I slammed my book shut in frustration. I should have known I wouldn't be able to study. Not while I could hear my parents fighting downstairs. Why had I just wasted an hour of my life trying to concentrate when the end resulted in this? I couldn't tell you. I walked a crossed my small bedroom, grabbing my white flip phone off my dresser. I dialed the number to the only person who I could talk to, the only person who would understand.
The phone rang two times.
"Bonjour" The female voice greeted on the other side of the phone. I didn't know why but she had this thing nowadays for answering the phone in different languages. It was so Alice.
"Hey Alice" I said, she already knew it was me. Alice and I had been best friends since the first day of preschool. I strictly recall her yelling at a little boy who had broken my purple crayon. The rest was history.
She noticed something in my voice. "Bella, what's wrong?" She asked. I could hear her concern over the phone.
I wasn't sure what to say, or how to say it. I tested it out in my head, everything's wrong Alice, my mom's packing her bags, she's leaving again, Charlie is a mess, and I don't know what to do.
"Charlie, just let me go" My mom yelled from downstairs, followed by the slam of the front door.
I buried my head in my hands, "It's just- I-"my voice broke and the tears streamed down my cheeks.
Alice heard the struggle "I'm done with my report, why don't we meet?" She replied, her musical voice ringing clearly.
"Okay, I'll see you in 5 minutes" I choked out through muffled sobs.
Behind my house is a trail that leads to the green forests of forks. Alice lives a street down from me and also has a path that leads there. We have a secret meeting space right in the middle.
I pulled on my rain boots and my black fur hooded jacket as fast as I could manage. I marched down the stairs two at a time, and walked into the living room where Charlie was sitting.
The minute I walked in I instantly regretted not sneaking out my window instead. The pained, destroyed expression on Charlie's face was more then I could take. My mom had left many times before, more then I could count. And time after time, Charlie and I had welcomed her back, ignoring and pretending she hadn't left at all. Accepting her, and loving her when she returned home. When would she return? Who knew? Sometimes it was a week, other times a month, but that's what my mother did, she ran away from her problems.
I remembered being in first grade, it had been "parent's day", where you brought one of your parents in and they explained their job. I was so excited to show my mom off, I had been looking forward to it all week. I knew all the kids would love her, who wouldn't love a mom who "traveled" the world? At least that's how she put it, when really she just ran away. I remembered waiting there for her. Watching parent after parent come into the little classroom and sit next to their child, until finally I was the only one left, the only one left alone. Still, I was determined she would come; I sat in my little desk, a warriors expression on my tiny face. Parent after parent explained their jobs getting "oohs" and "ahhs" from the classroom of kids. Mrs. Anita the classroom teacher finally asked me if my mom was coming. "She'll come" I told the teacher with determination. Mom never came though; I even waited for her for an hour after school, until I walked home heartbroken. She didn't come home for a month after that, I remember sitting in bed at night clasping my little hands together and hoping, praying, for god to bring her back to me. I never knew that even when she did come back, it wouldn't be for long.
"I'm going on a walk with Alice" I said turning to walk towards the back door. I couldn't risk him seeing the tears in my eyes.
"Okay" he confirmed without feeling. His eyes turning back towards the football game on TV.
Something stopped me as I reached for the back door. I turned back to Charlie.
"Dad, I'm sorry" I said quietly, I know he heard me, because he froze in his chair. Before he turned to face me, I walked out, closing the door loudly behind me.
The frost covered grass crunched under my worn out boots. The cold air nipped at the exposed skin on my face and hands, awakening me. Outside I calmed down quickly, breathing in the musky smell of fresh rain. I opened my back yard gate, closing it swiftly behind me, and there I was. A small trail leading through the green forest was visible. I sighed happily; when I was out here I was in a different world. Home didn't matter, my mom didn't matter, and the pained expression on Charlie's face didn't attempt to flash through my mind. I walked up the dirt path, avoiding a couple large fallen branches that covered the trail. Luckily there wasn't too many obstacles, unfortunately I wasn't the most graceful or balanced person in the world. I only tripped once, and even then I managed to recover from the trip and not fall down.
