Fic Title: (A Rose) By Any Other Name
Rating: K+ - For romantic references.
Spoilers: Dr Who: Parting of the Ways - Torchwood: End of Days
Pairing: Jack Harkness/???
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and Torchwood are not my property, I've only been playing with them.
Summary: Jack sacrificed himself to kill Abaddon, but what happened to his spirit while his body was dead?

By Any Other Name.

A Torchwood/Dr Who Crossover.

The agony that had seared every nerve-ending in his body was suddenly gone.

He didn't feel the ground shake and tremble as the massive body of Abaddon struck it and landed just beside his own supine body.

In fact, he no longer felt anything.

He had died before, he remembered, and then it had been a blackness, a nothing that wasn't even characterised by thought or memory. But this was different. Perhaps he wasn't dead.

He 'looked' around the space nearby and realised that what he was experiencing was not blackness, but a warm, ambient golden light. No, this certainly wasn't death as he remembered it.

He felt eyes regarding him and turned, watching as the figure approached. A medium-height person came into view and he became aware that the light emanated from her. Yes, it was a female form that was sure. Squinting through the light to meet her eyes, he was startled to realise he knew her.

"Rose?" In his ears his own voice seemed distant, as if in a dream. But if this was a dream, then what was Rose doing here?

"I am not she, Jack" came the ethereal response. "Rose is gone. But I remain."

"If you aren't Rose, then who the hell are you?"

"I have no name, Jack" she retorted, sadness in that quiet voice. "I have only form and that is something you will not understand."

"Alright" he said, jamming his hands in the pockets of his overcoat. "Then if you can't tell me WHO you are, at least tell me WHAT you are."

"I am destiny and I am madness." she smiled very faintly "I am that which loves all who travel with me."

Jack was confused, but chose to let that ride for now. "So what are you here for?"

"To protect and guide you, Jack. To help you understand yourself, so that you can fulfil the destiny you are marked for."

"So what? You gonna Scrooge me? Are you the ghost of Christmas present, past or future?"

"All of them… and none." Jack sighed, wishing for once he could get a straight answer. "A straight answer is something that you obviously need, Jack, but these happenings are more than even you can comprehend."

A sense of belligerence came over him and he crossed his arms, trying not to snarl at this luminescent figure. "So, I'm Scrooge and you're Marley. Go on, then... take me through this voyage of discovery."

"You mistake my meaning, Jack."

"Then why the hell don't you just give me a straight answer?" This time he couldn't keep the snarl out of his voice and snapped his arms to his sides, taking a threatening step forward, towards the familiar figure.

The last time he'd seen her, he'd kissed her. He had thought never to see her again and this time he was torn between frustration, anger and a longing to touch her again.

But as he was trying to decide his next move, the light changed a little. "What's happening?" he demanded, turning on the spot and trying to make it out.

The light dimmed, became less warm and more clinical. "C'mon Jack..." he heard Gwen say, pleading with him, her voice deepened by the sadness that clenched at her heart. "Ya're just sleepin'. Now c'mon and wake up."

Jack finally saw himself, lying in a white shroud inside a body-bag. He shuddered, feeling physically sick for a moment. Then the hand of light touched him. "It's OK, Jack" Rose reassured him, "it's a normal reaction."

"So I'm dead, then?"

"The body you have been using is exhausted." Taking his shoulders, she turned him slightly, so that he faced her. Except his eyes kept being drawn back to the morgue and his body. "Jack..." Rose called. She squared her shoulders and used another name; a name he had not heard in a long time.

"I'm not him any more" he said, slowly raising eyes to meet that glow. "When the Agency took my memories, they took that name. It doesn't belong to me any more."

"What is in a name?" she quoted softly "That which we call a Rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

"Stop it!" he almost yelled, tearing emotion-filled eyes away from the grisly scene of Gwen attending to his corpse and away from the glowing figure. "Stop pretending you're her!"

"Then should I be him?" the figure said. The light grew taller, until a thin man, dressed in a weathered leather jacket stood behind Jack. His lilting Northern accent now filling the air in a baritone that evoked so many memories for Jack.

He choked on the tears that burned his throat and a strangled noise escaped him. This was even more painful. He had loved the Doctor, more than any other man he'd ever met. And the Doctor, that maverick Gallifreyan, was so far beyond his reach that the ache in Jack's heart felt as large as the rift through Cardiff. "You..." he coughed, trying to stop his voice breaking under the weight of his emotions. "You're not him either."

"The Doctor lives inside me, Jack. As I live inside him. I love him as much as I loved you; and I loved you enough to bring you back from oblivion."

"There's... no such place." he whispered, a glimpse of understanding suddenly flaring within him. "You're the Heart of the TARDIS?" Tilting, he turned a little to look sideways at him. It was the same Doctor, that tall, slim frame, the short-cropped brown hair... those lips, so soft and inviting.

