A/N: Spoilers for Mass Effect 3. Summary: In his final days, Thane slips into memories of his last love.
I didn't like how Thane's romance was handled in ME3, so I wrote this short story to fill in the gaps and do justice to his relationship with Shepard. Some dialogue later will be taken from in-game, with my changes. No copyright infringement intended.
"Slipping"
The room is silent, save for the faint hum of machines, the hiss of oxygen flowing into my mask. Each breath feels like drowning. My limbs tingle unpleasantly and my eyelids feel heavy, but I hang on to consciousness. I have so few waking moments left. I cannot afford to sleep through them.
Kolyat sits on a chair in the corner of the room, reading. I can't speak to him. I have little enough air to fill my lungs, let alone talk. I've explained to him before that he needn't stay when I'm like this, but he insists on sitting with me. And I thank the goddess Arashu for his forgiveness. It's very difficult for drell to forgive, as there is no forgetting. The smallest slight lives on for eternity, relived in an instant. And my slight against him was not at all small. He is so much like his mother.
My thoughts wander. As I often do when I am forced to lie here in this hospital bed, clinging to every breath, I think of Shepard. My heart fills with worry. Earth was attacked by Reapers only days prior, and I haven't heard whether she escaped the onslaught. I am driven to near madness, thinking she may already be dead. Or worse, turned into one of those things… a mindless husk, a monstrous shell with her face…
My breath turns even still more ragged, and I hack out several gurgling coughs. Kolyat is by my side at once.
"Father, are you all right?" His face is filled with concern. "Should I call for a nurse?"
I shake my head and wave him off.
"Are you sure?"
I nod. The medicine the nurses give me does make the pain go away for a time, but leaves me so drowsy that I drift in and out of dreamless sleep. I don't want to sleep. I can sleep when I've passed across the sea.
Kolyat settles back into his chair, and I attempt to clear my mind of panicked thoughts. Instead, I allow myself to slip into memories of my siha.
ooo
Sharp music pounds in my ears. Flashes of color dart across the dimly lit club. Siha had promised to treat the crew to drinks on the Citadel if we survived the Collector base, and she was true to her word. As she, Joker, and Dr. Chakwas reminisce about the old Normandy, I observe the others. Jack and Yeoman Chambers are teaching Tali provocative dance moves. Mordin consults with the bartender about the most effective concoction of beverages to get a tank-bred krogan intoxicated. Jacob and Garrus stand at the bar nearby, trading war stories.
I hear a lull come over the conversation at our table and I clear my throat. "Siha," I say, "would you care to dance?"
Joker and Dr. Chakwas both laugh.
I blink at them in surprise. "Is something funny?"
Garrus has overheard and puts a hand on my shoulder, grinning. "Thane, I'm afraid our illustrious leader can't dance."
Siha crosses her arms. "I can dance," she protests.
"So can elcor," Joker says, "but that doesn't mean they should."
"You're one to talk," she replies indignantly.
"That's different. Your limbs work fine. I could break a tibia."
"Surely she can't be that bad," I insist.
"Famous last words," Garrus says, still grinning. "Famous last words."
Siha looks up at me and takes my hand. "I would love to dance, Thane," she says, a defiant note in her voice.
She leads me to the dance floor, the music shifts. We begin to move.
The beat of the music is steady, strong – but her movements are almost erratic and haphazard. Her arms are everywhere and her feet step on mine more than once. Laughter ripples out of me. She looks ridiculous. How can someone so graceful on the battlefield be so lacking on the dance floor?
She gives me a sheepish smile. "They warned you."
"No warning… could have… prepared me for this!" I manage to say between gasps for air.
We hear more laughter coming from the sidelines as the crew take in the spectacle she is making of herself. Siha continues to dance, undaunted. "I've never seen you laugh like that before," she shouts over the music.
My laughter subsides into chuckles. She can't hear them, but I feel little wheezing coughs come up as well. I ignore them, and smile at her. "I didn't have reason to."
She rewards me with a grin that makes her gray eyes sparkle in the colored lights. She twirls in a circle, continuing to move clumsily with abandon.
My siha is fearless.
ooo
When I emerge from the memory, Kolyat has looked up from his book and is watching me. "You were thinking of Commander Shepard?" he says, more a statement than a question.
I nod and raise my brow questioningly.
"You were smiling," he answers. "You almost always smile when you think of her."
My breathing is easier now, and I remove my oxygen mask momentarily to speak. "It was… a good memory."
Kolyat nods. "I'm glad for you, Father. You deserve someone who makes you happy."
Once more, my heart swells with pride. He is a good son. So much more than I deserve.