"Sasuke!" Naruto called to his lover. They were at Naruto's new house and was Naruto angry. No, scratch that. Naruto was pissed. "What?" Sasuke walked down the stairs with a wet body and a towel just barely covering his lower half. Naruto almost forgot what he was about to say.
"Why the heck is there a cat in my new house?" Naruto gestured to the box on the floor that held a small cat. Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked over to the box. "I found him yesterday on my way home from a mission and thought 'why not keep him?' and so I did." He bent down and petted the cat on the head and scratched behind his ear lightly. The cat purred softly.
The cat had short black fur and his eyes were mixed between blue and green. His nose was a pinkish color. He was so skinny that if you picked him up, it would feel like you were carrying air. Naruto had felt kind of sorry for the baby kitty and let up on his anger.
"What are you going to name him?" Naruto asked. His eyes were still on the cat, watching him curiously. "I don't know. Have any ideas?" Sasuke kissed the cat on the head and Naruto saw the raw happiness on his face. He realized that was the first time Sasuke had been truly happy, and he felt a little guilty. It wasn't his fault Sasuke was a stiff, but he felt guilty because he didn't know how to make him happy.
"Nope. Wait- I do! How about Ramen?" Sasuke stared at Naruto. "Ramen?" Sasuke turned to look at the cat, then at Naruto again. "Hmm. That could work." Sasuke picked up the cat and held him in his arms, rocking him softly. Naruto stared with wide eyes before Sasuke put the kitty down and turned around to walked away.
"I'm going to go make him a new bed. Play nice or no sex for three months." Naruto stared at him like he was crazy. He had no comments so he just stayed silent for a while, staring a the cat. Then, a miracle happened.
"How long are you going to stare?" Ramen asked, his piercing mixed eyes stared into his. "I can do no harm to you. I only have claws that could tear your face apart, but I'm too nice for that." The cat started bathing himself. "Oh, and I have fleas." Naruto just stared at him with confusion and said "Is this a trick?"
Ramen continued to bathe himself as he talked. "Nope. I'm not a figment of your imagination. I am indeed real, and you are seriously having a one-on-one conversation with me, though I'm doing the most talking. And before you ask the next question, no you are not the only one that can hear me. Your boyfriend had heard me calling out to him but didn't know it was actually me. He thought it was a store clerk or something like that."
Naruto just stared at the cat with wide eyes. A cat, a freaking cat, was talking to him. Not only was he smarter then him, but he knew almost every thought he was thinking. "Well, I hope you know that Sasuke is mine, and he will never be yours." Ramen stopped bathing altogether and turned to stare at Naruto with what seemed like a smirk. "That's where you are wrong, my dear Naruto. You see, I make him happy, while you do nothing but most likely irritate him." Boy was he right about that. Naruto stayed quiet as the anger built up. His eyes turned red and he heard the Kyubi inside him say "kill him, kill him." but he ignored him.
Naruto thought over this for awhile and finally got an idea. His eyes remained on Ramen, and he let out a dangerous smirk. "Then let's turn this into a bet. Who ever can make him really happy by the end of this month wins, and the loser has to leave Sasuke's life forever." Naruto held his gaze with much intent and saw that Ramen was pondering this suggestion as well.
"Sure, why not. I'm going to win, no matter what you say." Ramen held much enthusiasm about this. Naruto smiled and held out his hand. "Deal?" Ramen grabbed Naruto's hand with his paw and shook it. "Deal."
Day: 1
"Naruto!" Sasuke was highly upset and Naruto heard it in his voice. He gulped loudly and walked up the stairs to his waiting lover. He reached the door and opened it slowly. As soon as the door was opened all the way, a shoe hit him square in the face and he yelled out in pain.
"Y-yes?" Naruto removed the shoe from his face and watched as Sasuke walked swiftly to him, his hips swaying. God, did he look sexy. His hair swayed simultaneously with his hips, and his eyes held screamed 'take me'. Naruto forgot entirely about how much pain he was in and the deal with the cat as Sasuke kissed him on the lips.
Naruto kissed back passionately and his hands found there way to Sasuke's hair. Sasuke took this as a sign and slipped his tongue into Naruto's. They both fought for dominance, but let it slide as a tie for they both needed air. Not even three seconds after separation were they back at each other's mouth, practically devouring each other.
"Meow." Two syllables had Sasuke torn away from his lips. Four letters had him wanting to kill Ramen. One word had Sasuke completely fixated on Ramen, petting his fur and scratching him behind the ear and just at the base of his tail. This had been going on since yesterday. When Naruto was just about to get into Sasuke's pants, the stupid little flea meowed and Sasuke paid no attention to Naruto.
