To Be Ours

Raph looked up from his t-phone just as Leo and Donnie started walking towards the turnstiles. The red masked turtle raised a brow at his brothers.

"Where are you two going?" he wondered.

"Casey apparently needs my help to upgrade his bike." Donnie sighed, rubbing a hand up his face. Raph glanced at Leo, who shrugged.

"I'm just making sure they don't blow anything up." he explained. Raph nodded. So Don and Leo were going to be gone for a few hours, and Mikey left to hang out with the mutanimals almost an hour ago. Raph would be home alone. It was almost painful trying not to smile. He just really liked being alone sometimes.

"A'ight cool." Raph shrugged, looking back down at his phone. Donnie hummed in reply, already halfway out the lair. Leo sighed, looking at Raph again.

"And do you mind making dinner so it's ready when we get back?" he asked. Raph nodded, smirking slightly.

"Sure, meat lovers special coming right up." Leo scowled at him, Raph just couldn't resist teasing his big brother about his vegetarian diet.

"Whatever, Raph." Leo said, jogging after Donnie.

"See ya." Raph mumbled, staring at his phone screen blankly, listening until he could no longer hear or sense his brothers. When he knew he was alone, Raph finally let his mouth split into a grin. Ah, nothing more relaxing than silence. Except Raph was more pumped about the fact that his brothers weren't around for a few hours. He could do whatever he wanted right now.

Raphael smiled as he pulled up his music app, scrolling through the playlist for his new favorite musical. Yep. Musical. He loved musicals, but of course, he was the only person that knew that fact. He wouldn't even dream of ever telling anyone, or anyone finding out. That thought honestly terrified him. Big, tough Raphael loved musicals. It wasn't his fault those kinds of shows were amazing, he wasn't the one who made the songs and music so shelling addictive and catchy. It wasn't him who decided to make the musicals so phenomenal that every time he heard or watched one he wanted to burst into song. No, he wasn't a geek. Shut up.

Raphael picked one of the songs and smiled as it started to play. It was one of those upbeat ones, the ones that kinda inspired him. Inspired him to do what, he had no idea. Save the world? Again? Be an inspiration to others? Be himself? Raph snorted at the thought. There was no way he could be himself himself. Like this.

This secret that he loved to sing along to musicals, and he also wasn't that bad of a singer if he did say so himself. This was his. He really didn't like the idea of his brothers knowing. They'd definitely make fun of him. Sure, Mikey always sang like, all the time, but… still. Raph really didn't want to have to deal with his brothers and or best friends' constant teasing.

That was when a random memory popped into Raph's head. April was sitting with Donnie, she was reading from some booklet, repeating words from it over and over. She'd been in a play a couple years ago… would she think Raph was a dork for liking this kind of stuff? And if Raph remembered correctly… he actually starting getting into musicals and stuff when April would be practicing when she was here.

Raphael blinked and shook his head. Okay, no more zoning out into Raph Land, he was starting to act really weird. And it was all because of April. OKAY TIME TO MAKE DINNER.

Raph jumped to his feet, hurriedly walking into the kitchen, phone still in hand and music still playing. The green eyed turtle set his phone on the counter and opened the fridge, figuring he would just make a simple cheese pizza.

Five minutes later, Raph had the dough spread out to the right size, and was just finishing up smearing the sauce on. He was spreading the cheese and turned to check that the oven was on, singing along softly to his music.

"You're just making plain cheese?" Raph yelped in surprise and spun around to see April standing there, smirking. "Hi." Raph blinked, his heart was doing backflips and jumping jacks and he was pretty sure it wasn't because he was startled.

"Um… hey… what are you doing here?" he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat. April smiled.

"Leo texted me and told me you might need some help with dinner." she explained. Shelling Leo! Raph cleared his throat awkwardly, crossing his arms.

"I think I can manage a pizza." he said, putting his tough guy act back on. April rolled her bright blue eyes.

"A plain, boring pizza." she added. "You need to add some pizzazz, Raph!" Raph's eyes widened slightly when the redheaded girl set her backpack down on the counter and opened it. "Don't worry, I brought some pizzazz."

"I don't need-"

"Shush." April insisted, smirking again as she pulled out a can of olives and pepperoni out of her bag. Raph frowned.

"Leo's a vegetarian." he reminded, pointing at the pepperonis. April looked at him.

"Then half of the pizza can be vegetarian friendly." she said. Raph blinked, okay he'd never have thought of that. "See? You do need me." April laughed. Honestly, Raph was starting to believe that statement….

"Whatever." Raph finally sighed. "Just-" that was when April suddenly gasped, eyes darting to Raph's phone. Another song had started, and Raph's eyes were wide with horror. Shell, he should have turned that off! Raph could only stare as April looked back at him, grinning. Shell, here comes the humiliation. Time to live in his room for the rest of his life.

"I love this song!" April exclaimed, and Raph's eyes widened in shock as she started to sing along, placing some pepperoni on the side of the pizza that was already cheesed. "You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide." she wasn't teasing him… "I know you want me, so don't keep saying our hands are tied. You claim its not in the cards, that fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me. But you're here in my heart, so who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?" Raph felt his face burning. It got really hot in here all of a sudden… "Are you gonna help me?" April suddenly asked, glancing at Raph. The turtle blinked, swallowing.

