For all intents and purposes, please pretend that "shipping" is a term that they would have been using in the seventies.
"So, James," Sirius said lazily, tossing a stolen Snitch up in the air. James, who was sitting upside down in an armchair by the fire, raised an eyebrow.
"No good conversation has ever started with that," James said. "Let's hear it."
"Moony doesn't really have a lot of wolfish qualities," Sirius replied. James grinned.
"An observant one, aren't you?" he asked. "You've only been friends with him five years now." Sirius chucked the Snitch at his head and James dodged it easily. "Is there a point to this?"
"I'm just kind of curious, you see," Sirius said, shrugging. "It must have an affect somewhere."
"Am I going to be uncomfortable at the end of this conversation?" James asked. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Not any more than I am when you have one of your damn Evans dreams," Sirius said. "You talk in your sleep you know. I don't think you'd impress her nearly as much as you think."
"Oh, shut it," James said. Sirius grinned.
"Oh yeah, bet you like that don't you!" he moaned in his best impression of James. His best friend snatched the Snitch off the floor and threw it right back at him. Sirius, not quite the athlete that James was, was unable to dodge it and got nailed in the throat with it, leaving him gasping for a few moments.
"We're in public," James hissed, glancing nervously over his shoulder at Lily, who was at a table studying a few feet away.
"Just keep my suffering in mind when I ask you this question," Sirius said seriously. "Do you think Moony has a big dick?" James frowned, and for a second it looked like he might be contemplating it, but then he sat up abruptly.
"Well, I think that's enough bonding time for one night. I'll just be heading off to bed, then," he said. He went toward the stairs, but as he passed Sirius lunged sideways and wrapped his arms around James' waist. If he took another step forward, Sirius' pretty face would go plummeting into the floor. James was tempted. "Sirius, let go of me."
"Not until you answer my question," he said, clinging tighter.
"This is why people think we're together," James tried again. Sirius grinned up at him.
"I ship it, don't you?" he said. James rolled his eyes and patted his best friend on the head.
"Of course, Padfoot, but it's unfortunately not to meant to be," he said. "Now let me go to bed."
"Not until you answer my question," Sirius repeated whiningly. People were starting to stare, including Lily Evans. James pried Sirius' arms off of him, and his best friend barely caught himself before he could hit the floor.
"If you're really that curious, ask him yourself," James called over his shoulder as he headed toward the stairs. Sirius- who was still hanging limply over the arm of his chair- considered this. Well, it wasn't like he'd ever had any sense of shame before.
"Hey Moony!" he yelled across the common room. Remus was huddled up in a corner studying and had been ignoring his friends very successfully up until this point. "Do you have a big dick?!" This drew laughter from everyone listening, but Remus just sighed as he flipped a page in his textbook.
"We share a room, Sirius," he said resignedly. "If you really wanna know, just take a look."
Do people still do author's notes? I'm gonna do an author's note.
I don't know if I still have any followers on here, or if I do, I don't know if they'll read this, but hey there, if you're here. I don't think I'm exactly coming back to fanfiction, exactly, but I did write this lil drabbly thing and I figured someone should read it. So here we are. Hope you all enjoyed!