She had to admit shooting at Steve might have been petty and this hurt puppy face he gave her would probably bring the guilt later on but for now….for it felt good. She needed that. She did not expect to see this today. Nor did she expect it to affect her that much. She had deluded herself into thinking that she could control her emotions. But some things can shatter any semblance of control

Noticing a flash of blonde hair and shapely legs going into the storage closet she followed with a grim expression. Closing the door behind her she turned to face the smirking woman

" Major Carter" she said saluted in a borderline mocking way" how can be of assistance in this lovely afternoon?"

"What the hell are you doing Lorraine" growled Peggy "What was that?"

"What? I am just giving some appreciation to our amazing hero" answered Lorraine with a sarcastic voice that turned bitter

"Lorraine"….sighed Peggy " I don't know how many times I have to apologies…."

"Apology?" hissed Lorraine" You think an apology is enough?

" I…."

" Two years Peggy. Two years of loving you. Two years of sharing everything and you just threw it all away to go chasing after a science experiment. Did you even care about me at all? Or was I just a fun way to pass the time" said Lorraine with barely restrained anger

Neither of them expected the slap

"How can you say that ?! I loved you Lorraine. I wanted to be with you but the war is more important then either of our happiness. I had to my duty…"

"And I am not? Serving as a lowly secretary is not glamorous enough is it?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

They both stared at each other anger and frustration all over their face and then Lorrain's face crumpled in anguish. Peggy's heart constricted at this sight and guilt flooded every part of her body

"I was never enough was I….." whispered Lorraine

"Lorraine you…"

" Does he make you happy? Does this life make you happy?' interrupted her Lorraine

Peggy looked away not daring to meet those hypnotic eyes. Not daring to face the pain in them

" Yes" it was funny how such a small word was so hard to say. How such a confession could hurt so much.

She did not expect the kiss. It was tender and it reminded her of that first kiss they shared over a bottle of brandy so long ago

" I am sorry I was such a bitch" said Lorraine with a sad smile" I thought I was over it but when I saw you with him….it reopened all the old wounds"

"Lorraine I …." she felt Lorraine finger on her lips and she prevented her from speaking again. Gently stroking her cheek Lorraine continued

" The very first time I saw you I knew you were destined for great my Peggy. It hurts knowing I can't be part of this but I….happy to see you following your dreams. You will be a star. One that will outshine all of them"

And then Lorraine left unshed tears still glistening in her eyes. Peggy sat on a pile of boxes. She didn't think her legs could hold her up at the moment. When Lorraine broke up with her two years ago furious at the fact that Peggy accepted the Erskine assignment without consulting her she thought that this was it. A clean break. Once she would get over soon enough. It was only at this moment that she had realized how many things had been left unsaid, how many issued not dealt with. She didn't know how much she needed this conversation to finally move forward

And this marked the last time she would see Lorraine until one fateful shopping trip with Angie three years later.

A friend of mine asked for this as an early birthday present. I am afraid I wrote it in just 15 minutes so it's not very good but I hope you enjoy it. It's based on this headcannon from tumblr post/119340390470/lets-talk-about-peggy-carter-and-private-lorraine