Mokuba's (Everyone's, Really) Greatest Adventure

It was a fine riding day, with only a few clouds bespattering the ink-blue sky, and Marik decided to go out for a ride on his prized Kawasaki motorcycle after a long, hard day of stealing priceless cards from virtually everyone around him. The life of a hardened Duel Monsters card thief was adequately difficult and tedious, and pretty rough on his pointy Millennium Rod which required constant sharpening on his diamond-cutting nails. After so many hours of cleaning off his bloodied fists and weapon of choice, he sagged into the lavishness of his leather Butty Buddy seat and already was daydreaming of whooshing past all of his victims, but it could not be done alone. No, he had to share it with somebody.

Rishid was not available at the time, the tattooed friend not even remotely available, as he was in Egypt orchestrating mayhem with the rest of the Ghouls. Arkana was off doing Arkana things and, frankly speaking, was a terrible conversationalist. There was Strings or Doll or Pantomimer or whatever the heck everyone wanted to call, but what good was dragging around a mime sightseeing?

And then he saw Mokuba, the happy-go-lucky brother to one of the frumpiest men he knew, walking down the street with his face buried in a KaibaCorp handheld for Capsule Monsters Chess. Surely he would like to sightsee, and Marik waved with all of his might.

"Mokuba! Get over here! We can go sightseeing together!" he called out, not at all contemplating that Mokuba knew he was kidnapped a gajillion times and would surely be suspicious.

"Okay!" shouted back Mokuba, breaking into a sprint with his handheld gripped inhumanly tightly in his hand.

Maybe this was why he was kidnapped a gajillion times.

"Great! Hop on board!"

"No! Don't! It's a trap!" Seto Kaiba yelled. Chief of KaibaCorp, chronic sourpuss, and overly alert – Seto was the perfect overly protective older sibling

"But I wanna, big brother!" Mokuba whined, weaseling himself into the passenger seat of the Butty Buddy.

"I said no! Go, Blue-eyes!" Kaiba announced, chucking forth a card from his deck at the engine. It never made the distance, being blown away by the most pathetic of winds a third of the way, but hey! the thought was cool.

"I invited him, and he agreed! Ergo, he will come! Game set match; quod erat demonstratum; FIN!" Marik huffed, sometimes knowing what he was saying, sometimes entirely rehearsing someone he met before but never remembered.

He started to take off, and Mokuba reached around Marik's wonderfully jacketed torso (he spit-shined it until it glistened in the morning sun, by thunder), but Seto slipped behind him at amazing speeds and grabbed ahold of Mokuba.

"Get off, you fool! You're going to wreck the engine if you're going to drag your feet like that!" Marik chided.

"Never! I'll never surrender my brother to your joyride!" countered Kaiba, and things seemed like it would never change after two miles of this.

The engine was overheating, entirely overtaxed, Mokuba's sweater was slowly growing longer from being grabbed, and Kaiba's shoes were sixty percent past losing their soles, but the worst was ahead of them, for Joey spotted Kaiba's amazing zip-tied shirt and had a single-minded purpose.

"Oh boy! Brekky wraps!" opined elated Jounouchi, looking at the silly-looking zip-ties around the arms and shoulders of his caped garments and quickly distinguishing them as breakfast. He chased after the overtaxed motorcycle, grabbed ahold of Seto, and started gnawing at a zip-tie with the goofiest of expressions.

"Get off me, you slobbering mutt!" said Seto.

"Get off me, big brother!" said Mokuba.

"Get off the bike, you three! It's reaching critical mass!" said Marik.

Marik's eyes went wide as the engine went from red-hot to white-hot to plaid-hot as the temperature showed no signs of lowering and then exploded, taking every single one of them into the Shadow Realm where they all had their life points lowered to a big fat zero and they lived miserable lives as parking valets to inky black shadow cars in a shadow parking lot.

THE END

A/N: Maybe comedy is a better fitting genre for this. Anyhow, so ends my crazy one-shot. I hope I doled out a smile to those who sought one.