Disclaimer: No, I don't own Logan or Rogue or X-Men or anything at all, I'm just borrowing them, and believe me they'll be a heck of a lot happier once I'm done with them! LOL (Love'll do that to a person hehehe!)
A/N: This is just a one shot on Logan and Rogue's relationship that was inspired by the 3 Doors Down song, "Let Me Go". Due to the new rules of no song lyrics that you did not write being posted, the lyrics have been removed from this fic. I hope it still makes sense and I hope you like it! Please remember to REVIEW! I LIVE FOR REVIEWS!
Let Me Go
She watched him stride confidently toward the large mahogany door, his heavy leather boots thudding against the hardwood floor with each step and his leather jacket creaking with every slight movement of his arms. It was something she'd seen him do dozens of times before, but something she'd never gotten use to.
He always left.
It's what he did.
He was the Wolverine and he couldn't be caged. Not even this beautiful mansion filled with everything a person could ever want, could keep him from leaving. Not even the fact that there were people here who cared for him could make him stay and not even the beautiful young girl, or in actuality, young woman, could persuade him to remain.
She trailed close behind him nearly bumping into him when he stopped just short of the door.
They always did this.
It had become a ritual, a tradition of sorts that they'd both come to enjoy, look forward to even. And though they both knew it meant he was leaving, they also knew it carried a promise of return and other days to come.
For he would be back.
He always came back.
He turned at the door to face her.
'God,' he thought silently, 'she was beautiful,' and he kicked himself for thinking so, she was young, much too young and innocent for the likes of him, he didn't deserve her, he'd never deserve her.
But it changed nothing.
He wanted her.
He couldn't help thinking back to the previous night, what had conspired between them was the reason for his sudden departure now. Nearly six years they'd been friends, best friends, confidents even, but never lovers, they'd never crossed that line.
Until last night.
She was beautiful, always had been, he'd seen it in an instant when they'd met so many years ago on a snowy road in Canada.
But he was no good for her, and he knew it.
She had her whole life in front of her, at only twenty three years old he knew she didn't really know what she wanted, not really. And though she swore she knew he was the only thing she'd ever need, he wasn't about to take her future away from her, she deserved more than that, more than him.
At least right now.
But that night, the night before, he'd been weak, she'd come to his room, nearly two in the morning it had been when she stepped through his doorway, her scent filling the air and flooding his senses. He'd known she was there even before she spoke, a simple breath told him it was her and he'd had to take a moment to settle his nerves before turning to face her.
Neither uttered a word.
He'd simply tuned over in bed to see her in the doorway, her silhouette illuminated with the moonlight flooding in from out in the hall, making her look almost angelic. He could see right through the thin cotton of her white nightgown, the moonlight had been so bright behind her. He'd stared over at her, her delicate frame of curves and valleys in all the right places, the sweet smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eye that told him exactly why she was there even though she hadn't spoken a word.
His eyes had widened at the sight of her standing there, her scent betraying the confident, tough persona she was trying to hard to put on, he could smell her nervousness, her fear and her arousal. She hadn't come there to talk or to play checkers and he knew it. She'd finally had enough of the cat and mouse game they'd been playing for so long and she'd decided it was time to put an end to it and find out what was really between them.
Across the room she'd padded, her bare feet scarcely making a sound on the hardwood floor as he sat on the edge of the bed and watched her approach, his arousal spiking with every step she took. She'd stopped only inches in front of him, her scent wafting through his senses as she knelt before him, spreading his sweat pant clad knees with her tiny hands then slipping her body in between them.
Their eyes had locked but still neither uttered a single word. They didn't need to speak. She had him in her head and though he didn't possess her mutant power of absorbing thoughts and memories, he had her in his head just the same.
Without a word she'd leaned in close to him, her lips mere inches from his, he could feel her breath, warm on his face and her eyes flashed wildly in the moonlight. A small smirk crept onto her lips and her eyebrow rose at him, mirroring the look he'd been giving her ever since she'd walked in.
"Surprised?" She'd asked, giving him a wry smile.
"Darlin'," he'd replied smoothly, tugging her closer with his strong hands, "nothin' you do surprises me anymore."
And with that he'd arced his neck forward to kiss her passionately.
Their first kiss.
A mess of wet heat and passion, tongues sparring together with a desperation neither of them had felt before.
They wanted this.
They both had wanted this for so long and now it was finally a reality.
He'd stood, picked her up in his arms and laid her on the bed. Her now shorter hair splayed on the pillow, the white streaks reflecting the moonlight from window, her eyes sparkling and lips only slightly parted, just waiting for him to join her so she could taste him once more.
Holding himself up on his elbows over her, she smiled up at him and he returned the gesture. He felt her legs raise up, wrapping around his waist he struggled to hold himself up as she tightened her grip pulling him down on top of her. His heavy adamantium skeleton pushing her deep into the bed, but she didn't care, just the feel of him on top of her was enough to nearly push her over the edge.
'God she'd been waiting so long for this - way too long.'
She grabbed the front of his t-shirt in a fist and pulled him closer, their lips crashing together in a puddle of heat and desire.
'God he'd waited so long for this. Too long.'
But he couldn't do it.
He wanted her so badly and for so long, but he knew he wasn't good for her. No matter what she said. He knew she loved him, but she was so young and he was…
He didn't even know who he was, so how could she possibly know?
He'd pulled away from her to sit on the edge of the bed. She'd gotten up, slipped her slender legs over the side and looked up at him. Their eyes met, and she knew.