Naruto stared at Sasuke and sighed. "If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom." Sasuke only grunted as Naruto walked off. Even down the hall he could hear Sasuke saying "you are just so adorable!" It was beyond annoying.
Naruto reached the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He undressed quickly and turned on the shower. He let the cold water run as he sighed irritably. "How dare that little punk take away my Sasuke!" He got into the water and after three seconds, he screamed. It was so loud that Sasuke heard it three doors down. "Naruto?" He let go of Ramen and rushed to the bathroom.
He opened the door and found a passed out Naruto on the ground. The water was still running and he got worried. Sasuke closed the door behind him and got a towel from the wall rack. "Naruto?" He walked over to Naruto cautiously and felt the water. It was freezing cold! No wonder he passed out.
He quickly got Naruto out of the shower and into the towel. He wrapped him in it so he wouldn't start shivering and picked him up. Sasuke carried him bridal-style to their room and laid him down gently on the bed. Sasuke kissed Naruto's head gently and pulled the covers over him. He walked over to the drawers and grabbed underwear and an orange long sleeved shirt with his matching orange pajama bottoms.
Sasuke unwrapped the towel and dressed Naruto. It took him eleven seconds to dress. After dressing him though, he got up to return the bath towel. While he was away, Ramen jumped on the bed and whispered into Naruto's ear. "Well played, Naruto."
Sasuke came in and found Ramen at the center of the bed. "No, Ramen. Today's not a good day to want to play with Naruto." He picked up Ramen and set him outside the door. "Maybe tomorrow all three of us will play together." He closed the door on Ramen and returned back to his Naruto.
Somewhere between slipping in and out of consciousness, Naruto heard Ramen tell him "Well played, Naruto" and Sasuke tell him reject him for the first time in two days. He smiled inwardly to himself. 'I'll win this bet. Just you wait, you stupid little fur ball.' And with that, Naruto fell back into a deep sleep and dreamt of Ramen leaving the house for good.
Day: 4
All day yesterday and the day before Naruto was knocked out. And all day yesterday and the day before, Ramen was paid no attention to. Sasuke did all he could to nurse Naruto back to health and wake him up. Naruto would open his eyes every now and then, but he would still be asleep. Sasuke would call his name but Naruto wouldn't answer, or even look in his direction.
Then, finally, Sasuke held Naruto's hand and said "Wake up you dobe." and Naruto swung his eyes open, as if those were the magic words. Naruto smiled weakly at his lovers' teary form and said "I love you." Sasuke jerked Naruto into a hug and nearly crushed him with his brute strength.
Behind the door, Ramen was bathing himself angrily. "Stupid Naruto!" he cursed Naruto's very name. There was only three days left until the bet would pick it's winner, and at this rate, he was sure Naruto would win it. But then, an idea popped up.
"Sasuke, let me up. I have to go the bathroom really badly." Naruto said through clenched teeth. Sasuke let go of Naruto and sighed. "Hurry back, OK?" Naruto smiled and removed all the cover off of him and got up. He opened the door to find Ramen standing there with red eyes.
"Well, hello Ramen." Naruto said surprised. He knew Ramen was the jealous type but sheesh, would it kill him to give them privacy? "Hmph." Was Ramen's only reply. He continued to stare at Naruto as he made his way to the bathroom. Then, he put his plan into action.
Since the bathroom was at the end of the hall, it was facing straight forward instead of the side, like the rest of the rooms on the second floor. And on the first day of his arrival, Ramen had decided to go exploring his new home. He had found three holes throughout the new house, which were poorly concealed by wallpaper.
One of the holes happened to be leading into the bathroom Naruto was in. He took this opportunity and scratched at the wall where he had mentally photographed. The wallpaper had came undone and he entered the bathroom to find Naruto using the toilet. The angle of the hole happened to face opposite of the toilet, so when Naruto turned around to leave, he would probably see the hole.
But, Naruto was too dense to notice something as simple as that. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands, wiping them on the hand towel and exiting the bathroom. He never saw Ramen standing there like a statue, nor did he see the obvious hole. Ramen shook his head with hate for the orange haired boy and walked out of the bathroom.
"Ramen!" Sasuke called. Ramen heard his name being called and ran to the room, hoping to get attention again. When he reached the room, Naruto was cuddled up to Sasuke's lap and Sasuke was stroking Naruto's hair. Ramen looked completely confused, but jumped on the bed nonetheless.
"Good boy." Sasuke said, and with his other hand, he reached out to pet Ramen. Ramen purred loudly and rubbed his head against Sasuke's leg. Sasuke chuckled slightly and Naruto shot Ramen a glare. Then, a thought crossed his mind.
