A/N: I would have loved to get some Kaho-bashing in here, you know
something about her kissing like a Dyson but it really would have spoiled
the mood, (btw - I hate Kaho with a passion!)
The quote is from the songs and sonnets of John Donne.
Forever For Love by Clow'd9
Disclaimer: You know these characters that have you all obsessed and spending money you can't afford on DVDs and time you haven't got on fanfiction? Well they're nothing to do with me, blame CLAMP.
Chapter 1 - Goodbyes
It was over. Clow's reincarnation had revealed himself; Sakura had been tested and had overcome. The cards were safe and so was his mistress. What now? What was his purpose? Clow would have told him his purpose was to make the Cardcaptor happy. . .but then he had also said to wake him each morning with a kiss and a smile then pinch him so he knew the angel from his dreams really was the angel in his arms too. Yue smiled sadly. That was Clow.
Yukito made his mistress happy, Yukito made everyone happy and Touya loved him, Yue understood that because he loved the Snow Bunny too. It was impossible not to. He loved Sakura as well, it was new and tentative but it was real. . .she was always so kind to him.
/Make Sakura happy/
Yukito did that in abundance surely his presence wasn't necessary?
It would be lovely to end it, to forget old love and new because either way they were over before they started. Clow. Fainne. Touya. . .
Eriol.
He had gone to see the boy in his mansion, one much like Clow Reed's own. Why had he allowed Keroberos and him to choose a new master? Why had he created new Guardians? Why? Why? Why?
All answers had come accompanied with a familiar, gentle smile. . .it was hard to face the smile and he refused to accept the answers.
Yes. To forget would be a wonderful thing.
To forget.
To sleep.
To dream of something pleasant for once.
. . .He wanted to end it.
"There must be a way. . ."
*****************************************************************
"Oh Eriol I'm really gonna miss you!" Sakura squeezed the slight figure in tight hug then frowned and amended her statement. "Well I mean I won't miss the tests and fainting spells. . .or the near death experiences."
"Or your cryptic non-advice." Kero mumbled.
"Or your damned 'it'." Touya glared venomously at Nakuru who was treading more carefully around the boy after having been booted out of the room when she tried to stop him from telling Yukito he knew about Yue.
Tomoyo spoke up with her eyes sparkling. "Or that hat Eriol. . .I really don't like that hat."
The child mage smiled good-humouredly. "Perhaps next time I'm in the country I'll let you design a new one."
"Well if I start sketching now you'll know you have to come back." She held out her arms for the reincarnation to step into and he did so immediately, after a warm embrace he drew back.
"Well I really hate long goodbyes." He raised his shoulders eloquently.
"It must really irritate you being a dead mans reincarnation then." Eight pairs of eyes widened in surprise including the toffee coloured ones he himself was looking through. The words were sarcastic and bitter an inflection and tone never used by Yukito. As soon as the Moon Guardian's words escaped he clapped his hands over his mouth.
Eriol recovered swiftly and turned to the anxious false form.
"Goodbye Yue."
He nodded coolly from within Yukito. This child wasn't Clow, he did not owe him any warmth, plus he couldn't speak with the Snow Bunny's hands covering his mouth.
Kero spoke over the tension and took his final dig at his one time opponent around a mouthful of pudding. "Whenever you come back there's a bar of chocolate waiting for you Spinel."
The panther plush sniffed disdainfully. "I'm much obliged I'm sure."
"Jeez your as uptight as Yue!"
Touya was watching his friend as he suddenly pressed his hands harder against his lips feeling a foreign anger prickle under his skin. Yue wasn't about to transform but there were other ways to get his message across.
He waited until the brimming spoonful was taking the well-travelled path to Kero's mouth before sending a tendril of power and spilling the contents down the yellow chin. The Sun Guardian gasped and gazed tearfully at the spilt desert.
Yukito rushed forward immediately to clean the creature off leaving his mouth uncovered, Yue didn't waste the chance.
"Now there's a headline; 'Guardian Beast of the Seal spills meal, scientists are baffled that he could possibly miss his mouth'."
Spinel Sun sniggered but Touya saw the consternation in his best friends eyes and any amusement he might have felt vanished.
"Yue! If you have something to say transform and say it, don't do it through Yuki."
Militant purple flashed within gentle amber. "Fine." 'Yukito' snapped.
There was a pause before the youth prompted again. "Well?"
The group waited staring hard at the Snow Bunny whose thoughts seemed to turn inward for a moment until he blinked. "He says he has nothing to say."
Touya sighed and Eriol continued.
"Well now we really do have to go."
Tomoyo and Sakura followed him towards the door the latter looking regretful. "I wish Syaoran was still here to say goodbye to you."
Eriol chuckled. "I think my cute little descendant would have found more to complain about me than just my hat Sakura."
Tomoyo nodded. "I agree there's not a lot of love lost from his side."
