NOTES:
A snippet of an idea for this story grabbed me and wouldn't let go. And when I tell you it took on a life of its own... phwew. I didn't know what I was in for. But what are you in for? Angst, y'all. Angst and angry feelings and some other feelins and sex... yes. Angry (consensual!) sex.
I'm sorry. Or... you're welcome. I'm still not sure yet.
*Brought over from my AO3 account. It's been a while since I've published anything on FF so forgive any formatting errors.
Supergirl landed too hard on the balcony outside of Lena's office. The concrete crumbled some, scattering pebbles along the terrace under her feet and she could see the rebar supports below.
"She's dead." Alex had said as she placed a hand on Kara's shoulder. She had said it so plainly, as if commenting on nothing more significant than that day's weather report.
"She's really gone?" There was no remorse in Kara's reply, just the utter disbelief that it was all finally over.
Kara stared down at the lifeless body of Lillian Luthor in front of her on the morgue slab in the DEO. A single bullet wound to the head, eyes still open, fogged over, starting at the ceiling. It wasn't the blaze of glory she imagined Lillian thought she would experience, if ever, at the end of her reign of terror.
"I have to…" Kara cleared her throat and pointed over her shoulder. "I have to go. Someone should tell Lena. She shouldn't have to hear about this from a random DEO agent or the news. I have to go."
Alex watched Kara back out of the room slowly, watched her stumble momentarily over a trash can and then bump into the door frame, unable to tear her eyes away from the lifeless figure on the metal table. "Kara. Don't… you don't want to be the person that tells Lena this. It's all she'll be able to see when she looks at you from now on."
Kara felt the roll of nausea through her stomach as she wrung her hands together and brought her eyes up to meet her sister's. "She deserves to hear this from a friend. I have to go."
Alex nodded once and Kara was gone.
Kara looked at Lena through the tall windows of her office. She had barely flinched at the sound Kara had made when she landed. She sat at her large white marble desk, ramrod straight in the high back chair, staring ahead at nothing on the opposite wall, one hand tracing lazy patterns across her lips while the other grasped a highball glass of bourbon.
As Kara walked through the doors Lena spoke with little mirth, "You know, that's not really an entrance."
Kara couldn't find the laugh in her that she so desperately wanted to respond with as she rounded Lena's desk and planted her feet firmly in front of her. She had flown directly to Lena's office from the DEO and now that she was standing here in front of Lena, she wasn't sure how exactly she was supposed to tell her best friend that her mother was dead. It wasn't like there was an ice breaker that existed for that conversation.
Lena shifted her hazy gaze from the far wall of her office to Kara's crestfallen face and set down the tumbler of alcohol. She narrowed her eyes appraisingly. "Alright. Not in the joking mood tonight, I see. What can I do for you Supergirl?"
The silence that filled the room fell heavily on both Kara's and Lena's shoulders. Lena sat back in her chair and crossed her arms and legs; already shrinking into herself, as if doing so could somehow protect her from whatever was about to be said. Kara swallowed hard as she looked up from the floor and trailed her eyes over Lena's body involuntarily. (Old habits die hard.) High heels, bare calves, black, high-waisted pencil skirt, a deep navy blouse flowing over her breasts that was sleeveless and showed off her fair, toned arms. Long neck, angular jaw, and green eyes that bore into Kara as she waited her out. Lena looked beautiful, as always, but especially so tonight as Kara thought about the devastation she was about to rain down on Lena. From this night on there would always be a "before" and "after" in their relationship. The before she had to tell Lena that Lillian was dead – murdered - and whatever the fallout there was afterwards.
"I need to talk to you about…" Kara reflexively went to adjust glasses that weren't perched atop her nose. She took a deep breath. Out with it, Kara. "I'm here to talk to you about Lillian… I'm here to talk about your mother. She's…. she's…"
"Dead," came Lena's cool reply as she reached out to flick an imaginary piece of lint from her skirt. She looked back at Kara, lifting her chin sharply in the air, challenging her to reply with something to the contrary.
Kara let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Yes. But, wait. How… how did you know?" Kara's brows crinkled in confusion.
Lena reached over to her desk's side drawer, pulled out a handgun and placed it on the tabletop with a soft thump. "Because I know."
Kara looked at the gun for an interminable amount of time; her mind reeling. Finally, she looked back to Lena who sat still; her face betraying no emotion.
A whisper was all Kara could summon. "Lena. You didn't. You… you couldn't have. You're too..."
"What? What am I, Supergirl? Too 'good'?" Lena let out a small bark of laughter and unfolded herself from her seat. She leaned over her desk and perched herself up on her fingertips. "I did what had to be done. I did what everyone else couldn't or wouldn't do." She stood upright, "I slayed the dragon."
