One Eventful Christmas Starring Lily Evans And A Bunch Of Idiots.

"Hey there, Lily" James growled in her ear in what he hoped was a 'seductive' voice, but really, it made him sound like he had a sharp pointy object jammed down his throat, " I was, uh, just wonderin-"

"No Potter, before you start, no." Lily turned back to her friends and continuing to talk with them in a loud voice,

"No as in, yes?" James waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her ever increasingly tense back.

Lily swung round, her face contorted in a fierce growl, " No as in, I REALLY, REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU!!"

James grinned 'She's so cute when she says she hates me.' and turned to the Marauders

"She so wants me" James said as Peter grinned stupidly and gave him a thumbs up, Sirius – Sirius didn't even look at him, much too busy chatting up a blonde Ravenclaw and Remus just banged his head on the wall, then stopped suddenly and screamed, "Ah!!!! My braincells! My beautiful, beautiful braincells!! Come back!" He began sobbing. "I'm becoming like SIRIUS!!"

"Wha? Cool! You could bite me in your wolf form and we could be werewolf bitches!" Sirius said suddenly shoving the Ravenclaw aside, and coming up to Remus.

"Why would we want to be? And how does that tie into the plot of me losing my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beauti-"

"SHUT UP, MOONY! You are becoming like Sirius!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Uh... Moony?"

"My IQ is dropping by the second!"

"Er... Moony?"

"Remember me as a smart person, today I shall end my misery."

"Moony!?"

"With this wand I shall cast a spell, that will end my life forever!"

"MOONY!"

"Unless I come back as a ghost... then well... that would be weird."

"BLOODY HELL, MOONY!?!?!"

"Yes?"

"Um... nothing."

"Well... it is time for me to end my life." he paused, waiting for his friends to stop him but they just stood there with an oh-this-is-gonna-be-good look on their faces.

"Goodbye, friends."

"Bye, Moony!"

"Yes... I shall die now..."

"Okay."

"Oh no! Don't try to stop me!"

"'Kay."

"Yep... dying now."

"Well, get on with it." Sirius tapped his foot impatiently.

Remus took a deep breath and pointed his wand at himself when-

"Remus, what, in Merlin's name, are you doing?" Lily asked.

"Er... ending my life?"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm becoming too much like Sirius."

"Ah. Good reason. Goodbye Remus. Or should I say Sirius?"

"Oh what the hell! I'm taking the Peter way out!" Remus cried miserably and sank to his knee's.

"Uh, the 'Peter Way Out'??" Sirius looked strangely at Moony

"YAY! I have a way out named after me!" Peter did a small victory dance.

"Umm... The Peter way... is kind of like the 'cowards' way out..."

There was a pause and Peter stopped doing his victory dance, "The cowards way?"

" Yeah, you know, you're a coward... and I'm doing a cowardly thing by saying I'm gonna 'End My Life' kind-of thing and then backing out later... so therefore it's the cowardly way and therefore it's the Peter Way... So the Peter way is being a coward," he paused and looked at Peter's face. "Er... in a good way..."

"Sooo, you're saying... I'm a coward??"

"Uh, yeah, pretty much."

"And, uh, do you guys agree with this?" He looked at James and Sirius who were purposely avoiding his eye, "I see... well, there's just one thing left to say... I'VE GOT A WAY NAMED AFTER ME!!! SHAME, SIRIUS! SHAME JAMES!!"

"Er... we have ways too, Peter..."

"You do?"

"Yeah, when someone has a one night stand they say they, uh, pulled a Sirius and when someone asks Lily out and she says she hates them and would rather kiss the giant squid we call it a James Potter!" Sirius explained.

"You do!?!" James stared at Sirius with a horrified look on his face.

" Yeah, you would not believe how many times THAT happens..."

"Really, to who? Who's asked my girlfriend out?"

"She's your girlfriend?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Where have you been?

"Does she know she's your girlfriend?"

"I'm not sure, we both know she's not the brightest star in the sky-"

"YEAH, THAT'S ME!" Sirius screamed. "Well, it is, Sirius - dog star...?"

"Ahem." Lily said leaning against the wall listening to the conversation with an annoyed look on her face.

"Hey, Lils." James said casually. "Long time, no see."

"I've been standing here the whole time!" she yelled. "AND I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" and with that she stomped away... yet again.

"Sure... you're not." James muttered, "She is so in denial. She just can't get over the fact she snagged such a hot, athletic, special, unique, amazing, spectacular guy..."

"And modest too..." Remus mumbled.

"Thats the spirit, Moony!!" James said not noticing his sarcasm.

"Ah, yeah...?" Remus edged away and buried his head in a book, no doubt, trying to recreate his lost braincells.

"What's a one-night stand?" A confused looking Peter asked...

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