The reincarnation looked at Sakura as she blushed. "He was jealous but when he comes back there will be nothing standing in your way."
The Card Mistress blinked. "H-hoe?"
He smiled with trademark evasiveness. "You'll see." Kero looked up from dabbing his front in order to roll his eyes.
Touya nodded slightly at the boy as a farewell and Yukito waved his hand at him as he walked down the drive with the two girls
The Snow Bunny breathed a sigh of relief and dropped his hands, Touya turned to him. "What's gotten into Yue?"
"I don't know. . .but then I don't actually know him very well."
"None of us do, he's a little-."
The figure of his lover changed into that of his-. . . well actually he had no idea what Yue was to him but he knew he didn't like the icy cast to the Guardian's features.
The angel straightened his sash agitatedly, an emotion people rarely applied to the calm being. "I wish you would all stop talking about me as though I'm not here."
"Well your hardly sociable Yue, you only ever appear when there's trouble brewing."
"Oh and I suppose your willing to sacrifice time with Yukito so his true form can surface?" Silence answered him. "I thought not."
"Kami!" Touya threw his hands in the air. "You're impossible!"
The violet eyes looked reminiscent for a moment. "So I've been told."
The youth stared at him thoughtfully. "Is that what this is about? You miss Clow?"
"Of course I miss Clow."
Touya grimaced slightly. "Gomen, that was a stupid question, what I mean is, are you lonely?"
The ageless face was impassive. "No, I am not lonely, I'm just old and tired and I just want to. . .to. . ."
"To what?"
Yue was silent for a moment considering the human. "I would like to die."
Touya stared at him in incredulous shock. "I beg your pardon?"
"I think you heard me Touya."
"I heard you alright I just hope you were being melodramatic!"
"Why?"
Touya couldn't believe it. Why? WHY? "You promised you'd protect my little sister!". . .No, that wasn't really why.
"I know I did and I have. She is out of danger now and more than powerful enough to take care of herself and the cards."
"But. . .b-but-." The human stuttered.
"What?"
The large hands began gesturing a little awkwardly. "Yuki and I, we- ."
Yue nodded calmly. "Yes I know of your attachment."
"It's a lot more than an 'attachment'!"
"Very well friendship, lust, love, whatever you wish to call it." The Guardian sounded weary for a moment before stepping closer to the youth and looking up at him. "I am not heartless Touya, things would be a lot easier if I was." Touya continued staring down feeling some strange emotion stir for this creature with his beautiful but alien appearance and for once seeing beyond the rigid shields to the sad spirit that saw fit to build them in the first place. He wanted him to stay, he wanted to let him fly away. . .everyone and everything deserved some happiness. He looked aside and was surprised when Yue caught his chin with gentle fingers and turned him back.
"There is a way that we can both have what we want." Touya stared back in a daze. What did he want? Who did he want? "I will leave Yukito in your care-."
"But ho-." The Guardian silenced him with his hand.
"Please, no questions Touya, just trust that I truly wish for you to be happy and that I will not jeopardise Yukito. He has your magic to sustain him and though he may feel strange at first he will adapt very quickly and forget that things were ever any different."
Slowly Touya pulled the hand from his mouth. "I think you underestimate Yuki, he feels things more deeply than that."
"I won't just disappear, I'll do it gradually, his preoccupation will be my shield." Heat returned to the violet gaze. "You had better take care of him Touya, I am warning you, you have the power to hurt him more that any other."
"I would never hurt Yuki! I love him!" Touya gasped, he'd never said that before. Yue was looking at him with the slightest of smiles hovering over his mouth.
"I know for a fact he would love to hear that." The Guardian sobered suddenly. "I. . .I would like to thank you for being such a good friend to him, when I brought him here I wasn't sure he'd make any friends and. . .well, his truest friend appears to be his true love as well."
Touya was staring at him looking more than a little bemused. "You sound like a parent."
Yue smiled. "In many ways that's what I am."
They could hear Sakura calling after Eriol who was finally able to let the Taxi drive off.
"Bye!!!!!!!"
The taller man bit his lip. "How are you going to tell her?"
Yue hesitated before stepping back and shrugging slightly changing his appearance infinitesimally as though shedding glamour. The hard angles of his face became softer, the stern mouth fuller, even his skin looked warmer and his eyes. . .for once they showed everything and he was all the more beautiful because of it.
He licked his lips nervously avoiding Touya's gaze. "As gently as possible." He answered.
"She'll blame herself."
"I know but I. . .I hurt Touya," a pale, slender hand rubbed unconsciously over his heart. "After any loss we are comforted and told time will heal it, it will fade to an ache." He looked up again and the human was stunned by how vulnerable he seemed. "This isn't fading Touya and the curse of immortality is that neither am I."
"I. . .understand." He didn't understand immortality but he understood grief and he recognised pain even in vertical pupils and violet irises.
