Disclaimer for my disclaimer - It's not really written by Mick
Foley.(shock). I don't own Mick Foley or any WWE characters.
Disclaimer -Mick: Hi everybody, I'm number one best-selling author Mick Foley, and this is Mr Socko! Say hello to all the nice people Mr Socko!
Mr Socko: Oh piss off Mick. Everyone knows I wrote your books and you have as much writing ability as Big Show does wrestling talent.
Mick: That's not very nice Mr Socko. You're getting put back in the underwear drawer for that.
Mr Socko: No, anywhere but there...
Mick: Anyway, this is another fantastic fic from Jazzmaster. He's sure to be a best selling author just like me one day, but he doesn't own the WWE or any of it's characters. Enjoy!
Kurt Angle was in his dressing room. His Olympic gold medals were round his neck, he had a glass of milk in one hand and his World tag title belt round his waist. It's good to be Kurt Angle, he thought to himself. As Chris Benoit walked into the room, he thought this again, and believed it even more than he had the first time.
"Hey Benoit. Looking for your Olympic gold medals? Oh wait, I forgot - you don't have any," said Kurt while holding his medals out so Benoit got a good look at them.
"Shut up about your gold medals, Kurt. Gold medals count for less than nothing in the WWE," Benoit said bitterly. Kurt looked hurt for a moment, then that look turned to puzzlement.
"The WWE? The World Wrestling Entertainment? That doesn't make sense mister," said Kurt.
"Oh shut up baldy."
"Make me," said Kurt. He put down his glass of milk and stood up. Now he meant business.
"Make me make you."
"Make me make you make me."
"Make me make you make me make you."
"Make me make you make me make you make me."
"I don't have to make you do anything Kurt. I am the greatest technical wrestler in the world today. Just prove me wrong."
"Make me."
Benoit stared at Kurt for a moment.
"We have a match next. Come on," he said.
The match was to be against Edge and Rey Mysterio, who had inexplicably become regular tag partners. Michael Cole and Tazz were at ringside commentating.
"The mood is about to change! No one can stop the path of rage!" said Tazz
"Ha ha, that's right Tazz, this is going to be a great match-up..."
"Match? I thought commercials were running?"
Rey and Edge are already waiting in the ring. Benoit's music plays and he comes out to the ring to no reaction (one will be added later.) Angle's music hits and Angle comes out to the crowd chanting "You suck."
"Well we're underway and Angle is starting things off along with Rey Mysterio," simpered Cole.
"What are you talking about Cole? Are you blind? It's Benoit and Edge who are starting."
Benoit punches Edge several times.
"Kick to the midsection by Angle," said Cole enthusiastically.
"What match are you watching?" asked Tazz angrily.
Edge hits a suplex.
"Angle Slam!" screams Cole. Tazz decides enough is enough and applies the Tazzmission on Cole.
"Tazz is trying to DDT me! Help!" screamed Cole before passing out.
Angle was tagged in and thrown over the top rope by Edge. He got up off the ground irate and saw Edge still in the ring. Edge was laughing at Kurt.
"What's so funny pretty boy? Where are YOUR gold medals?" Kurt asked rhetorically.
"Under the ring," replied Edge. Kurt looked shocked. He lifted up the ring apron and looked under. All he could see were ladders, tables, a sledgehammer, road signs, Doink the Clown... He decided to crawl under to get a better look. Edge couldn't have gold medals could he? He, Kurt Angle, was the only Olympic gold medallist in WWE history. As he searched about under the ring, he forgot all about his first day in the WWE, back when it was still the WWF.
********************************* Kurt's First Day************************************
Kurt stood in Vince McMahon's office. His daughter Stephanie was there too, and kept looking at Kurt, giggling, blushing then looking away. Kurt knew what she wanted. All women wanted the same thing - his Olympic gold medals.
"...and remember Kurt," said Vince. "Whatever you do, don't crawl too far under the ring."
"Why not?" asked Kurt.
"Just don't do it," said Vince.
************************************Present Day*************************************
Kurt realised he wasn't going to find anything.
"That dirty rotten liar!" he said aloud to himself. He crawled out from under the ring.
"Hey... wait a minute," he said, looking around. "Where's Edge gone? Where's Mysterio gone? Where's Benoit gone? Where have the fans gone?"
He continued looking around, but the arena was empty.
