When you know your husband is a Bum!!
Chapter 1
"Do you Mr. Miller take Usagi to be your awful wedded wife?" the minister said
"I do!!!" Mr. Miller said shaking madly and his toupee bouncing up and down on his head.
"Do you Usagi take Mr. Miller to be your awful wedded husband?" the minister said to Usagi.
"Uh…. I guess…. Oh…what the hell…. I do!" Usagi said waving her hand and shaking her head in disgust.
"Then I pronounce you husband and wife." Said the minister, "You may kiss the bride."
Usagi saw Mr. Miller's face coming closer to hers. The sight was so frightening she fainted. When she woke p she was on the couch in their living room. A party was going on around her.
"What happened?" she asked her new husband.
"You fainted just as I was about to kiss you at the wedding." He said coming to sit down next Usagi, "So. Now that we are married call me snuggle bunny."
"Oh my god!!" she yelled remembering the site of Mr. Miller's mean snuggle bunny's face coming closer to hers. Then she fainted again.
~~~~~~~~*~*~*~~~~~~~~
This time when she woke up she was in her bedroom. It was 7:00 in the morning, and "snuggle bunny" was on the other side of the room packing a suitcase.
"Robert what…" Usagi started.
" No no no! Not Robert, snuggle bunny remember." Interrupted Robert.
"Ugh!" Usagi sighed, "Snuggle bunny! Why are you packing? Are you going somewhere?"
"Nope!" snuggle bunny said smiling.
"Then why are you packing?" Usagi asked impatiently.
"We are going on our honey moon, a little earlier than planned, Usagi my love." He said.
"We what??!!" Usagi screamed, "Why did I even marry you?"
"Because you love me." He replied smiling.
" Well where are we going to go?" she asked him getting out of bed.
"A hotel in California." He smiled.
"California?" she asked, "Why not Hawaii or the Bahamas. We have enough money to go don't we?"
"Uh…well not anymore." He said shyly.
"What do you mean not anymore?" Usagi asked
"I used most of it on a new toupee and toupee gel and Rum." He said, "But we still have enough money to go to a 5 star hotel."
"Toupees? Toupee gel and rum." Asked Usagi, "You spent all of our money on Toupees and gel and rum."
"Uh…maybe." He whispered, "Let me go take the bags downstairs. Bye!"
"Oh my God!" Usagi said in disgust.
After she packed her suitcase and got dressed she went downstairs to eat.
"No time to eat." Robert yelled to her from the couch, while drinking rum.
"Why not?" she exclaimed, "You ate."
"Well I was down stairs first." He said through gulps of rum.
"I hope you know you are a drunk, lazy, and fat bum." Usagi said to Robert.
"Thanks, Mrs. Usagi Miller." He said.
"Fine, I will be in the car." She said dragging her suitcase out the door.
An hour later Usagi got out of the car and walked back into the house.
"Come on! What took you so long?" Usagi snapped at Robert, "I have been waiting for an hour."
"Oh I forgot we are going on our honey moon now aren't we?" he said
"Duh!!!" Usagi yelled, "So how are we getting to the hotel anyway? You said you used all of our money."
"We are driving." He said belching.
"Gross."
"Thanks."
"Why don't we walk?" she slapped him on the back of his head, "Get up you lazy bum!"
"Why walk? Lets drive." He said starching his butt while he was sitting up.
"The hotel is down the street. Hello we live in California." She yelled, "Our honeymoon is just a walk down the street."
"Well we still have a 5-star hotel." Robert told Usagi.
"Which hotel is it? There are 3 hotels down there. Are we going to the Ritz or the Marriott?" Usagi asked, smiling at the thought of swimming pools.
"No, the Brown Box hotel." He said.
"The what?" she said.
"The Brown Box Hotel." He told her again, "Gosh are you deaf or something?"
"That dump?" she said, "That is not a five star hotel. It is like a 0 star hotel."
"Oh maybe that line in front of the 5 was a negative sig." He said looking concerned for about 3 seconds, "Oh well, we can still go."
"No wonder it only cost 3 dollars per night." He said more to himself than to Usagi.
"Ughhhhhh!!!" she screamed.