"You'll let me?
"I can't stop you."
Yue looked wistful. "Oh you could Touya. . .you certainly could."
Touya was staring at him in confusion when his sister returned. "Sorry I took so long, the limo just came and picked up Tomoyo, what's for dinner?" Sakura looked at her brother expectantly before noticing her Guardian.
"Yue-san!" she cried delightedly. "Would you like to stay for dinner? I know you don't eat but we can talk hai?"
Kero still hadn't forgiven his brother. "He talks even less than he eats, it's unnatural." The girl ignored the Sun Guardian and raised her eyebrows when the elegant figure or her other protector knelt in front of her and spoke gently.
"After you have eaten I have something I would like to ask you." He said after because he knew she would not want food once he had told her.
The young Card Mistress looked intrigued before she nodded and bounced off to the kitchen.
"It's your turn Touya." The Sun Guardian stated as he turned to follow his mistress. Yue halted him.
"Keroberos, I would like to speak to you too.
"After dinner."
"Now!"
Kero blinked and after studying his brother for a moment smothered the doubtless snide response that arose in his mind. He nodded once and followed Yue when the other Guardian led him upstairs and into their mistress' room.
Yue's words to his brother were much the same as they had been to Touya but the other creation was harder to convince.
"I don't see how that's possible." The plush looked dubious, how could Yue fade without killing Yukito?
"It's not easy, but there is a way."
"Which is?"
"I won't bore you with the details Kero."
"No, no, please bore me." The Sun Guardian had his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Yue-san I'm finished!" Sakura called.
Kero looked in the direction of the shout. "You're going to tell her now!?" His brother nodded. "I hope you'll be a little less blunt than Clow was when he told us."
"I will." Yue stood up. "Are you coming down?"
"No. . .I think I'll stay up here for a while." The Moon Guardian nodded, they were brothers after all and they did care for each other, Kero just needed some time alone. He scratched behind the golden ears briefly.
"Good-bye Keroberos, Guardian Beast of the Seal."
"Good-bye Yue, Judgment Maker a.k.a Creators Pet." The Moon Guardian smiled as he made to leave the room, this was a ritual of theirs for whenever they were separated.
"Goodbye brother." He closed the door behind him.
Touya gave Yue one warning look as he returned to the kitchen, the Guardian acknowledged it with a nod before entering the sitting room and approaching his Mistress.
Under the pretence of washing up the youth stayed close. He listened raptly to Yue's soft voice as it made such a poignant request and after that he stood in the doorway and watched gentle hands wipe away tears and stroke soothingly along his sister's hair.
"Is it me? Am I bad Mistress? Did I do something wrong?" The young girl sobbed into the white robed shoulder in front of a kneeling Yue.
"Not at all. You are a wonderful Mistress. . .and an even better friend."
It was the kindest thing he could have said and it was also the only thing that could have made her cry harder but Yue stayed with her. He stayed with her until darkness fell and the ache in Touya's legs prompted him to enter the room and sit down.
Watching Yue with his sister the youth realised something for the first time, something that surprised him but really made perfect sense. Yue was as easy to love as Yukito. They were so alike at that moment. Kind and giving, warm and supportive. For the first time they truly seemed like two halves of a whole. . .how was it possible they could separate?
That night Yue tucked Sakura in, Yue read to her although she was past the age of being read to each night, Yue brushed her hair and kissed her forehead before closing the door and murmuring goodnight instead of goodbye. . .shortly after that it was Yue who carried his weeping mistress and friend back to bed with the glass of milk she insisted she need to get to sleep and the whole process of reading to her and putting her to bed was repeated again. She was young and she was exhausted so she fell asleep that time, her smooth brow pleated with distress and her cheeks streaked with dried and renewed tears. It was Touya who checked on her and it was Yue who waited each of the five times that he did so until the boy finally sat still and watched the Guardian.
He stood statue still at the open window his face tilted up to the moon as though catching its rays. When he opened his eyes again they held the look of a man gazing at his lover and the way he traced the moon's outline suggested the same strange intimacy.
The creation breathed deeply for a moment before speaking and caressing his glowing symbol.
"Sweetest love, I do not go,
For weariness of thee,
Nor in hope the world can show
A fitter love for me;
But since that I
Must die at last, 'tis best
To use my self in jest
Thus by feigned deaths do die."
He was speaking in English so Touya could only understand sporadic words. . .but it was still the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.
"What was that?"
Yue turned back and stood with the moon lighting his hair and casting shadows across his face. "A final farewell." He replied simply.
"What about Yuki?" The Guardian closed his eyes briefly.
"I wish for you to tell him, prepare him. . .he will sense when I truly leave."
"Why can't you tell him?"
"Its needs to be said face to face and for obvious reasons that is not possible and besides. . .you're the only one who could comfort him."
