"4:47am" the clock read. This was Booths favorite time of the day. Often his body would wake him at this time and he would turn to see Bones next to him. His Bones. Wow, it took a long time for him to be able to say that, but he would not give up any part of their journey together. Though it had been a long and very bumpy road, each bump brought them closer together physically and emotionally. Though he knew there would be many more bumps he knew none would be as big as the bump that contained Broadsky. He hated that man, a small part of him wished he would have killed him when he had the chance, but knew he had made the right decision to let him rot in jail for the rest of his life. He had killed 6 people, the last being a squintern at the Jeffersonian, Vincent Nigel-Murray, the bullet that was meant for him, the death he had caused and would have to live with.
Both he and Bones had only been a few feet from that shot… he still shivered at the thought of how close he came to losing her that day. He was afraid Broadsky would attack Bones out of revenge for missing him so he had made Bones sleep at his apartment that night. The night where things finally began to move forward after being at a standstill for so long, since the day they told Sweets how they had met and Booth had put his heart on the line only to have in crushed by Bones' fear. Then there was Hannah, whom he didn't regret, he had loved her, as he could love anyone who wasn't Bones, but she was right to have turned down his proposal and though he went to a dark place for a little while he came back intact.
He still remembered that night so clearly. Bones and he went to his apartment in tense silence. Neither of them knowing what to say. Booth knew it was going to be an awkward night, but he would sleep much better having her close then if she went home alone. Booth was the first one to speak, but not until they were in his apartment.
"Keep the blinds closed, and stay away from the windows, just to be safe." He commanded.
"I know." Bones replied softly, afraid of saying anything else. She had never seen Booth this way but understood his head was full of a million thoughts, as hers was.
"Let me sleep on the couch Bones, you take the bed." He said this softer, trying to ease the situation.
"No, I will be fine on the couch, I'm smaller then you anyway." Bones knew she would lose it if she laid in his bed. Where he slept every night. Where he had slept with Hannah….
"If you're sure. Is this sweatshirt going to be ok to sleep in?" Booth said handing her an old Rangers sweatshirt that was quite large.
"Yes, thank you." Bones knew she sounded overly polite but she couldn't help it. She needed him to go to his room so she could be alone. She had been alone for years and had learned to handle things best when she didn't depend on anyone. This was the exact behavior that had caused her broken heart in the first place, afraid to depend on someone else, to depend on Booth. She trusted him with her life in the field but couldn't trust him with her heart…. This was something she hated about herself and was one of her biggest regrets.
"Goodnight Booth."
"Goodnight Bones." Booth responded before taking one last look at her and gently closing the door. He pressed his forehead to the cold wood of the door for a second, knowing this was going to be a long night. On one side he was glad Bones was safe on the other side of the door, but on the other hand there were only a few inches of wood and drywall separating them. Booth pulled off his tie and watch and threw them in the direction of the dresser, not caring where they ended up. He pulled off his suit and stripped socks and threw them towards his closet. He had much more important things to worry about at the moment then laundry. He pulled on some old sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt and climbed into bed. He tossed and turned for a second then just stared at the ceiling thinking about what he was going to do about Broadsky and listening for any movement in the night.
The next thing he knew he heard a creak of the floor board and the gently opening of his bedroom door. He grabbed his gun and looked through the dark to see the intruder. The outline of a familiar body was lit up by the night light he kept in the hallway.
"Bones! What's wrong? Did you hear something?" He was in combat mode until he saw the look on her face. He put the gun back on the nightstand and held out his hand towards Bones "Come here."
"No, I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to wake you up. I'm sorry." She didn't move and tears started falling down her cheeks.
"Bones, come here" He knew because of the tears she wouldn't protest again and she walked slowly and without a sound towards him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her and letting her sob into his chest. He rubbed his hand over her back trying to sooth her.
She kept repeating "Why?" over and over, sobbing. Eventually her sobs lessoned and she pulled back from his chest. "He kept saying 'don't make me go, don't make me leave'."
"What?" Booth gave her a puzzled look
"Vincent, he kept saying 'don't make me leave.' Why did he think I was the one making him leave? What kind of person am I? Am I really that horrible he thought I was making him leave?" The tears continued falling
"No Bones. He wasn't talking to you, he was talking to God."
"No Booth, Vincent was like me."
"Ok, he was talking to the universe then. He wasn't ready to die, he wanted to stay."
"If there was a God he would have let Vincent stay here with us."
"That's now how it works." As much as Booth wished it did and he could offer her the comfort of his faith he knew now, the only thing he could give her was himself. Booth kept his arms wrapped around Bones and laid back down on the bed pulling her on top of his chest and kissed the top of her head, letting her drain her tears until there were no more.
When she was done the room was still. They both took quiet breaths and neither moved for fear it would break their connection. They had been comforted by each other's presence so many times in the past but never like this.
Bones, embarrassed for the way she had broken down, apologizes "I'm sorry." Bones breathed the words out.
"For what?" Booth said, afraid she was going to apologize for finally trusting him with her heart.
"For everything. For not gambling when you asked me to. For avoiding you, for repeatedly hurting you. For not being able to give you what you wanted until it was too late." Bones knew before she had walked into his room everything was going to change, but she wasn't sure which way the scale was going to tip. All she did know was that sleeping was impossible and all she wanted was to be in Booth's arms. No matter what it cost her.
"Don't be sorry." Booth kissed the top of her head and continued rubbing her back in a rhythmic motion. "No matter what happened before, we are here now. You let me in; now just don't kick me out."
"It's not that I want to, it has just been a habit for so long. I love you, I know that, but I don't know how to be loved…."
"I will show you, trust me, believe in us."
"I do."
Finally, after so many years of being partners and friends they became lovers. They made love to each other in the light of the alarm clock that flashed "4:47am"
Booth rolled over and wrapped his arm around Bone's and pulled her into his body. He loved feeling her against him, knowing she was there and not going to leave again, they would never have to be separated again. They could continue to be partners in the field and work cases together. Booth was content to live in sin until he could trick Bones into proposing to him. He knew she would crack eventually.
Booth smiled to himself, kissed Bones' head and went back to sleep.