"Okay, very funny. Let's all hide from Kurt. You know folks have been pulling that stunt since my school days. The little bullies... always picking on me..." Kurt began crying for a moment, then wiped away the tears and looked angry. "But where are THEIR Olympic gold medals!? Where are THEIR autobiographies? I'm Kurt Angle! It's true, it's true! Now come out!"
Kurt waited, but there was no response. He shrugged his shoulders then headed back stage. Where had everyone gone? Where had his Olympic gold medals and his tag title belt gone? Backstage, he was relieved to see Stephanie McMahon.
"Hey, Steph, did you just see that? I go under the ring for a minute, then when I crawl back out everyone's gone? That's just rude! You do not walk out on an Olympic gold medallist in the middle of his match." Steph was holding a cup of tea in her hands. She squinted at Angle.
"Sorry... who are you?" she asked.
"Who am I? I'm Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle! What the heck do you mean 'who are you?'. You wouldn't forget an Olympic gold medallist." said Kurt, waving his arms about frantically. Steph looked nervous.
"I... I'm sorry, I just make the tea and coffee around here," she said before walking away. Kurt watched her go then saw Matt Hardy walk towards him.
"She's just a tea girl? But I though she was The Billion Dollar Princess? I thought she controlled Smackdown?" Kurt said to Matt.
"Well, she does keep all the cream for her and HHH," said Matt, before walking off in the same direction Steph had went in.
Kurt leaned against the wall. What the heck was going on? He decided to find Vince. Hopefully he could explain what had happened. Kurt asked a couple of people where Vince was, and he was in luck - Vince was in the arena. Kurt followed directions to his office and went in without knocking. Vince leapt up as he saw Kurt enter.
"Who the hell are you? Who do you think you are, just barging into my office like this?" growled Vince.
"Not you too? Is everyone in the WWE suffering from amnesia? I'm Kurt Angle - Olympic hero. I've worked here in the WWE for years now. I've won every title that's worth having. "
"Never heard of you," said Vince. Kurt was bemused. "But you're fired anyway! Get out! Get out now!"
"You can't fire me - I'm an Olympic gold medallist!"
"So where are your gold medals?"
"Uh, I lost them..."
"YOU'RE FIRED!"
To be continued...
Disclaimer -Mick: Hi everybody, I'm number one best-selling author Mick Foley, and this is Mr Socko! Say hello to all the nice people Mr Socko!
Mr Socko: Oh piss off Mick. Everyone knows I wrote your books and you have as much writing ability as Big Show does wrestling talent.
Mick: That's not very nice Mr Socko. You're getting put back in the underwear drawer for that.
Mr Socko: No, anywhere but there...
Mick: Anyway, this is another fantastic fic from Jazzmaster. He's sure to be a best selling author just like me one day, but he doesn't own the WWE or any of it's characters. Enjoy!
Kurt Angle was in his dressing room. His Olympic gold medals were round his neck, he had a glass of milk in one hand and his World tag title belt round his waist. It's good to be Kurt Angle, he thought to himself. As Chris Benoit walked into the room, he thought this again, and believed it even more than he had the first time.
"Hey Benoit. Looking for your Olympic gold medals? Oh wait, I forgot - you don't have any," said Kurt while holding his medals out so Benoit got a good look at them.
"Shut up about your gold medals, Kurt. Gold medals count for less than nothing in the WWE," Benoit said bitterly. Kurt looked hurt for a moment, then that look turned to puzzlement.
"The WWE? The World Wrestling Entertainment? That doesn't make sense mister," said Kurt.
"Oh shut up baldy."
"Make me," said Kurt. He put down his glass of milk and stood up. Now he meant business.
"Make me make you."
"Make me make you make me."
"Make me make you make me make you."
"Make me make you make me make you make me."
"I don't have to make you do anything Kurt. I am the greatest technical wrestler in the world today. Just prove me wrong."
"Make me."
Benoit stared at Kurt for a moment.
"We have a match next. Come on," he said.
The match was to be against Edge and Rey Mysterio, who had inexplicably become regular tag partners. Michael Cole and Tazz were at ringside commentating.
"The mood is about to change! No one can stop the path of rage!" said Tazz
"Ha ha, that's right Tazz, this is going to be a great match-up..."
"Match? I thought commercials were running?"
