Run with Me

Chapter One

Mickey Milkovich ran away from South Side. Ian knew this with sickening sadness. No one had seen Mickey in four days; not since he and Ian came to blows again in front of the Gallagher house, in the middle of lunch hour. Even Mandy, who had a nonchalance about her family and home life, was now kind of concerned. She'd even sent Ian and Lip out to all the places Mickey typically hid. Mickey hadn't been at any of them.

Guilt consumed Ian over the incident. He kept going over what happened in his head, wishing he had just left well enough alone. Mickey, he was fragile now. And not in the breakable sense. No Mickey was a grenade that Terry Milkovich pulled the pin from. And Ian had seen this coming since finding Mickey the first time on the roof. He'd seen how unstable Mickey was. Ian knew Mickey didn't talk about his emotions. And he should have known not to press Mickey into talking just because Ian was feeling uneasy himself.

Chewing his thumb, Ian sat on his back porch, empty beer bottle sitting by his heel. It was late. Close to eleven. Crickets sounded off around him, along with all the sounds South Side Chicago brought about.

Ian had been outside for more than an hour without moving from this spot. He was starting to get chill bumps up his arms. His ass and feet were numb.

The back door creaked open. Ian didn't bother turning around. He knew his unwelcomed guest was either Lip or Fiona. Judging by the heavy footsteps trotting down the steps, Lip was coming. He came to a stop one step up from Ian's back. Cleared his throat.

"You, uh," Lip started, "you been out here for a while. Want a jacket or something?" He asked this awkwardly. Ian heard the wheels turning in Lip's skull. Knew his brother was itching to get something off his chest. Tensions had been high between them since going out in search for Mickey. Since Lip witnessed Ian cry over this without saying a word about why.

After the two had turned up empty handed, Ian had cried, then kept mostly to himself. Why? Because he knew what Mickey was doing and his guts ached over it. Inner turmoil threatened to yank Ian in half. And the guilt gnawed a hole in his chest.

"Look," Lip breathed out and scratched his neck loudly, "I realize you're missing him. But hey, listen," he paused as if debating how to phrase what was sure to be an ignorant statement on Ian's love life, "it's not worth it. You're too good for him."

Ian snorted. Shaking his head, he dug through his pocket, fished out a joint and lighter. With no intention to share. "Just shut up, Lip," Ian mumbled out as he lit up. Holding in a deep puff, he said, "I don't want to talk right now."

Lip laughed bitterly. "Yeah," he sighed. Snide, he went on to say, "that's the problem, man. You never want to talk lately."

Which was true. Ian didn't respond to the statement, but he knew his brother was right. And he also knew how being left out of Ian's loop probably made Lip feel. Lip, who in the past, Ian always went to for advice, to get something off his chest, what have you. Lip who had always been Ian's confidant but now wasn't. The fact that Lip was about to spout off bullshit because he had no idea what was really going on was, truthfully, only Ian's fault. Yet that didn't change how this conversation made Ian's blood boil.

"Maybe you're just too blind to see it, Ian," Lip said bluntly, "but Mickey Milkovich is destroying you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ian said, voice low and dead.

"Oh really?" Lip chuckled and spit over the rail. "You seem to forget," he went on, heart in the right place but with terrible timing, "I was in a dead end relationship with a Milkovich too."

Ian's eyes bugged out but he chose to hold his tongue. Mandy hadn't been Lip's dead end. Mandy had been Lip's fucking salvation and the dipshit had run scared back to Karen Jackson's unforgiving bed. But this, Ian kept to himself. Swallowed down the sourness of truth in favor of fuming, wallowing in his own self hate for now.

"Stop acting like you know what's going on between us!" Ian growled. He took another drag, then brushed off the flame, pocketed the roach. "You have no idea!" he flared, fists by his side. Feet aching. His stomach leaped up. "No clue what you're even talking about!" Ian shouted now, jumping to his tingling feet. A rush of adrenaline shot through him. His legs gained back feeling. He stared daggers through his brother's furious face. Like dogs pitted against one another, they towered.

Lip shouted back, "He attacked you, Ian! That's not what happens in healthy relationships!"

And Lip wasn't wrong. But that didn't change how Ian felt. No two couples shared the same type of relationship. There was no such thing as conventional. Nothing was ever pure and healthy. Not that Ian had yet witnessed.

"You don't get him, Lip!" Ian reared back, mind being made up with each ticking second. He said, voice lowering as he took calming breaths, "It's not like that. You don't understand what happened." His throat threatened to seize up as knowledge fell into his lap. Thoughts that Ian hadn't been letting himself feel until this very second. "Mickey doesn't have anyone," Ian said and it hurt. "Not even his own fucking sister cares enough!" Ian snapped, eyes stinging. God damn, he was his mother's son. Emotional and empathetic beyond repair.

Lip slapped his own forehead, then shook out an exasperated laugh. "Oh okay! Care to enlighten me?" he demanded, face scrunched up in Ian's.

Calmly, Ian took a step back. He surprised and confused Lip by stuffing his hands into his pockets and frowning. Backing down from what Lip had obviously assumed would turn into a fight. Taking a moment to collect himself. "No," Ian said sternly, "No I don't. It's not your fucking business."

Because this wasn't anyone's buisness but Ian and Mickey's. This was their burden to bare. Anyone else getting involved at this point would only worsen the situation. And Ian thought briefly, no wonder Mickey ran. Then he huffed a laugh and looked sadly at the ground. Chewing his lip, Ian closed his eyes for a second and made his choice. Walking backward off the steps, Ian gave one last look at his brother before turning fast on his heel and slowly walking away from the house. He kicked the pool once, then went on.

"Ian!" Lip shouted out behind him. But didn't follow, thank fuck. "Ian, where are you going?" Lip plead angrily.

"To find Mickey!" Ian shouted, defiant.

"He's not worth this!"

Ian laughed and let a tear stream his cheek. He didn't bother wiping at it as he shook himself and flipped Lip off without turning. "Go fuck yourself!" Ian said. And then he confessed that which he'd not uttered even to himself. "Mickey's worth whatever it takes," he said as his feet hit pavement.

NOTE:

For myaddictionismusic

Being as episode 11 is called Order Room Service, I'm hoping, just like others, that Ian and Mickey wind up in a hotel at some point. Noel Fisher isn't listed under episode 12, that I'm aware of. So. . .this fic here. . .this is what I really hope happens but probably won't.