"Sasuke?" Sasuke looked at him and replied "Hm?" Naruto looked at him with big eyes and asked "For getting well, can we have sex?" Ramen stared at Naruto in disbelief and meowed. "Oh shut up, you stupid over-rated ugly flea ball!" Naruto snapped. He was tired of Ramen ruining his chances at getting their life back to normal again.
Sasuke pushed Naruto off of him and unto the ground. "What was that for?" Naruto said, trying to get up. "How dare you talk to Ramen like that!" Sasuke looked so mad that he couldn't believe this. "I'll talk to him however way I want! Ramen is annoying and useless, and I for one definitely don't need him1"
Sasuke looked a little bit hurt, but Naruto kept on going. "You're the one that wanted him, not me! I never agreed to keeping him, but you just somehow thought I was happy with it. But you know what? It's fine. If you want him so bad, you can keep him. Just don't expect me to stick around."
Naruto got up from the floor and stormed off. He slammed the door behind him and Sasuke jumped a little. He had never seen Naruto so angry over something, especially something as small as this. It made him a little angry, but sad was the dominant emotion.
"He'll come back and apologize. He always does." Was his reassuring words. But as the time ticked forward, he was in doubt about that.
Day: 6
Two days ago, Naruto had stormed off from the house due to Sasuke's ignorance. He didn't see that the cat practically took control of his life, ruining their once beautiful relationship. The bond those two shared until six days ago was now broken, and Naruto pinned the blame on all himself.
'If I had just told him in the very beginning, "Sasuke, we don't need a cat" and argued, I would have eventually won and we would have been happy.' Naruto thought to himself. He was still in turmoil over the fact that one measly little cat took not only his boyfriend, but his best friend away from him. That angered him to no extent.
"So, let me get this straight." A pink haired Sakura said. "He basically dumped you for a talking cat with whom you made a bet with?" Naruto sighed at how stupid it sounded, but the truth was the truth, and couldn't be formed in any other way. "Yeah, that's the short version. You don't even want to hear the long one."
Three hours after storming out of the house, Naruto had grabbed a sweater and had made his way over to Lee's house for two nights, and then had decided to go tell Sakura everything. She would know the right things to say, he was sure of it.
"Well, Naruto, his birthday is coming up right?" Sakura asked, tapping her fingers lightly against her jaw. He gave her a stern look before replying "Yeah, it's tomorrow and I have absolutely no idea what to get him." Naruto sighed again, but this time louder. He wanted, no, needed, to win this bet, but now he was unsure what to do since he and Sasuke had just had the biggest fight in their whole entire relationship.
"Well, how about your love? He is probably so hung up that you abandoned him with a cat that he'd do anything at this point to get you back. I mean, he loves you, Naruto, not some dumb old cat that he found coming home from a mission. Think about it." Sakura got up from the sofa in the living room and grabbed the nearby phone.
"Here, call him." She handed him the phone when she returned to her seat. Naruto looked at the phone like it was contagious. "Are you sure?" Naruto was still looking at the phone, but he looked up just in time to see Sakura nod her head. "OK." Naruto took a deep breath and dialed the number to the house. It rang three times until Sasuke answered the phone.
"What do you want, Sakura?" Sasuke said, completely irritated. "Sasuke? It's not Sakura. It's Naruto." There was silence at the other end until Sasuke spoke. "Naruto, why would you do that to me?" Sasuke asked through clenched teeth. Naruto could tell he was holding back the tears by the way he talked. He felt like he'd start crying to, but he held it in.
"You want to know why? Ask that damn cat of yours. He split us apart. And you wanna know something else? He can talk! Yeah, trust me when I say he knows the human language and can speak it fluently. I wanted to warn you. I wanted to warn you so badly but I was waiting for the time when you figured it out that he's the reason I'm at Sakura's and not with you!"
Sasuke remained quiet as he felt his throat close up. The tears were coming now and he couldn't stop them. He loved Naruto more then life itself, and he had let a cat drive them so far apart that they had to fight, even when at the beginning of the relationship they swore never to let that happen. He felt solely responsible for letting this happen.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Naruto." Sasuke's voice came out small, but the message was as clear as day. There was silence on Naruto's side, and then a small click. Sasuke removed the phone from his ear and looked at the cat sitting on his lap. Ramen's blue and green eyes seemed to mock him, and that angered him.
"Get off me." Sasuke said dangerously. Ramen cocked his head to the side as if he didn't hear him. Sasuke repeated it slowly, but this time he snapped. "Get off me before I throw you in front of the nearest train tracks." Ramen smiled and said "Yeah, right, like you would." Sasuke wasn't surprised that he had spoke since Naruto had warned him of this, but he was irritated that he had decided to do so at this very moment.
