Freedom From Fear

by Valkyrie Vanquish

One-shot. M/A. Eventually something’s gotta give. Be it in case of making a stand or acknowledging what Max has been trying to deny.

Freedom from Fear

A work of fan fiction by Valkyrie Vanquish

Summary: One-shot. M/A. Eventually something's gotta give. Be it in case of making a stand or acknowledging what Max has been trying to deny.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Angel

Author's Note: My second attempt of one-shot. This is my story version of life after freak nation. Feedback will be greatly appreciated.

************

"No, Alec."

Well, what other word did he expect? It did come with his name after all.

"Maxie-"

A look.

"Max, it's just a small gathering among friends."

"What part of 'no' didn't you understand?"

"What part did you actually say no for? The party? The location? The time? The people invited? The promise of fun?"

Max looked confused for a moment before she answered him. "Well, everything I guess."

"You object the idea of fun? Really?" He stared at her in disbelief.

"No, of course not," she sputtered. "It's just… It's not carefully planned, that is all."

"It is too," he argued stubbornly. "I already have the entertainment, booze, and snack. I'd say it's a sound plan."

"You know the venue is highly hazardous, Alec. We haven't done a complete check."

"Well, it's the only area that can occupy three hundred people. And the toxic excuse? Really, Max?"

"It's not that. It's just not right there. I can feel it."

"And we're back to that." He nodded grimly. "Gee, Max, it's really amusing how your sixth sense always strikes whenever we wanted to do something other than waiting. I mean we've been in this lock-down for freakin' six months. People are going to combust with inaction here. Okay, you told us to wait, and we wait, but that doesn't mean that we sit on our asses and literally wait."

"Well, the last time my sixth sense struck, it did save your ass," she sniped.

"And that's like six months ago!" he yelled, frustrated. "Just admit it. There is no weird telepathic pre-sense about this. You just don't want us to have some fun, do you? Because it'd be so intolerable if we're not miserable like you."

"I'm not miserable," she shrieked. When the tone hit both their sensitive audio senses, she coughed and tried to recover the little inner peace that she still had. "I'm not against fun, okay? It's just in this situation and environment, it'd be better if we could control the fun." She frowned when she realized how wrong that sounded.

"Control the fun?" he choked out and burst out laughing.

"Okay, that's enough," she remarked drily, patiently waiting for his amusement to die down.

When it finally did, he smirked. "Jeez Max, all the power-trip gettin' into your head? Hitler, much?"

"O, you did not just call me that." She stood up, fire in her voice and eyes.

"What?" he asked innocently.

She pierced him with her eyes. When he didn't give her the reaction wanted, she shrugged and put on a neutral face. "Whatever. A no is a no."

"Maxie-"

"No, you don't get to call me names and then wheedle me into doing whatever stupid plan you hatched, and yes, it's stupid because it is your plan."

"Maxie, I'm not asking for your assistance. I'm just asking you to be there and have some fun."

"Which I won't be and have because there will be no gathering whatsoever."

"You are such a frustrating b-"

"Watch it there, Alec. One more name calling, and kiss the floor."

He glared and she glared back.

"You know just because you don't have a life doesn't mean that others around you shouldn't have either. I mean I, for instance, did have a social life before you got us all locked down here, and I'm willing to give some of that part up. Hell, I already gave all of it up. You know how long it's been since I've met my girlfriend?"

"You don't have a girlfriend, Alec," she pointed out dryly.

"Well, not yet I haven't, but I might've if you let me out once in a while."

"Don't be ridiculous. Thirty minutes of rocking some skank-ho's world isn't a pursuit of a relationship."

"Of course, for you two years of itch is a relationship. Wait, wait, maybe that latex hand-holding was the climax you've both been waiting for." His eyes widened in mock surprise.

"Shut up, asshole."

"Bitch."

"Dick."

"Dementor."

"Did you just call me demented!?" she screeched.

"No, dementor from Harry Potter," he corrected calmly. All those six months in lock-down had given him a chance to catch up with some readings.

When she still looked at him with indignation in her eyes, he sighed. "They're creatures that emanate coldness and suck out the happiness from a person."

"And which part of it supposed to make it better!?" Offence was upped to rage.

"I call it the way I see it," he replied still in calmness.

"So you see me kicking your ass then." She stalked forward with every nuance promising pain.

"You wanna kick my ass, fine. But first you're going to listen to me whether you want to or not. I'm not doing this to make things difficult for you, okay? It's just these past few months, all we've been doing is waiting and worrying. We don't get to go anywhere and don't get to do things. This is not what living's all about, Max." His expression was troubled as he added softly. "This is not what you promised us."

She gasped at the soft accusation, the hurt tightening her chest.

His facial expression cleared as he heard her gasp. Seeing the betrayed expression on her face, he stepped forward, hands moving to reach for her.

She stepped back as she hissed angrily, "You wanna have your little party? Then go have it. I don't know why you even bother asking me when it's so obvious that you don't trust me." Her voice stuttered a bit when she continued, "I never thought that you of all people would be the one questioning me. Guess you never did trust me."

"Max," his eyes pleaded with her, his hand reaching out, "I trust you with my life."

"Do you, now?" She laughed bitterly, avoiding looking at him. "Well go, Alec. Go and party it if it means living to you. You don't wanna be infected with my misery and coldness, do you?"

"Maxie," his voice was pleading with her now.

"Alec, just go," she whispered softly, the heartbreak evident in her tone.

Because he didn't know how to fix this, he turned around and did what she asked without a protest; it might be the very first time he had ever done it. Yet when Max heard him leaving without objection, it was as if her greatest fear had become reality. She wondered what else she had lost besides his trust.

************

Try as he might, Alec couldn't bring himself to work up the party mood, which made everyone around him puzzled as he was the one who organized the gathering.

