museless22 asked you: Promptliness; 5 Things Regina Learned about the real world. My thought is humor, but let your muse wander where it will. (Also wouldn't object to Swan Queen inclusion. ;) ) PS. I love your fic. Internet hugs for you, dear.
AN: First, thank you, Museless, you are so kind! Second, I guess I really tell the story starting with number five. The first four are quite short, but five is the actual story here… Hope you enjoy!
Oh P.S. this one has spoilers for the Grey's Anatomy that aired on November 15, 2012 (Second Opinion)
Regina had learned too many things to count while in this realm. She'd learned all too much to really even try to begin. She considered Storybrooke a new chance, being reborn. She learned and relearned things she thought she knew, and it was okay to be as curious as she was because she was technically an infant—at least she was in a sense, she was reborn after all. That was the term she liked, 'reborn'.
There were five things that she can easily pick out as the favorite learned things. They weren't profound (except for the last, which happens to be her favorite of her favorites), but they were her favorites:
1. Lacking Magic
Don't get Regina wrong. She loves magic. She's addicted to magic. Magic is awesome. Magic makes her happy. Magic is life… Well, it was. It's not so much life anymore. That's number five now, but we're on number one. Lacking magic was a learning experience (like all of these, hence the five things she learned), but it was a rather unique adjustment.
She had to put on and take off her clothes. She had to bathe regularly. She had to remove her make up. She had to prepare for everything. She had to learn this world and its ways the hard way. She had to learn everything from scratch because she had been so used to magic that everything seemed foreign—which technically it was.
2. Television/Movies
Like some would think, she thought that she had found magic when she first found a television. In her defense, the first television she saw was a security screen mounted at the local shopping center. She saw herself walking into the store then saw herself standing in the center of all the televisions displayed and then saw herself walking out of the store… It was only logical that she thought that TVs played real life.
Though as she was looking at everything and she saw the TV Guide in her Sunday paper, she cocked her head and wondered what the different channels meant and why she could only watch certain families or places. And for that matter why they weren't called by their names—Well, there was Magnum, P.I., The Jeffersons, and Webster, though she was almost positive that there was something off about an entire camera crew following a private investigator, there wasn't a real family that won a civil suit and proceeded to open and own fancy dry cleaning stores, and people did not go around letting their adoptive children get away with or do something every time she saw them… And if she were going to go on, she'd mention that no one's name is Cheers except for the bar. And the commercial breaks did not make sense to her either.
There was just too much that quickly proved her theory that TV was fake… the major key were the 2 minute credit reels with catchy songs that played towards the beginning of each show… That actually made Cheers make sense. That and Diff'rent Strokes, Simon and Simon, The Dukes of Hazard, Silver Spoons, Dynasty, Newhart, Hart to Hart, Happy Days, Family Ties, The Facts of Life and Three's Comany… Okay, let her just say it made all the shows make sense.
That didn't stop her from watching them though. She liked them. She liked them a lot. Over the 28 years, her tastes changed and she grew to love medical dramas: Now, Grey's Anatomy being her favorite… Although, she had liked House, but that was now for an entirely different reason. She also realized that she was always going to be a secret fan of sitcoms. On her personal DVR, she has How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Mike & Molly, Don't Trust the B— In Apt 23, New Girl, Raising Hope, Modern Family, and that's just what she can remember off the top of her head.
So… just to wrap up, TV is awesome, and after she realized it was fake it was even more awesome. She found that she liked TV more than movies, but she liked the atmosphere of a movie theatre or a drive-in way more than her living room—though after twenty-eight years (and after number five, which we'll get to), she has grown to love them both equally.
3. Sports (Exercise)
Thanks to Regina's TV she learned what people did for activities. And she learned that she loved sports. Though, she would never admit that to anyone. She loved to run, swim and even climb. She loved the physical exertion.
She knew that she didn't have magic to keep her form, but she also learned that she really liked having to work for it. She'd developed a schedule over the years. She would run every weekday morning before Henry woke up either around the neighborhood or on her treadmill. On Saturdays she would wake up and go to the gym for a good swim, or to climb the wall (which was the gym's main selling point).
She would hear people talking in the town about how they didn't like working out but they knew they had to if they wanted to get that 'muffin top' off. After she learned what a muffin top was, she would always shake her head when she heard these conversations.
