Title: Snug as a Bug
Author: Scorch
Email: Miss_
Rating: R
Category: Humour/Smut
Content: Veronica/Lamb
Summary: Weidman gets a little too much information. Set during Mars vs Mars.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything of this, I'd be paying someone to do my typing for me. Sadly I don't and I'm stuck doing my own dirty work.
Distribution: This place, my place. Anyplace else, just ask!
Notes: Just a wee little ditty!
Notes: Also included a tiny little mention of my Smallville pairing.
P.S. I don't like the new upload feature for .
As an ex-Federal agent and US army intel officer, Clarence Weidman was equally known and unknown by many. He was also the chief of security for Kane Software and as such, he was Kane's go-to guy.
He had no problem cleaning up or getting his hands dirty. Pulling a trigger was as easy for him as running the mother of a teenage girl out of town or bugging the room of said teenage girl.
A bug that allowed Clarence Weidman to hear everything that went on in that particular room.
It wasn't long after Veronica's conversation with her father regarding Koontz.
As security chief, it was his job to log everything important such as names, dates, and times.
Times like at 6:15 pm, Miss. Mars loudly stated how much she hated her father's cooking and the laughed response came at exactly 6:17 pm. Then at 6:23 pm, Miss. Mars yelled out a goodbye and wished him luck.
At 6:33 pm, Clarence heard the girl pick up the phone.
The bug had been in place for three days, but three days was more than enough for him to know Miss. Mars was not like other girls her age. She didn't wait until the parents were out before running up the bill and nor did she take liberties by inviting her friends over.
"C'mon, c'mon," she said at 6:33:19. "Pick up."
Clarence tensed, all his highly trained senses going into red alert.
6:33:27 brought his attention to the fact the recipient had answered.
"Finally," Miss. Mars huffed. "I was starting to think you were avoiding me. How is work? That's if you're actually doing some for a change."
6:34 Miss. Mars supplied a noise that could only be described as annoyance at its finest. "You've never bothered before, so why tonight? Tonight when I'm alllllll alone. In my bed. Naked."
Clarence didn't know what was said between the rest of 6:34 and 6:36. The shock that not only had he been wrong about Miss. Mars not using the phone during her parent's abscence, but the conversation had took him by surprise.
6:37 had him frozen to his seat as she continued.
"But I've been bad, too. Don't I deserve to be punished? I mean, shouldn't you be staking me? It'd be so much more fun."
There was a pause.
"I lied when I said I was naked."
6:38 came with relief for Clarence.
"I meant I'm getting naked. As in stripping. Right this very minute."
Clarence didn't breathe for the whole of 6:39.
"You want me stop?"
Yes please, Clarence wanted to say, but he couldn't be heard.
6:40 brought with it the light squeaking of her bed, followed by distinct sounds of movement and what sounded like a drawer being pulled open. His brain couldn't keep from working, despite his attempt at shutting it down.
What did girls keep in drawers beside their beds? Nic-naks, trinkets and keep-sakes, condoms...
"Oops!" Miss. Mars had no trace of remorse in her voice. "My pajama pants came off."
Another pause.
"The ones with the bunnies."
The silence was longer this time, ending with another light squeak and more movement at 6:41:48.
"There goes my top," Miss. Mars stated with a sigh that was as fake as the apology in her voice. "It's not my fault my clothes are falling off."
Clarence was blessed with an entire minute of quiet that was interrupted by a tiny, constant hum that went almost unnoticed. His eyes snaked at the time.
6:42:48 exactly.
Oh.
Hell.
No.
It couldn't be what he thought. After all, there was plenty of things that made tiny, constant humming noises. Electric razors, for one. Electric toothbrushes for another, so that hum could be from anything.
Miss. Mars spoke again at 6:44 and Clarence really wished she hadn't.
"Mmm, s'good when you do that," and there was a slur to her voice that clearly indicated early stages of arousal.
Pause.
"Nice n slow, ya know? When you just... Oh yeah... S'good."