Right now, he just felt low and small. He couldn't believe all the ugly words he had said in front of her. And the worst part of it all was the look she had given him, full of utter betrayal and pain.

He didn't know what made him behave like that. Well maybe he did, but somehow it couldn't justify the heartbreak he caused. It didn't matter that he had been angry with her for these past six months after she had broken up with Logan, right after the hand-holding session. Of course, at first the feeling from the incident hadn't been one of anger, more like relief and, if he dared to acknowledge it, probably one of hope as well. However, gradually as time progressed, the anger settled and kept growing. Because after she had let the relationship go, it was as if she didn't allow herself to recover from it. She grew colder and colder. All the free time she had, she spent working. Every day she went about making things better when in actuality everything was static at TC. What was the use of improvement when the future was so indistinct in front of them, he had argued. The best thing to do was to make the best of their time in lock-down as they could, he had suggested. She had scoffed at him and continued working herself to death. Like she just wouldn't allow herself to be pulled out of the state of misery she was in; like it was wrong to be happy. Then again, the thing that had brought out the anger was probably the fact that she didn't allow him to help her out of that state of doom.

But it really shouldn't matter. So he meant nothing to her. It was nothing new. He had dealt with it. Those are facts that he had been familiar with for a long time. Still, after that look on her face, he had started turning over the alleged veracity. Maybe, just maybe, his say did matter to her, and maybe he hadn't really dealt with it, seeing the effects of his words had struck him just as hard as it had her.

Looking around him, he saw that the party had carried on without him. He hadn't told her that actually during the time he had been asking for a go to have the party, it had already started. He had figured she would say no anyway, so he had decided to do it anyway and think up a plan of getting away with it later.

Suddenly a thought struck him hard. There was no getting away with this because she might just not care anymore to even be mad at him. Consequently, that abrupt realization scared him more than any mental torture that Manticore psy-ops could cook up with on their best days.

"Go home, people. The party's over!" he shouted over to the crowd. Ignoring the gaping mass, he started steering people towards the exit so that he could begin with the cleaning up. He was in such a rush that he knocked over a table of drinks. It tumbled, and the drinks were all over the floor. Some seeped over to the blanketed mound in the corner of the room that he had failed to check before.

And surprise, because although corrupted wires' insulation and liquid and electric current would probably not damage him thanked to the rubber sole under his favorite boots, but metal in sole under said boots and corrupted insulation and liquid and electric current? So yeah…

The blast that had thrown him across the room probably had saved his life, but the unexpected shock caused by the current had been apparently strong enough to make him lost consciousness for he didn't know how long. All he knew was, when he opened his eyes, there she was with softness in her eyes and hands.

For a moment, he simply enjoyed the rare attention before his brain warned him about the underlying peril of her wrath. Finally, when he saw the irritation rose on the surface of her expression, he closed his eyes as if in pain, pretending aneurysm.

"Open your eyes, Alec," Max's voice was suspiciously soft and melodic.

"Concussion…," he whispered dramatically, wondering at the support of the croakiness in his voice, which was probably caused by the shock.

Then, just like that, she dropped him from her lap. That bitch.

He opened his eyes and was about to protest but wisely kept his mouth shut at the disdain look on her face.

"And you thought people are going to combust in inaction when actually, they could, like you, combust with stupidity. Get your ass off the ground and clean up this area."

And because she was a sadist, she smacked him upside his head and added, "Dumbass." Admittedly the concussion was faked, but he was freaking injured for crying out loud.

For a moment, he forgot he was a transgenic as he numerated all the things that could happen to him. Right this minute, he could have respiratory arrest along with extreme pain or even ventricular fibrillation. He could even die.

Still, it was typical that she thought all his injuries were minor. Should've learned from that heartfelt 'been there, done that' expression of sympathy.

So his heart shouldn't in actuality have felt like it would burst from elation at the scornful look on her face and the heartless comment. Nevertheless, to be put back in the position as a reliable screw-up on her side was better than nothing. He could work with that term, could definitely work his way up as maybe later not just-

A thought suddenly occurred to him. Maybe she was not a sadist. Maybe he was a masochist.

************

A week after the incident, he was at her office, lounging around as usual, when a terrible notion hit him unexpectedly.

"Tell me the truth. Did you know there were brittle cables in that location or was it all really premonition?"

"It wasn't a premonition," Max answered a bit sheepishly.

"You knew there might be a chance, in which I did, that I get electrocuted and didn't warn me about it?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, of course not. What do you think I'm some kind of monster or something?" She scowled at the answering look at his face. "You bring up that dementor stuff again and I promise to give you a real concussion this time."

"Look, Max, about that-"

"It's just I always felt this intense pressure whenever I was in that area. I guess that just came from the charge. Great that we came upon that finding by the way; TC could always use a new energy source," she cut him off before he could say anything about their last dispute.

"Yeah, it's almost worth getting me killed," he grumbled, still a bit upset at her brusqueness over his injury.

"Alec, don't be so dramatic. Nothing's going to happen to you, you know that."

"Oh really, and why not?"

"Because I won't allow it, that's why." The words had slipped out of her mouth before she realized the implication of them.

Every sarcastic comment that was about to pass from his lips immediately crashed. He was stunned for a minute before his face brightened in such intensity that she had to look away.

"So-"

"Shut up."

"I was just-"

"Can it, Alec."

"Maxie-"

"Can you get everyone in that hall or lobby that you secured? Tell them there's going to be a meeting?" She abruptly asked him as she tried to focus back to the paper in front of her.

He stared at her for a moment before he nodded. "Sure thing, Maxie. Anything for you."

For just that remark only, she looked up to give him a glare, thinking he was mocking her, but she would have never expected the warmth in his voice to be reflected in his eyes.