She didn't understand why people didn't like working out. She LOVED it. She loved it more than sex… at least she did before number five.
4. Cooking
When she started watching cooking shows, she knew that she had to try everything they made. And when the Internet became easy to access and she had recipe after recipe… Well, her world turned upside down with flavor.
It felt like magic.
She was creating these meals from scratch.
…And they were gooooood!
She loved slicing and dicing and chopping and mashing and sprinkling and heating and boiling and stirring and peeling and zesting and any other adjective that describes cooking and baking.
She didn't like one (cooking or baking) more than the other, but she only started baking in the last fifteen years. She started baking after Henry came along. She had a reason to spoil her perfect diet, and Henry's cherubic face was reason enough to spoil him with treats.
…and her number five loves that she loves to cook.
5. Love
Love. It was something that she was not supposed to have ever again. Her love died… Twice. She wasn't supposed to have it again.
But she did. Yes, it took a while to come to terms with it; to understand it, but she did.
It was the day that Emma and Snow returned that she knew that something was going to change. Something was going to change fast, and it was going to be really hard.
She and Charming were arguing outside her house about Henry's care when it seemed as though the heavens opened and spit the mother and daughter out. Snow, of course landed on her feet like a cat, and Emma 'gracefully' fell on her ass.
They both ran down, but she knew not to help. Emma refused her parents' help and stood on her own. She glanced to her then back to her dad, "You kept her alive."
"Well, you made a promise and I decided to keep it while you were gone."
"Thanks." She looked down and around. "I uh…" She looked to Regina, "Can I go inside?"
"Of course." Regina stepped aside then followed her to give Charming and Snow some privacy (they took about three seconds before they let themselves into the mansion).
She went to her kitchen and started in on her dinner. She knew the others were there, but she assumed that once Emma was done with whatever she was doing then they would leave. She was preparing a bruschetta chicken sandwich with homemade fries. She heard Charming and Snow mumbling to each other, but didn't listen because quite frankly my dears, she didn't give a damn.
She heard a jolt in both parents voices and their daughter's name before she heard Emma's rough, tired footfalls.
"Where is he?"
Regina didn't turn around, "You're father has been taking care of him." Regina turned around and swallowed a sudden lump as she studied her (attempted) scrubbed face, "Why don't you ask him?"
Emma, arms crossed, tilted her head up in both surprise and thought as she ever so slowly turned around to her parents, "Where's Henry?"
"He's at the apartment." David said, "Let's all go and show him the good news."
Emma nodded, "One sec." She turned back to Regina, "You coming?"
Regina gave the blonde a look, "No, I…" There that lump came again, "I can't spoil a family reuniting." She turned back around to her sandwich; she didn't know why she was being so civil though she knew she had been trying to be her old, naïve self for a while she only now felt genuine when she spoke.
Emma took in a deep breath, "Damn that smells good…" She looked longingly at the almost finished creation. "Can you make another?" She shook her head, "I-I-I-I-I mean I know that I have no business mooching off of you, but that just… smells so good."
Regina smiled a small smile, "Sure," She started as she moved around the kitchen. She knew that Emma would probably stuff it down her gullet as soon as it was in her hands, so she simply wrapped the sandwich and 2/3 of the fries in paper towels, "Do you need ketchup?"
Emma shook her head, as she stared confusingly as the sandwich, "You just… gave me your dinner?"
"Well, you need to see Henry, and he needs to see you, see that you're okay. And like I said, I can make another…"
Emma looked into her eyes at this moment. She looked into her eyes hard. She smiled once before she walked back to the dining room with her parents and they walked out of the house.
Regina set about making herself another sandwich.
She was catching up on her Grey's Anatomy, something she really did not think she'd have time to do considering everything that had happened and was going to happen. But, she found that she didn't know what was going to happen and the only thing she could do was wait, so she might as well wait and wonder if Arizona and Mark died.
Almost six episodes and almost five hours later, it was rounding 1 in the morning. She had started the latest episode and was just grinning at the TV while shaking her head as Arizona opened her door to find that there was no file, when she heard a knocking on her door. She paused it before getting up from her couch, out from the cocoon she had nestled herself into and went to her door to find Emma Swan standing at her door.
"Emma…?" The blonde's first name just kind of fell from her mouth. She had no reason for it.