At 6:46 the speaker phone was switched on and he decided Jake Kane wasn't paying him nowhere near enough.
"I'm trying to fucking work here, Mars."
Clarence Weidman blinked wide eyes.
Lamb?
Don Lamb?
Sheriff Don Lamb?
"Fucking hell, Mars. I'm trying to work and I'm hard as a fucking rock."
"Panties are wet. Need to get em off."
Clarence would rather she kept them on.
"No, Veronica. You just... You just keep them on and fuck which ones?"
"The blue ones you bought to match..."
"Fuck."
6:49 was when the sheriff chanted the word no several times over and 6:50 was when the sheriff cracked.
"Take em off, Veronica. Now."
No, Miss. Mars, Clarence thought. Keep them on.
"Oh, God, Lamb."
"Suck it, Veronica."
"But I wanted..."
"Open your fucking mouth and suck my dick."
"If you were here, that's what I'd be doing."
"Jerkin' off here, Mars. Suck."
6:53 was the time Clarence contemplated cutting out his own eardrums with his fingernails. There was nothing more painful than listening to a desperate man.
"Since you asked so nicely..." and then all that could be heard was a long, throaty murmur of delight.
"That's right, baby. Yeah. Fuck."
Miss. Mars responded with a whimper muffled by whatever was in her mouth.
"You're getting so good at this."
6:55 was when muffled whimpers turned into what sounded like a muffled sort of plea and Clarence had no choice but too listen to the sheriff's interpretation.
"Thassit, Veronica. Get yourself off. There's my girl. Yeah, you're close."
Clarence briefly nodded. Of course Miss. Mars wouldn't settle for letting a man get off alone and that was something he really wished he didn't know.
"Lick it, Mars. Like a fucking popsicle. Shit."
6:57 told just how talented Miss. Mars was at multi-tasking. Simultaneously laughing, masteurbating, and giving a blow-job to a vibrator. All while pretending said vibrator was the sheriff's popsicle.
Impressive.
"Open your fuckin' legs. Daddy's got sugar."
Clarence made a mental note to forget minutes 6:58, 6:59, and 7:00.
7:01 Miss. Mars giggled.
"Say. It."
"Daddy's got sugar?"
"Not that, not that. Don't you fucking tease me, Veronica. Say it."
7:03 was the time the hardened heart of Clarence Weidman almost softened and with it came the words sheriff Lamb begged for.
"I love you."
7:04 and 7:05 were full of sounds and noises that disappeared into the same place as the noises made between 6:58, 6:59, and 7:00.
Sheriff Lamb laughed. "Why d'you do this to me? You know I hate dry cleaning prices."
"I do it because you won't put out, Deputy."
"Crissakes, woman. You're not eighteen yet. And stop calling me deputy."
"Legal in Kansas. Just ask Lex Luthor. According to the Planet, he's all about barely legal blondes."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"You do that, Deputy."
"Sheriff."
"You were deputy when I first frigged myself over you."
"Veronica!"
"Alright, alright. Can you get here tonight? No sex. I promise to behave."
7:07 was when Clarence Weidman decided to be a decent man for once.
*~*~*
It was 10:00 am exactly when he walked into the office of Jake Kane without an appointment. "Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays between 6:33 and midnight," he said in a voice that demanded no questions asked. "Will be private to Miss. Mars and her lover."
As predicted, Mr. Kane asked, "Her lover?"
"It's not Duncan, sir. You don't have to worry."
Clarence watched the emotions flash in the eyes of his employer, but ignored them. "I mean no disrespect with what I'm about to say, Mr. Kane. She may be your biological daughter, sir, but you don't have to worry. She's in good hands."
He watched Jake Kane swallow, look at his desk, then finally meet his eyes. "Find out who Miss. Mars' boyfriend is and see to it she's looked after. If she needs anything, you know what to do."
"Yes, sir," Clarence said, all business and nothing more, but his thoughts were on the tapes in his pocket.
At 12:00 midday, he destroyed the tape.