I'm So Sorry
PoV: Cosmo Cosma
It was more than crying, it was a kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person completely drained of all hope. He sank to his knees at the tiny grave, not caring if the mud dirtied up his pants. His tears mangled with the rain gently falling onto the soil over the grave. The pain that flowed from him was unimageable and soon the only person at his side was his wife, struggling to keep her tears silent, looking up to the watery skies and heaven beyond. Following his wife's gaze, he began to believe his baby was safe up there, comfortable and warm. Returning his attention to the grave he wiped the leaves away from the grave.
Holding his hand out he desperately awaited the touch of the roses he collected. Upon receiving them from his wife he gently placed the roses onto of the grave. Standing up he took his wife into his arms and with one last look at the grave he began to guide her away from it. Watching himself and his wife Cosmo waited till they left and were out of sight before carefully approaching the grave they were at. Taking a look at the tombstone he gasped as memories he had kept locked away for so long began to resurface.
"HERE LIES LUCY COSMA"
"KILLED BY ABORTION"
"MARCH 21, 1987"
"JESUS FORGIVE US FOR WE KNOW NOT WHAT WE DO"
Reading the tombstone, the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down Cosmo's face. It was so painful for him to remember, for what he lost that day. Around Cosmo the rain began to fall, soaking up everything it came in contact with. Hanging his head, he watched as the ground began to disappear from sight as if it never before existed, to be replaced by nothing but darkness. Standing up he looked in all directions and at the sight of the rapidly approaching darkness he began to sprint in the opposite direction.
No matter how far he ran or how fast he ran the darkness seemed to catch up to him with ease. Engulfing him he stopped running and stood in place, watching the light slowly disappear from view. He patiently watched as a building began to form around him, cutting him off from the cold darkness. In the middle of the room at the kitchen table sat himself, and across from him was Wanda. He could see their mouths moving but heard no sound.
Then out of nowhere their voices rose above the sacred silence. A glance, touch, one small comment stirred a hurricane of harsh and malicious insults. The argument had a dull exhaustion to it, like they'd had been over the same bitterness too many times before.
"What the hell is wrong with you Cosmo?" Wanda screamed into Cosmo's face.
"YOU ARE MY PROBLEM! YOU'RE ALWAYS GIVING ME SHIT ABOUT SOMETHING!" Cosmo snapped back.
"What happen to you Cosmo? Since we had the abortion you've never been the same!" Wanda replied looking Cosmo dead in the eyes.
"I thought we both agreed never to bring the A word up ever again!" Cosmo said through clenched teeth.
"I don't need this right now, I'm going down to the pub to get a beer. Don't wait up for me!" Cosmo replied making his way to the front door and opening it.
Hearing the sound of the door being slammed Wanda began to sob into her hands and the tears began to drip between her fingers, raining down onto the smooth granite tiles below her feet. Losing all strength in her legs she sank to the floor. She cried until no more tears came, until she could no longer find her own voice. The Cosmo she once knew was so full of life, so empathetic, so happy. None of that remained in him now. He made it quite clear he no longer loved her, that she was no more then another burden on him. It broke her heart.
Then as the memory before everything began to fade leaving behind nothing but a fragment of a memory enriched in Cosmo's mind that would be best forgotten. Once again, he was the only thing inhabiting the bittering darkness.
At first the darkness of the room must have deceived him, or else his eyes were confused by the recent glare of the reading lamp. For a minute or two he could make out nothing more than the dark lumps of the furniture, the mass of the chest of drawers by the wall, and the white patch of the all too familiar bed sheets. On the bed laid Wanda in her usual night gown reading a copy of her favorite magazine Women's Health.
"WANDA!" a familiar voice screamed from the hallway.
Opening the door with great force Cosmo stepped in.
"ACCORDING TO BINKY HE SAW YOU WITH JUANDISSIMO! WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU DOING WITH HIM?!" Cosmo flared.
"Nothing I was just having coffee with a friend!" Wanda whispered scared by Cosmo's rage.
"BULLSHIT YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME WEREN'T YOU!" Cosmo screamed making his way over to Wanda.
"Cosmo, I went to have coffee with him with the intents to get away from you!" Wanda snapped back pointing at him.
As she continued to speak Cosmo bit his bottom lip and narrowed his eyes. Balling his hands into fists he sent his fist into the air with intentions to strike Wanda. Watching himself Cosmo realized what was about to happen. Turning his head away from the scene he closed his eyes as he a heard a bloodcurdling scream come from his wife, the same scream that still echoes through his head like a daring reminder of what he had done. The screams begin to grew intense until Cosmo's eardrums burst, unable to hear anything around him. Nothing but utter silence.
Time seemed to speed up as he watched the court room begin to fill up with people. Then all at once everything began to pass like the speed of light as if he wasn't seeing what he was suppose to. Then with the blink of an eye time began to return to its standard pace with Cosmo's hearing began to return to him.
"Mr. Cosma please sign your name to confirm you would like to go through with the divorce" the judge exclaimed.
Looking back at Wanda and sighing he picked up the pen and began to sign his name. Finally signing his last name, a tear began to travel down his cheek and onto the paper effectively staining it.
"The divorce has been confirmed by both sides, you two are now legally divorced" the judge said slamming down his gavel.
Hugging his daughter Big Daddy turned around to face in the direction of Cosmo.
"You're so lucky there are cops here, if there wasn't I probably would kill you for what you did to my baby girl!" Big Daddy said harshly through clenched teeth.
"I don't ever want to see you're face ever again, do you understand me dirtbag?" Big Daddy exclaimed.
"Yes, I understand" Cosmo responded through sobs.
Cosmo watched everything unfold from the side of the court room. He watched himself cry uncontrollably, being rejected even by his own mother.
"I'm so sorry" Cosmo whispered.
It wasn't long before she had everything packed and removed from the house. Having collected every single one of her belongings besides a single photograph she decided she would be better off without. She felt as it was a mistake she ever had the photo framed in the first place. She would leave it behind, not just the photograph but the memory of the day she got married to Cosmo.
"Goodbye Cosmo," Wanda said opening the door to the house, suitcase in each hand.
"Please… don't go…" Cosmo whispered through teary eyes watching her climb into her car.
"I love you," Cosmo blurted out as he awoke. He found his bed to be once again cold and lonely. He missed her warm gentle touch and her soothing voice that eased his worries as much as he missed the smell of her. His room was full of flowers, but their sent had turned to nothing ever since he saw her in the park with her arms wrapped around Juandissimo. The petals of the flowers were an array of elaborate colors: teal, lavender, ruby, and emerald, but to him they were only shades of grey. He missed her desperately when she was gone, but it was only after losing her for good is when he realized how much Wanda really meant to him. Not seeing her for a year brought back those feelings he hid deep inside himself. Love, passion, and most of all lust. No woman could fill the void that inhabited his broken heart. He had put love far from his mind discarding it as if it was a pair of shoes that he had outgrown, but now he walked barefoot.
I'm So Sorry / rE-B0oT