"Regina." Emma stared at her. It was an intense, scrutinizing, analytic stare. "Why are you awake?"
"I was just—"
"It's one in the morning. You should be asleep if you think you're going to get up for your jog."
Regina knit her brows, "How do you know that I—?"
"I stalked you when I wasn't sure if you loved him." Emma waved it off before she barged in, "Can I stay here?"
"Um… I don't think that that would be—"
"They're my parents…" Emma plopped on the bottom two stairs and looked at her, "They're my parents and they're trying to make up for the 28 years lost and I haven't even been back here for a day and things are just… I can't… I can't deal with this right now. I haven't had time to process anything that I've been through and seen—You're mom's a real bitch by the way. A real bitch."
Regina snorted, "That's one word for her." She said as she closed the door and locked it.
Emma stared at the lock on the door, "That mean I can stay?"
Regina nodded, "Of course you can, Sheriff."
"So, why are you still up? Trying to figure out how to take over the town again?" her tone was light and playful, but at the same time sarcastic, so it was very dry.
Regina blushed, "No." She gave the blonde a closed mouth smile.
"Trying to take over everyone's minds again and erase them and curse them once more?"
She shook her head. "The last time I used magic was on Daniel."
"Daniel…?" Emma knit her brows, "Didn't he die?"
"Frankenstein brought him back to life."
Emma stared blankly for almost a full minute before she stood with a stomp, a clap, and a pointed finger, "Whale!"
"Yes." The brunette tried to hide her amusement from the blonde.
"So, he brought your boyfriend back to life and then you did what?"
"I made him disappear. I put him back. He was in pain." She looked away.
"You had to kill your boyfriend?"
Regina had tears in her eyes, "In a sense, yes."
"Why aren't you using magic?"
"Because it only leads to trouble. It turns me evil; I want Henry. I can't be evil if I get to have him."
Emma nodded, "You can't even like poof cakes or something… Poofing, isn't that what you do? Poofing and fireballs? That's all I remember from the book."
Regina gave her a look, "If you recall I cursed most fairytale characters here with no memory but the ones I gave them…"
Emma pursed her lips, "Right…" She looked down at her watch, "Seriously, why are you awake?"
"You were knocking on my door…"
Emma knit her brows, "Yeah, I wasn't pounding…"
"I haven't been sleeping well lately."
The blonde nodded, "I hear that." She stretched her arms and turned a bit, "The light's on." She started down the hall a little bit, "So's the TV." She turned back to Regina who followed her. "You were watching TV?"
"I was flipping channels; like I said, I've been having trouble sleeping lately…"
Emma was disbelieving, "You remember that I'm a human lie detector?" She looked at the cocoon, "Besides, if you were flipping channels then the TV wouldn't be paused. It's paused because you were into what you were watching."
Regina narrowed her eyes, "Why are you so analytic of everything I may or may not do?"
"Because." The blonde plopped into the cocoon Regina left and kicked off her shoes before patting next to her, "Come on! I showered and shaved!"
Regina walked in front of her but only crossed her arms and stared down at her, "I would like a real answer."
"Because I've been in fricken fairytale land for the last however long and I'm curious as to the changes you've made."
"You were scrutinizing before you were pulled into that portal, but now everything about you is lighter."
Emma shrugged, "Your mom's a bitch…" She shrugged again as if hoping that that answer would explain everything, "I don't like her." She supplied, knowing that the first four words weren't enough. With a pull of her feet onto the couch in front of her, a wrap of an arm around her legs and a sudden intense interest with the thread of the seam of the arm off the couch, Emma spoke quietly, "I understand you now… I mean, I understood you before, but I really get it now." She paused for a long moment, "I think you just need someone to look out for you."
"And you decided to be that person?" She huffed a sigh, "I don't need anyone."
Emma looked up at the brunette as she bit her lip, "Yes you do." The lip went right back in her mouth.
"Why have you dubbed yourself?"
"Because I like you."
"You hate me."
Emma waved it off, "Eh, it all depends on where you're standing; when you move you get a different perspective."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means that I wanted you to think that I hated you; it's a defense mechanism."
"Being abrasive and rude is a defense mechanism?" Regina gave the blonde a look.
