General Author's Note:
For many years I wrote at Ksite. It took over my life at some point. Since then, I've decided to write my own stuff (I am currently writing a book). However, I have a love for Clark and Lois that will never go away. I posted some of my old work here, but not all of it. This is my attempt to do so.
Please know that all of this work was written years ago.
Feel free to comment and follow me on twitter my username is "RebecaValdez"
Enjoy!
Title: I Understand
Author: RebecaV, RebecaValdez (Ksite)
Time Frame: Season 8 "Infamous"
Summary: What if Lois would have gone back in time with Clark?
Author's Note: The bolded lines are taken from Legend of the Seeker.
I didn't mean to do it, I swear. It was a mistake. Well, not really a mistake because part of me doesn't regret it. I know he will.
I did it on instinct. I couldn't let him go back without knowing the truth. So, I went back with him.
But one thing I did not expect was to end up back on the airplane. Just how far back did we go? It didn't matter I would see him in a couple of hours…
He was there. He picked me up from the airport. Why was he there this time? He had forgotten to pick me up before. So, why pick me up now?
I had to act like I didn't know anything. As if I didn't know his secret.
"Clark?" I asked. I couldn't believe I was actually looking at him right now. I wasn't suppose to see him for a couple of hours. I realized what he was doing. He was trying to do things right and to keep the newly coming home Lois happy.
I was so happy to see him there. I hugged him. He hugged me back and rocked me softly in his arms. I wanted to stay here forever and never change, but I knew we couldn't.
Is he smelling my hair, I asked myself when I felt his nose against me. "Welcome back,
Lois," he said softly in my ear.
Home. I was finally home in his arms. "I missed you," I said.
When I saw the confused look on his face, I realized I shouldn't have said that. I was acting like a girl who just lost her alien best friend instead of a girl who had just been away for a couple of weeks. "I didn't have anyone to make fun of in Star City," I tried correcting myself. Hopefully that would work.
It did. The confused face was replaced by a smile and a laugh. "I really missed someone to make fun of me," he said. He gave me an other hug. "It's really nice to have you back. I was lonely without you."
I had to act like the Lois Lane that was barely coming back home. The Lois Lane that was still upset with Clark for everything he had done after Chloe's wedding. I was suppose to act like the girl who was mad at him when she was away.
"I'm sure Lana kept you company," I said sounding cold.
I saw the hurt look on his face. I wanted to say sorry so badly, but I had to stick to
my plan. My plan to not let him know everything. The fact that I snuck back in time with him. The fact that I know he is an alien from an other planet. The fact that the past couple of weeks I have been having feelings for him that I shouldn't be having.
"I missed the girl that makes me smile. I missed you," he said.
I wanted to hug him and never let him go. I wanted to tell him that I was here and that I understand. That I was here to stay no matter what.
"Well, thanks, Smallville, but really? The girl that makes you smile? You're such a dork," I said. My voice sounded a little unclear.
"You think I'm lying?" Clark asked.
"Look, Smallville, I have to get to work. I'll see you later." With that, I walked away
trying to hold the tears in my eyes.
I entered the Daily Planet and quickly changed into some dry clothes. I know I'll get sick, but I had work to do.
I have to figure out a way to warn Clark about Davis without knowing it was me. I created a fake email address and sent Clark a message.
"Dear Kal-El,
I am a friend. Do not be scared. I am here to warn you about something. Davis Bloome is not who you think he is. He is the son of Zod and Faora. Be careful.
A friend."
I was not a professional at writing letters to my alien best friend in disguise.
A couple of minutes pasted after sending Clark the email, I looked over at him and saw
him frozen at his desk. What was he in shock about? The fact that someone knows he's Kal-El or the fact that Davis is the son of his Kryptonian enemy.
He got up from his seat and began walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked pretending to be my old nosy self.
"I have to talk to Chloe. I'll be back later," he said and left. Of course he was going to talk to Chloe. Who else would he go to?
It was hours later until I finally saw Clark again, but I was surprised by what was going on.
He barged into my apartment and looked upset.
"What the hell, Clark!" I exclaimed. I was acting as if I was mad that he stormed into my apartment, but in truth, I was worried. Why was he upset?
"You followed me, didn't you?" Clark asked.
"Followed you where?" I pretended not to know.
"Don't play with me, Lois," he said in a firm voice.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Smallville."
Smallville? I thought you said my new nickname was Krypton?" he asked.
I was screwed. He knew and there was no use in lying to him. "How did you find out?" I asked.