************

"Are we here because you got us in trouble over that party?" Dalton asked him as he slightly fidgeted. "Because I really don't want Max to be pissed at me."

"Relax, Dalton. Geez, and by the way, it wasn't my idea alone to have that party. You were the one who was mouthing off to me about the point of having a birthday and not celebrating it," Alec replied in the same anxiety that the younger transgenic was projecting. The only difference was that he was curious in addition to his apprehension.

"Yeah, whose birthday was it anyway?"

"Beats me," Alec answered, unconcerned.

"We're so dead."

"Shut up, kid."

The population of TC slowly filled out the hall. There was mostly anxiousness in their faces because they had never had such a meeting like this before except the day after the lockdown, and that had not exactly gone down well. As much as they had been against Max a few months back, they now appreciated the fact that she had stuck by them and had taken care of every single one of them.

Then she entered the hall, and the entire room fell into an uneasy silence. Carrying a box that contained small cards, she went straight to a corner where there was a high table standing, and put the box on top of the table. She then proceeded to carry the table plus box to the middle of the room. The crowd parted to give way, and some offered a hand, but she just rolled her eyes as an answer.

"As some of you might know, well, all of you actually, there was an accident here involving electricity and unheeded warning," she began, and the crowd was looking pointedly at Alec.

Traitors. All of them, really.

However, Max waved her hand indifferently, "Yes, yes, and I suppose all of you who were also there are innocent?" She raised one perfect eyebrow along with the question.

Some nodded their heads vigorously while others only stared at the apparently interesting spot on top of their head. Max was partly amused at their juvenile behavior, but another part of her was a bit disappointed. Where was the defiance? Where was the snarkiness? Where was 'what we do is none of your business, you controlling bitch' stare? Guess the disenchanted part was only her inner bitch talking, because, really, she couldn't help but feel elated at the thought of them finally liking her?

Of course, the crowd didn't need to know the thought running around her head, so she rolled her eyes and faked apathy. "Whatever. Relax, people. I'm not pointing finger here. Just thought, you all would like to know that I come up with a great idea."

"Is she talking about punishment?" Dalton whispered in Alec's direction. Seriously, the kid needed to stop. Wasn't it enough that OOC Max was freaking him out, passing the chance to lay a world of blame on him, in addition, the kid had to give suggestions of the incoming, more sadistic plan of their great leader?

"No, it's not some sort of penalty. I can hardly assign all of you for latrine duty. Well, the only thing I can think of is placing a sort of guarding post in the sewer, in every sewer that connects us to the city. What do you think?"

A horrified flinch would be an understatement.

"Geez, people, can't you take a joke?"

Stiffly choking out what had seemed like a laugh in their mind, the crowd looked somewhat relief despite their guarded expression.

"Seriously, guys, I'm not Renfro."

"Could've fooled us," was shouted way out in the back, but she had a feeling who the proprietor of that faked screechy tone of voice.

She glared for a moment at the direction of the nowhere-to-be-seen sidekick, before she realized she was frightening an X7, being coincidentally at the receiving end of her silent death threats.

"Anyway," she coughed, "I've realized that these past few months weren't exactly a picnic in the park. Guess I never gave you guys a break, being in a lockdown and all. I was just trying to keep my promise of keeping all of you guys safe, but along the way I've cared more about keeping it safe more than your wellbeing here all cooped up."

"It's time for me to rectify that. In case you're wondering whom to thank for this eye-opener, let me just say that when you see him, tell him that I owe his ass a kick."

Notably, the quiet laugh was genuine now.

She then picked up a small card from the box in front of her and secured it between her forefinger and middle finger, holding it up for everyone to see. "This card here is a ticket. Each one of you will get one of this, and I'll explain to you the options you have in using your ticket."

"What is she doing?" Dalton's question was directed at Alec, even though his eyes were focused solely at the card that Max was holding.

"Controlling the fun," he answered with laughing voice.

"Okay, let me now just go into details with what you can have or do with your ticket. Option one: you can spend two nights out of TC in any city you want, given that it's still within the state. We even pay for your trip, book your accommodation, and provide you with a ride and sector passes, just as long as you won't forget to report back to us every now and then according to the arranged schedule. And because in and out of TC trips are pain in the ass, we can only grant one person's request per week."

"Option two: you have the right to request an article you want with your ticket, providing that it's achievable. A wait for this kind of request is probable considering that I'm not a freakin' Santa Clause."

"Option three: in regard of the previous incident, this ticket allows you to have a party, a safe and monitored party," she paused, hearing that annoying snicker so close to her ear, which was probably meant that Alec finally had the balls to move into the area of promised world of pain. "Because the last time the area hadn't been cleared, somebody's ass got electrocuted," she looked up from the note, she was holding, straight into his eyes. There was no way in hell she would ever let him live this down. "So, again, we will provide with everything that the party needs. After we have checked whatever location it is to get your freaky goin', on condition that it is thoroughly secured, then it's a go."

"One more thing to option three, one ticket will buy you a party consisting of ten people, which means, people, if you're going to invite the whole city you'd need about thirty tickets," she looked around, inspecting the response on the addition. When someone's (Alec's) face fell at the extra term, she gave in and invented a new term to fix the last one. "Of course, the very first gathering, involving the whole population, requires only ten tickets."

Seeing him smiling so smugly as if he knew that she had changed the rule in his benefit only, she felt compelled to add, "But I need a really good excuse for the festivity, and not just some kind of bullshit because ten people want to celebrate their birthday together." Still, the smug smile was there as if pasted on his face.

"Meeting's over people. Applications will be individually evaluated in about thirty minutes. I'll see you at the command."

She walked rapidly out of the hall into the street, heading for the command building.

"Max, hey Max," Alec called out to her as he followed her on the way.

"Here," Max handed him two cards of the so-called ticket.