"Uh… y-yeah…" he muttered, stepping closer so he could cheese the other half of the pizza. April continued to hum along to the music, and Raph found himself smiling. Every time he listened to this song, he'd always thought about April for some reason. Maybe he was wondering if she liked the song too, which she obviously did.

"So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours tonight." April's voice was amazing, Raph couldn't help but grin and stare at her. He never actually heard her sing when she was practicing for that play a couple years ago. Man, he wished he could have seen her on stage. That would have been awesome! April stepped closer to him, starting to put some olives on the other side of the pizza, still humming along to the instrumental break in the song. Raph felt his heart clench, staring at her concentrated, yet distracted look as she worked. Why did he suddenly feel like this? Seriously, all that he could think about right now was singing and dancing with her, holding her close to him…

Raph blinked and looked down at the floor, eyes wide. What the shell was wrong with him? What was he thinking? April wasn't only one of his best friends, but she was A; Donnie's crush, and B; HUMAN. So whatever Raph was feeling now was a big fat nope. Never gonna happen. But…. Raph glanced over at April again, and there was that stupid feeling in his chest again.

"You think it's easy…" Raph had no idea why he began singing along to the song, but found that he couldn't stop once he started. "You think I don't want to run to you… but there are mountains…. And there are doors that we can't walk through." April was staring at him with wide eyes, an almost sad smile on her face. "I know you're wondering why. Because we're able to be just you and me, within these walls. But when we go outside, you're going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all." Raph tore his gaze from April's and turned to open the oven, his heart was hammering against his plastron, and his eyes felt like they were on fire. He had no idea what was happening, but he couldn't decide if he like it or hated it. He sure hated the look of sadness that was forming on April's face. "No one can rewrite the stars, how can you say you'll be mine? Everything keeps us apart, and I'm not the one you were meant to find. It's not up to you, it's not up to me, when everyone tells us what we can be. How can we rewrite the stars-"

"Say that the world can be ours tonight." Raph turned back to see a determined look set in April's eyes. "All I want is to fly with you! All I want is to fall with you! So just give me all of you!" Raph seriously felt like he was having a battle inside his mind.

It feels impossible

It's not impossible

Is it possible?

Say that it's possible!

"How do we rewrite the stars?" Raph felt his voice crack, and his fight or flight instincts seemed to kick in, because he'd started to back away almost fearfully. He felt terrified, but brave at the same time. What was this? Why was it happening? "Say you were made to be mine?"

"Nothing can keep us apart, 'cause you are the one I was meant to find." April was closer now, and had reached out and grasped Raph's hand, gently pulling him back towards her. "It's up to you, and it's up to me. No one can say what we get to be!"

"And why don't we rewrite the stars?" their voices melded together perfectly, and Raph suddenly felt like his heart was being ripped out. "Changing the world to be ours…" April's hand was intertwined in his, and she was so close now, just like Raph had wanted her to be minutes earlier. This was all so confusing… why did Raph love this and hate this all at once? Why did it feel wrong, but right at the same time? It didn't make sense!

April was staring at him almost hopefully. Raph stared back, feeling that burning in his eyes again.

"...You know I want you…. It's not a secret I try to hide…" Raph's voice shook again, and he couldn't believe it when something started to trickle down his cheeks. He was crying. Why was he crying? "B-but I can't have you… we're bound to break and m-my hands…. Are tied." Raph clamped his eyes shut and yanked his hand out of April's, practically sprinting towards the turnstiles.

"RAPH, WAIT!" April called after him, and Raph was sort of shocked when he felt her grab his hand again. Crap, he forgot she was a ninja too. "Raph."

"Let go." Raph tried to growl, but it came out as a pathetic whimper. He was so pathetic. He freaking liked the girl his brother had a crush on! And she was human, and this was all just so so wrong! He couldn't love her, she was April! It wouldn't work, it just wouldn't!

"Raph, please."

"Let go of me, April… p-please…" April was silent for a moment, but didn't let go of his hand.

"Talk to me. Just talk to me about… what you feel." Raph clamped his eyes shut tighter. "I know what I feel… what do you feel, Raphael?" April's hand tightened on Raph's.

"I… I don't know…" Raph said softly. "I want… something… but I can't have it…"

"Why not?" April asked softly. Raph opened his eyes and slowly turned to look at her. She was crying too. "There's nothing wrong with this, Raph… nothing that actually matters to us. I mean, I know Donnie… y'know. But… don't you think he'd want us to be happy? I'm happy with you." Raph stared at her.

"A-April…. I…" what was he supposed to do? He really wanted this, he wanted to be with April, he's wanted it since the first time he saw her. But… "It doesn't…. I don't know what… what to do."

"Neither do I." April whispered. "I have no idea what I'm doing, Raph. All I know is that this feels right. And I don't want this moment to pass by and regret not doing something that I feel should happen…" Raph swallowed thickly, staring at her. Why couldn't he just… let himself have this? Why couldn't he just let himself love her?

"I-I want it to happen…" Raph said, his voice cracking. April grasped his hand even tighter, but not too tight to where it hurt, it was comforting. Her other hand reached up and cupped Raph's cheek. Raphael felt his walls crumble at her touch, and then they were both leaning closer to each other. Raph closed his eyes just as their lips met, it was a soft, unsure kiss. But to Raph, it felt like that small kiss just created a whole new galaxy, full of different, beautiful stars.

The End