Touya made no comment but the Guardian filled the silence.
"Give him this." He reached behind to the mass of silver hair and chose one lock to pull to the front. With a slight flash of light he used a blade of ice to cut the long tress. Touya took the softly curling threads in his hand and looked enquiringly at Yue.
"Just so he'll know that. . ." The Guardian hesitated. "Somehow I'm always with him." Touya nodded before Yue spoke again. "I'm going to transform now. . .are you ready?" The youth almost laughed at the ridiculous question until he realised these really were his last moments with the creation.
"Iie, matte. . ." He moved closer avoiding the puzzled look on Yue's face at his uncharacteristic hesitancy. "May I kiss you?" The Guardian blinked then smiled radiantly.
"I would like that." He whispered.
As tentative as experimenting teenagers they leaned inwards and neither could have said who closed the gap so their lips touched. . .but they did.
Softer than the feathers of Yue's wings or the rivulets of his hair they kissed, close mouthed and barely touching it seemed, neither wanting to be swept too far along by it.
His only experience of kissing had been with Kaho and he'd always hoped his next kiss would be with Yukito but somehow it felt right to kiss Yue. Right. . .and wonderful.
They drew back as simultaneously as they had come together. Yue brushed the youths cheek lingeringly a tender look in his eyes.
"I hope you tell Yukito soon." He murmured walking to the centre of the room.
Touya could think of nothing to say even when he recognised the Guardian was about to transform any second now. He stared at the being with wide eyes and hoped he could read whatever was in his heart, whatever it was that he himself couldn't decipher and certainly could not say. He couldn't tell if Yue's smile was an acknowledgment or a farewell and when he saw the figure of his best friend emerge from the cocoon of feathers he realised he would never know.
Yukito had become more accustomed to transforming now and refocused quickly on his new surroundings beaming brightly when he saw Touya. "Toya! Daijobu desu ka?" Are you alright?
The darker student didn't reply immediately and then he spoke in a rush. Before his courage failed him he told Yukito everything and at first shocked silence greeted his words and then tears as he clutched at the white rope of satin that was his true forms hair. Touya comforted him by holding him, rubbing his back and murmuring his name until the tears stopped. Yue was right; his presence did help his friend deal with it. The knowledge made him hold the Snow Bunny even closer. Long after the boy had entered an exhausted sleep he stayed awake staring out the open window at the distant moon then he himself shed silent tears.
For the next week Yukito seemed to concentrate very hard on the hidden being within him, monitoring his presence but when that week became two and then three and finally a month passed with no appearance of Yue but at least no disappearance Yukito began relaxing and smiling again.
They were sat studying on Touya's bed one night, the last night of the full moon when Yukito started chatting in his old manner.
"Yue's still here. Maybe he's changed his mind and he's going to stay, perhaps he's seen how much we all love him."
He smiled happily while Touya just stared back. He had missed this, his cheerful friend and he. . .he-.
"I love you."
Yukito blinked at him in surprise perhaps giving him the chance to withdraw the words. He didn't and nor did he want to, he meant every word a thousand times.
"I love you." He repeated as he gathered his pens and his notebooks and dropped them on the floor.
"I love you." He pulled the textbook from the small youth's nerveless hands and dropped that on the floor as well. He sat close.
Yukito was frozen like a rabbit in headlights. "I love you." Touya murmured and kissed him, waiting until he was tentatively being kissed back before lowering the fragile body against the covers.
"I love you."
If anyone had looked in to Touya's room that night they would have seen two figures that surely were always meant to be one move together. Limbs driven by passion and halted occasionally by uncertainty. This was new to them both and yet it both looked and felt perfect and right.
An observer would have struggled not to sigh at the expressions of tenderness and wonder on two such different faces. Gentle hands, questing fingers, sweet gasps and sensual moans. Both art on canvas and symphony on the breeze. They worshiped each other and learned each other as they had not done since they met years ago and as they had wanted to for months. All this a watcher would have seen. . .
What they would not have known was how the smallest one trembled as though with the strength of two orgasms, they would not have recognised the slight dimming of his aura and they would not have seen the dazed amber eyes change to sharp warm violet, the dark haired youth himself only just registered the change but the words were loud and clear.
"Thank-you Toya." Yue whispered and faded with Yukito's smile.
/"I won't just disappear, I'll do it gradually, his preoccupation will be my shield."/
The beginning of something new had marked the end of something centuries old. Yukito registered it when he finally returned to the warm shell of his body and Touya gathered him close in silent comforting knowledge.
The Snow Bunny couldn't cry from the sadness because his body still thrummed from the joy and that of course had been Yue's intention. At least the Guardian, wherever he was, had experienced one last moment of pleasure to add to if not over-ride the pain.
Goodbye Yue, Touya thought.
"I love you Touya." Yukito said.