"Chloe's good with computers. It didn't take her long to figure out where the email was sent from," he said.
I think deep down I knew he was going to find out. I mean, Chloe really is a computer freak. "I didn't do it on purpose, Clark. I just couldn't let you go back without knowing
everything," I said.
"Did you do all this just to tell me about Davis?" Clark asked me.
"If something would have happened to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself," I said.
"You wouldn't have remembered anything," Clark said.
"That's still something horrible. Having your best friend's death on your hands. Who would want to like with that?" I asked.
"Best friend?"
Crap! Why did I have to say that? "Come on, Clark. I think we've moved past the 'just friends' stage of our relationship." Wow, that came out wrong!
I was staring blankly into his eyes and expecting to see an awkward smile on his face, but I didn't. He gave me his famous Clark Kent smile. "You're amazing," he said.
"You help people from bus crashes and save lives on a daily basis and you're calling me amazing?"
"The way you reacted to my secret, it shocked me. I was expecting you to be mad at me for keeping it from you. Throw something at me, but you didn't," he said.
"I knew it wouldn't hurt you," I teased.
"You know what I mean."
"There was no reason for me to be mad at you. You were just trying to protect me," I said. I had been sitting on the couch during this entire conversation. But I got up and was now face to face, well his neck, with Clark. "I understand if you want to go back again. I'll understand if you don't want me to know," I said.
I couldn't tell what Clark was thinking. For a second he looked upset. Then he looked worried. And then happy? Honestly, there was no way I could really tell.
There was about a whole minute of silence before he finally spoke again. "Does it make me selfish if I want you to know?" he asked.
I laughed. "You're more selfless person I know, Clark."
"I don't want to put your life in danger. Chloe, Lana, Pete and my parents have given up so much knowing my secret. I don't want to do that to you," he said.
"Clark, have you ever thought that maybe you're worth it. You're worth It all," I said.
"Lois, I don't think you understand."
"No, Smallville. I do understand. I understand how I use to see you. You were the
dorky farm boy who always ran off. The guy that broke hearts for no reason. I don't want to see you like that anymore. I don't want to lose this hero version of you. It's the man you really are. If I'm going to forget it, then I want it to be your choice, but before you do, I want you to know that I am willing. I can deal with it."
"Why did I ever keep this from you?"
"How did I not see this before?"
"Lois, can I talk to you?" Clark asked.
"Isn't that what we're doing?" I asked.
"I meant real talk," he said.
"Ok…" I didn't quite follow him.
He grabbed my arm and guided me to the couch. For a second, he looked nervous. What was going on in the mind of Clark Kent?
"Lois, I want to apologize."
"For what?" I asked. He hadn't done anything wrong that I could think of.
"For the way I acted at Chloe's wedding," he said.
Oh that. "Which is?" I asked. I wanted to hear him say it.
"The kiss, Lois. We almost kissed and I walked away," he said almost in a whisper.
I didn't expect him to really say it. "Clark, we can forget all about what didn't happen.
It's not like I came home expecting for us to get together," I said. It was a lie. That all I could think about when I was away, but of course I knew it wouldn't happen. It'll never happen.
"Oh,' he said. I didn't know if it was just me, but he sounded kind of sad.
"You didn't either, did you?" I asked. My voice sounded soft and quiet.
He stayed quiet and just looked at me. He put his hand on my knee. "I don't know what I've been feeling, but I don't want to deny it anymore," he said.
"Feeling?" I asked.
"It's there. Well, at least for me. I understand if you don't feel the same way ab-," he said, but I shut him up the only way I could think of.
I leaned into him and captured his lips with mine. It's something I've always wanted to do, but I guess didn't want to admit it until recently.
"Lois," Clark said pulling away.
"Shut up and kiss me, Smallville," I demanded and I kissed him once again. I never
wanted to stop.
He pulled away again and this time held my shoulders so that there was distance between us. "Lois, we need to talk about this. We just can't jump into a relationship
like this," he said.
I wanted to laugh inside. "Clark, we've been friends for almost five years. I don't think
we're rushing into anything."
"I didn't mean it like that. There's just some things I want to tell you first," he said.
"I already know you're from an other planet. What can be more important than that?"
I asked.
"Us." The way he said it sounded so sure. As if he has been saying it for years. "The truth about everything." I sat back and listened to everything he was telling me. "The
truth is that I love you."
"You love me?" I asked.
He smiled at me. "When I first met you, I thought you were the most annoying person alive. I couldn't wait to get you out of my life. At times I even wanted to choke you,"
Clark said.