Kara took a step back.
"How?" she barely breathed out.
How did you kill her? Why did you do it? Why didn't you tell me your plan? What if you had gotten hurt? Why didn't you let me protect you? Why didn't you let me help you? How… how could you do this?
"How?" she said louder this time.
Lena walked out from behind her desk to come and stand in front of Supergirl. "It doesn't matter how. It's done." She crossed her arms in defiance but unable to truly hold Kara's gaze.
"You killed your mother. You carried out an unsanctioned hit on your own mother and you say that it doesn't matter?!" Kara could feel her temperature rising. Her fists shook slightly at her sides. Maybe she didn't know Lena that well after all. The room started to spin slightly at the thought.
"And you work with a black ops government agency that makes the rules up as it goes." Lena replied coolly. "Sometimes the methods don't matter. Only the results." Lena was stepping forward now, forcing herself into Kara's space. "You stand there in your righteousness hidden behind that symbol on your chest and presume to lecture me on ethics? On right and wrong?"
"We don't kill, Lena."
"No? What about Astra and Non? Hmm? Are you telling me there's no obligation on your part, on your sister's part to take care of your own family's…. hmm" Lena's hand waved airily, "indiscretions?"
Kara felt her heart in her throat. She felt the anger wash over her and uncontrollably her eyes glowed – for just a moment – at the memory of her aunt and uncle and the residual guilt and betrayal and fury that always swirled around in her head when she allowed herself to think of them for too long.
"You…" Kara's cheeks puffed out in frustration, a finger pointed angrily in Lena's direction.
"What?" Lena's eyes narrowed. "'You', what? Say what you have to say, Supergirl."
"Arrogant…" Kara started.
"Naïve…" was Lena's counter response as she pointed lazily back at Kara. The barb stuck Kara sharply.
"Stupid…" Kara volleyed back. Good one, Kara.
"Uninformed…" fell from Lena's lips as she advanced again.
"Think you have to do everything on your own…"
"Think you have to carry the whole world on your shoulders…"
"Misanthropic… nihilist…" Kara brought her hands up to her own scalp to pull at the hair tightly.
"Hero complex toting idealist…" Lena finally pushed Kara back until the back of her knees had hit the couch.
They stared at each other, chests heaving with anger and more words unsaid. Kara groaned and pulled on her hair once more before transferring her hands to Lena's face and pulling her in for a rough kiss.
Lena covered her shock splendidly, only taking a moment to catch up and rake her fingers over Supergirl's shoulders and down her back to finally settle on her hips as she pulled them closer together.
There was no love in this kiss. There was anger. And hurt. And betrayal. And desperation. There was every ounce of tension that had been left unchecked over the previous year. Lena bit down on Kara's bottom lip hard. Kara ripped Lena's blouse off in response.
A light chuckle of surprise and pleasure tumbled out of Lena as she found the zipper of Kara's suit and pulled it down. Her mouth never stopped kissing and biting and licking at Kara's face and neck as her fingernails traced lines up Kara's back and over her shoulders where she pulled the suit down over her arms and let it fall to the floor.
Kara could feel goosebumps erupting all over her body as Lena stood back and allowed her eyes to fall over every inch of her. Lena placed her hand over Kara's heart and before she could think too long about the quickened pace beating below she pushed Kara forcefully onto the couch and knelt before her.
This wasn't about love, Lena told herself. It was about flesh on flesh. It was about erasing memories of the day and replacing them with something else. And maybe what she and Supergirl were about to do would destroy their friendship but in this moment, she didn't care. Destroy or be destroyed. That was the life of a Luthor.
Kara gasped as Lena went straight for her clit. Sucking and gently biting at the bud. She brought her tongue down in broad strokes over her folds as she tasted Kara's wetness. Her left hand found Kara's breast and worked against the hardening nipple while her right lifted Kara's still booted leg over her shoulder and then entered Kara with two fingers.
If this was about love, Lena may have taken the time to look up at the vision that was Kara in this moment. Head lulled back with her blonde hair splayed over the back of the white couch, sweat pooling in the hollow of her neck, ribs expanding as they sucked in air desperately and stomach clenching as she came nearer and nearer to climax.
No matter, there wasn't much time to take in the view anyway. The feel of Lena's tongue and fingers working on and inside of Kara had her coming after only a few minutes. She pitched forward, her breath coming fast and hot over the top of Lena's head, small fly-aways that came loose from Lena's pony tail fluttering in the wind and tickled her face, while Lena lapped up what remained.
