Therapy…does it work?

Disclaimer: I was reading a fic, The Random Tale of Me and the Angel of Music and it was the funniest thing I ever read. So, I wanted to do a me-and-Jack my best friend-and-will Story :D

Sadly, I don't own PotC, but I loves it good.

Enjoy ya'll!

"I'm telling you!" I shouted at my therapist, who; at that point, was in the middle of proscribing new medication for me. "Jack Sparrow lives with me! He's my man!"

"Yes, of course he is." He said to me sarcastically. He didn't believe what I told him, he never did! He didn't believe me that time I told him Jack taught me how to fight with a sword when he first moved in; he didn't believe me! I'm not crazy! But of course…my mental history doesn't support that "Theory". "Now, tell the truth, are you getting enough attention at home?"

"Yes." I answered bluntly, keeping my arms around my Edward Sissorhands action figure. "Jack gives me plenty of 'attention'. I love him you see."

"Yes, yes you mentioned that- every…single...time you come here."

"I DON'T have a problem!"

"Of course you don't." Dr. Mohican rolled his eyes. "Of course not. The fact that you have 2 Johnny Depp love songs on your iPod, your Myspace is covered in Johnny, and you carry that Edward Sissorhands doll around with you wherever you go- is no indication of a problem."

"Action Figure." I corrected him with irritation. Why did he always make that mistake? There was a difference between an action figure, and a doll. Edward- he was an action figure- Lil' Rag doll for example- was a doll. Barbie-was a slut. She didn't really fall into either category.

"Action figure." He corrected himself. "Tell me, did you already go see the new pirates of the Caribbean movie?"

"Hell yeah!" I squeaked. "I went to see it the very first day it opened! It was sooooooooo hot!" Dr. Mohican shook his head and sprawled on his paper that I was losing my mind with every new Johnny Depp movie. It was then, that I begun to use my special talent. "He's coming out with a new movie in December you know! Sweeny Todd. He gets to sing!" I swooned. "I'm defiantly buying the soundtrack."

"Of course you are."

"And it's going on my iPod the very day I get it." I lifted my Edward doll to my eyes and gave it a tight squeeze. "I don't care that my boyfriend dumped me because I'm too obsessed with Johnny Depp. I love him so much!" (He really did! I wasn't lying! That jackass dumped me because 'if we were on a date, and Johnny Depp walked by, I would go: "OMG I'MA GONNA RAPE YOU!!!" and he'd be hall 'kewl.'" But it's true! I would go after him, screaming to rape him! -- it's still a stupid reason.) Dr. Mohican sighed.

"Listen, you have to give up this fantasy that you're living with Jack sparrow-"

"Captain!" I shouted at him, why didn't he call him Captain Jack Sparrow?

"Captain, Jack sparrow; you need to live like a normal teenager."

"Normal teenager?" I echoed. "You mean, You want me to shop at Limited Too, be nearly anorexic, be a cheerleader, and pretty much give it up to any guy who asks?" He paused, and shook his head.

"No-well-no"

"Then don't ask me to be normal. I am normal." He sighed again and looked at his clock, my time was up; and it looked like I had a new prescription to pour down the garbage disposal.

"SHEETS OF EGYPTIAN COTTON! NAH NAH NAH! SHEETS OF EGYPTIAN COTTON!" I got through my bedroom door to see my beloved Jack Sparrow trying to dance like Robyn had taught him to the song 'Sheets of Egyptian cotton'.

"Love! Yer back!" Jack cheered when he saw me toss my iPod onto my bed and kick my purple Emily the Strange sneakers off. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and gave me one good hug before going back to his odd dance. "I love this song!" I watched him dance crazily a moment, before dropping my backpack down on the floor and searching for my blasted biology book.

"Stupid Biology." I swore under my breath. "I hate it! I'm not going to be a biologist when I grow up! I'ma gonna be a writer! And anything I need to know about Biology, I can look up online." Jack stopped dancing while I was working on my Biology packet, and before I knew it, he was leaning over my back, almost looking as if he was humping me…

"3 dived by nine." He told me, causing me to turn my head around; and nearly get one of his beads in his braided beard in my eye.

"Biology, not algebra." I told him, turning on my back and hugging him. "Nice try though pumpkin pie!"

Grinning, he rolled off me and went strait for the cocktail peanuts I had sitting on my computer desk. He sat on my desk and shoved the peanuts in his mouth, with a wide grin on his face.

"Dr. Mohican thinks I'm crazy." I told him as I flipped through my text book in hopes of finding the answer.

"Crazy is as Crazy does." Jack said to me, stuffing his face with peanuts and taking his half-full can of Dr. Pepper. I'd gotten him addicted to the taste of soda pop, weither or not I meant to. He loved it, I loved him, and he also loved the peanuts!

So in answer to my first Question: Therapy…does it work?

Answer: No. No it doesn't.

Hi ppl! I'm sorry I started a new fic on ya'll, but I was dying to do this. See you in future chapters me mates! Also, Dr.Mohican is actually a therapist that keeps appearing in my stories! No matter where the story is set, there is always a Dr.Mohican if it calls for a therapist.