This story is for Konoha Ninja 123, whose support and encouragement is the sole reason this story exists. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. I did, Dragonball Z would have been a lot funnier, and there would have been 40% more Piccolo and 80% more Vegeta. Take that, Toei!
On with the fic!
~*~ Hattiakourri ~*~
This is War!
Chapter 1: Challenge
A sopping wet Saiya-jin swept into his private apartment like a black thunderstorm, his thoughts seething and his cheeks burning, despite the cold shivers that rattled his bones.
"Damn you," the Saiyan prince snarled, trembling miserably. His teeth were chattering like a stupid beaver, and water was dribbling off of his eyebrows and out of his hair… even worse, his soaked training gear clung to his frame like a wet paper sack, and the building's air conditioner was working exceptionally well today…
Vegeta's normally abysmal luck had been made exponentially worse by the fact that his insufferable blue-haired housemate had apparently decided to take an hour-long shower, using every last drop of hot water in the entire house.... Even worse, the itchy chlorinated water was setting his skin ablaze and he was forced to make the choice between peeling off his own skin and hosing himself down with ice-water.
He chose the latter. His skin would take too long to come back.
Three minutes later, he came flying out of the shower, darting for the safety of his warm cotton duvet, cocooning himself inside its warmth—and laying plans for revenge….
"Stupid, repulsive Namekian scum…" he grumbled bitterly. "He has more in common with a fucking fern than a human being…" Swaddled in his warm blanket, the sopping Saiya-jin rose to his feet, trying to quell his sudden urge to commit homicide.
It was very difficult. A dead Piccolo seemed to be an attractive proposition at the moment…
How petty! How… simple-minded, Vegeta seethed. That overgrown pickle thought he had to get back at me for that stupid—
…wait a minute. Overgrown pickle.
…
Oh.
Was that supposed to be revenge for that petty little incident with the pickles? Was that what THAT was supposed to be? Was that half-ass, juvenile stunt (annoying as it was) supposed to be some little play at payback?
"Ha! Damn fool doesn't know what the hell revenge is!" he sneered, rising to his feet. His lips twisted in a cold sneer as he rose to his feet and looked to the window, where the sun was beginning to fall in the sky.
I'll show him revenge.
I'll show him how it's done!
I'll make him sorry that he ever messed with the likes of me.
"Namek… the gauntlet has been thrown, and you have sealed your own doom. This is war!" he bellowed with his most commanding tone, abandoning his bed sheet to don his armor. He had work to do, a Namek to destroy, and dignity to reclaim!
Just then, Bulma walked in with the laundry.
"Whaaa?! Vegeta? What the hell—where are your clothes?!"
"DAMN IT!"
Just his luck.
~*~
A wonderful start to a plan that we all know will work so well…. XD