I'm sorry Castle. I'm sorry for not calling. I'm sorry I lied telling you I didn't remember when, truth is that I remember everything. It was because of you that I survived, your words made me have the strenght to fight. It was your face I would see when I was overwelmed by pain. Your gorgeous eyes. When I woke up, I did it expecting to see your face, because then I would know everything was alright. But I saw Josh's instead, and I didn't know what to do.
When you finally appeared at the door, my heart filled with love, and all I could think of was you holding me tight, kissing me and telling me you love me. And it was that thought that made me afraid, because I relised the walls I had built in my heart were down, and you were the one who did it. It scared the hell out of me. So I pushed you away, I pushed you away because I was scared of losing you if we were together.
And three months passed before I had the courage to call you back. Three months of nightmared that would make me wake up in the middle of the night searching for you, until I remembered that it was my own stupidity that pushed you away. You're mad at me, and you have all the right to.
I just wanted you to know how sorry I am and that I love you. I love you Rick Castle. And I miss you.
Always yours,
K.