WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF!
WWWWHHHHAAAATTTT TTTHHHEEE FFFUUUCCCKKK ? !
OKAY! EXPLANATION!
IM NOT FUCKING DEAD.
Let me explain. About a month ago, I TRIED to commit suicide. Hense the reason why nobody has heard from me for almost a month.
My friend from school, (BeckyBanana) hasnt been able to login to her fanfiction account for over two months, claiming FF wont except her password.
As of two days ago (when a message was sent to Cheeky Brunette from her account, but it wasnt her) , it was clear that somebody has obviously hacked her account.
Now, we dont know who hacked her account. Becky is the type of person to easily give out her passwords; like, I have her FF account password, her facebook password, and her locker combination..and she tends to just give this information out kinda easily to really anybody.
So it could've been anybody. We're determined to find out who. Its probably someone from school; the news got out that I tried to kill myself and everybody's been talking about it nonstop for the last few weeks.
And lets get to the other subject, yes I know lately on FF there's been alot of talk about "my sister hacked my account" or "my cousin and i got into a fight and she posted that not me." well why on earth would i lie about something like this..? so im sorry for the misunderstanding but it is what it is and you cant go back and change the past. I know this whole incident scared the living shit out of alot of you but i just..i dont even know what to say about it.
I dont even know who would do that to me. Oh; and the story "becky" posted yesterday...that was something I wrote and PM'ed to Becky just about two months ago right before her account got hacked. I was gunna post it just using Logan..and I dont even know what happened.
For those of you concerned about me..yes, I realize suicide isnt the answer. I realize that now. What I tried to pull was a horrible mistake and I dont even know what came over me. I was just under alot of pressure and it all came to the point where I just wanted it all to end. I wasnt thinking straight, and..just..
I feel like all of you arent going to forgive me. But..I dont even know who would start such a rumour about me actually commiting suicide. Maybe somebody who thinks it was stupid of me to even try in the first place. Maybe somebody who was mad that I even tried in the first place. Maybe somebody who just hates me in general.
I realize I might not be making alot of sense..
..But then again, nothing in my life seems to make sense right now.
But you guys...are my family. I never realized I actually had so many people that truly loved me untill I got online for the first time in three weeks today. My facebook; FILLED with messages and people posting all over my wall telling me they love me. And dont even get me started on fanfiction..
Literally, over 22 private messages..people i didnt even know on FF telling me they love my work..and that I'll be dearly missed.
I went down the entire achieve of stories within the last two days and read every single story that was posted about me. And every single review to every one of those stories..
I fucking love you guys.
You guys made me feel like complete family on this website. I realized how many people were affected and love me on this website. you guys are my family. I just..I..
"..And it's wierd that I love you guys..cuz half of you I've never even met..but I seriously mean it..I truly do love each and every single one of you." -Shane Dawson.
Infact, half of us dont even realize it...but this whole incident, everyone thinking that one us has died..really bought us together, dont you think? And helped us realize that we really are, just one big family.
I seriously dont even know what to say and dont even think Im making any sense and am in serious shock that so many people were actually affected. Like literally..over 40 reviews on Cheeky Brunette's story for me..of people just saying how amazing I was and just..
I dont know what to say.
I should probably end this now. Im crying my eyes out..
But let me just say one thing.
I..PROMISE YOU ALL...that I will NEVER do ANYTHING again to risk ending my life..You all helped me realize today that so many people out there actually do love me. And I love you all back.
Im recovering slowly. Im on the journey to becoming a normal teenager again, because Im only sixteen and I still have the rest of my life ahead of me..I've got a bright future..why end it now?
Please forgive me for even scaring any of you in the first place...I still dont know who hacked Becky's account and told you all that I actually did kill myself..but..Im not dead. And I wont be for a very long time.
One of the reasons I tried to commit suicide in the first place was because I never truly had the love of a real family...
You guys..make me feel like family. :)