/"Time will heal it, it will fade to an ache."/
Then they slept, they dreamt and they vowed never to forget,
Yue. . .
The quote is from the songs and sonnets of John Donne.
Forever For Love by Clow'd9
Disclaimer: You know these characters that have you all obsessed and spending money you can't afford on DVDs and time you haven't got on fanfiction? Well they're nothing to do with me, blame CLAMP.
Chapter 1 - Goodbyes
It was over. Clow's reincarnation had revealed himself; Sakura had been tested and had overcome. The cards were safe and so was his mistress. What now? What was his purpose? Clow would have told him his purpose was to make the Cardcaptor happy. . .but then he had also said to wake him each morning with a kiss and a smile then pinch him so he knew the angel from his dreams really was the angel in his arms too. Yue smiled sadly. That was Clow.
Yukito made his mistress happy, Yukito made everyone happy and Touya loved him, Yue understood that because he loved the Snow Bunny too. It was impossible not to. He loved Sakura as well, it was new and tentative but it was real. . .she was always so kind to him.
/Make Sakura happy/
Yukito did that in abundance surely his presence wasn't necessary?
It would be lovely to end it, to forget old love and new because either way they were over before they started. Clow. Fainne. Touya. . .
Eriol.
He had gone to see the boy in his mansion, one much like Clow Reed's own. Why had he allowed Keroberos and him to choose a new master? Why had he created new Guardians? Why? Why? Why?
All answers had come accompanied with a familiar, gentle smile. . .it was hard to face the smile and he refused to accept the answers.
Yes. To forget would be a wonderful thing.
To forget.
To sleep.
To dream of something pleasant for once.
. . .He wanted to end it.
"There must be a way. . ."
*****************************************************************
"Oh Eriol I'm really gonna miss you!" Sakura squeezed the slight figure in tight hug then frowned and amended her statement. "Well I mean I won't miss the tests and fainting spells. . .or the near death experiences."
"Or your cryptic non-advice." Kero mumbled.
"Or your damned 'it'." Touya glared venomously at Nakuru who was treading more carefully around the boy after having been booted out of the room when she tried to stop him from telling Yukito he knew about Yue.
Tomoyo spoke up with her eyes sparkling. "Or that hat Eriol. . .I really don't like that hat."
The child mage smiled good-humouredly. "Perhaps next time I'm in the country I'll let you design a new one."
"Well if I start sketching now you'll know you have to come back." She held out her arms for the reincarnation to step into and he did so immediately, after a warm embrace he drew back.
"Well I really hate long goodbyes." He raised his shoulders eloquently.
"It must really irritate you being a dead mans reincarnation then." Eight pairs of eyes widened in surprise including the toffee coloured ones he himself was looking through. The words were sarcastic and bitter an inflection and tone never used by Yukito. As soon as the Moon Guardian's words escaped he clapped his hands over his mouth.
Eriol recovered swiftly and turned to the anxious false form.
"Goodbye Yue."
He nodded coolly from within Yukito. This child wasn't Clow, he did not owe him any warmth, plus he couldn't speak with the Snow Bunny's hands covering his mouth.
Kero spoke over the tension and took his final dig at his one time opponent around a mouthful of pudding. "Whenever you come back there's a bar of chocolate waiting for you Spinel."
The panther plush sniffed disdainfully. "I'm much obliged I'm sure."
"Jeez your as uptight as Yue!"
Touya was watching his friend as he suddenly pressed his hands harder against his lips feeling a foreign anger prickle under his skin. Yue wasn't about to transform but there were other ways to get his message across.
He waited until the brimming spoonful was taking the well-travelled path to Kero's mouth before sending a tendril of power and spilling the contents down the yellow chin. The Sun Guardian gasped and gazed tearfully at the spilt desert.
Yukito rushed forward immediately to clean the creature off leaving his mouth uncovered, Yue didn't waste the chance.
"Now there's a headline; 'Guardian Beast of the Seal spills meal, scientists are baffled that he could possibly miss his mouth'."
Spinel Sun sniggered but Touya saw the consternation in his best friends eyes and any amusement he might have felt vanished.
"Yue! If you have something to say transform and say it, don't do it through Yuki."
Militant purple flashed within gentle amber. "Fine." 'Yukito' snapped.
There was a pause before the youth prompted again. "Well?"
The group waited staring hard at the Snow Bunny whose thoughts seemed to turn inward for a moment until he blinked. "He says he has nothing to say."
Touya sighed and Eriol continued.
"Well now we really do have to go."
Tomoyo and Sakura followed him towards the door the latter looking regretful. "I wish Syaoran was still here to say goodbye to you."
Eriol chuckled. "I think my cute little descendant would have found more to complain about me than just my hat Sakura."
Tomoyo nodded. "I agree there's not a lot of love lost from his side."
The reincarnation looked at Sakura as she blushed. "He was jealous but when he comes back there will be nothing standing in your way."
