Feint
But that wasn't why he fainted that night in the Bubble Bowl. Band Geeks spoilers.
I wrote this fic (checks) over a year ago now, and in the same vein as Bad Dream Believer (though not as popular as) it was on DeviantArt first. Maybe at the rate I'm going I'll be releasing After8 by Christmas.
Disclaimer: Seriously, I'm just a fan. I was on the way to my seat, the door was open…
You can't deny it – The Bikini Bottom Super Band played damn good music.
Understatement of the century. It was obvious straight away that they possessed talent, and weren't afraid to use it. (What sensible band wouldn't, after having a serious attack of manic depression in the conductor?) I mean, just listening to Sweet Victory would be enough to render Simon Cowell speechless, let alone having it blasted in your ears at 12.0 surround sound.
But as good as the music was, that wasn't why Squilliam Fancyson fainted that night in the Bubble Bowl.
Some say he fainted because he initially expected it to be a letdown. And not just Squilliam - conductor and rival Squidward too. You know? The one with the low self-esteem? He was an unknown in the business before; people looking at the football programme would have gone "Squidward who?" Yet by the time the concert was over and Squill had recovered from his heart-attack, Squid was more famous than Aerosmith.
But that wasn't why he fainted that night in the Bubble Bowl.
Others say he fainted because it was originally Squilliam himself who was meant to be stealing the show. True, the Fancyson Rockers weren't brilliant, but they were reputed for being rich, sexy and (as the critics raved) "prepared to kick ass if they had to". So was it any wonder that they were invited as the best of the best to perform at the prestegious Bubble Bowl?
Unfortunately, simulanteous dentist appointments, drug rehabilitation, plagiarism lawsuits – you know how it is, hm?
The Bikini Bottom Super Band weren't even much to look at from the outside. The lead vocalist was pretty decent-lookin'' (Squill made a mental note to find out his name later), but that was about all you could say for them really. But what they lacked in looks and riches, they more than made up for in... well, pretty much everything else.
But that wasn't why Squilliam fainted either.
There were even a few witnesses who believed that Squilliam's intolerance to anyone superior to him was giving him high blood pressure.
Yeah, sure. And his pneumonultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocono sis was playing up again.
But – you guessed it –
Squill didn't faint because of that.
Well, if it wasn't the music...
...nor the surprise goodness...
...nor the pwnage...
...nor the long illness...
What was it?!
Give up?
Squilliam fainted because he'd realised something shocking:
that Lead Vocalist was giving him a boner.