A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for Hogwarts. Writing Club prompts are listed below. :)
Charms Task 10: Write about someone scared.
Word Count: 1421
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.
Enjoy!
"What is this."
It wasn't a question. It was a demand; Peter shrunk from it. "A letter," he whispered. "James, it's just a letter."
"A recruitment letter," James murmured to the stunned room. "For the Death Eaters."
Peter ran his hands through his blond hair, his shoulders shaking. "I didn't want it. Prongs, you have to believe that I didn't ask for this."
They were sitting in the Potters' sitting room with Sirius, Remus, and a heavily pregnant Lily. The atmosphere was tense, and Peter couldn't look at a single one of them.
It was Remus who spoke, his amber eyes heavy with an age that did not match his years. "We know you didn't apply. We want to know why you haven't burned it."
Peter fell silent. How was he supposed to explain that the war terrified him? That all his brushes with death had made him realize just how much he wanted to live? How could he possibly make the four bravest people he'd ever met understand that he had begun to feel alone enough that he was seriously considering making this horrible leap just to secure his own safety? It sounded selfish; it was selfish. But he had never been like the rest of them.
"Well?" Sirius barked. "Answer Remus. Why do you have that?"
"I don't know why they want me," Peter finally whispered, avoiding Sirius' grey-eyed gaze. "The letter just came, and… I'm afraid."
Sirius laughed cynically; that was another thing the war had changed—he never laughed from joy anymore. "You're afraid? We're all afraid, and yet we aren't in contact with Death Eaters."
"Sirius," Remus said sharply. "That's enough."
Sirius turned on the werewolf, his long, dark hair sticking out from all the tugging it had suffered from. "Enough? No, it bloody well isn't! He wants to become like them, because he's scared—we're all scared! I'm not running to join Voldemort, you're not joining a pack, James and Lily aren't—"
"He hasn't joined anything—"
"He's willing to put all of us in danger! He's considered it. He isn't the person we thought he was." Sirius shuddered and looked away.
Remus wrapped his arms around himself. His voice was cold when he spoke. "This coming from the person who suspects me of sabotage just because of what I am."
Four pairs of eyes shot over to the werewolf in disbelief. "What?" Sirius asked hoarsely, stunned.
"Did you think I wouldn't notice? You've been drawing away from me lately—this is the first time you've said my name in months. Peter is scared for his life, our lives—but you go and incriminate me based on a prejudice you claim to be above of." Remus was trembling with rage, and Peter wondered how long the young man had been waiting to say this. "You made me a promise. I know I'm not—" Here his voice cracked, but he plowed on. "I know that I'm not like the rest of you. I know I'm different, and dangerous. But I honestly believed that you knew me well enough to know that I would die for each and every one of you."
Sirius looked ashamed of himself as he stared at the floor. "Moony…"
"Don't," Remus whispered harshly. "You can't keep your promises, so don't bother making them."
James stepped forward. "You two need to talk this out, but later. We have a different issue to discuss." Their eyes fell back on Peter, who broke out in a sweat.
Lily stood up, her electric blue shirt contrasting with the stoic expression on her face. Hands on her aching back, she addressed James. "You four need to figure this out yourselves. I'm going to get some rest."
She left the room, and the four men were left alone.
"Peter," James began, his voice barely above a whisper and carefully controlled. "Do you want to be a Death Eater?"
Peter met James' hazel eyes and said honestly, "No."
"Then why…" James took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then why did you keep the letter?"
Peter bit his lip. "I… I don't want him to kill me," he finally admitted. "I'm not brave like you all are; I'm not skilled. I'll die in the battlefield, and I don't want that to happen. Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now, but I'm not. I'm just… scared."
Remus ran a hand through his brown locks. "It's normal to be frightened. I… I understand why you're worried."
James was gazing out at the dark summer sky, which was littered with stars. "What do you mean, Moony?"
Remus looked away. "They want me to… to join their packs. And their reactions to my refusals can get… violent."
Sirius made a sound of anger, but James held up a hand to silence him. "You're telling me," he began, his voice laced with disbelief, "that the two of you have both been approached by people who wish you harm, and you haven't told us?"
Peter's shoulders shook. "You make it sound easy. Like there is a very easy choice to make. But this isn't black and white. I want to be with you all, but Remus is right—you're pulling away. And I know that I can't do this on my own."
Remus nodded slowly. "Their hatred is strong. We can't just walk away without fear of repercussion. They've taken notice of us. And what were we supposed to say? Look at how you're reacting now! Peter hasn't even accepted the letter; it's just in his possession. You two—you've never had to fear the world like we have."
Sirius laughed hollowly at this. "Merlin Remus, don't be an idiot. Of course I have. I come from a family of dark wizards; if anyone knows what it's like to fear the consequences of their decisions, it's me."
Silence followed his words. James collapsed in a chair, Remus and Sirius were glaring at each other, and Peter was just staring out the window.
"I failed you all," James whispered. "It's my job to hold us all together, but I was so focused on protecting my family that I forgot to protect my brothers. You are all my family, and I let you drown. I'm so sorry."
No one spoke for a moment. James was their glue; he never broke, he never despaired. To see him now, so upset and hopeless, was jarring for the other three men. Something had to be done, but none of them knew how to fix their splintering relationship.
"This isn't your fault," Remus finally murmured quietly. "All of us… we all failed to stay together. We all broke our promises." He looked at Sirius, remorse written all over his face. "Padfoot, I—"
"If you apologize, Moony, I'll break your nose." He looked at the other man, ashamed. "You're right about me. I did suspect you; I had no reason to, but I still did. And I'm sorry about that."
"You don't break your promises," Remus muttered. "And these times are hard for everyone; you were right to be suspicious."
While they continued to push the blame back and forth, James turned to Peter, his dark hair even more untidy than usual. "What are you going to do now?"
Peter considered Lily and James, and unborn baby Harry. He didn't want to put them in any danger. But at the same time, he feared for himself.
"This is going to be dangerous, isn't it?" he asked softly.
James hesitated, then nodded. He was wary, which was what Peter expected; he'd lost James' trust, and it would take a while for him to fully earn it back. "Peter, I promise you that we'll be there this time. I won't let us drift apart again. We're the Marauders; it's all for one—"
"—and one for all," Peter finished quietly. He swallowed. He took the letter from James, then with a flick of his wand set it aflame. Remus and Sirius paused in their long journey to forgiveness to watch it turn to ashes.
Peter took a deep breath and turned to James. "I'm staying here, with all of you."
James' face broke into a grin, and he ran to embrace his friend. Remus and Sirius joined in, and Peter smiled. He didn't know if he'd regret his choice, or if it was even the right one to make. But right here, in this moment, he couldn't see how he could possibly be wrong.
They were the Marauders, after all. Nothing could come between them.
A/N: Writing Club Prompts:
Disney Challenge: That's What Friends Are For — write a friendship story
Dark Lady's Diabolical Lair: write about a horrific discovery
Book Club: Angela — (relationship) best friend, (word) normal, (trait) protective
Lyric Alley: Cheated and lied, broken so bad
Emy's Emporium: Griphook — (theme) broken promise(s)
Angel's Arcade: Sonic the Hedgehog — (action) running, (color) electric blue, (season) summer
Lo's Lowdown: (dialogue) "Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now, but I'm not."
Bex's Basement: Danny, The Champion of the World — alt. Write about being scared of something, but doing it anyway
Film Festival: (genre) friendship