"That is a function I have performed, yes. But it is not all that I am."

"I didn't realise you were… alive." Against his better judgement, he took a faltering step forward, raising a hand towards the figure.

Capturing his hand, the Doctor pressed it to his warm flesh, letting Jack feel everything in that single touch; the faint stubble under his hand, the warmth of the skin, the touch of flesh on flesh. But the touch was fleeting, Jack pulled back as if burned, then cradled that hand in the other before turning away. No one would see the pain and anguish that burned in his heart.

"Shall I tell you a story, Jack?" he whispered, letting images grow in clarity on the light that emitted from his body. "I was born before Gallifrey even existed. I existed, before the Daleks and even before some of the galaxies were born. We have no name as a race, but suffice it to say we were old before Gallifreyan even understood the nature of the physical universe.

"We watched as they took their first steps from the swamps and realised that the promise of intellect was there. We watched as they learned to explore their home world. We watched as they flew and as they escaped into space. And finally, when Omega discovered the solution, we helped them to achieve their destiny as the Time Lords."

Jack watched this being as he spoke. Such familiar sounds, but a story unlike any he had ever heard.

"When the Time Lords created the first TARDIS, we joined, one by one, into the very hearts of these creations. We would watch and guide the Time Lords. Except that as our souls touched the machine, we somehow lost ourselves.

"I am, or rather, I was one of the youngest and one of the last to take the form of a TARDIS. The being to whom my TARDIS belonged was one of the last, truly great men. Our Doctor."

The form of the Doctor seemed to bleed away as Jack watched, to be replaced by a wizened old man, with longish white hair. "I travelled with him and his granddaughter for a time, until she returned to Gallifrey."

Again, the figure changed, diminishing into that of a slightly younger man, a mop of black hair on his head and a flute in his hand. "With the Doctor, I explored the universe. It was then that I realised our bond was special. But the wilfulness of this man got him in trouble."

Again, the figure changed, growing taller, thinner and again white-haired. A velvet jacket settled around his shoulders, framed by the fuffles of a white shirt. A hook-nosed man looked down at him with glittering eyes. "He always loved the Earth and his people exiled him there, so he could atone for his meddling."

The white hair grew longer and curlier and now, instead of a velvet dress-coat, he wore a long duffel coat and an even longer scarf. "And so we travelled again, listening to the universe and to each other."

The Doctor paused, before reaching into his pocket and withdrawing a small, white paper bag and proffering it with a toothy grin "Would you like a jelly baby?"

At Jack's refusal, the figure that represented the fourth Doctor, shrugged, took one for himself and then replaced the bag in his pocket.

Looking up, his hair, thinned, growing lighter and straighter. A more wiry man replaced him dressed in what looked like Cricket whites... with a stick of celery on the lapel? Jack frowned, unable to tear his eyes away from this curious transformation. This man scratched his chin thoughtfully and then smiled a little "This incarnation started off on a very bad foot. For a long time he was weakened because I had not been able to help his mind heal. But even this one was dear to me."

The hair grew curly again, as his shoulders bulked out a little and the face grew rounder. A garish jacket was almost drowned out by the gleam of light that still surrounded the figure. "In this form, he battled himself as a man accused before the council of Time Lords. Eventually it was this incarnation that led the council for a while, but even that Doctor was eventually replaced."

A jaunty grin spread across his face, as the body grew more svelte, but playful. He reached up, hanging an umbrella with the motif of a question mark over his wrist. "We had some intriguing adventures with the Doctor in this incarnation. It was the first time that he came to realise how alive I was; and it was the first time that I touched him deeper than ever before. Betrayal was this one's downfall, as a snake took him from us before his tasks were done."

Now a foppish young man formed, his tall, slender body capped by a long mop of curls, light brown in colour. "I kept the Master from your world with this incarnation. I soon came to realise who I was and what our shared destiny was. Together we fought in the time war" he paused, his tone growing introspective and lost. "We watched as, one by one, our people were killed. We fought, but every death I felt was another of my kind destroyed. We are the last of our people, the Doctor and I. But this incarnation was the price he paid to seal away the Daleks forever in the Void, finishing the time war and closing all of the pan dimensional bridges."

He looked up, dark eyes haunted as the figure of the Ninth Doctor emerged again. "I was only growing used to this body as we met you. This man, haunted by deeds and the knowledge that he was the last. But even this one is gone now."

Jack had stayed silent through all of this, listening until the last moment, his eyes widened. "This Doctor is dead?" he queried, feeling anew the pain of grief in his heart. "But he... was so alive when I left the two of them."

Then he frowned, as he remembered the earlier words. 'Rose is gone.' A small sob escaped him, as he knew that Rose had been Human. "You said Rose was gone? How did she... how did they die?"