"What are these?" He had an idea what those were. The significance of them was albeit lost in translation.

"Mine and yours. Go have your four nights out and find that stupid girlfriend you seem eager on having," she said it with no emotion whatsoever.

"What?" he asked stupidly.

She stopped in her track and turned to him. "My purpose in life is not to make your life miserable, Alec. No matter how much you'd like to believe that."

"Max, what I said the other day-"

"I don't want you hating me for dragging you down into all this," she cut him off, not really wanting him to apologize for something that she secretly thought was true. Still, she had to admit that some of the words had hurt somewhat fierce. "Though you can't expect to say something like that and think that it didn't touch me, because it did." She gazed up to him with an imploring look that stabbed him right through his chest. "Because among all the three hundred or more transgenics in TC, you're the only one I could imagine sharing our freedom with. But I don't want to lose you before we achieve that."

His heart soared at the unexpected declaration.

"You're my friend, and I care about you, Alec."

Then the flight was caught suspended in the air, but it didn't crash down. Because as much as the statement was new, the following sentence was not, and he had lived with it, walked life along the line of it, resisting the pull to the misaligned side.

"That's why I need you to believe in me."

At that moment, he saw her the way she never saw herself. That future was there in her, and she was everything, a connection, a meaning, a cause. Confidence could build you a castle but doubt to oneself promised civilization and continuity of existence. To have that vulnerability presented to him alone was a bittersweet joy. And he wanted to say that he had believed in her for a long time, from the moment he had come out of her cell with a boot print on his chest. Believed in her still, and would always believe in her to the end of his short life expectancy.

"What do I get for it?" Well, he never said that he was going to be uncomplicated about it.

"Four days of paid sex in a seedy motel?"

"Maxie, I don't pay for sex." At least not anymore.

"No one said you'd have to, because it's business expense."

"Maxie," he shook his head in mocked sadness, locking his amusement in, "All this attack on my virtue and you expect to win me over?"

"What virtue? The I-can-get-me-naked-in-three-seconds-tops kind? Thought, it was a compliment."

"You're walking on a thin line here, Maxie."

"I'll throw in a pack of condoms into the deal, and we're good?"

"Max," he could no longer hold his amusement now, "You really do know how to sweet-talk a guy."

************

"So, we're doing this for Max right?"

"For TC, Dalton."

"I didn't give up my ticket for TC."

"Just give me the rest of the stupid tickets."

"I have Josh's, Gem's, Dix's, Mole's, mine and yours. How'd you get Mole to give up his by the way?"

"By having a secret raid planned for those stinkin' cigars," Alec grumbled.

"We're still four tickets short."

"I know," Alec's mood darkened gradually as he recalled the four candidates for the coveted pieces of paper.

"I think we should definitely take Sean's and Brent's. Del and Caleb are just plain nasty bastards."

"They all are," Alec scowled.

"How did they know we're planning this anyway?"

"Liz told them."

"Because you buttered her up into giving up her ticket, and she found out it was for Max?"

Alec silently nodded.

"Well, we have to take 'em if we want this to go down as planned."

************

"You're ready?" he asked as he opened the door to his apartment. He scanned her appearance from head to toe and shook his head in disapproval.

"Max, I said, "Go and put on your best dress 'cause I have a surprise for you," not, "Go put on your combat boots and let's kill White." This won't do it. You'll have to go back and change."

"You said it was going to be fun," Max pouted slightly.

"And it will. It doesn't have to involve some ass-kicking."

She ignored him and moved past him into his apartment. "This is my best outfit," she lied stubbornly.

"Max, everyone's going to be all dressed up and you'll be the only one looking like some kind of macho, intimidating, unsocial bad-ass chick."

"Ya-huh."

"Go back and change. Just this one time, humor me, will you?" he entreated.

"I did, buddy. That sex-holiday ticket is pretty much humorous to me," she grinned.

Since when did she become so cheeky? Thought it was his job. "Which I haven't used yet. So do your buddy, Alec, a favor, please?"

She didn't budge.

"Maxie, do you know how much easier and time-efficient this would be if you'd just stop being difficult for once?" Frustration was building inside of him.

It had to be the kind of reaction she wanted because all of a sudden she smirked and did as he asked.

************

"That's my girl," he stared at her appreciatively.

"It's cold," she grumbled as she fidgeted in front of him, wearing a simple dark blue V-neck jersey dress and sandals with matching color.

"You want my jacket?" he offered.

"I have a jacket, Alec. It just didn't match the dress," she answered defensively.

"I swear, sometimes it's just like pulling teeth with you," he inhaled and exhaled slowly, preserving with each second the saintly patience that he still held. "Just trying to be gallant, Max."

"Well, don't. It's creepy."

"Oh I won't, I assure you. And, by the way, it's not that cold anyway."

"Ass."

"Trying to be gallant," he grumbled as he trotted behind her, "Must be some kind of head infliction."

"Do you even know where we're going?" he called out to her when he saw her sauntering confidently far ahead of him.

"I'm not stupid, you know. I figure with the first chance you get, you'd manage to loot some poor unsuspecting TC citizens their ten tickets away, which conveniently would save yours, and organize some kind of stupid and impractical event where everyone can't even get drunk enough to forget about it in the morning."

"I thought I heard a thank you somewhere along that line. You know where you thank me for saving you from another horrendous and bleak event that is you and spending your night alone."

"Nope, must be your head infliction," she bitched.

"Max, do me another favor? If this is your party persona, then I think it'll be better if you had left it behind with your jacket."

"What? And rob your head of the voice of the common sense that was never there in the first place?"

"You know, you enjoy this too much, don't you?" he eyed her skeptically.

"What does your head damage tell you to think now?"

"Bickering with me. It gives you some kind of sick alternative form of release, yes?"

