Totally don't own Naruto. This little sketch was written for funsies.
"Welcome to the Akatsuki! We are an asylum for the criminally insane, run by the criminally insane.
Here we have groundbreaking treatments such as Art's Therapy and Religious Counseling.
You can be assured of a thorough mental workup by our expert Uchiha and an analysis of your finances by one Kakuzu.
We also offer lessons in swimming with sharks, gardening, and faking your own death.
We are conveniently located in a closed off country with wonderful weather, suited for any dreary mood.
Please feel free to visit, especially if you are an extraordinarily lucky, orange-wearing, blonde loudmouth with a death wish...
Or a sannin seeking reconciliation with the orphans you cruelly left behind."
The masked man slammed down the first and only issue of Evil Maniac's Monthly. "What is this?" he growled, glaring at the blue-haired woman and orange-haired puppet of Nagato.
"It appears to be a threat, written by someone with a twisted sense of humor," Pein gravely answered.
"Well, who wrote it?" Obito snarled, "How did they get this much information on us?"
Konan nonchalantly reached down and picked up the pamphlet, "It says that it was written by someone named Meari Tsu."
"I want whoever this is found and silenced and whoever leaked this information taken care of," Obito ordered before sweeping out of the tower.
Somewhere, in a small village very far away, a young woman sneezed and giggled, "I wonder who will find me first." She loved a good game of hide and seek.
The End