"Yeah." The blonde put her feet back on the floor and leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees. Her voice was monotone; she was clearly trying to keep it together as she made her point, "I knew that I'd fall for you if I did anything but 'hate' you. In the long run though, I should have known that I'd fall for you anyways…" She finally took the chance to look up.
Regina's face was blank. She stared at the blonde a long time, "Are you… are you saying that you're in love with me?" The last four words came out as a whisper.
"I'm not sure. I've never been in love, so I don't know what it feels like. I don't think I'm there entirely. But, I know that I could finish falling in love with you… if you let me."
Regina shook her head, "I… I can't—
"S'okay." Emma shrugged, "I can wait 'til you can." She gave a lopsided grin as she watched the picture bounce around the TV screen from being paused for too long, "Can I still stay here?"
"Of course." Regina had clearly lost her mind… completely.
"What are you watching?" The blonde finally took her eyes off the screen to look back at the brunette.
"Grey's Anatomy."
Emma's face contorted first with confusion then with enjoyment, "Okay…" She shook her head before scooting over, knowing she had taken Regina's spot. It was her way of asking her to come sit down.
Regina took the offer and sat crisscross on her usual cushion. She grabbed the remote and pushed play. Before the end of the episode, Emma had fallen asleep on Regina. Regina found that she didn't mind. She stroked the blonde's hair and cheeks for a long while after the episode ended. She felt herself begin to dream of possibility.
That was never a good thing.
She sat back and tried to push the thoughts of having Emma protect her out of her mind. It was impossible. She was Snow's daughter. She was the product of true love. She couldn't protect true evil. But she'd never felt like she was evil. She was only dubbed evil. And she was really trying with Henry. Maybe they were meant to be because she's Henry's other mother—Oh no, Regina… She thought as she rounded back to possibility.
She hadn't noticed the tender lips on her palm and wrist until about the fifth time her palm and wrist passed Emma's mouth. She looked down to see the blonde awake once more, "Sorry." Regina immediately retracted her hand.
Emma shook her head and pulled the hand back, "No, it's relaxing."
Regina pulled her hand from the blonde once more after said blonde tried to intertwine their fingers. "I'm going to go to bed." She stood up and turned everything off. It wasn't until she was at the stairs that she realized that Emma was following her, "Good, I do have a guest room up here."
Emma nodded, "Cool."
Regina stopped and pointed as they got to the guest room and Emma nodded once more then turned to the brunette. "If you need anything, I'll be down that hall."
Emma watched her until the door shut. She waited exactly five minutes before she walked down the hall to Regina's room. She quietly opened the door, but Regina was on full alert and was sitting up before Emma could take even a step in the room. She took her chances anyway—she had been sucked into a portal, met Regina's mom, watched her change from a black dude that she killed back to her white woman self before she was almost killed by an ogre then climbed a beanstalk where she was almost killed by a giant then trapped in Aurora's dream-reality thing before she was finally thrust back onto the mayor's walkway (where it all began)… She was going to take her chances with walking into her not so secret love's room and trying to cuddle, which by the way she never thought she'd do—or so she told Regina.
The brunette though stared at her warily. With each step Emma took, Regina tried to force herself to say something. She couldn't though. Possibility stopped her every time. When Emma got in the bed, she simply turned around and waited (more like hoped) that she would pull close behind her. The brunette tried everything to stop the grin that came to her face.
"I see that." Emma's whisper had a smile to it.
The brunette made her face go blank and Emma laughed, "Do you secretly like me as much as I like you?"
Regina only opened her eyes and stared at her clock.
"Blink once if you like me but think it will never work; or twice if you like me, think it will never work, but will give me a chance to prove you wrong."
Regina's eyes were suddenly watery and she blinked about ten times.
"I don't have a thing for fifty-bajillion times…" She bit her lip, "Look at me if you might possibly give me a chance after or if I'm lucky while things settle."
Regina swallowed hard and turned a bit on her back. She kept her eyes closed for a moment before finally looking at the blonde.
Emma smiled, "I'm glad I snuck out. I've been thinking about this everyday while I was in the good ol' FTL." When Regina knit her brows, Emma supplied, "Fairytale land." She settled in as close as possible, practically suctioning herself to Regina's backside, "I thought about you more than… than anything." She said sleepily as she held tight to Regina's middle.
They had a very bumpy start, but the end result; the result she was living with now made Regina thankful for the five things she learned in Storybrooke—especially number five.