The Card Mistress blinked. "H-hoe?"
He smiled with trademark evasiveness. "You'll see." Kero looked up from dabbing his front in order to roll his eyes.
Touya nodded slightly at the boy as a farewell and Yukito waved his hand at him as he walked down the drive with the two girls
The Snow Bunny breathed a sigh of relief and dropped his hands, Touya turned to him. "What's gotten into Yue?"
"I don't know. . .but then I don't actually know him very well."
"None of us do, he's a little-."
The figure of his lover changed into that of his-. . . well actually he had no idea what Yue was to him but he knew he didn't like the icy cast to the Guardian's features.
The angel straightened his sash agitatedly, an emotion people rarely applied to the calm being. "I wish you would all stop talking about me as though I'm not here."
"Well your hardly sociable Yue, you only ever appear when there's trouble brewing."
"Oh and I suppose your willing to sacrifice time with Yukito so his true form can surface?" Silence answered him. "I thought not."
"Kami!" Touya threw his hands in the air. "You're impossible!"
The violet eyes looked reminiscent for a moment. "So I've been told."
The youth stared at him thoughtfully. "Is that what this is about? You miss Clow?"
"Of course I miss Clow."
Touya grimaced slightly. "Gomen, that was a stupid question, what I mean is, are you lonely?"
The ageless face was impassive. "No, I am not lonely, I'm just old and tired and I just want to. . .to. . ."
"To what?"
Yue was silent for a moment considering the human. "I would like to die."
Touya stared at him in incredulous shock. "I beg your pardon?"
"I think you heard me Touya."
"I heard you alright I just hope you were being melodramatic!"
"Why?"
Touya couldn't believe it. Why? WHY? "You promised you'd protect my little sister!". . .No, that wasn't really why.
"I know I did and I have. She is out of danger now and more than powerful enough to take care of herself and the cards."
"But. . .b-but-." The human stuttered.
"What?"
The large hands began gesturing a little awkwardly. "Yuki and I, we- ."
Yue nodded calmly. "Yes I know of your attachment."
"It's a lot more than an 'attachment'!"
"Very well friendship, lust, love, whatever you wish to call it." The Guardian sounded weary for a moment before stepping closer to the youth and looking up at him. "I am not heartless Touya, things would be a lot easier if I was." Touya continued staring down feeling some strange emotion stir for this creature with his beautiful but alien appearance and for once seeing beyond the rigid shields to the sad spirit that saw fit to build them in the first place. He wanted him to stay, he wanted to let him fly away. . .everyone and everything deserved some happiness. He looked aside and was surprised when Yue caught his chin with gentle fingers and turned him back.
"There is a way that we can both have what we want." Touya stared back in a daze. What did he want? Who did he want? "I will leave Yukito in your care-."
"But ho-." The Guardian silenced him with his hand.
"Please, no questions Touya, just trust that I truly wish for you to be happy and that I will not jeopardise Yukito. He has your magic to sustain him and though he may feel strange at first he will adapt very quickly and forget that things were ever any different."
Slowly Touya pulled the hand from his mouth. "I think you underestimate Yuki, he feels things more deeply than that."
"I won't just disappear, I'll do it gradually, his preoccupation will be my shield." Heat returned to the violet gaze. "You had better take care of him Touya, I am warning you, you have the power to hurt him more that any other."
"I would never hurt Yuki! I love him!" Touya gasped, he'd never said that before. Yue was looking at him with the slightest of smiles hovering over his mouth.
"I know for a fact he would love to hear that." The Guardian sobered suddenly. "I. . .I would like to thank you for being such a good friend to him, when I brought him here I wasn't sure he'd make any friends and. . .well, his truest friend appears to be his true love as well."
Touya was staring at him looking more than a little bemused. "You sound like a parent."
Yue smiled. "In many ways that's what I am."
They could hear Sakura calling after Eriol who was finally able to let the Taxi drive off.
"Bye!!!!!!!"
The taller man bit his lip. "How are you going to tell her?"
Yue hesitated before stepping back and shrugging slightly changing his appearance infinitesimally as though shedding glamour. The hard angles of his face became softer, the stern mouth fuller, even his skin looked warmer and his eyes. . .for once they showed everything and he was all the more beautiful because of it.
He licked his lips nervously avoiding Touya's gaze. "As gently as possible." He answered.
"She'll blame herself."
"I know but I. . .I hurt Touya," a pale, slender hand rubbed unconsciously over his heart. "After any loss we are comforted and told time will heal it, it will fade to an ache." He looked up again and the human was stunned by how vulnerable he seemed. "This isn't fading Touya and the curse of immortality is that neither am I."
"I. . .understand." He didn't understand immortality but he understood grief and he recognised pain even in vertical pupils and violet irises.
"You'll let me?
"I can't stop you."
