Author's Note: So this story is in response to the Not-So-Heroic Death Challenge! Death by drowning! It's interesting, I'll give it that! Be warned, kinda creepy! Oh, and there's a teeny little bit of lemon-ish mixed in there, so be warned. Again. x) And I'm not making any money, no copyright infringement intended, yadda yadda yadda. Enjoy! If you're sadistic like that… O.o
Alone, Under the Water
"Giiiiinny!"
The water burbled around my ears. It was nice under here.
"Giiiiinny!"
I was warm, cozy, even, under the water. The soothing sounds of rippling surrounded me.
"Giiiiinny!"
I wanted to feel for once. I didn't open my eyes.
"Giiiiinny!"
The slight pain in my chest didn't bother me; It felt simply like the pressure of Harry lying on top of me. It was a nice pain.
"Giiiiinny!"
My eyes were closed, but I could still see the blackness creeping to the edges of my consciousness.
"Giiiiinny!"
Someone was pounding on my back. Why were they pounding on my back? I then realized I needed to breathe. My lungs were screaming for air. I opened my mouth to breathe and started choking. Spluttering and coughing I tried to draw in air, but not enough oxygen was getting to my brain. Darkness blurred my vision and I passed out.
"…She's breathing again!…"
"…Oh, thank God!…"
"…Ginny? Gin? Can you hear me?…"
"…Why isn't she responding?…"
"…Her breathing is becoming more regular, sir, don't worry…"
"…She's been through a traumatic experience…"
"…Drowning…"
"…Did she try to commit suicide?…"
"…Suicide? Oh, God, I hope not…"
"…Gin? Gin, can you hear me?…"
"…Calm down, sir…"
"…How can you tell me to calm down when my wife is lying there unconscious!…"
"…Her breathing is regular, sir, there's nothing to worry about…"
I was stiff. Every part of me. It felt as if my eyelids were glued together and my mouth was so dry. I scrunched up my face, trying to alleviate some of the stiffness.
"She's waking up, sir!"
"Gin? Ginny? Please say something, Gin!"
Slowly, carefully, I pried my eyelids apart. I blinked rapidly. It was bright, wherever I was. The dazzling whiteness of the room hurt my eyes. Still blinking, I opened my mouth and croaked, "Thirsty."
"Thirsty? I'll get you some water right away, ma'am."
"Ginny! I thought I had lost you!"
I could hear sobbing, but my eyes were still adjusting to the light. Gradually, I began to see a dark-haired figure hunched over at the foot of my bed. It seemed like whoever that was, was the person crying. He's a he, I decided. He seemed to be slim and tall with messy black hair and rumpled clothes. "Who… Who are you?" I asked.
He turned to me, bright green eyes shining with tears, "You don't recognize me?"
"No."
"Oh, God, Gin! You don't recognize me? I'm Harry! Your husband!"
I regarded him with interest. He was a handsome man. "I'm married?"
His brilliant eyes filled with tears again. "You really don't remember me," he choked.
"I'm sorry… Harry," I said sincerely. Try as I might, I didn't really remember anything, but I noticed the name 'Harry' felt nice on my tongue.
"I've got your water, ma'am," came from another voice that I vaguely recognized.
"She doesn't remember me!" Harry exclaimed through his tears.
"I understand your concern, sir, but I'm sure her memory will come back. Temporary amnesia is normal for near-drowning victims. Her mind is trying to block out anything related to the incident."
"Related to the incident? You think I'm the reason she was drowning?" Harry yelled.
"Sir, I never said I personally thought that, I said that is what generally happens for near-drowned victims. Here's your water, ma'am," he added, handing me a glass.
I sipped the water, savoring the cool, smoothness on my tongue. Suddenly, a memory flashed before me.
Tears streamed down my face as I regarded the small bump of my belly. I was pregnant. Again. I couldn't handle it again. Lily's pregnancy had been hard enough. No more. But I couldn't just abandon the baby, nor could I not have it, although muggles have some 'operation' (whatever that is) that removes the fetus. I couldn't handle another child. I couldn't handle another pregnancy. Sobbing, I ran to my bathroom and vomited. I choked on my own sadness and heaved again…
"Gin? Are you okay?"
I looked up at the sound of Harry's worried voice, hands shaking, "I… I'm all right, Harry."
"You looked a little out of it, for a minute there. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, thank you," I replied, trying not to cry because of the horrid memory that had resurfaced, "Harry?"
"Yes, darling?"
"Do we… Do we have any children?"
"Yes, darling. Three. James, Albus and Lily."
Lily. There was that name. Apparently her pregnancy had been straining. The man who had gotten me my water spoke to me then, "Mrs. Potter? Will you allow me to perform a few tests?"
"What sorts of tests?"
"Diagnostics, mainly. I just want to check to see if everything's still functioning normally. Then we can release you, if you want."
"All right."
The wizard waved his wand a few times, muttering some spells that I didn't recognize. "Mrs. Potter?" he asked after the wand-waving ceased, "Were you aware you were pregnant?"
Harry's eyes widened, "You're pregnant?"
"No, I didn't, but I don't remember much, do I?" I lied.
"But how are you pregnant? I mean, I know how, but since Lily…"
"You and Mrs. Potter have not had sexual intercourse?" the medi-wizard asked.
"Well, we have, but we've been… careful."
"What methods have you been using, sir?"
"Muggle condoms," Harry replied after a pause and a blush.