"You expect one day to have children, no?" she mimicked him as her elbow hit his side.

He rubbed his sore side as he added begrudgingly, "Get ready to feel really, really bad."

"Why? I feel kinda better now," she smirked at him as she opened the door to the great hall where the event was held.

As she turned her attention towards the excitement inside the room, a captivated "Oh" escaped from her lips. She looked around in amazement. Her eyes took in everything intensively as if trying to capture the memorable scene and store it in her mind.

"Alec," she mustered softly, eyes glazed over. "I feel really, really bad right now."

He might've been able to shrug it off with some kind of innuendo like "how bad?" or something alike if she didn't dropped her next sentence in that adoring tone that he had never heard from her before.

"You do me proud, you."

And for the very first time in his life, he was speechless. He could literally feel his brain melting over that bright smile she had given him. When she cocked her head to the side to wait for his response, he had to force his mind to assemble itself enough to give her a reply, and it, naturally, served him with rambles.

"The paintings covering most of the wall over there are Josh's, but there are some pictures too, taken by, I don't know, fourteen people or more. You'll see them on the card under the pictures. And some of the tech-guys and a few others constructed some kind of video installation piece on each corner of the room. You should see some of them, they're quite artsy. Some also did their pieces, sculptures, junks assembled together creating I-don't-know-what-and-let's-not-ask. The room is newly painted, and few self-appointed decorators gathered their heads together to make the room a bit jazzier. Did I just say 'jazzier'? Edible party finger food at abundance and drinks are on that corner. Some of the X7 have offered to help in the serving department. Okay not offered as much as ordered, but before you start mouthing off humanitarian speeches and all that, do you know how efficient it is that they're operating with hive minds? Yes, bit creepy, but, hey, we're manticore, you know. You've seen creepier. And now, because I'm at heart a true humanitarian, we musn't forget recreational means: pool and foosball tables over there, poker area, and—who the hell put a karaoke stage over there?"

Max laughed warmly as he finished rambling on. For a moment, he was stupefied at her reaction, and then his face broke into a big grin.

"I do you proud, really?"

She nodded slowly.

"So here it is, Maxie. The surprise I planned for you. It's terribly impractical, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

Somewhere along the way, her heart tightened painfully, and it desperately was trying to tell her something as to why he did all this, as to why that she better acknowledged it. Because it might be her last chance. Which was why she then averted his gaze and focused her eyes on the other side of the room immediately. She never did trust her treacherous heart.

"So those are Josh's over there?" She walked swiftly across the room to examine the paintings.

"Yeah."

She had to mishear the disappointment in his tone because when she turned back to him, he was back to all smiles. Maybe she was projecting her own disappointment with herself in him.

"They're great. Where did he get these large canvases?"

"They weren't hard to get," he shrugged.

Despite the urge to comment his recklessness for getting them without her knowledge, she had to smile at the thought that it was so him to facilitate such necessities. For a moment, they stood there awkwardly, examining a painting but not really looking at it until it suddenly hit her. Her awareness of him outside what was to be expected of him. This was dangerous, she realized, because it was untimely unexpected, unwanted.

"Didn't think he could, right?" he asked smugly.

"What?" Could he have known what she was thinking?

"Josh. Admit it; you thought he could only draw abstracts. Never imagine that he actually has a talent and can draw portraits too."

"No, I did not think he could only draw abstracts," she replied defensively because it was all too true, what he had said.

"Yeah," he smirked, "If you're missing one of those abstracts anyway, then you'll find them in that little room over there. The Joshua #2-#1.000.000. Funny, how people's been trying to avoid that room all day."

Max rolled her eyes disdainfully at the idea of how ignorant people sometimes were. She marched straight into that little room that held Joshua's masterpieces and then found herself slowly backing up away from the room.

"That was a lot of Joshuas," she commented, still in daze.

Alec laughed at her dismayed expression as he was pulling her away from that area.

"Now, I feel extremely bad," she whined miserably, "Was he really drawing out his frustration, or was it just me?"

"Whatever his frustration was, he got over it, okay, Max? Don't go and put this on top of the list 'things I need to feel guilty of', because truthfully the drama is where it belongs now, which is in Josh's abstracts."

"Thank you, Alec, for the usual considerate remark. One more of the kind and White's presence would've made this party a perfect event."

"Just saying," he grinned as he held out a drink, he had snatched from a tray carried by a particularly grumpy X7, for her. "Enjoy the night and get your freaky goin'." Then he frowned as he continued, "And what's this obsession with White? Do you miss him or something?"

She almost sputtered her drink, "Miss him? What am I, demented?" She jabbed a finger in his chest, "Don't answer that. Besides you mentioned him first."

"Yeah sure, but I bet he's in your head like all the time," he accused.

Was it just her or did he sound a little jealous? Then she shook her head, "This conversation is getting ridiculous. What would you know about what's inside my head anyway? And did that kid over there just flip you off?" She pointed at the waiting X7.

"What?" He looked at the pointed direction and shrugged. "Bats and cats, you know how it is."

She blinked, "Is that supposed to make any sense?" She proceeded glaring at the kid. "Whatever it is going on between you two, there's no excuse for such behavior."

His eyes softened at the defending gesture. "Nah, kid's just having problem with authoritative instruction, and me, I just don't like bats in particular."

Right at that moment, a clearing cough was heard, transmitted from the microphone. "Attention, everyone. Can I have your attention, please?"

"Little fella made it?" Joshua suddenly joined them.

"Hey, Josh," Max gave him a good hug, "Where've you been? Great paintings by the way."

"Thanks, little fella." Joshua returned her hug and then turned his attention to Alec, "Alec ready for speech?"

"I'm not giving any speech, Josh. Just some few others."

"Alec not talk about Max as well?"

"Josh," Alec warned him with a quick glance thrown at Max.