When I finally reached the small clearing, Alice hadn't gotten there yet. I took a seat on the trunk of a tree completely covered in green moss, as most of the forest was, that had fallen down a couple of months ago. I breathed in the scent of the wet ground, examining the different hues of green of the plants and trees, listening to the stream of water to the left of me. It still amazed me at how fake the forest seemed. As if I had entered another world, it was a beautiful place.
It was comfortable in the small clearing; I instantly felt relaxed here. I had walked into this small place with big problems many times, all revolving around my family troubles, but oddly I always walked away feeling better. Alice and I had found this place when we were in fourth grade; we swore not to tell anybody about it, and to never bring anybody else here. It was our secret place.
I heard a sound from deep in the bushes, I almost called Alice's name but that was not the direction she usually came from. I took deep breath. Suddenly I heard the sound of something in the distance, it sounded like an animal running, hoof beats hitting the ground, fast. The noise was too light to be a horse, not that anyone owned a horse in Forks. Who could ride in this weather? I strained trying to pick up the sound; it was getting louder, coming closer. My heart started beating faster in my chest; I clutched my hands feverously together. The sound grew louder and louder until out of nowhere, a doe came springing out of the forest from the left side of me. I ducked to the right; she sprang over the little creek. And then sprang a second thing from the forest, but it wasn't a deer. I gasped in shock, my whole body freezing at the sight. Running after the deer was a guy, a human; except for he was running so fast I couldn't even see his feet touch the ground. I heard a loud snarl escape his chest, sounding like a tiger going in for its kill. He ran faster, It wasn't running, it was more like flying. In half a second, he and the deer were both gone, deep in the forest. I sat there stunned not believing what I had just seen. I gasped for air, trying to calm myself down. You're too worked up I told myself, you're imagining things. But the image replayed in my mind again and again, the deer, the boy, the inhumanly way he was running, the loud snarl that escaped his chest.
Alice emerged from the forest trail then. "I'm so sorry, I'm late" She gasped out of breath, walking over to where I was sitting. She realized the shock on my face. "Bella, what's wrong?" She asked, her high musical voice rang in the sound of the silence.
What could I say? How could I explain what I had just seen? Alice was my best friend, but even she might think I was crazy.
"Oh, nothing" I said "I-I, just ran the whole way here" I laughed lightly, trying to make it sound convincing.
She wasn't having it though; she knew how clumsy I was. I almost burst out in a fit of laughter when she looked me over for scratches and wounds; she knew I couldn't have run this far without injuring myself.
I looked Alice over too; she was wearing a fashionable expensive tan colored jacket, dark fitted jeans and coach rain boots. She looked like a model straight out of a winter magazine. Her pixie like perfect figure, her flawless pale skin, unusual light golden colored eyes, and her fairy like pitch black hair that stuck up in all directions. She had always been gorgeous, but when we were both 15 she moved to London with her family, after a year she came back. When she came back she was different, her beauty was now breathtaking, her skin was lighter, she was oddly colder, her eyes were different too, the way she walked was more like a dance, and she would disappear to go on little trips every once in awhile. She didn't look a day older then fifteen still, I convinced myself the new Alice was just the grown up Alice, and she was still my best friend. We were both 17 now, I had gotten used to the slight changes.
Suddenly she threw her arms around me in a hug, I hugged her back. Then she sat down next to me on the log. "You've been crying" She stated, looking at my tear stained face. A hint of sadness flickered in her voice, her flawless features crinkled in concern.
"She left again" I said simply. Alice knew more than anyone about how my mother ran away, and the pain I felt when she did. Countless amounts of times Alice had been there for me, comforting me, or distracting me. Sometimes I would open the door to run to her house to tell her, to confide in her, only to open the door and see her standing there, arms open, face as pained as I felt. Even when I hadn't even mentioned to her that my mother had left again, she still suddenly appeared at the door way. I couldn't imagine what I would do without her.
