Title: I love the word warm

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton

Warnings: aftermath of brainwashing/torture; Bucky is so very tragic; I know nothing about service dogs/being a CEO/fashion; spoilers for bad SyFy movies and iThe Last Unicorn/i

Pairings: pre-Steve/Bucky, Natasha/Clint, Pepper/Tony

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 5015

Point of view: third

Prompt: Bucky/Steve, Bucky didn't know he could choose things for himself + feels

Break my heart, people.

5 times Bucky was told he could pick whatever he wanted from somewhere (a clothing store, food, a haircut, anything) and his response were big, hopeful puppy eyes and "Anything I want?" And it broke Steve's heart.

+ 1 time he didn't even get told, he just ran to the hills and picked whatever he wanted in glee because Jesus H. Christ he can pick what he wants now!

Break Steve's heart. Break my heart.

Bucky always wears his hair up. Steve keeps hairties in their quarters in massive quantities, and starts carrying some, too, because unless they're in his hair, Bucky forgets until he needs them. Steve's pretty sure Hydra never did anything with Bucky's hair because they just didn't give a shit, and while he was on his vengeance spree, Bucky didn't do anything with it, either.

"Well," Sam says when Steve comments on it for at least the tenth time, "does he know he can do whatever he wants with it? The dude's been a puppet for over half a century, Steve."

Steve just stares at him. Sam raises an eyebrow. "Seems like a conversation you should have, Cap."

.

So Steve tracks Bucky to the roof, where he's having a staring contest with a pigeon. The pigeon wins because Bucky's eyes go immediately to Steve. He doesn't quite smile, but Steve grins back, anyway.

It's windy and Bucky's hair keeps blowing into his face. Steve silently offers him a hairtie and Bucky just as silently takes it.

"Do you," Steve starts, hunkering down beside him as the pigeon flies away. "Bucky, do you like your hair?"

Bucky blinks at him. He's said maybe 20 complete sentences since Steve found him and brought him home, trying to be invisible, keeping to himself. And now, Steve's wondering if he realizes that people don't mind his company – that they actually ilike/i him to be present. Shit. Steve's fucked this whole thing up.

"I just… you can change it if you want, you know?" Steve says. "Think about it, okay? If you like it the way it is, that's fine, but if you want it to be different, you ican/i make it different." He tries smiling again, but Bucky's face is utterly blank and it hurts. Bucky used to be so expressive.

He carefully reaches out to pat Bucky's shoulder, watching Bucky's face for any sign at all that he doesn't want it; when Bucky doesn't react negatively, he carefully squeezes before standing up and backing off.

"Dinner is gonna be on Bruce's floor tonight," Steve tells him. "We'd all enjoy your company, if you want to come."

Bucky doesn't say anything. Steve tries smiling again and then he heads down to the gym because he needs to destroy something.

.

Bucky shows up at dinner long enough to drop a sketch into Steve's lap and grab one of the ready-made plates Bruce put together. Everyone says hey and he nods, then he's gone.

Steve examines the sketch: it's one of his, from the early days of him following Bucky around the world as they both burned Hydra to the ground. In it, Bucky is wearing the Winter Soldier's armor, and his face is the Winter Soldier's, but his hair – Steve puts the sketch on the table, closing his eyes.

Natasha picks it up. "What's the significance, Steve?" she asks.

He opens his eyes in time to see Stark making gimme hands and watches in silence as the sketch makes the rounds of the table, before Pepper hands it back to him.

"It's lovely, Steve," she says softly, handling it with care.

Steve sighs, staring down at quite possibly the most heartbreaking drawing he's ever done of Bucky. "Everything in here is what Hydra did to him," he explains. "The gear they gave him. The arm. I took the Bucky I pulled out of that goddamned factory and put him into the Winter Soldier."

Not even Stark says anything.

.

In the morning, Steve waits on his and Bucky's couch. Bucky exits his room wearing one of the pairs of gray sweatpants and one of the shirts Steve gave him, hair loose around his shoulders.

Steve holds up the sketch. "This is the hair you want?"

Bucky nods. Steve says, "Then this is the hair you'll have."

.

Of course Stark flies in his favorite barber. The man cuts Bucky's hair in his and Steve's dining room and Bucky is completely still throughout the entire process. Steve looms in the corner, eyes on Bucky's face, but he's blank. Like he's not even there.

But when it's over and he sees his reflection – he actually smiles.