"What? Why should they talk about me? What are you guys talking about?" Max was looking between the two of them in panic when she heard the mention of her name from the guy with the microphone.

"So I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that I can see your vision, Max, and I'm proud that we're making a stand. And I'm not just saying that because you're Manticore-hot," and the guy laughed at his own lame joke.

"I'm going to kill you," Max gritted out at Alec as she smiled tightly at the people around her who were watching her reaction.

"Shouldn't have let Brent go first," Alec muttered under his breath. "Max, I promise you, it'll get better, okay?"

"Alec," she turned to him, horrified, "You mean there's more!?"

"The first time I met Max at Manticore wasn't exactly something I'd like to recall every now and then," another guy started off. "I called her a traitor, and she called me a dick, but, hey, at least she didn't name me that right?" The crowd laughed quietly. "And at the beginning of the siege, I was giving her a hard time, so I kinda understand if she wanted to permanently call me 'Dick'. But then you proved yourself to us again and again that you're worthy of what we're calling you now, which is certainly not what Alec calls you. You are our leader, Max, and we'll follow you to a better future because we believe in you." He smiled brightly as he caught her eyes. "And, by the way, my name's Sean."

"Even my stomach feels raw from that amount of bullshit," Alec muttered in disgust at the end of the speech.

"Shut up, I kinda like him, and what have you been calling me by the way?" Max narrowed her eyes at him threateningly.

But Alec seemed to ignore the question in favor of the first part of the comment. "Seriously, that's your type? You like that kind of asshole?"

"No," Max gazed away from his sudden intense eyes, "I don't." Her eyes wandered to the stage where a transgenic female now was holding the microphone.

"Hi, everyone. I just have a thing or two to say about our Max. We've never spoken much, but each time we did, she always seemed so reserved. So I couldn't say I really know her well. Still, I found out recently that she'd arranged everything in TC so that our lives here meet the usual standards as close as on the outside. This idea in itself is amazing, you know, because no one had ever asked us if we were comfortable with our lives, or had worked at how to make our lives better without any ulterior motives. Her confidence in this time of crisis has lessened our fear of what to become of us, and for the first time in my life, I know what to expect of life. I just want to thank you Max, for giving us all this choice of perspective, which is much better than not having any at all."

Max immediately caught up with the transgenic after she went down from the stage.

"Thanks, Marie, that was a great speech," Max smiled gratefully at her.

"It's nothing that anyone wouldn't say, Max. You deserve our appreciation every once and a while." Marie smiled warmly back at her.

"You know we should hang out sometimes," Max offered genuinely.

"Sure, you know where to find me."

The next hours were filled with thank speeches, some good songs sung accomplishedly and some sung badly. It seemed almost everyone in TC had participated of taking the stage. Most of the people giving speeches had managed, like Marie, to stir her emotion, be it a short invitation for a date—from some guy named Caleb—or a long note of thank you. Yet as the night progressed, she realized that some of the people who were taking the stage didn't actually have anything to say, or were just some people, who didn't even like her, that someone had urged (possibly threatened) to say a thing or two about her.

"Alec," she turned to him, "What did you do?"

"What?" he looked a tad too innocent, "I didn't do anything. They participated on their own accord. Why should I always have anything to do with everything?"

"Mm-hmm. And I supposed in the past hour, when I had to listen to some deranged guy bs-ing all through his fifteen minutes speech, had absolutely nothing to do with you probably blackmailing him into filling in the list of orators?"

"Blackmail is a strong accusation, Max," he was trying to pacify her.

"And some chick had the nerve to stand up there and tell the crowd that if I weren't being bitchy like all the time, she would've loved to do my nails. Guess she's forgotten the fact that she came up to me once to borrow my freaking nail varnish and never gave it back. I even helped her with that broken plumb in her apartment once. The fact that she conveniently unmentioned in her brainless ten minutes blathering."

"Hey, you weren't complaining when a brainless dud publicly humiliated you and asked you out in front of the whole population."

"That is so not the same."

"Keyword: brainless," Alec supplied for her.

She had to stifle her smile as she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just because I'm in a good mood doesn't mean that you're going to get away with this unscathed."

"Do your worst, Kitty."

"That nickname's better not be some alternate from bi-"

"Hey, Max," Dalton tapped her shoulder from behind.

Max swung around to face the X6. Her frown broke into a soft grin. "Hey."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," she gazed at him expectantly.

"Umh, can you come with me?" Dalton fidgeted slightly.

"Lead the way," Max followed after him after throwing Alec a questioning look, in which he responded with a shrug.

"So, what do you think of the party so far?" Dalton asked nervously, his gaze going everywhere but her face.

"You cornered me here just to ask me that?" Max smiled at him teasingly.

"I didn't mean anything. I mean, I wasn't trying to cor-"

"Relax," she cut him off, "I was just joking around. Jeez, really, does everyone take everything I say seriously except Alec?"

"So, anyway…" he trailed off, making Max slightly impatient.

"Yeah?"

"The ticket," Dalton began. "My ticket, I mean, for the party."

"Oh, one of yours is used for the party? Don't worry, Dalton. I'll make an exception this time and give you all a new one."

"No, that's not what I meant. I don't want a new one," the X6 stammered, blushing to the root of his hair.

"No?" Max asked him smilingly. "That's sweet. I tell you what; let me know anything you want, and whatever it is, I'll try and get it for you."

"Anything?" his eyes widened.

"Anything," Max assured him before she was pulled into the sloppiest kiss she had ever received in her whole life.

"Dalton!" she screeched as she pulled away from his hold, thumping him upside his head.

"Ow," he cried as he was rubbing his head from her abuse. Which should've made Max feel slightly guilty if it weren't for the unrepentant, blissful look in his eyes.