Rey and Edge are already waiting in the ring. Benoit's music plays and he comes out to the ring to no reaction (one will be added later.) Angle's music hits and Angle comes out to the crowd chanting "You suck."
"Well we're underway and Angle is starting things off along with Rey Mysterio," simpered Cole.
"What are you talking about Cole? Are you blind? It's Benoit and Edge who are starting."
Benoit punches Edge several times.
"Kick to the midsection by Angle," said Cole enthusiastically.
"What match are you watching?" asked Tazz angrily.
Edge hits a suplex.
"Angle Slam!" screams Cole. Tazz decides enough is enough and applies the Tazzmission on Cole.
"Tazz is trying to DDT me! Help!" screamed Cole before passing out.
Angle was tagged in and thrown over the top rope by Edge. He got up off the ground irate and saw Edge still in the ring. Edge was laughing at Kurt.
"What's so funny pretty boy? Where are YOUR gold medals?" Kurt asked rhetorically.
"Under the ring," replied Edge. Kurt looked shocked. He lifted up the ring apron and looked under. All he could see were ladders, tables, a sledgehammer, road signs, Doink the Clown... He decided to crawl under to get a better look. Edge couldn't have gold medals could he? He, Kurt Angle, was the only Olympic gold medallist in WWE history. As he searched about under the ring, he forgot all about his first day in the WWE, back when it was still the WWF.
********************************* Kurt's First Day************************************
Kurt stood in Vince McMahon's office. His daughter Stephanie was there too, and kept looking at Kurt, giggling, blushing then looking away. Kurt knew what she wanted. All women wanted the same thing - his Olympic gold medals.
"...and remember Kurt," said Vince. "Whatever you do, don't crawl too far under the ring."
"Why not?" asked Kurt.
"Just don't do it," said Vince.
************************************Present Day*************************************
Kurt realised he wasn't going to find anything.
"That dirty rotten liar!" he said aloud to himself. He crawled out from under the ring.
"Hey... wait a minute," he said, looking around. "Where's Edge gone? Where's Mysterio gone? Where's Benoit gone? Where have the fans gone?"
He continued looking around, but the arena was empty.
"Okay, very funny. Let's all hide from Kurt. You know folks have been pulling that stunt since my school days. The little bullies... always picking on me..." Kurt began crying for a moment, then wiped away the tears and looked angry. "But where are THEIR Olympic gold medals!? Where are THEIR autobiographies? I'm Kurt Angle! It's true, it's true! Now come out!"
Kurt waited, but there was no response. He shrugged his shoulders then headed back stage. Where had everyone gone? Where had his Olympic gold medals and his tag title belt gone? Backstage, he was relieved to see Stephanie McMahon.
"Hey, Steph, did you just see that? I go under the ring for a minute, then when I crawl back out everyone's gone? That's just rude! You do not walk out on an Olympic gold medallist in the middle of his match." Steph was holding a cup of tea in her hands. She squinted at Angle.
"Sorry... who are you?" she asked.
"Who am I? I'm Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle! What the heck do you mean 'who are you?'. You wouldn't forget an Olympic gold medallist." said Kurt, waving his arms about frantically. Steph looked nervous.
"I... I'm sorry, I just make the tea and coffee around here," she said before walking away. Kurt watched her go then saw Matt Hardy walk towards him.
"She's just a tea girl? But I though she was The Billion Dollar Princess? I thought she controlled Smackdown?" Kurt said to Matt.
"Well, she does keep all the cream for her and HHH," said Matt, before walking off in the same direction Steph had went in.
Kurt leaned against the wall. What the heck was going on? He decided to find Vince. Hopefully he could explain what had happened. Kurt asked a couple of people where Vince was, and he was in luck - Vince was in the arena. Kurt followed directions to his office and went in without knocking. Vince leapt up as he saw Kurt enter.
"Who the hell are you? Who do you think you are, just barging into my office like this?" growled Vince.
"Not you too? Is everyone in the WWE suffering from amnesia? I'm Kurt Angle - Olympic hero. I've worked here in the WWE for years now. I've won every title that's worth having. "
"Never heard of you," said Vince. Kurt was bemused. "But you're fired anyway! Get out! Get out now!"
"You can't fire me - I'm an Olympic gold medallist!"
"So where are your gold medals?"
"Uh, I lost them..."
"YOU'RE FIRED!"
To be continued...