Yue looked wistful. "Oh you could Touya. . .you certainly could."
Touya was staring at him in confusion when his sister returned. "Sorry I took so long, the limo just came and picked up Tomoyo, what's for dinner?" Sakura looked at her brother expectantly before noticing her Guardian.
"Yue-san!" she cried delightedly. "Would you like to stay for dinner? I know you don't eat but we can talk hai?"
Kero still hadn't forgiven his brother. "He talks even less than he eats, it's unnatural." The girl ignored the Sun Guardian and raised her eyebrows when the elegant figure or her other protector knelt in front of her and spoke gently.
"After you have eaten I have something I would like to ask you." He said after because he knew she would not want food once he had told her.
The young Card Mistress looked intrigued before she nodded and bounced off to the kitchen.
"It's your turn Touya." The Sun Guardian stated as he turned to follow his mistress. Yue halted him.
"Keroberos, I would like to speak to you too.
"After dinner."
"Now!"
Kero blinked and after studying his brother for a moment smothered the doubtless snide response that arose in his mind. He nodded once and followed Yue when the other Guardian led him upstairs and into their mistress' room.
Yue's words to his brother were much the same as they had been to Touya but the other creation was harder to convince.
"I don't see how that's possible." The plush looked dubious, how could Yue fade without killing Yukito?
"It's not easy, but there is a way."
"Which is?"
"I won't bore you with the details Kero."
"No, no, please bore me." The Sun Guardian had his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Yue-san I'm finished!" Sakura called.
Kero looked in the direction of the shout. "You're going to tell her now!?" His brother nodded. "I hope you'll be a little less blunt than Clow was when he told us."
"I will." Yue stood up. "Are you coming down?"
"No. . .I think I'll stay up here for a while." The Moon Guardian nodded, they were brothers after all and they did care for each other, Kero just needed some time alone. He scratched behind the golden ears briefly.
"Good-bye Keroberos, Guardian Beast of the Seal."
"Good-bye Yue, Judgment Maker a.k.a Creators Pet." The Moon Guardian smiled as he made to leave the room, this was a ritual of theirs for whenever they were separated.
"Goodbye brother." He closed the door behind him.
Touya gave Yue one warning look as he returned to the kitchen, the Guardian acknowledged it with a nod before entering the sitting room and approaching his Mistress.
Under the pretence of washing up the youth stayed close. He listened raptly to Yue's soft voice as it made such a poignant request and after that he stood in the doorway and watched gentle hands wipe away tears and stroke soothingly along his sister's hair.
"Is it me? Am I bad Mistress? Did I do something wrong?" The young girl sobbed into the white robed shoulder in front of a kneeling Yue.
"Not at all. You are a wonderful Mistress. . .and an even better friend."
It was the kindest thing he could have said and it was also the only thing that could have made her cry harder but Yue stayed with her. He stayed with her until darkness fell and the ache in Touya's legs prompted him to enter the room and sit down.
Watching Yue with his sister the youth realised something for the first time, something that surprised him but really made perfect sense. Yue was as easy to love as Yukito. They were so alike at that moment. Kind and giving, warm and supportive. For the first time they truly seemed like two halves of a whole. . .how was it possible they could separate?
That night Yue tucked Sakura in, Yue read to her although she was past the age of being read to each night, Yue brushed her hair and kissed her forehead before closing the door and murmuring goodnight instead of goodbye. . .shortly after that it was Yue who carried his weeping mistress and friend back to bed with the glass of milk she insisted she need to get to sleep and the whole process of reading to her and putting her to bed was repeated again. She was young and she was exhausted so she fell asleep that time, her smooth brow pleated with distress and her cheeks streaked with dried and renewed tears. It was Touya who checked on her and it was Yue who waited each of the five times that he did so until the boy finally sat still and watched the Guardian.
He stood statue still at the open window his face tilted up to the moon as though catching its rays. When he opened his eyes again they held the look of a man gazing at his lover and the way he traced the moon's outline suggested the same strange intimacy.
The creation breathed deeply for a moment before speaking and caressing his glowing symbol.
"Sweetest love, I do not go,
For weariness of thee,
Nor in hope the world can show
A fitter love for me;
But since that I
Must die at last, 'tis best
To use my self in jest
Thus by feigned deaths do die."
He was speaking in English so Touya could only understand sporadic words. . .but it was still the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.
"What was that?"
Yue turned back and stood with the moon lighting his hair and casting shadows across his face. "A final farewell." He replied simply.
"What about Yuki?" The Guardian closed his eyes briefly.
"I wish for you to tell him, prepare him. . .he will sense when I truly leave."
"Why can't you tell him?"
"Its needs to be said face to face and for obvious reasons that is not possible and besides. . .you're the only one who could comfort him."
Touya made no comment but the Guardian filled the silence.