"Don't tell me that you expect to live and brag about it after you pulled that stunt," she growled menacingly.

"You said anything I want," Dalton interjected apprehensively.

"He does have a point there, Max," Alec interrupted from behind.

"You," Max snarled, pointing a finger at Alec's direction, "Stay out of this!" She then looked between him and Dalton and narrowed her eyes, "Is this some kind of complot between the two of you?" She threw up her hands in despair, and stalked off away from them.

"You know I saved you so that I can kill you myself, right, kid?" His voice was casual and cheery along with his smile in contradiction to his ominous eyes.

"Alec," Dalton began to explain out of desperation, but he could only come up with one pathetic excuse, "It's Max."

The X6 had to have said something right as comprehension dawned on Alec's eyes. He slapped the kid a bit too hard on his back before he went off to patch things with one irate Max.

"Max," he found her in some corner looking at the video installation, drinking her beer grumpily.

"I wouldn't really hurt him, you know. You don't' have to protect him from me or something," she grumbled.

"Aw did I just interrupt your fun?"

She glared at him.

"Max, you know how teenage are, and hormone. Both are stupid combination."

"I know, Alec. I wasn't that pissed at him. I just don't wanna let him off too easy."

"There are always nice latrine duties you can assign him to," he suggested in a friendly tone.

She bit her lip to contain her smile. "That threat somehow had lost its charm."

"With our noses?" His eyes widened in attempt to mock a shock. "Never!"

She laughed at his antics.

"Well, I guess it's enough excitement for one night, even for me. Time for me to head home. Thanks for everything, Alec." Her brow furrowing, she looked like she was considering something on her mind before she shrugged and kissed him on the cheek softly.

He stood there frozen, the skin on his cheek felt like a burning patch where her lips had touched it. He recovered soon enough the moment he saw her starting toward the exit.

"But, Max, you can't go yet," he protested.

"I'm pretty beat, Alec. Have fun without me." She didn't even stop to turn to him when she waved him goodnight. And the next moment she was gone through the door, leaving him there.

From his line of sight, he could see a few transgenic females beckoning him with all too friendly smiles. He could somehow also see how his evening would proceed. He would have fun without her for sure. There were many girls in the party who wouldn't just leave him to spend his night alone as she willingly had done. Life went on as it should be. Guess changes were only to be expected from monumental deeds like making a stand or surviving a siege, and throwing a party for her wasn't exactly epic.

Two hours after she had left, he could still feel the disappointment. He wondered if everything would ever feel right again if nothing ever changed.

************

The knock on her door grew insistent, so she stepped out of the bath water and put on her white bathrobe.

"Just come in already. The door isn't locked," she called out as she toweled her hair. "This better be good," she muttered softly to herself.

The minute she stepped out of the bathroom, she was greeted with a sight that she hadn't expected.

"Alec? What are you doing here?"

"Max," he fidgeted slightly, which reminded her of Dalton's previous behavior. "Thought, you're in bed."

"Well, I decided to have a bath instead. Why? Do I need your permission?" She couldn't help the slight irritation seeping into her voice. He was not supposed to be here, not with her. He was supposed to be at the party, flirting with whoever came his way.

He had to either miss or ignore her annoyed comment as he scanned the area of her apartment.

"Why is it so cold in here?" he demanded, body moving closer to her as if he was unconsciously trying to envelop her with his body heat.

"Well, you did say I emanated coldness," she stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. They looked so wary and defenseless against her bitchiness. "I gave my heater to someone else," she added meekly.

"You'll catch cold," he warned her softly as one finger touched her wet locks.

She shook her head, containing herself from correcting him with a defensive retort.

Encouraged by her silence, both of his hands went up to cup her face, trying to transmit the heat of his palms against the skin of her cheeks. She could have easily pulled away, but something deep inside of her was insisting her to hold still under the warm rubbing of his hands.

"You shouldn't have left," he reproached her quietly.

She pulled immediately away from him, her hands wrapping around her waist to substitute the warmth she had given up. "You shouldn't be here," she turned to him with a censure of her own.

"Why did you just go like that?" he ignored her words as he followed her closely. "Just pulling yourself away like that. How could you just stand by the side and let life slipped by?"

"Can you seriously hear yourself right now?" She laughed nervously as she was backing away from him.

But he wouldn't let her easily get away. With every step she took back, he gained it. Until cornered, she glared up at him, putting as much contempt as she could in her voice, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Why wouldn't you let yourself be part of it, Maxie? Is it so bad to take pleasure in life?" His eyes were probing her face, and for a moment she was afraid she was going to break.

"Please, Alec, don't," she begged out of desperation.

"WHY, Maxie?" his voice rising slightly, his gaze relentless.

"You don't understand-"

"MAX!"

"Because someone had to stand by the side and watch over them, okay!?" She wrenched herself away from him. "You think I want any of this!? You think I want to replay the possibilities of the inevitable again and again in my head? That someday or just the next hour all of this would be ended with an order and a bomb? Do you even wanna know how my mind could inventively come up with all kinds of suggestions of how we could all die? And you know what the most terrible part of it all? That they thanked me tonight for leading them here. They probably thanked me for their demise, and they didn't even know it!"

She looked at him with angry tears in her eyes. "I feel like I'm going crazy with all this in my head, and here you are trying to make me feel guilty because I wasn't partaking in your fun?"

"That's not fair, Max."

"Well, welcome to life, Alec. I was pretty sure you'd finally get it." In her fury, she completely missed the deep hurt visible on his face.

"What was out there tonight? The party? The one you let me get away with because you thought it was some kind of way of getting my kicks? Well, I guess it was overstretching for me to think that you finally see what's been in front of you since day one of the siege. I just want you to see, Max, that you're not some kind of shepherd leading flocks of dumb sheep around. That they are people out there, soldiers who would take up their guns and not just accept fate if it were to be lethally forced upon them. That we've been fighting alongside of you and will continue to do so until you give us the order to stop. That we're just like you. We want to belong just like you." He paused and took her face in his hands. "That you're not alone, that's what I've wanted you to see, Max."

