OK so this is a fic written in emails between Tony and Kate whilst Tony was on sick-leave after getting the plague. Got it? Then on with the story…
To: SexMachine
From: KateTodd
Hey Tony,
Enjoying sick-leave? Lucky son-of-a-bitch. It's hell here. We got a really bad case 2 days ago we're wrapping up. I'll spare you the gory details. All you need to know is that we got him. But don't we always?
So what have you been getting up to? The mind boggles.
Abby's come to take me to lunch so I've got to go. Just wanted to check up on you is all.
Abby says hi. Bye Tony.
Kate.
To: KateTodd
From: SexMachine
Katie,
I knew you missed me :P I don't know exactly what you think I do on sick-leave mind you. I am far from enjoying it. I've watched all the movies I own at least once already and my couch has an actual me-shaped indent in it.
You said you'd spare me the details of the case but seriously Kate, I'm going insane with boredom over here – send me something. Anything. Gibbs doesn't want me working, but I know how much you all need me really. Bet it was a hard case to crack without me there huh?
Someone just rang the door-buzzer. I hope it's another carpet cleaner salesman. The last one kept me entertained for two whole hours! And I don't even have any carpets!
Say hi to Abby for me,
Tony.
To: SexMachine
From: KateTodd
Tony,
Well I think I'd still rather be bored and at home than busy and here. Gibbs has been so agro lately. McGee got him a coffee this morning and he didn't drink it. It's still on his desk right now. I'm looking at it as we speak. Do you understand what I'm telling you DiNozzo? GIBBS ISN'T DRINKING COFFEE!
And another thing – I caught Abby and McGee making out in the lab earlier. It really is disturbing here today. I've taken to staying at my desk and not moving if I can help it. It's working out OK. You're not here to annoy me so it's really quite peaceful.
So how are you feeling anyway? Has the coughing stopped yet? Brad said it should have almost cleared by now.
Talk to you soon Tony,
From, Kate
To: KateTodd
From: SexMachine
Katie,
Brad said, did he? You and the fine doctor unite over my illness did you? Well he's wrong because the cough is still there.
I have to say, hearing about Gibbs going without coffee did cheer me up a bit about being home… but I'm still bored out of my brain. Yes Katie, I have a brain. Maybe you could sneak some coffee into his lunch somehow? Coffee-flavoured soup perhaps.
I hope you're giving McGeek lots of hassle without me there. Can't let him get too comfortable now can we? And it sounds to me like he's getting a little too comfy already.
Don't get too used to the peace and quiet Katie, I'll be back soon. I know you miss me.
From, Tony
To: SexMachine
From: KateTodd
Tony,
I don't know about missing you, but it's definitely weird without you here. Every time I make a comment I wait for you to make a sexist remark about it but it never comes.
I'm sorry to hear the cough is still hanging around. And for your information, Brad is just a friend. Not that it's any of your business anyway!
I had enough of Gibbs' bad mood today and told him to drink his coffee already so things could go back to normal. Bad move, I know. Now I have twice the paperwork and Gibbs is smugly sipping on a bottle of water.
Don't worry about McGee getting too comfy. With you gone, he not only has more work to do, but he also gets all the head-slaps that are usually meant for you. Abby hasn't been up to the bullpen quite as much lately, but I'm guessing you already know that seeing as every time I go down there she's on the phone to you.
Get well soon Tony, things are getting too weird around here.
From, Kate
To: KateTodd
From: SexMachine
Katie,
Brad's just a friend huh? Does that mean there's someone else, or you're a single lady again?
I'm gonna ask Gibbs later why he's gone off coffee. He can't hurt me – I'm sick… cough. Abby rings at least twice a day, McGee sent me some cool computer games yesterday (which has given him immunity for a while) and Ducky's been bringing me healthy food all week. Most of it's quite disgusting. I can't wait to have real food. This crap is the kind of weird stuff you eat. You're welcome to come and take it off my hands, with an exchange of proper food. :D
Thanks for sending me those cold cases. Haven't found anything yet but it's been keeping me fairly occupied. I just can't wait to leave the house!
See you soon (when I talk Gibbs into letting me come back)!
From, Tony
To: SexMachine
From: KateTodd
Tony,
I don't know why you're so interested in my personal life all of a sudden (oh yeah, you're DiNozzo), but I am quite single for the time being. (So yes that means you cannot pester me about anyone!)
I don't know why you complain about healthy food so much. It's good for you and it's making you better so you can come back to work sooner. So really, there's nothing to have against it.
Did you get any coffee-related answers from Gibbs yet? McGee thinks maybe your near-death experience has prompted him into taking better care of himself. I think he may be delusional.
Feel better and eat all your veggies Tony!
Yours, Katie
To: KateTodd
From: SexMachine
Katie,
I doubt that my getting the plague has anything to do with Gibbs giving up coffee, but he wouldn't tell me anything when I asked him. He just changed the subject and hung up.
My "near-death experience" might not have changed Gibbs, but believe it or not, it has made me really consider a few things. Like all the things I haven't done or seen or said.
Come round to my place Friday night. I'll cook dinner. I guarantee it'll be healthy (after all, what other choice do I have?).
Please come Katie. I have some important things to tell you.
Love, Tony
To: SexMachine
From: KateTodd
Tony,
OK, I'll be there… with dessert.
Love, Katie
To: SexMachine
From: KateTodd
Tony,
Thanks again for Friday night. I never would have imagined… it was perfect Tony. I wouldn't want to wish you ill, but if you hadn't gotten the plague, would you have ever told me how you felt? For that, I owe the nasty bug a thank you.
I'll see you at work tomorrow. Glad you're better and coming back. I did miss you.
Love always, your Katie xxx
The End.