"That was a shared feeling," I said.
He laughed. Gosh, that laugh. It could make any girl go weak in the knees. Luckily he would be there to catch me.
"But as I got to know you, you grew on me. This past month that you weren't around,
I missed you a lot," he said.
There was something I just had to ask him. Something that had been bugging me since the day I left him standing in the hospital. "Can I ask you something?"
"You already know just about everything, but go for it."
"Did you and Lana….?" I couldn't finish my question. I hadn't realized that the thought
of him and Lana together had hurt me so much.
"Lois, I can't lie to you. When Lana came back, we did try to start a relationship again, but something happen and now she's gone," he said.
It was killing me. "What happen? Why is she gone?" I asked.
"The meteor rocks; the green ones. They are my only weakness. They can kill me," he said.
"Is that why you fell down in the barn?" I asked.
"Yeah, the pain when I'm near them is unbearable," he said.
"What does that have to do with Lana?" I asked trying to get back on subject.
"I should have suspected it. Lana was always one for power. Trying to save the world. She put on that suit and then I couldn't be around her," he said.
I didn't quite get what he was saying, but I knew that one day he would explain it to me.
"So, if Lana was still here and you could be near her, would you?" I asked.
His mind looked blank. I hated not knowing what was going on in his head. He got up from the couch and walked towards the wall and leaned on it. "That's a hard question, Lois. I never know what would have happened if Lana would have stayed. She may have over powered me. Tried to kill me. There is no telling, but I do know that I'm glad she is," he said.
"How could you be happy that the girl you love is gone?" I asked.
"She wasn't the girl I love anymore. I'll admit, it was nice seeing Lana with powers. It
was good knowing she was doing something good in the world, but these powers. They change you. It takes time to get use to. I don't think she was ready to have a relationship and be a hero. I don't think anyone is," he said.
"What are you saying, Clark?"
"That I'm going back. You can never know about me. It's too dangerous," he said.
"One minute ago, you were telling me that you wanted me to know and now you're changing your mind?" I asked.
"I wish with everything in me, that I could tell you, but I can't," he said.
"The world needs you more. Now I get what Lana meant in that video. It's ok, Clark. I understand. Go. Go back in time," I said.
"See, that's the problem. I can't. I destroyed the ring," he said.
"You what?" I asked.
"You're stuck knowing, Lois. There's nothing I can do about it," Clark said.
I knew that the words I was about to say where going to hurt him just as they would hurt me, but they needed to be said. "Clark, your mission is far more important than any feelings we may have. That's why we can never act on them. We can never let our guard down. We have to bury them."
"Lois, Don't do this," Clark begged me.
"It needs to be done. Like you said, Clark, you can't be a hero and be in love. You have to save the world. That's what's most important. I understand that."
Clark stayed quiet, but after a couple of moments he just nodded his head. "Can you
do something for me?" he asked.
"Anything," I said.
"Just one last kiss."
I smiled through my tears. I leaned in to begin the most passionate kiss in my life. I
knew it was a goodbye kiss. I knew that we would probably never get a chance to do
this again so I held on to his lips with everything I had. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist pushing us closer together.
This can't end, I told myself. But I knew the longer we held on to this moment, the more it was going to hurt in the future.
I was the one who pulled away. What I was about to say was going to help both of us. Well, ok maybe not, but it's the best I can do. He stepped away from me and I gave him a confusing look. "What am I doing here?" I asked.
"Lois?" he asked.
"The last thing I remember is being on the plane back to Metropolis. What am I doing here in my apartment?" I asked.
I hated seeing the confused look on his face, but I was happy when he finally realized what was supposedly going on. "You hurt your head on the flight. You must have blacked out," he said.
That was the best he could do? "Oh," I said.
"Are feeling ok?" he asked.
I nodded. "Did you bring me home?" I asked.
"Yeah, brought you right home after I picked you up from the airport," he said. I faked a confused look. "You don't remember anything about the last couple of hours, do you?"
"The last time I remember seeing you was at the hospital, Smallville. What's happened the past couple of hours?" I asked.
He smiled at me. "Nothing for the front page," he said.
"Oh ok…"
"I'll see you at work tomorrow, Lois," he said. He walked towards the door and then turned back. "It's good to have you back." He smiled at me and then left.
I waited until he was far enough before I let the tears come out. It hit me what I had done. I had lied to the man I love. He really could never know that I know his secret. I can't stop him from living his destiny. He has a mission and he needs to fulfill it. I'm strong enough to understand that.
Careful what you wish for love
The End