Thoughts

Author Note:

This is just a short fic about what Serena might think about when her life sometimes just seems like too much...not suicidal, but you'll see what I mean. It takes place after the Sailor Moon S series. Hey, I'm not against mail. Let me know what you think, k? Oh, there's a little mixing of the Japanese and North American versions, but you'll know what I mean when you read ;) Be gentle, since its my first story, so I'm not sure if I got the spacing right and other miscellaneous things you don't have to worry about...Oh well, just enjoy:)

Standard Disclaimers Apply; i.e., I don't own Sailor Moon

Sighing as she closed the front door, Serena made her way down the path and up the street towards the park. After dinner, she decided to talk a walk; she couldn't deal with her unknowing family that evening. It hurt that she couldn't tell some of the people she loved about her other identities, that she had to lie to them and try to maintain a sense of normalcy with them. She also thought of Molly, her best friend whom she hadn't talked to in months. Ever since Nephlite, Serena though Molly might have know something, but the redhead didn't betray any such thoughts. About this time, Serena passed the apartment where Darien live, but decided against asking him to join her for her walk. Shortly after, she reached Juuban Park.

As Serena walked through the park, she thought of all the trouble, stress and hardships of being Serena Tsukino, Sailor Moon, and the Princess of the Moon Kingdom. All three were separate enigmas that demanded an extreme that depends on the personality, and by any right, should have been three separate people. But they were all one body, and left as one person to deal with the trials that each life brings.

Serena sighed when she thought of Sailor Moon, whose purpose to protect the Earth and its people, even if she died in the process. Saturn had the same objectives, albeit hers was to protect the Moon Princess, not Earth, and she did die, but as the Senshi of Rebirth and Revolution, it was her destiny to do so and be reborn to serve again; she was somewhat used to it, bizarre as it seems.

As she turned a bend on the path, Serena pulled her jacket around her a little more snuggly from the cool breeze that blew clouds over the moon. Like the breeze and the clouds, there were and are various evil forces that want to possess or harm the Moon Princess, or control the Earth. As the Princess she had to, and would have to face these forces and triumph for the sake of good and mankind. Just the knowledge of it sent an additional chill down Serena's spine, because even though she had the other senshi to help her, it ultimately would depend on her. She also thought of Reenie - the little spore that was her child from the future. They both knew they loved one another deeply underneath the insults and the fights, but she also knew that for Reenie to exist is depended on her...well, her and Darien, anyway.

Last, and certainly not least, the third aspect of Serena's personality would be that of Serena Tsukino - the girl who hosts these reincarnations. Even though her natural light and love of life and everything living had permitted her to rarely be down about the responsibilities thrust on her the day her black cat Luna said hello, tonight seemed to be one of those nights that she just needed to think. The burden of having the secret identity of Sailor Moon and the Moon Princess was left for Serena to carry. Low grades because of no time to study; being late because of late night fights with whatever the current evil force was, it didn't matter. The downfalls all fell on Serena Tsukino's slim shoulders.

There was Darien; her soul- and life mate, her protector, her Mamo-chan. She had him, of course, to help her through whatever trouble she might have whether it is school work, the Negaverse or the NegaMoon, but sometimes she just needed to be alone, to think for herself and be herself. Yes, she did sometimes want to kill the lunar black cat and throw away the locket so she could just be a normal girl, but knowing the number of lives she saved and the people she kept happy was sometimes enough to help her get through whatever doubts she had about her secret life.

'WHY!?!?!?! Why me!?!?!? Why do I have this burden!?!?' she screamed silently in her mind. But even as she wondered why in her mind, her heart and soul were reminding her that only she had the will of mind, body, spirit and soul to handle and succeed in the destiny handed to her by fate. That only she had the disposition and grace (even though not always apparent) to fight for good, banish evil, seek retribution in necessary situations, and grant forgiveness to those who deserved it.

While this seemingly long conversation in her mind was occurring, the full moon came out from behind the cloud that was blocking it, and shone in all its glory down on Earth, bringing light and peace to the dark night. Serena smiled slightly as she thought of how alike she and the moon were, both overcoming whatever obstacles to bring light and peace to the darkness...or the Earth in this case.

As she walked down the path on her way out of the park to her home, the moon shone down on her, and seemed to clear her mind, as her walks in the park at night often did. She smiled as she thought of the other side of the 'naggy' lunar cat that would come out when she curled up on Serena's lap when she came home, letting her know without words that she understood and loved her. 'The old hairball isn't so bad when she wants to be' Serena thought, smiling softly.

As Serena smiled, her mind finally at peace, the moon seemed to shine brighter on all the people under it; lovers cuddled closer at the romance of a moonlight stroll; other troubled people found a sliver of hope in their lives; children smiled in their sleep as the moonlight shone on their faces; but most of all, the Princess of the Moon, the protector of the Earth and a seemingly normal girl from Earth all smiled as they made their way...or rather, as she made her way home, to both an ironic sense of normalcy with her family, to a sense of duty, love and honor with the senshi fighting to protect the planet, and to a sense of fantasy that awaited her when she and her 'Mamo-chan' spent time together.

Fin

Well, I guess it's not so bad for a first effort.