DISCLAIMER! I DON`T OWN HARRY POTTER! I WRITE THE SIRIUS, DAPHNE, AND LILY. My FRIEND DARA WRITES THE PETER AND JAMES AND HIS FAMILY , MY FRIEND ELOISE WRITES THE MOONY!
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Oh mighty Padfoot, breaker of hearts,
Moonsy wants to know if he can write you? Anyway, Prongsiepie has an all powerful headache. I think my glasses need to be stronger. Woe is me, having to hide my beautiful face behind these glasses. At least we all know this face is beautiful. Absolutely adorable. Could make butter melt. You get the drift.
Baaaaasically I'm freaking hot. And, you know, the girls, when they look like they're following you, it's actually me. Even some of the boys. That's how hot I am.
Anyways, oh not as attractive as I Pads, how are you? Been a while, no? How are you, and your various summer romances? No doubt they all follow you like lambs. You are cruel.
Hurry up and reply. I hang on your every word.
Prongsiepie.
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Dear Prongs,
How are you? It`s been so long, seems only yesterday Summer Hols began...oh wait, it was yesterday.
As to how I`ve been...SAVE ME SAVE ME SAVE ME! My dear old Mum is driving me crazy.
Tell Moony he`s being a right fluffy git for not writing me yet. Humph...fluffy bastard.
I know what you're thinking James; I promise not to let the cat next door get to me, I`ll get her.
Yes the flings are clingy, I admit. But it makes them happy and who am I to take that away from them?
No wonder Evans dissed you, with all the guys following you, she must think you`re gay, my rumor had nothing to do with it. No sirree, not me.
I must tend to my lambs.
When are you coming to save me from this hell-hole?
The ever handsome/dashing/brilliant-Sensei of footly bits,
Padfoot
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Oh Padsie!
It was now a week ago since the holidays began, as my owl decided to keep your letter. Bitch.
This letter may have bolognaise sauce on it, because I may be writing this as I eat. Delicious. I do love my mummy's cooking. As for saving, I am to come save you in three days. Count them. Three. I know you've been pining away for me. But have no fear, Prongs is on his way. On a train. How exciting!
That was my dad's idea but whatever. You get to come on a train back. This shall be fun.
The cat is back? Dear Jesus, I thought it died?
Oh clingy flings. How you adore them. How many, seven? That was your record, right? Not for me. Nope.
Speaking of the beautiful Lily, she sent me a letter! It smells like her!
(I do not smell her. That would be odd.)
You started a rumor? How freaking rude. I may have to set...someone on you. Some easily manipulated first years. The bloody cheek.
I'm going to get you a shepherd's costume so you may tend to your lambs. Role-play and the like.
Excuse me; I believe it is I who is handsome and dashing!
Prrrrooooonnnnggggsssssssss.
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My delusional Prongs,
I am „the hot one"here if you please.
And the first years like me better. Got any Ideas who could be head boy, it couldn´t be one of us, I heard Evans is one, though. She sent YOU a LETTER! Holy shit was it a howler, I bet it was for the past few months worth of you fav pastimes; stalking Lily, bugging Lily, staring at Lily and asking Lily out only to be rejected. Again. And again. And again. Maybe YOU need a fling. My record has been beaten; as I now have ten lambs. 2 American, 4 Mexican and 4 French. Ooh la la indeed.
Hurry up, I`m dying here!
Got to go Ivy's calling, or is it Jeanette?
The Shepherd,
Padfoot
P.S. Now, the cat is gone, I might or might not have sent it to Brazil. Ahem….
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Delusional?
If you get to be the hot one, can I be the devilishly charming one?
They do not. If they do, I sense bribery.
Maybe Moons? I sense him as head boy. It seems most likely.
YES SHE SENT ME A LETTER. No, it was not a howler. It was a perfectly normal sensible letter asking how I was in response to my letter I will have you know.
I do not sta-
Okay, yes I do do every one of those things on that list. And you know she loves it. She probably goes and sighs about it to all her girly friends who in turn sigh over it and possibly you and most definitely Moons. Does he realize he has fans?
Probably not.
I do not need a fling. I have all my urges under control.
Ten? How did you manage that? And a Mexican? Much less four?
….How?
Perhaps it is actually your mother. Wouldn't that be interesting?
Brazil is uncreative,
Prooooongs.
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The Charming Prongs,
Well aren`t we humble? Cough…NOT….cough.
I should have known you sent her a letter first. All those girls sigh about me. And you all know it, hell I`ve had half the house as flings. Moony is completely oblivious to the female species. Maybe we should introduce him (grins evilly). It was the Mexicans calling, identical quadruplets. Beat that.
SAVE ME, GET OF YOUR LAZY BUM AND SAVE ME!
The ULTIMATE shepherd,
Padfoot
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Shepherd Pads,
Of course I'm humble. Might want to see someone about that cough. And of course I sent her a letter! I always send her letters! Sometimes she doesn't reply but WHATEVER.
They occasionally sigh about you. But mostly it's Wormy they sigh about. Those gorgeous teeth, beaming eyes…Oh he's beautiful. Shit. Don't ever let him see this.
Yes, you've had half the house. BUT. Does that half include Lily? No. So, you know, you have not succeeded.
