Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, from THG or elsewhere.
A/N: This is a companion piece to my story Silent Lips, attempting to fill in the missing scenes from Gale's POV. May make some sense without having read that first, just note it diverges from the canon by leaps and bounds whenever Everthorne is concerned.
Warnings: Fanservice. Angst. F-bombs and others. Discontinued for now, you know how it ends, I don't know how I got there.
THG1: Staying Behind
They are going to take her away. They are going to take her away.
She is still here, behind the closed door in the Justice Building, but the Capitol has already claimed her, and I'm waiting to say goodbye.
Hopefully, not forever.
It's not like I've expected any reprieve from the Capitol, nothing, never. But still, I dared to hold onto that stupid, foolish hope that she, Katniss Everdeen, my Catnip, is beyond their reach, too good, too damn sacred for them to lay their dirty hands on.
But she'd thought the same about her sister, and my hope was gone the moment Effie Trinket pulled that one single effing slip of paper with the name Primrose Everdeen from the reaping ball. Even without looking at her, I knew Katniss would rush in to take Prim's place, and no force in this world could stop her.
After her desperate scream rang through the square and pierced my heart, deadly like one of her arrows, all I could do was to drag the hysterical Prim away, and let Katniss march forward. Our gazes met, only for the fraction of a second, but we've never needed more than that to communicate the most important information. However gladly I would follow her to the Arena and protect her until death, I knew that she'd never forgive me for volunteering.
Not if the odds chose me to stay behind, to take care of Prim in her absence.
For the first time ever, I almost believed that my forty-two slips may turn the odds in my favor.
I damn well knew that I should be wishing for a chance to stay and support both our families, but the very idea of letting Katniss into the worst hell ever, without me to guard her back, was too horrible, too unbearable to let me think properly.
Hearing my name in that annoying Capitol accent would bring some kind of sick relief, but it never sounded. Effie called Peeta Mellark. I could still shout my name myself; volunteer to take my proper place beside Katniss. But the memory of the expression in her eyes just before she turned to face her doom, the look that entrusted her most precious treasure to my care, forced me to bite my tongue.
So instead of me, Peeta Mellark walked up to the stage like a lamb to slaughter.
Not a threat. Not to her.
The kid's been staring at Catnip ever since I can remember, but never leering, never catcalling, never nudging other guys and pointing where he shouldn't, so I didn't even bother to teach him the basic life lesson that too much staring at Katniss Everdeen might result in a black eye.
But as he shook her hand, something strange flickered on her face. Suddenly, I hoped that she at least wouldn't have to kill him herself. Not a district partner, nobody would want to live with that.
She shouldn't have to kill anyone for the Capitol's sick entertainment, full stop.
The door opens for the last time and Madge Undersee walks out, with moist eyes and without that shiny golden pin. She'd cut the line right after Prim and Mrs. E had been escorted out in tears, and I was too preoccupied with them to argue.
Now I just brush past her without sparing her another thought.
Why should I? She isn't going anywhere.
Then the door slams behind me, and a second later I'm holding Catnip in my arms, desperate to keep her there forever, and she clings to me as if she wanted me to. I'm talking, but I'm not actually listening to myself and neither is she. Katniss can take care of herself just fine, she's strong enough, and all I can say to try and encourage her is bullshit anyway. It's just hunting, but we both know well enough it isn't, we've seen what it does to kids who end up there, and even the best hunters are just game to the Capitol.
But I have to tell her to come back, whatever it takes.
And one more thing to remember, one more thing to take with her. I can only hope it won't be a burden.
I cup her face in my hands and tell her I love her, because I have to do it, at least once.
I should have done it million times before.
Her eyes widen, shocked and somehow contrite.
No, I shouldn't have.
She fumbles for words for a few moments, and I almost wish I could take mine back, not to leave her confused about what she has to leave behind.
Then, to my surprise, she silently presses her lips against my cheek, her eyes brimming with too much emotion to read.
The trace of her kiss burns on my face, and new resolve burns in her eyes and fills me with hope I hardly dared to entertain before.
Why now, when it might be all for nothing?
Seconds later, the Peacekeepers come to drag me away, too many to fight against, and they get a real kick out of it. More than one to be exact, but now with the door slammed shut between me and my Catnip, I'm too numb to care.