"Don't try me." Sasuke said as he shoved the cat off him. The second Ramen's feet hit the ground he jumped back up and attacked Sasuke. His claws came into contact with Sasuke's face and Sasuke punched him in the stomach. Three scratches came across both of Sasuke's cheeks, and he felt the blood trickle down them and unto his shirt.
Just at that moment, the door swung open and Naruto was standing there holding a box and duct tape. "What are you planning to do, ship me off to Antarctica?" Ramen joked. Naruto smirked and looked at Sasuke. "Grab him!"
Sasuke activated his Sharingan and trapped Ramen in a genjutsu. While Ramen was pre-occupied, Sasuke grabbed him and placed him in the box, closing it and holding it down while Ramen thrashed about angrily. Naruto unraveled the duct tape sealed the box, making sure there was no way the cat could get freed.
Naruto picked up the box and walked outside with it, kicking the box so that it would land somewhere far away from them. He walked back in side the house and sighed, closing the door gently. He stalked off the bedroom and found a bleeding Sasuke.
"Are you OK?" Naruto asked, stroking Sasuke's cheeks. Sasuke winced when Naruto's knuckles brushed slightly harder against his scratches, but smiled. "Yeah." Naruto sat down next to Sasuke and they both sat there at the edge of the bed in complete silence. It was awkward, but rather comfortable.
"You know," Naruto started, staring at the door in front of him. "me and the cat made a bet the first day you found him." Sasuke turned to face Naruto with interest. "We betted that whoever could make you happy by tomorrow won, and that the loser would step away from your life forever."
Naruto was just about to get up when a hand to the face sent him falling to the ground. "Ow. What was that for?" Naruto was rubbing his cheek and saw Sasuke look at him with sad eyes. "And what would you have done if you had lose? Did you ever think about how I would react if you suddenly say 'I can't see you no more, goodbye.'? I would get rid of everything I have just to be in your presence."
Naruto was astounded that Sasuke thought that about him. "Really?" Naruto asked smiling. He was so happy that he couldn't even believe it. "Yeah. I would never lie to you, Naruto." Now that the cat was gone, he could finally have what he had been wanting for the past week.
"Want to go see a movie?" Naruto asked. Sasuke stared at him with wide eyes, but agreed to it. Sasuke got up from the bed and helped Naruto get off the floor. Naruto and Sasuke headed to the bathroom first to clean his face. When the blood was all gone, they both grabbed money from the dresser and headed for the movies.
They were just in time to catch the beginning of the new movie 'Raid'. When they got inside, they sat in the back and watched the commercials. They figured they had enough time to go but some snacks before it started. "I'll go." Naruto offered. Sasuke told him what he wanted and so Naruto went outside to the snack table.
When he got back, Sasuke was surrounded by girls. He looked irritated, and Naruto could tell he was about to snap. Naruto walked over there and said "Ladies, ladies, that's my boyfriend who's pants you're trying to get in." All the girls fell silent, and moved out the way. To prove that they were dating, Naruto kissed Sasuke right on the mouth, and they stayed like that for a couple of minutes.
Most of the girls fainted and some of them called the couple, quote, 'disgustingly gay'. They didn't mind though, so they kept to themselves throughout the whole of the movie.
The next day, Sasuke woke up to the smell of eggs and toast. He felt around the bed to find Naruto gone. Sasuke sighed inaudibly and made his way to the kitchen where Naruto was wearing nothing but his pajama pants. Sasuke felt his face heat up and said "ahem" to catch Naruto's attention.
"Yes, Sasuke?" Naruto said, keeping his eyes on the frying eggs. He could feel Sasuke's eyes boring into him, but he ignored it. "Nothing." Naruto smiled and said "Could you go wash your hands, please?" Sasuke sighed and stalked off to the bathroom.
When he came back, the food was ready and there was a whole bunch of people in their kitchen. He recognized the faces and smiled. "Sasuke-kun, come over here." Sakura said from the living room. He walked over to her and found that their were so many presents on the table that he could open a store with them.
Naruto said out loud "Now!" and the whole entire room vibrated as everyone sshouted happy birthday to him. Many people had brought cake, but Naruto wanted him to have breakfast first.
Everyone ate in contentment and reminisced about all the good times and the mistakes they all made. Throughout all of it, Naruto and Sasuke had escaped the chaos and were outside in the front yard. Naruto smiled at Sasuke brightly and said "So can your present from me be sex?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes at the question and replied "Yeah, but then you'd be giving me two presents." Naruto looked confused. "What is the first one?" Sasuke leaned over and kissed him so everyone could see, through the window or not. "You."
And the two happy couple lived for ever happily after.