede frowned deeply at her words.

"Ye are just hiding the truth from ye self. Inuyasha will realize," Kaede spoke. "No he won't. I'm not the same Kagome, I grew up," Kagome exclaimed. "He needs a wife from here, and I need to live life there." It hurt to say things like this. I don't care. I really don't. "I will tell him, Kagome," Kaede spoke. No, no, no. I can't… I can't let her.

Closing her eyes, Kagome turned around and raced out of the place. No one can find me. I'll go to that burning house, lie down, and go back.

Can You Feel My Love?

Kagome took in heavy breaths, having finally reached that house.

This is it. No more Tokyo, no more Sengoku Jidai. Just Kyoto, to my apartment and then to the municipal hospital. She nodded and opened the door to the place, shaking without even feeling it. Shaking lightly, she looked around the burned up place. It seemed darker, muskier. Who had been here?

She walked in and brushed her hair from her face. That was it. Kagome Higurashi was gone, forever. Nothing was worth this kind of trouble. Not even seeing her mother, or Inuyasha one last time. She knelt down, and closed her eyes. Take me home, she thought, desperately. Take me home before someone realizes I came back. The tap on her shoulder made her freeze.

Looking behind herself, she gasped sharply.

"Kagome… how nice of you to join me?"

Breathing in and out, Kagome couldn't help but stare at Naraku's deformed self. The spider body and normal Naraku head made her shiver. He really did become a spider. "Wh-what do you want from me?" she asked. He looked over at her, while she was still tied in a spider cocoon. I feel icky.

"I'm going to eat you," he claimed. It made her shiver. It's over. Goodbye doctor, goodbye lavish life of mine. Normal Kagome would have been able to do something. But she was Dr. Kagome Higurashi now. "Please let me go. I'm not, I'm not Kagome. My name is Kikio," she whimpered. But he only laughed. He knows, ugh. I've been without makeup and a shower for too long. And my hair is too messy. Of course he knew I was Kagome. It was pretty obvious by my clumsiness.

But Dr. Kagome was never clumsy. Only Kagome was. I'm… I'm not Dr. Kagome right now. I'm just Kagome… Kagome, and just Kagome really will need Inuyasha. Or anyone… Still, she knew he was gone. "I'll… I'll help you with your hair, anything, just let me go," she exclaimed. He laughed bitterly. I'm doomed to die a death of pain here.

The door suddenly burst open, and without warning, the wind scar was aimed at Naraku.

Kagome, of course, saw the flaw in that. She would be hit too. Screaming, she closed her eyes, and without warning, everything went black.

Opening her eyes, Kagome rubbed them. "Wh-where am I?" she asked. She looked up, only to find a woman looking down at her. To her surprise, she knew the woman. "Midoriko," she gasped. "The person who created the Shikon no Tama." "You're correct. But right now, I'm here for you," Midoriko spoke.

Standing up, Kagome brushed her doctor's suit off. But she noticed, it was as if both articles of clothing were mixed. The skirt was her usual gray doctor's skirt, but her top was the miko outfit top. "You are confused, between these two forms of yourself," Midoriko spoke. Kagome knew it was true. I'm Kagome, but I'm also a Doctor. I want to be here, but I need to be there too. "That's why I will give you a choice," Midoriko spoke.

"Your choices are to go to Sengoku Jidai, as you are now, and never return to the Modern Era. If that does not suit you, you may return to the Konichiteki Jidai, and everyone that witnessed this event will forget it. You will remain in Kyoto City, forever as a Doctor. In either choice, your mother and Grandfather will be notified that you have gone either way, and no one here will remember you even came back," Midoriko explained.

Kagome didn't want to choose. Between Kyoto, or Inuyasha? Doctor, or plain old girl? "Think, you have quite the time to think," Midoriko spoke, kindly. But that didn't help, one bit.

After really thinking, Kagome decided. I'm not going to be seeing Mom or Souta or Gramps either way. I'll be alone in Kyoto, but a doctor, and here I'll be Kagome, not a doctor. Which one… sounds more beneficial to me? Of course, she had really been confused. But, she thought it over, and it finally made sense.

"Midoriko, I've decided."

Midoriko looked her way, raising a delicate eyebrow. "I really did consider, going back to Kyoto. I could marry Iroi, like he wanted me to," she said. "Or I could stay here, with no doctors degree. Just me, all alone, with no one to remember me." She smiled softly, reminding herself of why she was Kagome.

"Choose well, Kagome. Think it over… staying where?"

Kagome smiled.

"I'm going to Kyoto."

Gasping, Kagome felt her skin burn, and she once more felt herself falling.

"U-Ugh… I really… h-hate fainting…"

She looked up, only to find herself in her bedroom in Kyoto. Her same old gray bedroom with the doctors stuff everywhere. Her normal life, as intended to be. Hopefully, Inuyasha will be with Kikyou, like he's intended to. Smiling, she stood up and brushed her uniform off. Reaching for her comb, she lifted it, to brush her hair. But the phone suddenly rang.

Reaching for it, she stopped midway and smiled. I'm Doctor Kagome, not… not Kagome the time traveler. Inuyasha is with Kikyou, not me. It's… good this way.

She smiled a bit more and then turned around to take her stethoscope.

"Doctor, your next patient is waiting for you."

Kagome nodded and looked at the file, smiling at how she felt with her first job. "He's a bit, rough on the edges," the woman began. Kagome raised a hand and continued to look through. Bleeding head, broken ribs, broken arm, what am I dealing with? A monster?

"DAMMIT! I TOLD YOU I'M A DEMON!"

Kagome dropped the file at the familiar voice. I-Inuyasha…