I felt the tears stream down my cheeks again, I buried my face in my hands sobbing lightly. It was ridiculous after all this time that her running away still got to me like it did. Every single time she came back though, I tried to convince her to stay, I worked harder, stressing myself out studying getting the best grades in class, to show her how good I was doing, I did the dishes, I made dinner, I bought her things with the little amount of money I had working at the local library every once in awhile, but no matter what I did, I still woke up to the empty driveway where her car should be, and Charlie cold as a stone, drowning in his own pain.
Alice rapped her cold arms around me, hugging me to her. She held me there, not talking just murmuring a little lullaby so quietly I could barely hear, she stroked my dark wavy hair lightly as she sang. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled away. I wiped the tears of my cheeks. I was done crying.
Alice had done so much for me; I couldn't believe what I was about to say but the words flew out of my mouth in a rush. "I was thinking that, well, maybe we could go to Seattle tomorrow and go to that shop you wanted" I said with a slight smile. I hated shopping, but Alice loved it. She had been begging me to go with her since last week. Tomorrow would be Saturday, and the way Alice drove, it wouldn't take long to get to Seattle and back.
Her face lit up with a huge smile, her teeth blindingly white against the hues of the green forest.
She hugged me so hard I thought I was going to fall over. "Thank you so much" There was pure excitement in her voice.
"No, thank you" I said "I hate that you have to deal with me like this" I muttered.
"Bella, you are my best friend" Her eyes were suddenly deeper "I will always be here for you"
"I'll always be here for you too" I murmured, it was hard to make out the sky between all the trees but I could tell it was getting dark.
"It's time to go" She said, it wasn't a question. She hugged my again, gentler this time.
"See you tomorrow at ten?" I asked standing up.
"Yes" She chirped excitedly "Goodbye Bella"
"Goodbye Alice, see you tomorrow" I replied. Then we both started to head down our own paths. I signed, feeling suddenly better than I had when I had entered the forest.
That night was miserable. The silence at the dinner table with Charlie was eerie. I cooked his favorite meal, fish, and we both ate quietly. You would have thought that we would get used to these lonely nights, but we never did. Each time was still as depressing as the first one. After dinner I washed the dinner plates in the sink, and cleaned off the kitchen counter. I walked upstairs and took a shower, even the hot water that usually relaxed me, didn't do the trick this time. I knew in the morning everything would be back to normal, it was always after, the calm of the storm that was the worst. I put on my comfy white t-shirt that had a few holes in it and my turquoise pajama bottoms, and walked back into my room. I knew I should try to do my report again, it was due on Tuesday, but my mind was too cluttered with thoughts. I bent walked over to my bookshelf grabbing a leather diary that was tucked neatly behind some other novels. I sat on my bed folding my legs and reached over to grab the pen off my night stand. My mind was blank with words to write but the minute I opened the diary, the words came flooding out of my mind.
"Dear Diary,
She's gone, again. Why am I disappointed? Why am I surprised? I don't understand. I don't want to feel the way I do, I don't want to miss her, I shouldn't, and neither should Charlie. I should be angry with her, I should hate her, but I can't. I paused thinking about the guy I saw today, I couldn't bring myself to believe what I saw. I shoved him out of my mind, and continued writing. So I've decided that I'm not going to let her get to me the way she does, the way she has for the past 17 years. I'm done, I'm starting over new. Sure, it won't be easy but I need to do this, for me.
I signed my name and closed the diary, placing it on my nightstand. I turned the lights off and tucked myself into bed. Drifting easily into sleep.
I couldn't tell whether I was in a dream or a nightmare. I was back in the forest, at the same place I had been this afternoon, except for something was much different. The sky above was darker, and it was raining. I looked to my left and Alice was suddenly standing there beside me. "Hello Bella" She smiled "I want you to meet someone" Her voice rang in the silence of the forest. She offered me her hand and I took it gently, following her. She led me far out into the forest. I saw a figure standing there waiting for us. It was the guy I had seen. I stopped walking and Alice turned toward me "What's wrong?" She asked annoyance in her voice. "Alice, we can't go over there" I stood as still as a stone. "He's not human"
Her face caught me off guard, instead of being frightened or running back the way we had came. Her lips turned into a smile, showing her gleaming white teeth. "I know" She whispered.
And then I woke up.