Lena didn't know exactly what she expected to see after she stood up and looked down to meet the gaze of Supergirl. Pity maybe? Regret? That soft expression Supergirl often gave her when something devastating (as it so often did) happened to her.
What she saw instead was nothing short of raw lust and hunger. Standing up, Kara lifted Lena's skirt to bunch around her hips and ripped away the flimsy excuse for underwear there. She lifted Lena up, Lena's legs coming around Kara's midsection and walked her over to the desk where she sat her down none-too-gently. Kara brought her hands around Lena's back and unclasped her bra, throwing it to the floor somewhere near the other clothes that had been dispersed of so quickly this evening. She brought her lips down to Lena's neck and sucked hard eliciting a soft yelp of pain from Lena. Her assault continued lower, over sharp collar bones and the deep sternum between Lena's breasts. She cupped one breast with her hand and brought her mouth to the other one, alternating between nips and soft pinches and languid kisses and the smoothness of her tongue.
Kara stopped suddenly and Lena wondered for a moment if she was going to be the first of the two to come to her senses. "Stand up, Lena, and turn around." Lena gulped loudly but did as she was told. She felt Kara work her skirt down her legs and slowly trail her hand up in between her thighs. Standing up fully behind her, Kara wrapped Lena's ponytail around her wrist, taking the part at the base of Lena's skull in her hand. She leaned forward to whisper hotly in her ear, "Bend over."
Lena did so, flattening her palms on her desk, bracing herself for what would come next.
Kara pulled slightly on Lena's hair, pulling her head back to Kara's mouth where she could continue to speak into her ear as she lazily traced her free hand over Lena's backside and in between her thighs.
"I am so mad at you." A swipe of her finger in between Lena's folds.
"I don't understand how you can be so stubborn all of the time." A nip at Lena's shoulder that would no doubt leave a mark.
"Why did you do it?" A faster and harder rub at Lena's clit.
Lena shuddered. She was having a hard time remaining perched on her hands. She wanted to lean over more. Open herself up for Supergirl. She wanted to feel her inside her, forcing away the memories of all her mistakes.
"I… I… Supergirl…. Please…"
Kara grunted softly in response. She loosened her hold slightly on Lena's hair, allowing her to lean her upper body fully on the desk, the cold marble sending shivers through her body as her skin came in contact with it.
Kara mirrored the curve of Lena's body allowing her breasts to caress Lena's back. She brought her mouth back to Lena's ear. "I don't understand you." Fingers worked deftly at Lena's clit and teased her entrance.
"You. Are. Good." One finger slipped inside and was removed just as quickly, working again at Lena's clit.
A slight pull of Lena's hair again, Supergirl's breath hot in her ear, fingers teasing her. Lena worked hard to catch the breath caught in her throat.
"What do you want from me?" Lena breathed out.
"Say my name."
"Su… Supergirl."
A slight tug on Lena's hair again. "No. Say – my – name – Lena."
"Kara." Lena hissed as Kara plunged three fingers inside of her. The stretch was pleasantly painful and didn't last long as Lena opened up to her and coated Kara's hand with her arousal.
Kara pumped faster, letting go of Lena's hair to bring her hand down in favor of paying attention to Lena's clit.
Kara leaned forward again, lips ghosting against the shell of Lena's ear. "You know who I am. And I know you, Lena Luthor. And there is more to this story than you're telling me."
A single tear left a trail down Lena's nose and dripped onto the desk top.
Lena could hear the steady effort of Kara as her hands worked in tandem to move inside her and rub her clit. She was so close… so close to being able to let it all go.
"Tell me." Kara purred into her ear.
"I… I did it to protect you."
One last scissor of Kara's fingers, one true confession from Lena's lips and she was undone. Lena brought her fist to her mouth to bite down the scream that released itself at the same time as her climax. Kara slowed her efforts, guiding Lena down from the dizzying heights she climbed, feeling the walls start to relax around her fingers.
Kara leaned heavily on Lena for a moment, her weight a momentary comfort to Lena and then Kara stood again. Lena shivered at the cold air and sudden lack of contact. Lena stood tentatively and turned around to face Kara and then leaned into her embrace.
"I did it to protect you. I ki… I killed Lillian to protect you. I killed my… my mother. Oh god." Lena crumpled in Kara's arms. Kara eased them down to the floor, drawing Lena up into her arms like a parent holding a small child and rocked her back and forth.
"Shhh… shhh. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
Kara wouldn't tell Lena that it would be okay. She's not sure that it ever would be. So, she kept saying the only thing that she could promise.
"I'm here. I'm here."
Notes: Comments : me :: yellow sun : Kara