The Doctor looked up and his eyes still showed the deep-seated pain that darkened his eyes. "When the Daleks attacked us at the Game-Station, when you died, Rose came and gazed upon me. She gave me a form with which I could interact. A form that I could use directly. Together, we willed the Daleks gone. And I, knowing that we could not live without you, found that spark of your soul and fanned it back to life. I could not give you your old body back, it was gone. But I was able to create a new one. One that would endure long enough for you to find us again.

"My Doctor, knowing that my presence in Rose would kill her, took me into his body. But even though I had not intended it to be thus, my own power forced him to regenerate again."

The form of the Doctor shrank again, his leather jacket turning into a brown suit jacket, with a faint pinstripe. He grinned thoughtfully and then raised bright eyes to Jack. "This is my Doctor now. You will know him when you see him next."

"But what about Rose? How did she die?"

"She is gone, Jack… but not dead."

He frowned, confused again. "Where has she gone? Why can't the Doctor bring her back?"

The Doctor smiled a little, then his expression turned serious. "Well, the way that this universe works is quite straight forward, really. Y'see, there's loads and LOADS of different dimensions. Each dimension is a little removed from this one. Each one is a teeny, weenie bit different. But when the Gallifreyans were around, they let people with the knowledge travel between these dimensions. They guarded them carefully, but in the end it was sealing those dimensions off that ended the time war.

"Well, we found a breach that was left behind Jack. We travelled across to a parallel dimension, where Cybermen were as real as you remember them. They had only just been born and the journey there nearly killed me."

Suddenly, thrown up on the light like a shadow play, Jack watched as the Doctor and Mickey searched the blackened, dead TARDIS for any sign of life. Eventually, the Doctor stood with a triumphant grin, holding a faintly glowing green crystal aloft.

The Doctor that was giving Jack his tour shuddered in memory of the intimate touch. It had lain in his pocket for nearly two days after that. So close to him, so tantalisingly close. But with no way of touching him it had felt like a punishment worse than death.

Again, he shivered and then continued "Mickey stayed behind, but Rose and my Doctor returned here." The phantom images changed again, showing the invasion of Daleks and Cybermen that had occurred just before Rose was trapped.

"I'm burning up a sun, just to say goodbye." he murmured, while Jack watched on and wept in silence.

"I... Love you." Rose whispered as she wept openly.

"Quite right too." smiled the Doctor sadly. "And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler... I love you..." But Rose hadn't heard the last words since the sun the TARDIS had been orbiting had burned its last.

Jack turned away, crumpling to the floor and sobbing loudly. "I can't take it any more. All this pain and I'm still left with an empty heart. Why are you showing me all this?" he demanded, jerking his gaze up to the luminous being.

"We are coming for you, Jack. But you need to have said goodbye to the others, those who love you, before we come. We shall not stay long. This will be your only chance to join us again."

"They don't need me any more. Why don't you just take me now?"

"Your body needs to recharge, Jack." In his mind's eye he saw the crystal that the Doctor had carried with him while he faced the Cybermen. The crystal that had been the power source of the TARDIS and Jack finally understood. The TARDIS couldn't make him a body that was just flesh and blood, because it was not flesh and blood. The TARDIS had given him a body that resembled a human, but was a part of itself.

The tears slowly stopped as Jack looked up at the figure. Jack Harkness looked back, dark eyes reflecting the light even more. "You understand now?" it asked, and Jack mutely nodded. "Good."

Jack barely registered as the images around him changed. First showing Gwen once more as she tended him. Then Ianto, sitting in Jack's office and clutching the heavy, air force duffel coat to him and trying to hold back the tears.

Owen hove into view as he stared at the pistol that sat on the table. There were three bullets left, but it would take only one... but that would not atone for what he had done. He'd killed Jack and it was only the opening of the Rift that had brought the man back to life. And now he had sacrificed himself, Jack had died and Owen hadn't been able to apologise.

Toshikho pushed the remnants of her dinner around her plate, thoughts on sad moments, missing comrades. The last year had brought mayhem, but she had learned so much about herself as the time had passed that she only now realised that she loved Jack, too.

Jack Harkness, formerly an Agent of Time, gazed down at Gwen as she leant over to kiss his forehead before departing for home.

As her warm lips touched his skin, Jack looked up in alarm. The dazzling figure was fading now, vanishing and indistinct. "I..." But now he felt his body as a tether to reality once more.

"Thank you..." he whispered.

Gwen, hearing his voice, stopped in her tracks, then turned back to him. He was alive and awake!

Jack, in the quiet of his mind, heard the voice of the Heart of the TARDIS. "I love you, Jack. You will be home soon."

And then the questions started, just as the answers began to fade.