Hey guys! I hope you are enjoying the mini Imagines I've been posting! I find small bits of inspiration and am urged to write about it Please know that I am also working on my bigger story: Californian Summer so expect an update in the near future! Again, hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day! XOXO Dani
This is what I feared the entire summer: the end of it. Summer went by so fast; I could have sworn it just started. Every summer since I was two, my father and I vacation in Florida in a summer home near the ocean. And every year, it goes by too fast. Astonishment freezes my thoughts as I throw the rest of my clothes into a bag as we pack up to head back home. Most of my things are already packed and ready to be loaded in the kitchen; I simply want to stall the moment as much as possible, still not able to accept the inevitable. Once done packing the bag, and not finding any other excuses for staying in my temporary room, I carry my packed things in the main room. I can't help but fight tears as I realize I still have to say goodbye. Goodbye to the house, goodbye to the beautiful ocean view, goodbye to the perfect weather and, most tragically, goodbye to my neighbor and best friend, Carlos.
"Let me help you," Carlos sadly says, appearing at the front door. I don't know whether I should or shouldn't be happy that Carlos also dreads this day. I'm glad that he cares, I just don't want to see sorrow displayed across his face.
"Thanks," I say, handing over my bag as I stare at the ground. This goodbye would hurt the most. Carlos and I hung out every day of the summer, it didn't matter what was going on in either of our lives. I even helped him take care of his sick brother! Carlos was my best friend in Florida. I quickly wipe a stray tear from my eye as Carlos gently lays the bag in the car before making his way back.
"What a summer," Carlos comments, sticking his hands in his pockets unsure of how to go about the situation. A smile cracks my face as I realize how much he cares about me leaving and that this wretched emotion attacking my heart isn't a one sided feeling. And then I see it more clearly; the tear that cascades down his face and my heart manages to sink further.
"Carlos," is all I say as I hold his face near mine as I wipe the tear away and smile through the sadness. "I'll see you again, don't worry!" My eyes begin to blur through it all. "Please don't cry on my account."
"You always know what to say, don't you (YN)?" Carlos laughs. His arm reaches up and holds onto my hand, pulling it away from his face and he ends up just holding onto me "I just can't believe you're leaving again. It feels like I just got my best friend from up north and now you're going back."
"Thank God for modern technology then, right? Easy availability," I say, attempting to lighten the mood.
He gazes down into my eyes briefly and I'm momentarily lost in thought as I gaze back into his. "It's just not the same," his voice breaks. "Having you here, with me, it's….it's what I lived for. Every year since we've met, I looked forward to every summer because it'd be the time I'd get to spend with you. But every summer you had to leave back home and my heart would break, ever so slightly. Then I'd simply wait for the next summer just to see you again because that's all I could do…You didn't know this but I tried hijacking my uncles car in the fall in the hopes that I'd be able to come see you," Carlos laughs. "As you can tell by my non-visit, my plans kind of fell through and I got caught."
"Wow. Look at how much I influence you! You turned into a felon!"
"If I could do it all over, I wouldn't change a thing. If it meant being able to see you and spend time with you, it would have been worth it," Carlos finishes and squeezes my hands. I fight oncoming tears as Carlos avoids the moment by coughing it lightly away.
"And here it is again, your departure and my heartbreak." Carlos tries laughing it off but I know how much he's hurting deep down. He must have felt my observation and he lets go of my hand.
"Carlos. Please realize it's not voluntarily. I really wish I had the ability to stay, to be here with you. But I need to be with my family. They need me and I need them. I wish we actually lived in this summer home because that'd mean I'd be able to see you every day of the year instead of just the days of summer. But that's not reality. I have to go, but just know that I love you, Carlos. I've loved you ever since I've first met you as a child."
Carlos looks back at me, and smiles once again. Not a full smile filled with happiness, but one of content. "Do you remember when we've first met?"
"Like it was yesterday!" I laugh. "We were at the beach and I was trying to make a sandcastle with the seashells my father and I collected. It was the best castle I've ever managed to make too! And then you waltz on over like you owned the place and jumped in it!"
"In my defense, I didn't think you cared so much!" he laughs. "I am truly sorry! I've learned my lesson: don't ruin your crush's sand castle!"
"I guess I forgive you," I mock him, like his choice of me being his 'crush.' A few moments pass, both of us just looking back at another until I cut in. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! I'm sorry I'm still stuck on that, but what a way to meet you!" I laugh.
"I regret nothing!"
"You don't?"
"Not at all. If I didn't think that was a good idea, I may have never met you. And that would make me feel more worse than how I already feel right now."
The reminder brings me back to the present and not childhood stories.
"Just promise me one thing," Carlos adds, grabbing my hands once again and swirling his thumb across my palm.
"And what would that be?"
"That you won't forget me. That you won't forget the moments we've shared and the moment's we could have had. That you won't forget that you're my summer love."
"I promise."
"You think one day we won't have to say goodbye? That one summer you'll stay with me?"
"I look forward to that beautiful day."
"(YN)! The ships leaving!" I look to see my dad yell from the car. It seems we really have run out of time. This is it. This is really goodbye. I turn back to Carlos.
I turn to look at Carlos and then gaze down at our tangled fingers. "Bye," I mumble.
"Bye," he whispers.
I couldn't help but sweep him into a hug and squeeze tightly. My face locks into his neck as I fear letting go but know I must. "I'll miss you."
"I can't wait for next summer," he whispers back and squeezes me tightly once again before I break our embrace. Before I turn to the car and before I fully leave Carlos' touch, I quickly peck him a kiss on the check.
"You'll always be my summer love," I whisper. I begin to walk away slowly as our hands still hold each other. It doesn't take long before I back away far enough that my hands slip out of his and I get closer and closer to the car.
I reach the car and am about to slip inside when Carlos calls at me. "Hey (YN)!"
"Yeah?"
"I love you too! Have a safe trip!"
I smile at his words and wave at him as I stumble into the car. I can't help but watch him as I lean outside the open window.
"Saying goodbye to Carlos?" my dad asks.
"Yeah, once again," I whisper sadly. As my dad drives the car away, Carlos and I lock our gazes. Our gazes are the last moments we share of summer. And soon, even that ends as my dad turns the corner on the main road, cutting my line of sight to Carlos. Cutting away the rest of my summer I shared with him.
The entire ride home, all I could think about was Carlos, summer love, and him saying 'I love you.'