He had to leave.
Now, standing in the foyer, his bag packed and sitting next to the door, her eyes glistened with tears as she stood staring up at him, her long dark hair she'd cut only days before now only touched her shoulders and the brilliant white streaks in front still framed her face perfectly. Her cheeks flushed a touch at his gaze and she smiled back at him.
She didn't want him to go.
She never wanted him to go.
But she'd always known he would, it's what he did and when she'd chosen to love the Wolverine, however unrequited those feelings may have be at one time, she knew that love came with a responsibility to give him freedom. It nearly killed her every time he walked out, leaving her in the shadows behind the towering door that had become more to her than just an apparatus for keeping out the cold. It meant separation, loneliness and longing.
God she hated that door.
His hand reached out to cup her chin, it was so nice not to have to worry about gloves and fabric now that she'd learned to control her mutation, he smiled at the feel of her soft skin against his rough fingers. His thumb brushed softly over her cheekbone then trailed across and over the bridge of her nose, down through the valley of her full red lips, over her chin and down into the dip of her throat. She leaned into his touch, relishing the warmth of his strong hand on her, knowing it would be the last time she'd feel him for a long time. Her eyes fell closed as she rubbed her cheek into his palm, encouraging him to caress it longer and hoping against hope that he'd change his mind and stay.
God he wanted to stay.
Stay with her.
With his Marie.
But he knew he couldn't, not now. Someday maybe. Someday when she was older, or when he was comfortable in his own skin. But for now, he had to leave. He was no good for her now, he was no good for anyone now.
Her eyes flicked open at the feel of his hand leaving her cheek, and when her eyes met his, the realization finally set in.
He was leaving.
For real.
And he wasn't going to change his mind.
Had she made a mistake last night? Would he still be going if she hadn't gone to him? Her eyes stung with tears and finally several escaped, trickling in glistening patterns down her cheeks, the small smile on her lips faded gently away and she searched his eyes for understanding. She needed to know he'd be back.
He could see it in her eyes; she needed to know he'd be back. And he knew he would be.
Someday.
He just needed to sort some things out for himself first, too many things were going on inside him. His past. His future. His lost identity. They were all things that tore him away from her, things she said she was prepared to deal with, but things he wasn't prepared to place on her shoulders.
She knew, she knew better than anyone ever could, or ever would, what he'd been through. But still, despite that fact, he wasn't prepared to lay all that on her. If he truly loved her, and he did, he needed to deal with his inner demons first.
His large hand rose again, brushing the tears from her cheeks, "don't cry darlin'," his voice came low and rumbled with suppressed emotion.
"I don't wantcha' to go." Several more tears escaped and she reached up to hold his hand to her cheek when he moved to take it away.
His thumb brushed her tears away again and he smiled softly at her finally pulling his hand away, leaving only hers in its place. He reached down into his pocket, pulling out something small and metal; it reflected the light as he raised his hand for her to see. In his palm sat the same tiny silver chain and Wolverine dog tags that he'd left with her so many times before. Each time he would leave he'd give them to her for safe keeping and she knew they held the promise of his return.
Every time he'd given them to her, and every time he'd come back for them, so when she looked down to see them in his palm once again, she knew he'd be back.
She forced a smile, her cheeks still glistening with tears, and reached out to take the tags from his outstretched hand.
But he pulled his hand away, closing his fingers tightly around the tiny metal tags, and he saw her face instantly drop, her eyes filled with confusion and hurt, as she wondered why he was toying with her this way. He knew how she depended on that tiny piece of steel, the comfort it gave her, the reassurance it brought and the hope that filled her heart when they were strung around her neck.
Her lip quivered as she struggled to hold back the flood tears that threatened to escape, her eyes searched his for answers, but she could only see her reflection amidst the hazel rings. She dropped her hands to her sides in defeat as hope of his return slowly began to fade.
Seeing the disappointment filling her large brown eyes he quickly reached out taking both her small hands in his and squeezing them gently. She only stared back at him, not sure what to make of the gesture.
"Marie," he began softly.
"Yeah sugah?" She replied hesitantly, her fingers now entwined with his.
"I won't be back for the tags this time."
She could only stare up at him in disbelief, had she really made that monumental a mistake by going to him last night? She knew after they'd kissed that he was going to go, but she just assumed it would be the same as before and that he'd return one day soon and things would return to normal.
A single tear escaped, trickling down her already tear stained cheeks only to drip off and fall to the floor, "oh," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
His one hand pulled out, leaving the others fingers tangled with hers as he reached up brushing the white streaks of hair from her eyes and wiping another tear.
"No darlin'," he growled again, this time letting the corner of his mouth curl into a slight smile and raising an eyebrow at her, "I won't be back for the tags this time," he paused again, twisting her white streak between two fingers before finishing, "I'll be back for you."
Her eyes instantly flicked up to meet his intense stare and saw he was smiling down at her. She searched his expression for truth, and that's all that she found. She knew him well enough to know when he was being honest with her and this time was no exception. His eyes sparkled with love and desire that told her he just needed time, he would be back, eventually.
Instantly her heart warmed.
She smiled up at him, pulling her hands from his and stretching them up around his neck, pressing her body into his and looking him carefully in the eye, "you promise?"
His strong hands gripped her back tightly, hugging her into him and relishing the feel of her warm body against his, "yeah baby, yeah I promise."
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