"Give him this." He reached behind to the mass of silver hair and chose one lock to pull to the front. With a slight flash of light he used a blade of ice to cut the long tress. Touya took the softly curling threads in his hand and looked enquiringly at Yue.
"Just so he'll know that. . ." The Guardian hesitated. "Somehow I'm always with him." Touya nodded before Yue spoke again. "I'm going to transform now. . .are you ready?" The youth almost laughed at the ridiculous question until he realised these really were his last moments with the creation.
"Iie, matte. . ." He moved closer avoiding the puzzled look on Yue's face at his uncharacteristic hesitancy. "May I kiss you?" The Guardian blinked then smiled radiantly.
"I would like that." He whispered.
As tentative as experimenting teenagers they leaned inwards and neither could have said who closed the gap so their lips touched. . .but they did.
Softer than the feathers of Yue's wings or the rivulets of his hair they kissed, close mouthed and barely touching it seemed, neither wanting to be swept too far along by it.
His only experience of kissing had been with Kaho and he'd always hoped his next kiss would be with Yukito but somehow it felt right to kiss Yue. Right. . .and wonderful.
They drew back as simultaneously as they had come together. Yue brushed the youths cheek lingeringly a tender look in his eyes.
"I hope you tell Yukito soon." He murmured walking to the centre of the room.
Touya could think of nothing to say even when he recognised the Guardian was about to transform any second now. He stared at the being with wide eyes and hoped he could read whatever was in his heart, whatever it was that he himself couldn't decipher and certainly could not say. He couldn't tell if Yue's smile was an acknowledgment or a farewell and when he saw the figure of his best friend emerge from the cocoon of feathers he realised he would never know.
Yukito had become more accustomed to transforming now and refocused quickly on his new surroundings beaming brightly when he saw Touya. "Toya! Daijobu desu ka?" Are you alright?
The darker student didn't reply immediately and then he spoke in a rush. Before his courage failed him he told Yukito everything and at first shocked silence greeted his words and then tears as he clutched at the white rope of satin that was his true forms hair. Touya comforted him by holding him, rubbing his back and murmuring his name until the tears stopped. Yue was right; his presence did help his friend deal with it. The knowledge made him hold the Snow Bunny even closer. Long after the boy had entered an exhausted sleep he stayed awake staring out the open window at the distant moon then he himself shed silent tears.
For the next week Yukito seemed to concentrate very hard on the hidden being within him, monitoring his presence but when that week became two and then three and finally a month passed with no appearance of Yue but at least no disappearance Yukito began relaxing and smiling again.
They were sat studying on Touya's bed one night, the last night of the full moon when Yukito started chatting in his old manner.
"Yue's still here. Maybe he's changed his mind and he's going to stay, perhaps he's seen how much we all love him."
He smiled happily while Touya just stared back. He had missed this, his cheerful friend and he. . .he-.
"I love you."
Yukito blinked at him in surprise perhaps giving him the chance to withdraw the words. He didn't and nor did he want to, he meant every word a thousand times.
"I love you." He repeated as he gathered his pens and his notebooks and dropped them on the floor.
"I love you." He pulled the textbook from the small youth's nerveless hands and dropped that on the floor as well. He sat close.
Yukito was frozen like a rabbit in headlights. "I love you." Touya murmured and kissed him, waiting until he was tentatively being kissed back before lowering the fragile body against the covers.
"I love you."
If anyone had looked in to Touya's room that night they would have seen two figures that surely were always meant to be one move together. Limbs driven by passion and halted occasionally by uncertainty. This was new to them both and yet it both looked and felt perfect and right.
An observer would have struggled not to sigh at the expressions of tenderness and wonder on two such different faces. Gentle hands, questing fingers, sweet gasps and sensual moans. Both art on canvas and symphony on the breeze. They worshiped each other and learned each other as they had not done since they met years ago and as they had wanted to for months. All this a watcher would have seen. . .
What they would not have known was how the smallest one trembled as though with the strength of two orgasms, they would not have recognised the slight dimming of his aura and they would not have seen the dazed amber eyes change to sharp warm violet, the dark haired youth himself only just registered the change but the words were loud and clear.
"Thank-you Toya." Yue whispered and faded with Yukito's smile.
/"I won't just disappear, I'll do it gradually, his preoccupation will be my shield."/
The beginning of something new had marked the end of something centuries old. Yukito registered it when he finally returned to the warm shell of his body and Touya gathered him close in silent comforting knowledge.
The Snow Bunny couldn't cry from the sadness because his body still thrummed from the joy and that of course had been Yue's intention. At least the Guardian, wherever he was, had experienced one last moment of pleasure to add to if not over-ride the pain.
Goodbye Yue, Touya thought.
"I love you Touya." Yukito said.
/"Time will heal it, it will fade to an ache."/
Then they slept, they dreamt and they vowed never to forget,
Yue. . .