"So you see there's no future in this? No problem. Just give out the order and we'll go to ground," he concluded, fire and determination in his eyes.

"How'd you do that?" she asked him, terribly afraid of the feeling he instilled in her. "How did you turn this around?"

Alec sighed heavily. "Don't you see, Max? It's not important that you never see me. It's important that you own up to yourself to see that you just can't do it on your own."

"That's not true, Alec. I see you." She gazed up at him with imploring eyes.

"Please, Max, spare me, and I really mean it. You have to stop letting me see something that isn't there," he beseeched her.

Max shook her head stubbornly.

"Do you think we should go to ground or not?" His hands were holding her face firm, forcing her to focus on him.

She shook her head again as an answer and pulled his hands away from touching her.

"Why? Why are you so insistent of making this stand when doing so is going to destruct you?" He let his hands fall uselessly back down.

"We can't just go and leave all this behind. We can't go back to where we started, Alec. Even if going to ground will logically increase our chance of surviving, I cannot let them live through life in fear as I did, living each day limiting everything. Something must change." She walked across the room because she couldn't stand admitting in front of his face that fear that had been haunting her all her life. The fear of being a minority despite all the superiorities of her genes.

"And who you think will answer to your demand? The understanding government that has kept us in lock-down? Or the bloodthirsty mass who'd suddenly develop common sense? Who will reach out to us and give us the change we need? Unless Manticore had appointed some godparents for us back in the days of transgenic baby boom, I don't see any sympathy from the world outside apart from the few of our friends. So can you honestly answer to yourself who it would be righting this wrong?"

His resolve for her to admit the inevitable finally pushed her.

"I don't know! Someone, some congress, or some goddamn organization!"

"Max," he began, "At least if we're out there, we'll survive."

"No!" she negated hotly. "Something's gotta give. It's not enough to just survive." She looked at the incredulous expression on his face and felt the urge to explain to him her irrational stubbornness. "See, life isn't fair."

He snorted, "I know, you familiarized me to it, remember?"

She ignored him and went on, "And we get by, I know, but what if I don't want to just get by. From the very beginning, life has been one disaster after another. Yeah, I learned to lay low, but there were times when it took more than laying low to make everything right again. That is to say if everything were right in the first place. The minute I was out, I tried to follow their rules no matter how wrong they seemed to me, and I endured everything, I mean everything, Alec, just so that I have that glimpse of how right freedom could be. So that I'd know if good things happen to me eventually, they would happen as well to the rest of us who made it out."

"But it never came, you know. Whatever it was that made being out here seemed to be worth it just isn't. And all that would've been okay, because I thought, hey, maybe life just doesn't like me in particular. So life can just fuck off and I can do wrong just because I can. But it broke Ben. So how was that supposed to be okay?" She wiped her angry tears roughly.

"So yeah, I know it's juvenile to demand for someone, something to make life right because the thought of life as it was should end. It should've had a deeper cause, divine meanings and all that shit, but this fight is just what it is. That we're just reaching out for that theory of hope and happiness everyone else has been bragging about."

Suddenly he could see what this was all about; that she was never healed from the pain of her past had never occurred to him before. Some trauma that he had partly known still haunted her. He wanted to reach out to her and offered her the just world that she had been longing for, but he knew that he couldn't. Because, even though he was less broken, he still was what he was, unassembled.

So he could only offer one thing to her, himself.

Once he had thought that everyday had been about to make do with what he had been able to get. It had taken one crazy, bloodthirsty chick to make him realize that it hadn't been enough, and that it had been wrong to even consider that it had been enough. He couldn't, of course, explain to her the impact she had in his life. She would've brushed it off by stating that he had done it on his own, which he had, but he would've at least liked to explain what it was like when life wasn't about punishment anymore. That no one would ever punish him for being just him. Because she had given him a name and had expected nothing from him, which had made him in turn want to give her anything, be anything.

Smart Alec, she had called him. Alec, she had named him. All along, she had laid claims on him, shaping this person next to her into her own. So how could she sequentially not have known that he belonged to her?

And because she was standing there still in her bathrobe, and he was still Alec.

"It goes both ways, you know."

"What?" she asked him, frowning as she was trying to control the emotion of her outburst.

"You can't say all those things you said to me and expect they won't touch me." He took her tight fist in his hand and held it close for an inspection before he surprised her by kissing her knuckles. "They do touch me, and I hold you responsible for them."

He handed her a ticket, which was hers. She took it and then looked at him questioningly.

"If this were yours then I would've asked what you would want of me, and if this were mine then I would've just said you. I want you." His eyes pleaded with her to make the decision, the change that might not be significant for their fight, but there was this theory of hope and happiness that needed to be tested.

"So which would it be, mine or yours?" he pressed with all the confidence and vibrancy that she could easily crush with just one word.

"I gave this to you," she answered simply because she finally admitted to herself that this was necessity, aside from air and food and water. For both their sake. To deny this was like to maim part of them that lived.

******Fin******

A/N2: (PS: you don't have to read this) I've always wanted to write about a fighter of the cause. It intrigues me if somehow the motive behind their action weren't as selfless as it seemed, but I guess there is something novel about that too, because in my opinion selfishness in principle matter makes the purpose of the fight more realistic. Because we all in the end want the same thing. But one person has to start wanting it for oneself first. Anyway, I'm just rambling. Sorry if I can't really convey it better, I mean what I thought or the story, because really the idea was better than the realization. Okay, confused, much? Don't mind me. Crazy writer with silly notions.