"And, forgive me, have they been broken during the intercourse?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
This ignited another memory. I closed my eyes, trying to see it.
"Oh, Ginny…" Harry moaned as he climaxed. I moaned along with him as I reached my own. Pleasure coursed through my body, but… what was that? It felt as if Harry had ejaculated inside me. But that was impossible. He was wearing a muggle 'condom' that prevented the semen from impregnating the woman. There was no way he had ejaculated inside me. Was there? I drifted off to sleep, mulling over these disturbing thoughts.
The next morning I woke before Harry. As I stood and stretched, I glanced down my body and gasped. There was dried semen on my thigh. If it was on my thigh, it could have been inside me…
"Gin? You still with us?" Harry inquired, sounding worried.
"Hm? Yes, sorry," I said apologetically.
"Were you remembering something?" he asked, hope showing in his eyes.
"No, not really."
"What does that mean? Did you remember anything?"
"Sir, please don't pester her about it. The memories will come back in their own time," the medi-wizard said with a quiet tone of authority.
Harry opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it, appearing to think better of it. I tried to convey gratefulness to the medi-wizard in my glance, but I wasn't sure if he understood. The wizard performed another few spells and then tucked his wand away, saying, "You're free to go if you wish, Mrs. Potter."
"Thank you," I replied.
"Do you want to go home, Gin?" Harry asked tenderly.
"I… Yes, Harry."
I was settled on what was supposedly mine and Harry's bed. Harry had taken our children to Ron and Hermione's house. I remembered them. I also remembered my sons, but had no recollection of the little red-haired girl who was my daughter. I heard someone open the door connecting to the master bathroom and out came Harry, wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was dripping onto the carpet, but I found that I did not mind. Surveying his muscular chest with a smattering of fine, dark hair, I appreciated the fact that he was my husband. I stood and kissed him for the first time, or so it seemed to me. Harry kissed me back, whispering, "Do you want this, Gin?"
"Yes, Harry, please. I want to remember," I replied into his lips. I did want to remember, but I didn't want to remember these horrifying chunks of sadness. I thought, maybe, that sex would put me to sleep and stop all dreams. I didn't think about memories possibly coming back during the sex…
I weaved in and out of dreams full of half-remembered memories. One moment I was in bed with Harry, the next I was cradling a tiny newborn. Then I was drawing a bath. The cycle started again, but it always ended with my drawing a bath…
Tears ran down my face as I charmed the water to a perfect temperature. The spell was so simple, so routine, but if things went as planned, I would never perform it again. I undressed, taking notice of small things like the small patch of freckles on my stomach that resembled a rabbit. I ran one hand through my hair and then over the barely-there bump of my belly, "I'm sorry… So, so sorry…"
"Gin? Gin are you okay?"
I awoke, sweating. Harry was calling my name, shaking my shoulders. I was about to respond when another memory passed before me…
Harry was shaking my shoulders. Well, I assumed it was Harry; I wasn't looking. Strong, masculine hands pulled me from the water. "Ginny! Gin! Can you hear me?"
I could hear him, why was he shouting? All I wanted to do was soak in the tub, why was I not allowed to? I coughed a little as I began to breathe again. "I can hear you." I choked and then fainted…
"Ginny! Oh, God, Gin! Are you okay? Please say you're okay!"
"Ginny! Oh, God, Gin! Are you okay? Please say you're okay!" a voice called, sounding panicky.
I tried to respond, but there was water choking me. I couldn't say anything. Noises were amplified and then dulled and I could do nothing to stop anything…
I began to choke as if water really was clogging my lungs, preventing air from entering me. Harry started to panic, I saw him wring his hands and look around the room wildly. "I don't know what to do, Gin!" he sobbed…
The voice I recognized as Harry's called my name over and over again. "Breathe, Gin, breathe…"
"Breathe, Gin, breathe!" my husband cried, shaking me.
I took a deep shuddering breath, coughed twice and burst into tears. Harry made to embrace me, but I turned away, curling in on myself. Was this how my life would be until my memory was fully returned? I didn't think I could take it. Harry sat beside me, rubbing my back tenderly. His hand was shaking slightly. "Bathroom." I mumbled into my knees.
"Bathroom? All right, darling, do you need help?"
I shook my head, determined not to fail this time.
"I'll leave you to it, Gin." he replied gently.
I stood, wobbling slightly. I was so lucky to have someone who cared about me. I was glad he did, but I couldn't take it. The memories were still flashing before me at random, but I could no longer see them clearly. All I knew was I had a desire to be enveloped in warm water, to leave the world behind…
"Giiiiinny!"
The water burbled around my ears. It was nice under here.
"Giiiiinny!"
I was warm, cozy, even, under the water. The soothing sounds of rippling surrounded me.
"Giiiiinny!"
I wanted to feel for once. I didn't open my eyes.
"Giiiiinny!"
The slight pain in my chest didn't bother me; It felt simply like the pressure of Harry lying on top of me. It was a nice pain.
"Giiiiinny!"
My eyes were closed, but I could still see the blackness creeping to the edges of my consciousness.
"Giiiiinny!"
The blackness fuzzed in front of me and I saw Harry's face shining in front of me. He wasn't worth the turmoil I had been through. Nobody was worth that.
"Giiiiinny…"
Author's Note: See! What'd I tell you? Was it creepy? If so, tell me! If not… Still tell me! I love reviews! Don't all authors? :P So please, bless me by reviewing! :D