Disclaimer-It's all JK Rowlings.

Completely Unexpected Secret Admirer

Chapter 1- Stalkerish Letters

I was eating breakfast, toast, when the mail came. I had several letters from my parents, but one from an unfamiliar owl. It's probably a school owl, I thought. Curious to who might send me an unmarked letter, I ripped it open. Before lowering my gaze to the paper, I noticed Hogwart's resident Scottish hottie, Oliver Wood, and my crazy Quidditch Captain, was staring at me. I was confused to why he was looking at me, until I logically deduced that I probably had crumbs on my chin. I reached for my napkin and wiped around my mouth before reading the letter.

Dear Katie,

I stare at you every day. That may sound weird, but I am not alone. Many other boys have glued their eyes to you too. While I agree you are the most beautiful girl in Hogwarts, I do not like you just for that reason. You are an excellent chaser, and I watch you when you are not looking. You have a wonderfully nice, kind personality. This letter may sound very stalkerish, but trust me, I am not a stalker. I enjoy lady fingers, and I am man enough to admit it. (AN-Lady Fingers are some sort of pastry, that look like, well, Lady fingers)

-Your Secret Admirer

The Weasley Twins were across the table giggling about something.

"What are you two giggling about?" I said crossly. I was PMS-ing and anything or anyone that looked like it was having fun and not feeling like total crap was chewed out by yours truly.

It didn't help matters that I had gotten a note from a Secret Admirer.

I mean, honestly? Who would like me? I was average in height with dirty blonde hair. Granted, I actually had boobs (compared to the very flat-chested and anorexic Pansy Parkinson. On the subject of Pansy, her parents must really hate her to name her something horrid and something she definitely did not resemble) and I inherited my mother's killer legs and stormy blue eyes. Oliver literally murdered us with all his Quidditch practices, so I suspect my arse was in fine shape also.

So I guess I didn't get the short end of the stick.

But I haven't had a boyfriend in a year, after Oliver had beat up Roger Davies asking me out.

Oliver was crazy.

He said that it was unacceptable that I was ah, fraternizing with the enemy.

But I digress. Back to Fred and George's ability to never have children again.

"I see she got it," said George.

"Got what? You guys aren't referring to my period are you? Because if you are, I will remove and suffocate your manly parts with Professor Dumbledore's long white beard and make you watch."

They cowered behing Ange and Licia as I smiled beatifically at them. God, I loved mornings.

I walked to Potions, and all of a sudden Oliver ran up to me.

I ignored him because he needed tough love. I mean, girls and those special guys everywhere (except for me, Licia, and Ange) slobbered over him so much he practically had to wipe their drool off with one of those ShamWows.

I watch too much muggle TV, don't sue. Wait, nobody here knows what sue means.

Back to Oliver. He was running up to me, and said, "Katie Bell." Wanting to tease him, I put my hand near my ear and said, "Whatcha say, Captain?"

"KATIE BELL!" he screamed.

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my giggles. All around me were girls giving me murderous looks for having Oliver Wood screaming my name.

Well, it wasn't in a bedroom but-Eww! Bad mental images! Bad Katie! Stop thinking dirty thoughts!

I was thinking all of that in about 3 seconds, and my face went from smiley to this totally grossed out face. Yeah, I was at that point in my mind.

Oliver seemed confused by my sudden change in expression, but he pressed on and declared, "Quidditch practice tonight at 7. Be there or you will be punished."

Now, Oliver never specified the punishment, but we were all scared of our psycho captain.

Aha! Now I know why the psych wards in prison are always popular, they were preparing themselves for Oliver, the crazy Quidditch nutter he was.

I nodded in agreement, even though it went in one ear and out the other.

After putting his "I'm a scary Quidditch captain, don't fuck with me" expression for his little rant, he looked a little ashamed. I was surprised that THE Oliver Wood, the macho nacho, was nervous.

I was even more surprised at what he said next: "Can I walk you to Potions?"

AN- I'm sorry this is so short! I kind of have to think of the plot, and since this is my first story, it will likely be in 5-10 chapters. However, I will be sticking to Oneshots for a time. Please Review, It would make my day, and I'll get the next part up soon! I just wanted to know if you wanted it to be a M rating or more of a T. I write better in M, however, because I include humorous cussing. Just a heads up. Maybe I could use some pointers ? REVIEW!