Chapter 1
"Do you Mr. Miller take Usagi to be your awful wedded wife?" the minister said
"I do!!!" Mr. Miller said shaking madly and his toupee bouncing up and down on his head.
"Do you Usagi take Mr. Miller to be your awful wedded husband?" the minister said to Usagi.
"Uh…. I guess…. Oh…what the hell…. I do!" Usagi said waving her hand and shaking her head in disgust.
"Then I pronounce you husband and wife." Said the minister, "You may kiss the bride."
Usagi saw Mr. Miller's face coming closer to hers. The sight was so frightening she fainted. When she woke p she was on the couch in their living room. A party was going on around her.
"What happened?" she asked her new husband.
"You fainted just as I was about to kiss you at the wedding." He said coming to sit down next Usagi, "So. Now that we are married call me snuggle bunny."
"Oh my god!!" she yelled remembering the site of Mr. Miller's mean snuggle bunny's face coming closer to hers. Then she fainted again.
~~~~~~~~*~*~*~~~~~~~~
This time when she woke up she was in her bedroom. It was 7:00 in the morning, and "snuggle bunny" was on the other side of the room packing a suitcase.
"Robert what…" Usagi started.
" No no no! Not Robert, snuggle bunny remember." Interrupted Robert.
"Ugh!" Usagi sighed, "Snuggle bunny! Why are you packing? Are you going somewhere?"
"Nope!" snuggle bunny said smiling.
"Then why are you packing?" Usagi asked impatiently.
"We are going on our honey moon, a little earlier than planned, Usagi my love." He said.
"We what??!!" Usagi screamed, "Why did I even marry you?"
"Because you love me." He replied smiling.
" Well where are we going to go?" she asked him getting out of bed.
"A hotel in California." He smiled.
"California?" she asked, "Why not Hawaii or the Bahamas. We have enough money to go don't we?"
"Uh…well not anymore." He said shyly.
"What do you mean not anymore?" Usagi asked
"I used most of it on a new toupee and toupee gel and Rum." He said, "But we still have enough money to go to a 5 star hotel."
"Toupees? Toupee gel and rum." Asked Usagi, "You spent all of our money on Toupees and gel and rum."
"Uh…maybe." He whispered, "Let me go take the bags downstairs. Bye!"
"Oh my God!" Usagi said in disgust.
After she packed her suitcase and got dressed she went downstairs to eat.
"No time to eat." Robert yelled to her from the couch, while drinking rum.
"Why not?" she exclaimed, "You ate."
"Well I was down stairs first." He said through gulps of rum.
"I hope you know you are a drunk, lazy, and fat bum." Usagi said to Robert.
"Thanks, Mrs. Usagi Miller." He said.
"Fine, I will be in the car." She said dragging her suitcase out the door.
An hour later Usagi got out of the car and walked back into the house.
"Come on! What took you so long?" Usagi snapped at Robert, "I have been waiting for an hour."
"Oh I forgot we are going on our honey moon now aren't we?" he said
"Duh!!!" Usagi yelled, "So how are we getting to the hotel anyway? You said you used all of our money."
"We are driving." He said belching.
"Gross."
"Thanks."
"Why don't we walk?" she slapped him on the back of his head, "Get up you lazy bum!"
"Why walk? Lets drive." He said starching his butt while he was sitting up.
"The hotel is down the street. Hello we live in California." She yelled, "Our honeymoon is just a walk down the street."
"Well we still have a 5-star hotel." Robert told Usagi.
"Which hotel is it? There are 3 hotels down there. Are we going to the Ritz or the Marriott?" Usagi asked, smiling at the thought of swimming pools.
"No, the Brown Box hotel." He said.
"The what?" she said.
"The Brown Box Hotel." He told her again, "Gosh are you deaf or something?"
"That dump?" she said, "That is not a five star hotel. It is like a 0 star hotel."
"Oh maybe that line in front of the 5 was a negative sig." He said looking concerned for about 3 seconds, "Oh well, we can still go."
"No wonder it only cost 3 dollars per night." He said more to himself than to Usagi.
"Ughhhhhh!!!" she screamed.