ACTUALLY, don't get any ideas, or I might have to castrate you with a rusty spoon.
Moony is oblivious to the female species. In fact, he does refer to them as the female species. Unhealthy. We should introduce him. Shame really, he is a lovely guy. Maybe we lock him in a room with a couple?
Identical Quadruplets. HOW THE HELL DO YOU MANAGE?
Pads, it's been a day since I sent you the letter saying we'll get you in three days. Be freaking patient. Go pick on Reggie or something.
-Prongs.
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Dear Prongs,
Reggie is off with the DEY (Death Eater Youth).
Unfortunately for you I will now personally remove all silverware; rusty of not, from your presence. I have my ways to get quadruplets. Evans is off-limits to me anyway, she`s a PREFECT. I`m part dog; one day is like a month… and I`m not a patient person.
How about we stick Moony in a classroom with Olga Bullstrode? (Snickers evilly).
Wormtail was just here actually and just happened to see your letter…. Poor bloke; you`ve traumatized him. Go snog Evans, I bet a galleon she`ll kill you,
-Padfoot
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Pads,
Shame. Figured it was only a matter of time. Can we turn him in yet?
But, Pads, however will I eat?
Damn straight she's off limits.
Well wait another day you smelly dog. Only one more day till I bust you outta there.
PFFFFT. Olga? I swear Petiepie has a crush on her. Ugly, but I guess she's a lovely person?
Oh dear. Erm, I apologize to Pete.
I would happily go snog Lily, but she is nowhere to be found. And she wouldn't kill me; it's been a year and a bit since she first called me a toerag, and she now speaks to me!
-Prongs
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Prongs,
I think you should ask her out, but do try not to sound so desparate this time, okay.
Ehm…this is a bit hard to say…I dumped the lambs….for another girl.
Her name is Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass. She is just my type; hot, smart, strong willed and
a Slytherin…..
Well now I`ll see you tomorrow then.
Cheers!
Pads
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PADS,
WE'LL COME BACK TO THE LILY THING.
WHAT THE FUDGE IS WRONG WITH YOU? A SLYTHERIN? OH NONONONONONO.
I'M LEAVING YOU THERE TO ROT NOW.
DISOWNED.
Prongs.
SBSBSBSB
Come on Prongs,
She´s really special, nothing like the others, the Mexicans left anyway (yes they left and did NOT cry, the cheek!) and I was bored. She´s just like me, I swear, you won`t have to see her either. Please Prongs save me, if you do I won´t be able to see her, if you don´t I`ll have no one else.
The hopeful,
Padfoot
P.S. Don`t tell Moony and Wormy, they'd have a cow...scratch that, they'd have the whole barn.
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Sirius,
I AM NOT MOST PLEASED. OH NONONONO.
I suppose I have to come save you. Twelve hours at the moment I am writing this letter.
No wonder they didn't cry. I wouldn't cry, someone who is socializing with a Slytherin. Bloody cheek.
IF they have a barn, I think that would BE RATHER FITTING. I AM NOT AMUSED. NO I AM NOT. NONONONONONO.
WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER SA-
WHAT WOULD YOUR FATHER-
WHAT WOULD MY MOTHER SAY?
-Prongs.
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James,
THAAAAAAAANK YOU!
Really though don`t tell them. I`ll tell them myself. Prongs, I hate to admit it but…I think I actually…. well…. you know….like her for HER.
I believe I know the look of shock on your face, I wish I could see it.
I don`t believe your Mum would care, she would want me to be happy and you know it.
Would you not love Evans if she was in Slytherin. Didn`t think so. As for my parents, I don´t think I´ll tell them. They would Avada me.
I`m counting the minutes.
I`ve never felt this way about someone before,
Padfoot the confused
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Pads.
YOUUUUUURRRR WELCOMEEEEE.
But, you know, who are you, and what the hell has happened to the Siripie I know and love.
Well, in a completely heterosexual way.
I DISBELIEVE YOU.
SHE...
WHAT WOULD MOONY SAY?
And that's different. Lily is…Lily is…
GAH LILY IS LILY AND GREENYASS OR WHATEVER IS GREENYASS.
Your parents would avada you if you dropped a spoon. So, you know, no change there.
-Prongs.
SBSBSBSB
Prongs,
Thank Merlin.
I`m fighting it I swear but …. I think she`s part veela!
That`s a very weak argument (her name is Greengrass) are you ill?
Moony doesn`t believe in the war against Slytherin, remember? Petey will probably ask me all about it. She`s friends with Lily by the way if Evans likes her then why don`t you?
I did drop a fork once, I only got crucio-, I was grounded.
See you in six hours,
Padfoot
P.S. Would you mind terribly if she was here when you came. Mind you, she`s bringing Evans!
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Pads.
I DOUBT IT. Nothing good ever comes out of Slytherin. So no way.
Greenyass, Greengrass, same difference. Why would I be ill?
Moons SAYS he doesn't believe. But maybe he is a secret believer! Pete WOULD ask, that's because he won't get any ever know?
I DOUBT IT AGAIN. Lily is good and pure and beautiful and Greenyass is most probably a snakey bastard!
I told you about the forks.
I'm probably on my way.
-Prongs.