A/N: Written for my Mum. It's really hard to believe that its been seven years already. I thought that nothing was going to harm you, not while I was around.
Me no own, you no sue.
Seven Years
It's been seven years. A lot can change in that amount of time. Things can go from bad, to good, to horrible.
I'm not the same innocent little orphan boy you took in years ago. I don't even know if you would recognize me now. I've grown up since then; but I've never -- and will never grow out of my childish fears. My brown hair that you used to ruffle playfully has now turned a stark white from the horrors I've been subjected to. I'm no the same happy child you would of remembered.
Things didn't go as planned. We were supposed to live by the sea. You were supposed to watch me grow up, have a family of my own, watch me make something of myself. That didn't happen, though. You were killed by the hands of a demon who you so adored and I was thrown into an insane asylum cell.
I thought nothing was gonna harm you, not while I was around. I thought nothing was gonna harm you, no sir, not while I was around. Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays. I wish I could of sent them howling, I didn't have a care. I wish I had ways. I thought nothing was gonna hurt you, nothing was gonna dare. Others can desert you, you told me not to worry, you whistled but I just couldn't be there. Demons 'll charm you with a smile, for a while, but in time, Something harmed you while I was around.
I told you that nothing was gonna harm you, but I let you down. Nothing, nothing at all was ever supposed to harm you, not while I was around. Some days, I wish that I would have been hung for murder, instead of being put in an asylum cell. They said that they let me off easy for this, because I was so young. Spending the rest of your life in a straight-jacket isn't being put off easy. I would take execution any day.
I know you never wanted this to happen to me. I know you didn't want to lock me in the bake house. I know when you told me that nothing was gonna harm me that you meant it. I could tell. But, life had dealt you a bad hand and you were caught in the trap of a demon who you so lovingly called Mr. Todd. You made a bad decision; but I can never stay mad at you. Its not your fault that this happened to you; its mine. I didn't know that when you locked me in the bake house would be the last time I would ever see your face.
I know you couldn't of been lying to me, but instead I lied to you. I broke my promise. I never wanted for you to be thrown into the fire. I know you loved me. You took care of me and told me every day how you thought of me as your own son. You were the only person who had ever shown me any affection. I remember when I would wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream crying and you would hold me in your arms until morning and tell me that everything was alright. You wouldn't of done that if you didn't love me, wouldn't you? I still love you more than anything in the whole world. You were my mum and that's never going to change. No matter what.
I don't like it here. Ever rarely do they let me out of my straight-jacket and if I ever dare complain I get beaten senselessly. I'm being used as a test subject for their new 'treatments'; which is the biggest lie I've ever heard. Every night I hear the screaming from the other inmates. Its terrifying. What even scarier, though, it that you're starting to fade away. I'm staring to forget your face. I'm staring to forget what your voice sounded like. Even your last screams are staring to fade away. I feel like I'm losing you, and what little bit of sanity I have left. Nothing seems real anymore. I wish that it was just a bad dream and I would wake up and you would tell me that everything was alright. This can't be happening! Mum, you can't leave me! But, I'm going to keep holding on to the hope that somewhere, your watching over me and that you'll never, ever leave me. I'd give anything in the world to have you back.
It's been seven years now, and I miss you more everyday. It's been seven years now, and the pain will never truly go away.